Departed pets;

tk123

ryanf1 wrote: »

Anyone having been through this, how soon is it ok to think of getting another one?

As soon as you feel ready - there's no set time.

Irish Stones

ryanf1 wrote: »

Anyone having been through this, how soon is it ok to think of getting another one?

In my case it's been for cats.
The first time it happened to me I said "never more", I didn't want to go through that kind of pain anymore.
Then I surrendered when I found two tiny kittens. Since then I went through it several times, and every time it's the same unbearable pain, but every time I get stronger and feel that I can do more and more for these unlucky creatures.

It depends on you, when you're ready you'll know it.

Gael23

It's my first experience of loss close to me in my life also, Im fortunate enough not to have experienced losing a close family member or friend yet. It's way too raw at the moment and I'm not expecting to be free from that for a few weeks but after that I know that there will be a hole in my life that I may need to fill.

My parents have been saying for the last while that when he's gone they will never get another but over the last 3 years as he slowly declined, he has been sleeping in their bedroom at night. They found last night really hard, not hearing him breathing and snoring and not hearing his nails scrape off the floor. Even through we knew on Wednesday he wasn't coming home, the feelings of loss didn't kick in until he actually died yesterday afternoon.

ikeano29

Personally I can get another dog nearly straight away but can understand people feel like they are betraying thier best friend by doing this.
Just because we get a new pet doesn't mean we love the last one any less.

11 year old Floss was PTS around 2 months ago.

Gael23

ikeano29 wrote: »

Personally I can get another dog nearly straight away but can understand people feel like they are betraying thier best friend by doing this.
Just because we get a new pet doesn't mean we love the last one any less..

At the moment I would feel like I was replacing him, which I know will never ever happen but I need to process whats happened first. Just now if I was to look at where he sat with us in the evening and see another dog there that was him, it would be a bit too much for me.
That leads on to another question. Is it better to get a different breed?

ikeano29

I don't know, I suppose everyone has different feelings and ideas about things.
I've always had the same breed the last 2 dogs(20 years) but this time am changing to mongrel mainly due to size of house and garden and less vet bills so again it's up to you to do what you feel is right.
It does get easier but you never lose the love you had for a dog that's gone.

They are only here for a short while, all you can do is make it the best life they ever lived while they are with you :-)

jellybear

ikeano29 wrote: »

They are only here for a short while, all you can do is make it the best life they ever lived while they are with you :-)

That is so lovely and also so true.

Gael23

I'm on my phone so I can't quote ikeano's post but I truly hope we gave him the best life we could.
It's hitting me harder every day at the moment. I know it will get better but it's going to be a while. I Have yet to experience the empty feelings people go on about but until the rawness goes I don't image it will hit.

Dontfadeaway

One of my dogs died last week and now another today. Heartbroken.

aonb

Dontfadeaway wrote: »

One of my dogs died last week and now another today. Heartbroken.

Two dogs in a week - thats horrendous.

Irish Stones

Dontfadeaway wrote: »

One of my dogs died last week and now another today. Heartbroken.

That is a tragedy!
Were they old? Were they sick?
I would not bear such a pain in my heart, I think I could die after them...

shinny

My Cat of almost 13 years had to be put down today. I'm a little shocked at how hard its hit me. I knew it would be hard but I didn't expect to feel this badly. He was a great little guy and the house feels very empty without him.

Zapperzy

shinny wrote: »

My Cat of almost 13 years had to be put down today. I'm a little shocked at how hard its hit me. I knew it would be hard but I didn't expect to feel this badly. He was a great little guy and the house feels very empty without him.

Sorry to hear that shinny. Nearly 3 months on after having my 9 year old cat put down and the house still feels empty here too, I do still hear little noises that remind me of her and for a split second I forget and expect to see her. Gets easier for it to sink in each time it hits though.

What happened him if you don't mind me asking?

shinny

Zapperzy wrote: »

Sorry to hear that shinny. Nearly 3 months on after having my 9 year old cat put down and the house still feels empty here too, I do still hear little noises that remind me of her and for a split second I forget and expect to see her. Gets easier for it to sink in each time it hits though.

What happened him if you don't mind me asking?

Hi there, it's horrible isn't it? I came back to the house this evening, first time since he was put down, and I was expecting to see him look out the bedroom window like he always would waiting for me to come home. Choked me up when he wasn't there.

He had advanced kidney failure. I only brought him down yesterday and so it was all very quick. No time to really process it I suppose. He wasn't in pain or anything yet but he hasn't been eating and was just not himself. I'd only have been thinking of me not to have him put down. It was a hard decision but ultimately it was about what he needed and not me. Still, it's not easy.

Zapperzy

shinny wrote: »

Hi there, it's horrible isn't it? I came back to the house this evening, first time since he was put down, and I was expecting to see him look out the bedroom window like he always would waiting for me to come home. Choked me up when he wasn't there.

He had advanced kidney failure. I only brought him down yesterday and so it was all very quick. No time to really process it I suppose. He wasn't in pain or anything yet but he hasn't been eating and was just not himself. I'd only have been thinking of me not to have him put down. It was a hard decision but ultimately it was about what he needed and not me. Still, it's not easy.

Mine used to sit and wait on the stairs when I came in the door, horrible feeling when they're not there.

You did what was best and prevented him from suffering. It was one of the hardest decisions I ever made in my case, but it's probably one of the best decisions we can make for them. It's never easy though, for something so small they make a huge impact on us in their short lives.

Gael23

Zapperzy wrote: »

Mine used to sit and wait on the stairs when I came in the door, horrible feeling when they're not there.
.

For me that feeling is only hitting now. Everything happened so fast in the few days before he died that it took a while for it to feel like it was actually happening. For at least a week I was getting those feelings of remembering things he did but he wasn't around anymore. In particular once when I woke up in the middle of the night and I thought I heard him but it was only the wind blowing.
I'll be forever thankful that he died in his own time without us having to make that decision. I know you do it out of total compassion but that's just something means a lot to me.

notfromhere

R.I.P. Tony x

Gael23

Got the ashes back today. It's 4 weeks tomorrow and I was really starting to feel like I was moving on and giving some thought to getting a new dog but now I feel as if I've been hit by a truck all over again

Stinjy

Gael23 wrote: »

Got the ashes back today. It's 4 weeks tomorrow and I was really starting to feel like I was moving on and giving some thought to getting a new dog but now I feel as if I've been hit by a truck all over again

Don't rush it, people move on at different rates. It took my mother two years to move on and she was happier for the waiting because then she was really ready to give our new buddy all the attention and not become bitter or easily irritated at the little things!

Gael23

Stinjy wrote: »

Don't rush it, people move on at different rates. It took my mother two years to move on and she was happier for the waiting because then she was really ready to give our new buddy all the attention and not become bitter or easily irritated at the little things!

Will be a bit closer to the summer I would say. Weather will be better for training and we've been stung by a big Vet bill for him so need to deal with that first . At this point. Missing him is turning to missing having a Dog around if that makes sense

Stinjy

Gael23 wrote: »

Will be a bit closer to the summer I would say. Weather will be better for training and we've been stung by a big Vet bill for him so need to deal with that first . At this point. Missing him is turning to missing having a Dog around if that makes sense

absolutely, when you become used to having four little paws following you and loving you unconditionally its hard to not have it any more. Also the sense of security that it brought (me anyway) especially when i was home on my own .. Well hopefully by summer you'll get your hands on a little bundle of fluff!

Frigga_92

Missing Henry so much lately.
I'm not in a good place in my life and the last time I felt like this I had him. He was my best friend and could make everything better.
Really really missing him.

Look at him - the bestest friend you could wish for.

Gael23

Starting to get that feeling that theres a piece of me missing now. I know thats normal but its only properly hit in the last few days since we got the ashes back, which in a weird sense gives you some comfort knowing that I will always have a bit of him near me. In another way I know now that he's really gone in a physical sense which hits hard too, maybe part of that was brought back by going back into the vets for the first time last Wednesday, I don't know but the last time I was there he was really sick in my arms.
Some days i think I'm ready to work towards getting another one but getting the ashes made me feel I need longer. I know thats such an individual thing, some people say never again and others get one immediately so its whenever you feel ready.
Losing him has easily been one of the weirdest experiences of my life so far. I read posts here all the time but until it happens you have no idea what it feels like. Theres lots of things I take a lot of comfort in, especially in the 3 days before he died but its still not like anything I ever dealt with before

Irish Stones

Gael23 wrote: »

Some days i think I'm ready to work towards getting another one but getting the ashes made me feel I need longer. I know thats such an individual thing, some people say never again and others get one immediately so its whenever you feel ready.
Losing him has easily been one of the weirdest experiences of my life so far. I read posts here all the time but until it happens you have no idea what it feels like. Theres lots of things I take a lot of comfort in, especially in the 3 days before he died but its still not like anything I ever dealt with before

As a person that has experienced this thing more than once I can tell you that there's no way to get used to it. The tenth time can be as painful as the first one.
Getting another friend right now or waiting the time you feel you need is an individual matter.
The fate palys its part too, probably you will encounter your best friend even when you're not looking for it yet, but you won't reject it, you will feel that something new has started, naturally.

Gael23

Today I was searching for something in a drawer of files and before I found what I was looking for I came across his IKC reg papers. Something leaves a lump in the throath.

MonkieSocks

Gael23 wrote: »

Today I was searching for something in a drawer of files and before I found what I was looking for I came across his IKC reg papers. Something leaves a lump in the throath.

At the moment, finding things like that can be Heart-breaking but there will come a time when you will find things that will bring a smile to your face and fill you with pride and joy, when you remember all the fun times you had together.

it does take a while, so don't be too hard on yourself.

Take care.

Socks

Cedrus

Gael23 wrote: »

Today I was searching for something in a drawer of files and before I found what I was looking for I came across his IKC reg papers. Something leaves a lump in the throath.

Eight and a half years on we still have his collar and lead in the cupboard with the "new" dogs stuff.
There is a bone in the shed that I found while transplanting a potted patio plant, OH still isn't ready for that.
Neither of us can yet face the videos but since the clips are jumbled up with "real" family, we will have to sort them one day.

Frigga_92

On this date last year I made the heartbreaking decision to have my beautiful dog, Henry, put to sleep at just 4 years old. It was the hardest decision I've ever made.
I miss him every single day. It's hard not to.
I have 4 other dogs, 2 german shepherds, who were brother and sister to Henry, and 2 miniature dachunds that I got a number of months after I had Henry put to sleep but Henry is that one dog that will always walk beside me.
Those of you who have lost a dog will know what I am talking about. Please don't get me wrong, I love my 4 dogs immensely but Henry was that one dog who will always be with me and never leave my side. The bond I had with him is irreplaceable.

This is the first photo I saw of him - bottom left, closest to the camera.


I brought him home from Warrington by ferry really late on a Sunday night. He was tired after the journey and I carried him into the house, even then I struggled under his weight

I thought the worst day was the day I realised he was sick, the day the vet said there was definitely something wrong but he didn't know what, the day the vet diagnosed him and told me he had a year or less to live but the worst day was deciding to have him put to sleep. The day I had him put to sleep was heartbreaking but it was also peaceful, Henry was at peace, I saw the peace come over him. The worst day was making that decision.

I miss his gorgeous face.

jellybear

I can't believe that's been a year. Time goes far too quickly.

I don't have any words of consolation that will make you feel any better or lessen your pain but I just wanted to let you know I'll be thinking of you today as I'm sure it's going to be very tough.

As a family we've always had pets (14 at the minute, we don't even live on a farm!!) I know only too well how heartbreaking it is to lose one and especially so young. It just seems so, so
unfair. Just know you did the last kind deed you could do for Henry. You gave him that peace you saw come over him. You ended any pain. You were his best friend just as he was yours.

We all have that 'special' pet. The one who never leaves our heart and I know Henry was that for you. I'm so sorry you're still grieving so much. I hope it lessens in time for you. X

Frigga_92

jellybear wrote: »

I can't believe that's been a year. Time goes far too quickly.

I don't have any words of consolation that will make you feel any better or lessen your pain but I just wanted to let you know I'll be thinking of you today as I'm sure it's going to be very tough.

As a family we've always had pets (14 at the minute, we don't even live on a farm!!) I know only too well how heartbreaking it is to lose one and especially so young. It just seems so, so
unfair. Just know you did the last kind deed you could do for Henry. You gave him that peace you saw come over him. You ended any pain. You were his best friend just as he was yours.

We all have that 'special' pet. The one who never leaves our heart and I know Henry was that for you. I'm so sorry you're still grieving so much. I hope it lessens in time for you. X

You know I forget sometimes just how young he was until someone mentions him and his age comes up and they can't hide their shocked reaction.
I had hoped he would grow old, get a grey beard and slow down gradually. It was too sudden for me.

Thanks for your post.