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Help me!/Ask Hot Latte guy-Supplying cream and wisdom since 2007

Red Hand · 2007-01-21 00:45:22

Please help, kind poster. No wait, don't log off!!!! Dear gentle, kind boardsie, with your pink little fingers at the keyboard, dancing like incontinent fat little pigs on key-shaped flagstones on market-day, I need your help. You must understand, I'm about to SNAP! The stress and the pressure...the vague, veiled threats…

21-01-2007 12:45am

#1

Red Hand

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Please help, kind poster.

No wait, don't log off!!!!

Dear gentle, kind boardsie, with your pink little fingers at the keyboard, dancing like incontinent fat little pigs on key-shaped flagstones on market-day, I need your help.

You must understand, I'm about to SNAP! The stress and the pressure...the vague, veiled threats to me....I need some Heroes right right and now to save this slight, delicate damsel from the evil grasp of HER!!!

Put your underpants on over your trousers and Rescue me! Either that electrocute me with a cattle-prod.

Save me from the...Unmentionable One!

0

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#2 21-01-2007 12:49am

Scraggs

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iGod

0
#3 21-01-2007 12:53am

Rabies

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Click me to be saved.

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#4 21-01-2007 1:02am

Matt Holck

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key-shaped flagstones makes me do a double take
markets have no stones pressed into that complex shape
trot along the box tops skew half way through each level change

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#5 21-01-2007 1:09am

Matt Holck

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and if your gonna a snap
click a crimps cold crack
even with in timing
so skiddadles will be chiming

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#6 21-01-2007 1:20am

randylonghorn

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OK, Jer, which of them is it this time?

The Empress of Evil? ... Blue? ... Dutch?

Or has the reported demise of Amp caused a reincarnation of Pam?

If the latter, I reckon I'm going with the cattle-prod option ... more painless for everyone in the end.

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#7 21-01-2007 1:25am

Dutchology

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Matt Holck wrote:

and if your gonna a snap
click a crimps cold crack
even with in timing
so skiddadles will be chiming

Go away.

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#8 21-01-2007 1:40am

Matt Holck

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not til wiggle out all the loss struts
and disassemble the rusting fire truck

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#9 21-01-2007 3:02am

Matt Holck

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Dutchology wrote:

Go away.

granted
what do yoou want for a dollar

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#10 21-01-2007 5:46am

Shiminay

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THIS IS NOT A MEDICAL FORUM

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#11 26-01-2007 6:00am

Black Swan

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randylonghorn wrote:

OK, Jer, which of them is it this time?

The Empress of Evil? ... Blue? ... Dutch?

Must not be Blue, cause he's still breathin' (posting?). Do you have to be still breathing to post on TCN? **Looks at ceiling :rolleyes: **

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#12 26-01-2007 6:06am

Matt Holck

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I can't stop

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#13 26-01-2007 8:36am

Hail 2 Da Chimp

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Try harder!

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#14 26-01-2007 9:39am

Dutchology

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Matt Holck wrote:

I can't stop

*hands you special shoes*

...Now put them on and go for a swim...

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#15 27-01-2007 7:57am

Black Swan

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Need CPR Jeremiah?

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#16 28-01-2007 1:12am

Red Hand

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If you are dispensing it, then YES MAHM!

Clutches throat and gasps.

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#17 28-01-2007 6:13am

Black Swan

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Lay on this bed and we will administer treatment.*

*Yes, I know... "This is not a medical forum"

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#18 28-01-2007 3:31pm

Red Hand

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Don't pinch my nostrils so hard this time, nurse!

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#19 28-01-2007 3:46pm

challengemaster

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Blue_Lagoon wrote:

Lay on this bed and we will administer treatment.*

*Yes, I know... "This is not a medical forum"

you even qualified?

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#20 29-01-2007 12:59am

Black Swan

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Practice makes perfect!

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#21 29-01-2007 1:06am

The Bollox

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Scraggs wrote:

iGod

it's not the smartest thing in the world, ironically enough

God wrote:

Me:
hello God
God:
Hello child. What is your name?
Me:
none yo god damn business
God:
I heard there are some.
Me:
what?
God:
Are you surprised?
Me:
very
God:
Very much, eh?
Me:
oh yes
God:
Really.
Me:
what the **** did I just say, YES
God:
You said " what the **** did I just say, YES" . Please don't be so rude.
Me:
feck off
God:
What do you have that is ?
Me:
stfu
God:
My brain contains categories, but not one that matches your last input.
Me:
can I ask you a question?
God:
Ask me anything.
Me:
why are you such a wanker?
God:
Myself programmed me for it.

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#22 01-02-2007 10:40am

Black Swan

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Not so sure this was helpful to OP Jeremiah...

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#23 01-02-2007 10:32pm

Red Hand

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I agree. Help dealing with human females is what I need!

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#24 02-02-2007 10:41am

Black Swan

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Taibhse bean?

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#25 02-02-2007 11:19am

Red Hand

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Bean-si.

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#26 02-02-2007 11:27am

Black Swan

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Ta' me' cinnte

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#27 02-02-2007 12:52pm

Red Hand

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De Sathrain no de Luain, deanaigh me am.

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#28 02-02-2007 12:58pm

Dutchology

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Ca bhfuil me?

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#29 02-02-2007 6:04pm

Red Hand

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In die Nedjerlands!

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#30 02-02-2007 6:20pm

challengemaster

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Blue_Lagoon wrote:

Ta' me' cinnte

tsk tsk.. "Tá mé"

agus, an créatúr, faigh sláintiúil gan mhoill.

(Níl mé abalta caint as gaeilge. gabh mo leithscéal!)

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#31 03-02-2007 2:54am

randylonghorn

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Tá an béalscrudú ag teacht ... tá an béalscrudú ag teacht ... tá an béalscrudú ag teacht ...

/mise ag damhsa

Um ... mór mo náire anois!

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#32 03-02-2007 9:02am

Matt Holck

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I need a translator droid

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0076759/

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#33 03-02-2007 5:08pm

Dutchology

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Jeremiah 16:1 wrote:

In die Nedjerlands!

No - In het Nederlands Jer!

Pog mo hon (feck the faddas )

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#34 03-02-2007 5:12pm

challengemaster

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Dutchology wrote:

(feck the faddas )

What else can we feck.. ¬_¬

you? <_<

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#35 03-02-2007 5:15pm

Dutchology

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challengemaster wrote:

What else can we feck.. ¬_¬

you? <_<

Feck all!

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#36 03-02-2007 5:18pm

challengemaster

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I'm going to read that like

"Feck Everything"

Including you.

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#37 03-02-2007 5:22pm

Dutchology

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*gasp*

You promiscuous thing you CM!

Now, back to helping Jer...

Has i-God gotten back to you yet?

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#38 03-02-2007 5:28pm

challengemaster

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Dutchology wrote:

*gasp*

You promiscuous thing you CM!

uhm.. no? i'd be lucky to get one relationship, nevermind many!

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#39 03-02-2007 5:33pm

Dutchology

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Since you were thinking of fecking everything, I wasn't thinking along the lines of people. Sheep, chickens, the keyhole... All the little things that matter to you!

My back hurts, I should sit on a chair...

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#40 03-02-2007 5:42pm

challengemaster

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Dutchology wrote:

Since you were thinking of fecking everything, I wasn't thinking along the lines of people. Sheep, chickens, the keyhole... All the little things that matter to you!

Are you saying im small in that region? Because i certainly dont mind proving you wrong.

My back hurts, I should sit on a chair...

i think i know something else you can sit on.. >_>

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#41 03-02-2007 7:24pm

Dutchology

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Erm... It's not that important to me after all, I believe you...

*hands you a cow instead*

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#42 03-02-2007 7:33pm

challengemaster

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but you still need to sit.. please.. do..

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#43 03-02-2007 7:34pm

Dutchology

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*sits on fiancee*

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#44 03-02-2007 7:41pm

challengemaster

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bahhhh...

leading poor mise on bold!

you deserve a spanking for that.. now bend over

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#45 03-02-2007 7:51pm

Dutchology

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:eek: me? Nah, I've got better things to do...

Now, get back on topic!

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#46 03-02-2007 7:56pm

randylonghorn

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WTF is the topic?

(as if it matters!)

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#47 04-02-2007 9:13am

Black Swan

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Jeremiah needs help in dealing with a rather ruthless girl or woman? Oh, her name is not Ruth, cause she is Ruth-less.

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#48 06-02-2007 2:43am

Lust4Life

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Jer! You need help dealing with wimmin?
I am shocked!:eek:

I've posed your predicament to Hot Latte Guy.
He says whipped cream lightly drizzled with chocolate is the answer to all your troubles!:p

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#49 06-02-2007 9:13pm

Red Hand

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Please ask hot latte guy as to whether I drink the latte or not?:eek: Or do I use it as a cologne or something?

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#50 06-02-2007 9:31pm

challengemaster

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Lust4Life wrote:

Jer! You need help dealing with wimmin?
I am shocked!:eek:

pff he's fine.. i need it more!

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#51 07-02-2007 12:10am

Lust4Life

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Hot Latte Guy says to purchase a yummy latte for your lady whilst wearing your best cologne.

*Warning: Latte Mustache may appear - your next move is to offer to help cleaning it off of her...:p

Oh, and CM? Advice on how to catch the ladies? Do the exact opposite of everything you read in tCN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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