I regret my behaviour

Black Swan

StormWarrior wrote:

Well, it was far from the best relationship in the world and after 2 years with him I felt like I had missed out on alot. So, after breaking up, this year I have gone a bit crazy.

After you crashed and burned, you were on the rebound. People can do things out of character, cause it's painful breaking up and being disillusioned. I wouldn't beat myself up about it. Chill out and learn from it.

StormWarrior wrote:

Hans will be expecting me to sleep with him and I really don't want to. He can get in really p*ssed off moods when he doesn't get his own way. I don't know what to tell him so that he doesn't expect sex.

You can count on it! He expects it and will not be pleased, to say the least! I would contact him before my holiday, tell him how you now feel, and if he blows up, I would cancel my trip (and chalk it up to learning). Maybe you can get some of the cost refunded, if you are flying, depending upon the terms and conditions of the ticket? After all, it would not be a pleasant trip for you (or him), if he is mad or pouting or trying to pressure you?

StormWarrior wrote:

My other problem is, what if I meet a really nice bloke and want to settle down. Will he hold my sleeping around against me?

I believe in honesty in a relationship, but I also believe that it's sometimes best to spare The One the blow-by-blow details? Or a body count like the military does in news reports?

StormWarrior wrote:

I am just so full of regret!

Stop beating yourself up! What you are experiencing is called "life." Chill out, learn, and move on.

StormWarrior

thanks for your replies everyone. Just to get a couple of things straight:
1. I'm female
2. I'm not trolling!

dublin12

This is all pretty simple, you want to go to a concert and are feeling guilty about staying with Hans cos basically you just want B&B and are hoping he'll be ok with that. He invited you to stay most likely on the basis of a romantic/physical interlude during your visit and you know that. If you arrive over there and decide then to exercise your right to say no, you're just being sneaky in that you've done so in order to get the accommodation for the concert. Be honest with yourself, you're just trying to find a way to go and not feel guilty about it...

Contact Hans before you go, tell him you've met someone and you would still like to go over but only on a platonic basis and ask him if he is happy with that. At least then you've behaved decently and you'll feel better about yourself. The lost money will have to be chalked up to a learning experience as someone else already said...

As far as 'sleeping around', I agree with the general consensus here, stop beating yourself up, you're blowing it out of proportion and are self aware enough to know you dont want to do it so you've stopped, good on you. Everyone has different attitudes to this sort of thing, live and let live and just do what feels comfortable for you. My guy had only one serious rel before me while I had a few so my magic number was almost twice his..he married me...bottom line is it shouldnt matter, the person you are at present should be whats important to a romantic partner

good luck

dr.bollocko

Where is this guilt coming from? Big deal, you slept with some blokes on holidays. You waited with your virginity until age 20 to sleep with the right guy. It didnt work out, and learning from your mistake, and feeling regret for lost time, you went to another extreme, and slept with people you barely know. But why would you call yourself a slut because of that? Its this guilt at your actions that is making you feel this way.
No man worth having would hold your sexual past against you, and particularly when I wouldnt consider your sexual past to be a particularly active one, I cannot see where the problem is. Other posters have already stated this to death.
I think the underlying issue here is that you are the kind of person that can be controlled by guilt. You need to begin to see yourself as a nice, decent person worth being around and not worry so much about unimportant things like this.
Everything in life is an experience and there is no time to carry guilt with you everywhere you go.

All of the language you use while posting is negative, self abasing, and confounded by guilt. This Hans thing, with the concert, thats not a problem once you know how to assert what you want, and learn not to feel guilty when you get it.

aidan24326

1. 4 people does NOT make you a slut or anywhere near it. Most guys will not be all that concerned about how many you've had. Personally I'd prefer if a girl had a little experience but that's just me. Doesn't really matter with the right person though, it's a non-issue.

2.Go with Dublin12's advice. Tell Hans before you go that there will be no hanky panky this time. And be fairly clear about it. There are a couple of different excuses you could use. New boyfriend is a good one. You could tell him nothing but then say you have your period if he suggests getting jiggy(risky if he's into that sort of thing, never know with them germans )
Or you could just go with the whole 'want to be just friends' thing. But above all do be honest, otherwise you're just using him for his accomodation.

3.You could skip the whole thing. You say you are pretty broke, can't afford somewhere to stay, may have to stay with some moody guy who just wants you for a couple of quickies, how much fun is this trip going to be?

craichoe

Christ ..

Stay in a hostel you cheap b*astard .... Its around 15- 20 euros per night .. problem solved .. mother of god ...

Sleepy

4 sexual partners in your life? That's pretty innocent imho.

Rb

iguana wrote:

Problem 2: I can't believe it is 2006 and you are still feeling like this. Can I ask that if you met the man of your dreams and he had previously slept with 4, 10 or 20 people would you hold it against him? I don't mean get an occasional jealous or insecure moment, I mean actually hold it against him to the point where it made you doubt your willingness to continue a relationship with him? People have sex-drives, we rarely settle down young anymore and this means that we tend to have a number of sexual partners.

2, 10, 100 anyone worth being with will not judge you on your past sexual experiences. In fact many men prefer women with a bit of experience.

100?Are you serious?I wouldn't touch a girl who had 100 previous sexual partners with a 30 foot barge pole, let alone even think of having a relationship with her.

I, for one, certainly see a problem with the OPs behaviour. It's not a huge number of people obviously, but considering the time space in which it happened it is considerable. It doesn't make her a slut really, but if continued it certainly would(imo). How people can stand by and almost encourage dropping your knickers to almost any guy you meet is beyond me.

Just because its 2006 (almost 07), doesn't mean our morals have to be so loose as to accept the behaviour of women (or men) who want to go dropping their pants at any given opportunity.
If someone wants to do it, by all means go ahead but don't be surprised if you're judged by everyone around you for doing it or claim their "not worth it".

At least the OP is going to quit this behaviour and put it down as a learning experience before her reputation goes down the drain and people are laughing at her behind her back.

Sleepy

lol rb_ie, catholic priest by any chance?

No kind of consentual sexual behaviour makes someone a bad or 'immoral' (a complete nonsense of a term given the subjectivity of morals) person.

In fact, I would go so far as to say the person who holds another's sexual history against them is at fault. Unless one has some serious issues with their own sexuality (such as those the Catholic church famously promotes), I can't even begin to fathom why they would feel the right to condemn another human being for the sexual acts they've performed or their 'promiscuity'.

What exactly is immoral about taking part in a consensual act which brings pleasure to yourself and another person? :rolleyes:

Saint_Mel

I have to agree with craichoe.
Not trying to be smart/harsh or anything but I'm a firm believer in paying
my way.

Hostels are cheap as chips and if you cant afford one I really don't know
how you can afford to go to the concert at all. Even if theres no hostel
near did you look into budget hotels or B&B's

I assume you had planned to spend some money at the actual event so how
about leaving the concert t shirt down and pay for accommodation instead.
T shirt is probably the same cost as a night in a hostel!

I'm sure a bank/credit union or even your mate who was supposed to go
with you would lend you €100 and you'd be laughing.

Seems to me you just are looking for a free ride (no pun intended )

Rb

Sleepy wrote:

lol rb_ie, catholic priest by any chance?

Hah, the Church wouldn't let me in for some of the stuff I've done in my life

Sleepy wrote:

No kind of consentual sexual behaviour makes someone a bad or 'immoral' (a complete nonsense of a term given the subjectivity of morals) person.

Well, morals in terms of ethics. Depending on the ethics surrounding an environment, consentual sexual behaviour could indeed make someone a bad or 'immoral' person. A highly catholic environment for instance, would make it immoral to have sex before marriage, as would masturbation etc.

That said, I'm not a strict catholic, I'm not even catholic. I believe people should be able to have sex before marriage and not feel guilty for it, and masturbate should they want to (amongst other things) but I do condemn people who go out dropping their knickers to random strangers at every chance they get.
These people are sluts, they're frowned upon for a reason like. I suppose it wouldn't bother you if your little sister was going out sleeping with different people once a week? Given your apparent liberal stance on the matter anyway.

Sure, some more liberal people may see absolutely no problem with girls (or men) who go out every single weekend and sleep with some randomer they've met in a club/pub. They simply have different ethical beliefs/morals to me.

Sleepy wrote:

In fact, I would go so far as to say the person who holds another's sexual history against them is at fault. Unless one has some serious issues with their own sexuality (such as those the Catholic church famously promotes), I can't even begin to fathom why they would feel the right to condemn another human being for the sexual acts they've performed or their 'promiscuity'.

I've absolutely no problem with my own sexuality and have had no influences in my upbringing that would have an influence on it (i.e a highly catholic family/strict christian parents etc). Perhaps I just have higher standards. I find having a vast number of sexual partners (i.e a slut) a very unattractive attribute to a person.

If someone introduced me to a girl who was nice, I got along with well, was physically attracted to etc., and then after the meeting told me that she'd had , for example, on average 3 sexual partners per month for the last few years, it would instantly put me off the girl. I'm just not attracted to whores and I believe their behaviour to be wrong.

Again, some may see absolutely no problem whatsoever with a girl going around and dropping her knickers to (more or less) strangers whenever she wants. I suppose it comes down to the person, their environment and the ethics/morals surrounding that environment. Some people are happy having girlfriends that slept with scores of guys, I wouldn't be.

Lol, maybe I do come off as a strict catholic or something. I'm not though, I just have ethical/moral standards, as well as standards when it comes to partners, that may differ from some more...liberal...people. I do however know quite a few people who share these standards and frown upon sluts, but thats the great thing about life I suppose, the diversity

aidan24326

rb_ie wrote:

Hah, the Church wouldn't let me in for some of the stuff I've done in my life

You sound like a wild one alright.

What time machine did you use to get here from 1932? Can I have a go in it?

Sure, some more liberal people may see absolutely no problem with girls (or men) who go out every single weekend and sleep with some randomer they've met in a club/pub. They simply have different ethical beliefs/morals to me

Each to their own. I don't know why you think someone immoral just because they enjoy having sex regularly.

I've absolutely no problem with my own sexuality and have had no influences in my upbringing that would have an influence on it (i.e a highly catholic family/strict christian parents etc). Perhaps I just have higher standards. I find having a vast number of sexual partners (i.e a slut) a very unattractive attribute to a person

I think you have more issues than you think. To say you would dump an otherwise great girl just because she's had a fair few sexual partners in the past is prrof of this. What if she had now changed her attitude and was ready to settle down with someone she really liked? (i.e you)

If someone introduced me to a girl who was nice, I got along with well, was physically attracted to etc., and then after the meeting told me that she'd had , for example, on average 3 sexual partners per month for the last few years, it would instantly put me off the girl. I'm just not attracted to whores and I believe their behaviour to be wrong

In fairness I think there are very few girls around who'd be going through that many sexual partners. And calling them whores is a bit harsh. Like I said, each to their own.

Rb

aidan24326 wrote:

You sound like a wild one alright.

What time machine did you use to get here from 1932? Can I have a go in it?

I could tell a comment like this was coming. Hi-Larious.

Call me old fashioned because I have ethical standards that are not met by sluts. I'm not alone in this either, most of the guys I know wouldn't have a relationship with a girl that they know to have slept around quite a lot. And before you even have the chance to make another absolutely brilliant joke, no, I'm not referring to fellow priests/the clergy/the choir etc etc.

Its funny though, these girls who go around dropping their knickers every chance they get are usually the same who complain that men treat them like pieces of meat, when they only have themselves to blame, or the ones who somehow never manage to keep a guy and develop a relationship.

aidan24326 wrote:

Each to their own. I don't know why you think someone immoral just because they enjoy having sex regularly.

Oh, I've no problem with people who enjoy having sex regularly...once they're in a relationship. Girls who go out and have sex with someone they've met earlier that night because they enjoy it or are purely seeking the pleasure on a regular occasion...well...why don't they just go legit and stick a price onto it? At least they'd have something to show for it at the end of the day, rather than just a reputation (which some guys will then take advantage of).

Let me ask you, what do you think of prostitutes?If you met one who'd retired but you knew she had been a protitute, would that affect your perception of this person?Would you have a relationship with someone who you knew had sold their body to men regularly (but got pleasure out of it !!!11) and be able to just forget about it?

I know I wouldn't. I've a very condescending view of prostitutes and imo, sluts aren't much better than them.

aidan24326 wrote:

I think you have more issues than you think. To say you would dump an otherwise great girl just because she's had a fair few sexual partners in the past is prrof of this. What if she had now changed her attitude and was ready to settle down with someone she really liked? (i.e you)

Issues? No. I'm just picky, especially when it comes to relationships. I have standards.
I don't even socialise with known sluts, I don't condone their behaviour so why would I. I treat women with the respect they deserve, same as guys, but but I'm not going to respect someone who has so little respect for themselves as to go spreading their legs to any guy who managed to chat her up in a club that night. They don't deserve respect. Part of relationships is respect for one another, and if theres none there to begin with it can only lead to problems.

aidan24326 wrote:

In fairness I think there are very few girls around who'd be going through that many sexual partners. And calling them whores is a bit harsh. Like I said, each to their own.

Well, it was a fairly extreme example and I find calling such a person a whore in no way harsh.

Each to their own indeed. If someone sees nothing wrong with slutish behaviour and condones it, thats their opinion and I fully respect that.

Anyway, back on topic I suppose.

OP: Like was said above, just go to a youth hostel. Its dirt cheap and you can avoid Hans by doing so.
Or just don't go on it, sure you may have invested a significant sum into it but if you can forsee it being a bad holiday/loads of arguing with Hans etc then you'll just regret spending the money on it in the first place. You don't have to go and deal with Hans, it is your choice remember.

Sleepy

rb_ie wrote:

Hah, the Church wouldn't let me in for some of the stuff I've done in my life

Well, morals in terms of ethics. Depending on the ethics surrounding an environment, consentual sexual behaviour could indeed make someone a bad or 'immoral' person. A highly catholic environment for instance, would make it immoral to have sex before marriage, as would masturbation etc.

That said, I'm not a strict catholic, I'm not even catholic. I believe people should be able to have sex before marriage and not feel guilty for it, and masturbate should they want to (amongst other things) but I do condemn people who go out dropping their knickers to random strangers at every chance they get.
These people are sluts, they're frowned upon for a reason like. I suppose it wouldn't bother you if your little sister was going out sleeping with different people once a week? Given your apparent liberal stance on the matter anyway.

Sure, some more liberal people may see absolutely no problem with girls (or men) who go out every single weekend and sleep with some randomer they've met in a club/pub. They simply have different ethical beliefs/morals to me.


I've absolutely no problem with my own sexuality and have had no influences in my upbringing that would have an influence on it (i.e a highly catholic family/strict christian parents etc). Perhaps I just have higher standards. I find having a vast number of sexual partners (i.e a slut) a very unattractive attribute to a person.

If someone introduced me to a girl who was nice, I got along with well, was physically attracted to etc., and then after the meeting told me that she'd had , for example, on average 3 sexual partners per month for the last few years, it would instantly put me off the girl. I'm just not attracted to whores and I believe their behaviour to be wrong.

Again, some may see absolutely no problem whatsoever with a girl going around and dropping her knickers to (more or less) strangers whenever she wants. I suppose it comes down to the person, their environment and the ethics/morals surrounding that environment. Some people are happy having girlfriends that slept with scores of guys, I wouldn't be.

Lol, maybe I do come off as a strict catholic or something. I'm not though, I just have ethical/moral standards, as well as standards when it comes to partners, that may differ from some more...liberal...people. I do however know quite a few people who share these standards and frown upon sluts, but thats the great thing about life I suppose, the diversity

Let me ask you something: why do you feel the need to brand or degrade someone who's more free with their sexuality than yourself? What's bad about sleeping with someone who you're not in love with? What about the sexual act is bad?

Now, I'm expecting you to counter with "some people just believe you shouldn't engage in sexual activities with someone unless you're in a meaningful relationship" or some variation of the same thing. What I'm asking you to do (and OP, you should do this too) is ask yourself: what's bad about it? Why is it something only to be done within the boundaries of a serious relationship? Why is it that I look down on others who don't agree with me on this?

(maybe we should take this to humanities but I think it'd probably do the OP good to realise that not everyone has the same archaic notions about sex)

Sleepy

rb_ie wrote:

I'm not going to respect someone who has so little respect for themselves as to go spreading their legs to any guy who managed to chat her up in a club that night. They don't deserve respect.

Why not?

What has she done to deserve your scorn?

Carrigart Exile

Sleepy wrote:

Why not?

What has she done to deserve your scorn?

exactly, as a better man than any of us said 'let he who has not sinned cast the first stone'

StormWarrior

dublin12 wrote:

This is all pretty simple, you want to go to a concert and are feeling guilty about staying with Hans cos basically you just want B&B and are hoping he'll be ok with that. He invited you to stay most likely on the basis of a romantic/physical interlude during your visit and you know that. If you arrive over there and decide then to exercise your right to say no, you're just being sneaky in that you've done so in order to get the accommodation for the concert. Be honest with yourself, you're just trying to find a way to go and not feel guilty about it...

No, Hans has a bit of an open house, all his mates stay there all the time. The first time i stayed there we didnt sleep together and he still said i could go back. I have several friends all over europe, we have a thing where we take it in turns to visit each other as a way of having cheap holidays.

Rb

Sleepy wrote:

Let me ask you something: why do you feel the need to brand or degrade someone who's more free with their sexuality than yourself?

I didn't brand anyone, these people branded themselves. Theres various definitions in the dictionary that they fall under when they engage in certain behaviour or activities. 'Slut' covers the women who go out spreading their legs to different men on a regular occasion.
I just haven't given it enough consideration to come up with my own, original name for them.

I don't consider a girl who goes and lies flat with her legs open to any guy that manages to fill her head in a night club to be respecting herself. How would she be? She's lying there, part-taking in an intimate activity with an almost complete stranger whilst he uses a part of her body for his jollies. Then when hes done, he generally won't bother calling or getting in contact and she goes off and the next time she meets a guy, she does it again!
Letting guys use and abuse them, how self respectful.
Oh wait though, she did get some form of pleasure from the stranger on top of her, so I guess that makes everything ok!lol...

Sleepy wrote:

What's bad about sleeping with someone who you're not in love with? What about the sexual act is bad?

Now, I'm expecting you to counter with "some people just believe you shouldn't engage in sexual activities with someone unless you're in a meaningful relationship" or some variation of the same thing. What I'm asking you to do (and OP, you should do this too) is ask yourself: what's bad about it? Why is it something only to be done within the boundaries of a serious relationship? Why is it that I look down on others who don't agree with me on this?

You're right to an extent, that would be part of my response to such a question. I do put some value in sex, for it to have a meaning, to show your respect/love/care for your partner, it can be a milestone in some relationships, a special moment shared between two people who care, respect eachother (but may not yet love eachother, though it can bring on feelings of). An intimate moment.
I wouldn't sleep with a prostitute, so I wouldn't with someone who was known to be a bit of a slut either (though she didn't charge).

I don't look down on those who condone this behaviour, but I do on those who practise it. They (imo) are displaying absolutely no self-respect, and sure if you can't respect yourself how can you expect others to?

Sleepy wrote:

(maybe we should take this to humanities)

Indeed, was thinking that myself.

Sleepy wrote:

Why not?

What has she done to deserve your scorn?

I think I've explained it above. If a girl displays such little self respect for herself, I'm hardly going to respect her, sure she can't even respect herself!

I don't even have friendships with these types of people, let alone relationships. I never have and I never will. Why? Because they're below my standards. Yes, I believe sluts to be below my standards and I'm sure as hell not alone in that.

Its not scorn Sleepy, its most likely a combination of disgust and lack of respect for.

Hopefully thats answered whatever questions you've posed.

StormWarrior

rb ie, I used to think the same way as you. Maybe when you are a little older and have some more life experience you will see that situations are not always so black and white.

Rb

StormWarrior wrote:

rb ie, I used to think the same way as you. Maybe when you are a little older and have some more life experience you will see that situations are not always so black and white.

Hold on, are you not the one going "Omgz am I a slut for sleeping with 4 people?!!?!?!?" ?

Life experience? Oh ffs. Don't even try and play the age card on this one. I've enough life experience to quantify what I've said.

Your "life experience" seems to have done f*ck all for you seeing as you posted this thread.

I'm in no way attacking you, but I find it highly amusing that you can come out with such a statement but not have the "life experience" to solve what is a very, very, very basic problem.

StormWarrior

so then tell me, if you know so much, what is the solution?

Rb

StormWarrior wrote:

so then tell me, if you know so much, what is the solution?

If you really want to go, make sure Hans knows full and well beforehand that nothing is going to happen. You owe him nothing, he offered the place to stay and if you thought it was on the sole condition that he was going to have sex with you, you'd of never booked the holiday in the first place.

OR

Make up an elaborate lie that you're in a relationship and are committed to the guy.

OR

Don't bother going. If you think you won't be able to handle the situation when you're there, or it won't be a good holiday, don't put yourself through it. It may be a bit of cash gone, but you'll have saved yourself a hard time.
Money comes and goes and there'll be other holidays.

OR

Go, but get into a cheap hostel. They're dirt cheap and you'll avoid Hans and the whole situation altogether.

You've plenty of options, all that prevent you feeling forced into sleeping with some guy that you don't want to.

marcsignal

storm warrior, i've just read your opening post and glanced over the others.
Am I to understand you've slept with 3 different guys since last june ?
If so that's really not such a big deal, really it isn't.

You came out of a long relationship that you thought might be the big one, and you're now 22. Trust me when I tell you, you will likely have many more partners before you're 30 and there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING wrong with that.

I'm now 39, when I was 23 I met a girl who was 18 and went out with her for about 2 1/2 yrs, we eventually broke up, as you do, and like you I went on a mad one, as did she. It bugged me at the time and to be honest I didn't feel good about her or myself because she had lost her virginity to me.

life went on and i was drifting in and out of casual relationships for more than 15 years, never really finding the right person.

Earlier this summer I was also in Germany, I met a woman there who was closer to my own age, 2 yrs older in fact.
Things just clicked and we hit it off.
When she told me she was divorced with 2 boys 8 and 12, and had since had a dubious relationship with a swinger guy, which went belly up (excuse the pun:)), I surprised myself because at this point I already had developed feelings for her, so her chequered past was totally irrelevant. It really didn't make a damn bit of difference to me and how I felt about her.
Besides I knew I wasn't exactly 'Mother Teresa' myself in the past anyway, and realised it would have been like the kettle calling the pot 'black arse' if i was to judge her for her past. Sh*t Happens....
I went back there in September and have just come home now for my Graduation.
We text each other every day.

Maybe you should email 'Hans' before you go there and just explain all this as honestly as you can ? It would be better than sitting on the situation until you get there, that could be real messy and awkward.
If he's really a good friend, he will consider what you're going through and hopefully understand that things have changed for you, at least for the moment.

Without this pressure looming over you, you might just have a wonderful holiday, a great time, and you never know, by the end you might feel differently about him.
Who knows? he could even be 'Herr Right'

I met my original old ex last August by chance in my local after 10 years, it was good to see her, she's married now with 2 kids.
I was nuts about this girl all those years ago and real 'fu**ed up' upset when we broke up.
we had a pint or two and laughed about it all, It made me think 'well maybe I wasn't such a bastard after all'

I'm so back to germany after xmas ye won't see me for dust....

please don't let this situation get you down, try not regret things you no longer have any control over, it will just hold you back.
Just chill, free your mind, take control, and your ass will follow.:)

Take some advice from an old vagabond

coffee_cake

PunK05 wrote:

you've only slept with 4 people, one of whom you where in a long term relationship. thats not being a slut. and anyone you meet in the future who holds that against you isn't worth your time.

Absolutely. Can't say this enough.

She's lying there, part-taking in an intimate activity with an almost complete stranger whilst he uses a part of her body for his jollies.

Errrr.
1. Who's to say she's lying there
2. Who says he's using her? Or that it's not entirely mutual?

StormWarrior

marcsignal wrote:

Who knows? he could even be 'Herr Right'

hahaha! No way! I know that for sure! Thanks for your post though!

Tar.Aldarion

rb_ie, you hold the smae opinion of men as you do for women who sleep with people a lot?
99% of men are sluts to you?

'I don't even socialise with known sluts'
'Such little self respect for herself'

You see something 'wrong' with sex?
Subconscious psychological catholic guilt much?


Because sex is more than just 'fun' for you always, you look down on others?
Hmm...speaking of ethics...

coffee_cake

Tar.Aldarion wrote:

rb_ie, you hold the smae opinion of men as you do for women who sleep with people a lot?
99% of men are sluts to you?

You see something 'wrong' with sex?
Subconscious psychological catholic guilt much?

Because sex is more than just 'fun' for you always, you look down on others?
Hmm...speaking of ethics...

Don't forget that he's fond of having a lapdance now and then
maybe he fantasises that they're rather inexperienced

SW: so can you stay at a cheap hostel or anything?

Rb

Tar.Aldarion wrote:

rb_ie, you hold the smae opinion of men as you do for women who sleep with people a lot?
99% of men are sluts to you?

I don't know many guys who sleep around tbh, the majority (all but 1) prefer to meet a girl and start seeing them regularly/dating.

I don't idiolise womanizers. I'd hope thats just younger people these days who think the guy who goes around sleeping with randomers is "the man/cool/etc". The one guy I do know who does go out solely to find whatever girl will come back to his/her room with him, well, hes a bit of an idiot tbh.

Tar.Aldarion wrote:

You see something 'wrong' with sex?
Subconscious psychological catholic guilt much?

Guilt for?I see nothing wrong with sex. I do, however, see a problem with a girl(or guy for that matter) going out and dropping their pants to whatever member of the opposite sex(or same sex, depending on their preference) will have them at the end of the night. If you don't see a problem with it, grand, thats your view and you're entitled to it.

Now, this thread isn't becoming another Rb Q&A like some have recently. Peoples views on these matters differ greatly. I know quite a few who would share my views on the subject, then you have others who don't.
Personally I don't care, I'll label people as I see fit and not associate with those who don't meet my standards.

Anyway, back on topic to helping the OP and I'm not answering another question regarding my beliefs/views in this thread. If you want, you can PM me but I'm having another interrogation.

StormWarrior

bluewolf wrote:

SW: so can you stay at a cheap hostel or anything?

well i'm going to tell Hans before I go there that I have a boyf and am off limits. If he seems ok with that then great. If not, then I will try and scrape together some cash for a hostel.

coffee_cake

StormWarrior wrote:

well i'm going to tell Hans before I go there that I have a boyf and am off limits. If he seems ok with that then great. If not, then I will try and scrape together some cash for a hostel.

Ok, sounds good, good luck