One of those days....

chamlis

I can't believe she told him. That's the second time she mentioned something to him about me as a joke. She knows how f**King paranoid he is. What the f**k did she think he'd do, laugh it off?
She's got to be brainwashed or something. Lord knows I just can't trust her now.

chamlis

takola wrote:

Well tbh, the best thing you can do is get someone to take a pic of you in your boxers and send it to everyone. That way the novelty is gone for him and you can laugh about it and say it was (yet another) drunken prank!

I bet you'd like to be first on the list

takola

Nah, I dont get off on humiliating people!!!!

chamlis

takola wrote:

Nah, I dont get off on humiliating people!!!!

hehehe

You know, I'm actually starting to feel better after talking to you guys. And I'm really starting to see the funny side of this whole thing. It's hillarious. Well, when you take the threats to your life and physical violence away

secret_squirrel

Im puzzled. What does he have on you that makes it not worth going to the police?

And quite frankly I suggest you look at your relationship with this girl. It seems to me from your posts that you fancy her quite a bit. In which case already knowing he is a nutter you are asking for trouble - not that it justifies what he did.

As for the photo - he can only humiliate you if you act humliliated, the sending a photo of yourself around is not a bad idea.

takola

Well thats how i would deal with it. Laugh if off! (I would really go to the guards but seen as that seems to not be an option! )

I mean, everyone really wants to be taken to the countryside, stripped to their underwear and left to go ask some poor terrified woman for help only to be refused TWICE!!!!!!! ROFL

chamlis

secret_squirrel wrote:

Im puzzled. What does he have on you that makes it not worth going to the police?

Something which I am not going to discuss here.

And quite frankly I suggest you look at your relationship with this girl. It seems to me from your posts that you fancy her quite a bit. In which case already knowing he is a nutter you are asking for trouble - not that it justifies what he did.

Truth is I love her. Like I said, her Mother has us married off in her own mind. Naming the unborn grandchildren as we speak. But I realised that we are completely unsuited. And I'm sure she doesn't feel the same way. Besides, my love has grown into a deeply bonded friendship which she does share. We have never had sex but we have fooled around on many occasions (one was, in fact, her unintended 21st bday present to me = drunk) though not for at least 2 years, when she started going out with him. We decided we never would go so far as to have sex as that would be crossing the line and change things way to much, no matter how much you say it won't etc.

As for the photo - he can only humiliate you if you act humliliated, the sending a photo of yourself around is not a bad idea.

I'm gonna try to laugh it off I think. When you laugh, people laugh with you. When you frown they laugh at you.

LegacyUser

Laugh it off ????

SO ... what about the next time he tries to humiliate you ?
He obviously has no respect for you. Cross him again and
God knows what he'll do to you.

Maybe he goes a little further (rape you or beat you up) ?
Or maybe he is capable of doing these things to someone
else ...

I think you should at least ask the cops opinion (if nothing
else).

observer

i'd rather take a beating than let some fool think he can control people. how much dirt can he possibly have on you. to me its a simple choice cos he will give your "she like a sister" friend a smack some time.

is the dirt he has on you big enough for you to risk the welfare of your best friend?

in 10 years if he's in jail for GBH where some guy who was chatting to his girlfriend at the time tells him to piss off when he threatens him ends up in a wheel chair


stand up and be responsible enough to take actions aganist the scum that is destroy this country and in limerick in particular

and at worst head the head down for a few months later be careful where you go and who your with. don't be alone down a dark alley etc etc

REPORT THIS TOSSER!!!!

Gordon

NortSoide wrote:

Laugh it off ????

SO ... what about the next time he tries to humiliate you ?
He obviously has no respect for you. Cross him again and
God knows what he'll do to you.

Maybe he goes a little further (rape you or beat you up) ?
Or maybe he is capable of doing these things to someone
else ...

I think you should at least ask the cops opinion (if nothing
else).

NortSoide, is that the first ever post of yours that has passed the pre-modding? Congrats, I knew you had it in you!

chamlis

I've been keeping the head down since the dirt happened. I've left the city where it happened. There are people who would like to find me.

God this all sounds either mysterious or a load of BS. But it's true. There are places in this country I can never go again because they are places that I have fled from.

gerrycollins

chamlis wrote:

Hopefully. There is the matter of the picture on his camera phone however....

why dont you tell his mates that he took the pic of you after he came on to you or something like that

gerrycollins

chamlis wrote:

I've been keeping the head down since the dirt happened. I've left the city where it happened. There are people who would like to find me.

God this all sounds either mysterious or a load of BS. But it's true. There are places in this country I can never go again because they are places that I have fled from.

getting weird

head off to the USA keep the head down for a few YEARScome back all mean and tough and take care fo this guy

Or stand up for yourself, be a man not a wimp, and others around you report him

you might save a life!

Chucky the tree

chamlis wrote:

Dunno.
Kinda why I posted. I thought people would understand why i cant go to the cops though

I feel for ya. Its easy for people on the internet to stay "Oh you have to go to the polic etc". THere not in any danager, you are.

If you dont want to go to the police, then dont. My advice is too cut all ties with the fella and your "mate"

If she rings or texts you, just tell her you dont want to be her firned anymore.

Chinafoot

Have to agree with observer. You say that she's like your sister and that you love her yet then you say that she's made her bed.

If you love her you would do whatever you could to help protect her. I understand that when people are in a relationship like that it can be very hard for them to leave and no amount of advice from friends can change it. A friend of mine was in an abusive relationship for a very long time but he had completely destroyed any self-esteem she had and she felt she couldn't leave him. However, her friends had to be there for her because eventaully we knew that she'd see the light and get herself out, before it went too far. And we knew that she'd need our help to do it.

If this guy is as mental as you say then your friend is in a very dangerous situation. He humiliated you but what will he do to her?

Like bluewolf said, if you report him now the gardai will know about him and it'd make things easier should she need to report him in the future.

chamlis

I'm going to see about maybe going to the citizens advice beurau or something. The cop shop is next door so maybe I'll just go in and ask some hypothetical questions....

FranknFurter

If I were you I'd report it.
Going from everything you have said, as far as what is usually seen as "unpredictable behaviour" goes, his next "step" is violence.
Probably towards a female, and likely towards his partner (your friend).

You can move on from "moving away"
Would be very difficult for her (or anyone) to move on from being dead.

b

chamlis

He's never touched her. She def wouldn't stand for that. It's the emotional stuff that's dangerous here I think. Undermining confidence or whatever.

It's not my problem anymore. I have to look out for me now.

impr0v

chamlis wrote:

I'm going to see about maybe going to the citizens advice beurau or something. The cop shop is next door so maybe I'll just go in and ask some hypothetical questions....

If you're wondering about whether he could be done for anything, there's a strong case against him on assault, false imprisionment and for threats to kill or cause serious harm, contrary to sections 2, 5 and 15 of the non-fatal offences against the person act 1997.

Whether he'd do time for them or not is another question, all the offences carry a prision sentence for summary conviction; 12 months max for the last 2 and 6 for the assault. For a first time offence he might get off for a fine, but given that he committed three offences he might just get one depending on the judges mood. If he has priors he's almost certain to get a sentence.

chamlis

What if he doesn't? Then where am I?

Even if he did, he'd be out sometime.

Thanks for the info all the same.

EDIT: Make no mistake, this is a dangerous man we are talking about here. And he's not Irish.

LegacyUser

Ok.. well, you asked HIS girlfriend to flash you. Whether or not you meant it thats crossed the line. Esp since the two of you were alone in HIS house. I can see why he's mad but how is he possesive like you said he was?

Reporting him.. could get you in a lot of **** and your friend. About the picture being sent to people.. who cares about that really. It's not naked and it's taken on a phone and I'm assuming you didn't pose for it so it's probably a terrible photo - quality wise.

If your friend loves him, stop messing the up. Plain and simple. If she doesn't love him or might be under threat you should really tell her mother.
That might sound childish but her mother would have most control over her (assuming) and her mother would probably kick his ass

takola

Look, Stay away from his and his girlfriend and keep your head down. If he is so dangerous then thats the best thing that you can do.

A Primal Nut

Yeah just tell her you don't want to talk to her again and don't comfort her when something happens. She's obviously one of these girls who is attracted to all the assholes and uses the nice guys when she needs someone to talk to. She deserves what she gets if she makes the same mistake more than once.

Sgt. Politeness

Beruthiel wrote:

no
I absolutely do not understand why you haven't gone to the cops, I would have went straight to the nearest station

I would have thought it was obvious to a blind man why he cant go to the cops

1)Psycho will get off with nothing but a warning
2)Psycho will find chamlis and beat the living piss out of him for squealing
3)or if hes really devious he'll just release this 'sensitive information' about chamlis which is obviously going to get him battered by other people, and psycho gets him bashed and doesnt even have to lift a finger against him

Going to the cops is retarded. Whats sensible is staying the fvck out of his and her way, for good. Shes a dope for telling him in the first place, and hes just a lunatic. Youre better off away from em both. Find another bird to fall in love with, one who doesnt have a fvcking mentalist for a bf.

chamlis

They can all go to Hell as far as I'm concerned. Like I said, I have to look out for me now. Something I haven't done for a long time.

bug

o..k....

this is all sounding fairly weird to me.
I've alot of good mates. I have to say, messing or otherwise, the inclination never came upon me in the wee small hours to ask them to flash me. Toasted or not.
I sense alot of drama here.

What he did was pretty f*ked up. But in all honesty, the whole story sounds a bit f*ked up to me.

I may be going out on a limb here but who are you playing with him or her? after all you said "He's a bit of a b*ll*x but we have a good rapore, considering her mother has the two of us married off in her mind. "

Why would her mother say that?
I dont know why but I feel a little jelously and unstability in this.

If it was a normal situation, anyone would have gone to the police, that is is they were that disturbed by it.

thats not "one of those days", thats pretty unstable and a bit too much.

chamlis

Playing with?

bug

well, it all seems rather strange.
A bloke abducts you, threatens you, and leaves you almost naked.
Which in itself is totally weird and doesnt happen to a hell of alot of people on "one of those days".

but you seem to include in your first post that her mother has the two of you married off. I dont see the relevance.

My question is really, rather than playing, would you be attracted to either one of them, by any chance?

Setun

The plot thickens...

There are a lot of unclarities in the OP as illuminated above.
As for the potential threats from this maniac, can you go and stay with family or somebody away from this mess? What's the likelihood that he could find you?

Stabshauptmann

Problem 1
You like his GF. You've been living in hope for 2 years and you did want a flash. We're not simple ppl, nerds are smart

Your an intellectual whore. She likes the hard men only so long as she has the soft type to talk too in between. Shes not doing anything wrong IMO. You agreed not to have sex with a hot chick cos it would ruin your friendship??!! True, it would. But Ive ruined a few friendships this year and its well worth it.

Problem 2
He has an embarassing photo. He has ALREADY showed it to ppl.

If you have seperate social circles then its not a problem
If you dont want everyone laughing at you make up a reasonable story about some prank/dare/house party etc. If you're on bebo or what ever make it your display picture.

Problem 3
You're from Limerick. Now so you've been run out of a few areas nothing to this with this guy. You say the boyfriend is a non national and very dangerous. He apparently has dirt on you.

Is the dirt embarassing, illegal, or are there ppl looking for you and he might tell them where you are?

Stay the **** away from him and stop lusting after his GF.
Pleanty more fish in the sea but you have to cut this one loose first.


1)You shouldnt be hanging around with a girl you fancy and pretending to be friends. Not for 2 years anyway.
2)You shouldnt have done anything in his house.
3)If you go to the police you can put something on record without pressing charges.
Dont press charges, he'll get a warning, but if he does this again or worse it wont be the first time and a sentence will be more likly. Or if further down the line you feel like moving, press charges before you go