Dumping GF

nesf

simu wrote:

If you were that anti-children, you should have remained celibate or had a vasectomy tbh.

Tbh, that's not really a very poor argument. Having a vasectomy at 17 would be a very silly thing to do. Plus couple that with the totally normal teenage male feeling of superiority syndrome and you will have people ending up in these situations.

The OP should take a few days, if not a week, to just think about this and figure out how he feels about it. It takes time for this kind of news to kick in. It's definitely not the kind of thing where I'd immediately go with your initial reaction.

As in, bluntly, breaking up with her isn't going to get you out of this. If you are the father, and she can prove this if she wants to, regardless of your relationship with the mother you will be stuck with maintanence etc. Time to face reality tbh. Which would you prefer, paying maintanence and never seeing the child or having a part in the child's life? Personally I'd go with the latter. Better value for money and all of that.

My name is Mud

DaveyC wrote:

she told me she didn't like me wearing a condom

DaveyC wrote:

we were going out 2 months

...first off, did either of you two think about getting tested for diseases before going "bareback mountain"?

Secondly, dont swim in the ocean if you aint wearing trunks.

Thirdly, she is pregnant with your child. Running away is exactly the thing NOT to do. Think about the child's life, not yours.

cupsoftea

MrMc wrote:

Buddy...I do have a gf but she knows the score....if she ever gets pregnant we're on the first plane to england to visit a clinic.

I can't belive you are serious. Please tell me you are not.
If you love this girl then keep it in your pants if the alternative is to force her to go through the worst possible emotional procedure.

Talliesin

LundiMardi wrote:

surely to god this is a troll?

Some people really do think the pill is 100% effective.

Some men really do think the world is full of women trying to get pregnant to "trap" men.

He could just be thick, and not a troll.

Still pretty contemptible though.

Scifo wrote:

First off...why is everyone giving this guy such a hard time.

Because he's a contemptible excuse for a human being.

Rogueish

Like it or not you have a responsibility. Dumping her isn't gonna make it any better. But I think that will sink in it's own time.

My sympathies are with the poor girl. She now has to take on a HUGE responsibility at the tender age of 17 (I'm assuming she is 17 - If she's younger I hope your ass ends up in a sling)

For future reference , if any poor eejit of a girl will ever give you a second glance again.

If you are not willing to accept responsibility for the possible repercussions that your actions may have - sex no matter how safe/protected is a process designed for making babies and that there will always be a chance of just that happening -

DON’T DO IT

If you have not got to the stage in a relationship where you can knowledgably discuss all aspects of contraception (the internet is a great educational tool) you are not grown up/mature enough to have a sexual relationship - ASIDE did you ever discuss why she did not like condoms maybe something like a latex allergy

If the girl is not comfortable telling you that she missed/was late taking her pill and that you ain't getting any action for at least a week - then that is a sign that the relationship is severely lacking in COMMUNICATION and that is on both sides

xXxnaoisexXx

Well the one thing you DONT do is leave her that us just selfish!

daiixi

I have a friend who fell pregnant while using condoms and being on the pill to the same guy.. twice.. there are statistics for a reason.

Dumping your gf because she falls pregnant? She deserves better than you.

leeroybrown

DaveyC wrote:

No, i am serious. I am totally astonished that nobody can see my pov. She knew that i didn't want kids, so she told me she didn't like me wearing a condom & she would take the pill. Her problem now, i really do not see why people are so against me including my so called mates

While you may want to wash your hands of responsibility for this child you may end up at the sharp pointy end of a maintenance order.

What I find ironic is that after fathering a child (if the information here is to be believed) the OP's primary concern is how to convince his mates that 'he was right'. Maybe the mother is better off if he stays away from her and the kid...

Metacortex

DaveyC wrote:

Her problem now

Nice.

Shes well rid of you.
The way you have behaved is disgusting.

And for the record, its not just her problem, last time i checked it wasn't possible for a woman to get pregnant on her own.

LundiMardi

daiixi wrote:

I have a friend who fell pregnant while using condoms and being on the pill to the same guy.. twice.. there are statistics for a reason.

Dumping your gf because she falls pregnant? She deserves better than you.

OT for a sec - no offence to your friends, but methinks maybe they didn't know exactly what they were doing with their contraception, falling pregnant once is one thing, twice is very hard to believe that were using what they say they were.

Back on topic >>

Stench Blossoms

Tbh OP she is better off without a person with your kind of attitude.

Nothing is 100% prove, not even the pill.

How old is she?


Oh and why is it only unregistered users who are agreeing with the OP?

Funky

orla wrote:

Oh and why is it only unregistered users who are agreeing with the OP?

Because from the responses here most of you would start frothing at the mouth at them. It's alot easier to jump on the witch-hunt bandwagon than to try console the guy or offer advice more constructive than "UR AN ASSHOLE!!¬!¬!".

The OP acted hastily and harshly but the fault seems to be more on the girl than him. Yes he should try work it out with her and decide what they want to do about it, but at the same time why would he want to continue a relationship with her if she lied to him about the pill(I know he/we don't know this but it's a distinct possibility). That said, flatly saying "it's her problem now" isn't the way to go.

LundiMardi

Funky wrote:

Because from the responses here most of you would start frothing at the mouth at them. It's alot easier to jump on the witch-hunt bandwagon than to try console the guy or offer advice more constructive than "UR AN ASSHOLE!!¬!¬!".

The OP acted hastily and harshly but the fault seems to be more on the girl than him. Yes he should try work it out with her and decide what they want to do about it, but at the same time why would he want to continue a relationship with her if she lied to him about the pill(I know he/we don't know this but it's a distinct possibility). That said, flatly saying "it's her problem now" isn't the way to go.

who said she lied about being on the pill? What exactly are you ****ing on about?

Funky

Did you even read my post before replying?

She said she was on the pill, she got pregnant so there's a (good?) chance she wasn't. I know it's not fool-proof but it's pretty good.

That's pretty much what I'm "****ing on about".

LundiMardi

Funky wrote:

Did you even read my post before replying?

She said she was on the pill, she got pregnant so there's a (good?) chance she wasn't. I know it's not fool-proof but it's pretty good.

That's pretty much what I'm "****ing on about".

So what you're doing is talking out of your ass? that's what i thought.

The OP has said she was taking the pill, even he hasn't accused her of lying (that we know of) and she's not here to defend herself. So what you're assuming bares no relevance to the topic at hand.

secret_squirrel

Funky wrote:

She said she was on the pill, she got pregnant so there's a (good?) chance she wasn't.

Utter crap - unless you personally know the woman there's absolutely no way you can even guess the likelyhood that she was on the pill or not. Given that we'll more than likely never find out why dont you leave off the muppetous speculation? Its not helpful.

A more helpful option might have been to suggest the range of possibilities that could lead to a woman getting pregnant whilst on the pill - of which lying about it is just one of many.

For example - taking antibiotics, or other medication.

But no that would have taken some effort on your part wouldnt it :rolleyes:


@OP you are behaving in a way that suggests you dont have the maturity to handle a sexual relationship. I suggest you grow up fast.

Fortunately having a child (or even just supporting one) will force that on you as fast as you deserve.

I suggest you try to re-establish some kind of relationship with the girl ASAP, before the law forces one on you.

Funky

Now she has always told me that she was on the pill.

Sound convincing?
Thanks for your opinion though

secret_squirrel wrote:

Given that we'll more than likely never find out why dont you leave off the muppetous speculation? Its not helpful.

Given all the information we have, speculation is about all we have no?

LundiMardi

Funky wrote:

Sound convincing?
Thanks for your opinion though



Given all the information we have, speculation is about all we have no?

Ah, so she admits she has always been on the pill. Very clever of you to point that out:rolleyes:. You're basing your dumbass assumption on the OP's dumbass assumption. How very bright of you.

Funky

Guess I should have either posted anon or attacked the guy, my bad.

LundiMardi

Or just not posted full stop.

Funky

So explain to me, without attacking me (from reading most of your posts I'm not sure this is possible), how taking into consideration that the girls word may NOT be perfectly true is dumber than blindly accepting that she is telling the truth?

For someone who seems to post on a PI board quite alot you don't seem to be in the slightest helpful to anyone other than calling them dumbasses, saying "How very bright of you", and LOLROLLSEYESing excessively.

chump

You get used to that sort of stuff around here Funky :eek:

esp. :rolleyes: , it's an old favourite

daiixi

LundiMardi wrote:

OT for a sec - no offence to your friends, but methinks maybe they didn't know exactly what they were doing with their contraception, falling pregnant once is one thing, twice is very hard to believe that were using what they say they were.

Back on topic >>

OT follow up: First time it happens everyone assumes you're the unlucky .3%.. second time you find out that the pill actually wasn't stopping her from ovulating and that she's a very fertile lady. In a relationship spanning a couple of years the liklihood of condom failure, due to any number of factors, does exist. There are statistics for a reason and some people are simply unlucky.

Back on topic... I don't understand why, if a man will dump his gf for "falling pregant on the pill", the man in question doesn't use condoms and spermicide? Men can take an active role in contraception too.

kittenkiller

If you're the one who's so anti-having children at such an early age with this girl hten the responsibility of contraception lies with you.
If she says she doesn't like sex with condoms you should've said that you prefer the security of them & won't have sex without.
You could understand if the two of you had been together a long time & you trusted her fully that you might discuss the pros & cons of other methods of contraception, but 2 months is no time!

You made your bed through bad decisions & irresponsible actions, lie in it, deal with it & grow up!

Taken correctly the pill is more effective than condoms when used correctly but at least with a condom you don't have to wait til it's too late to realise that something's gone wrong!

Sony

Poor fella-am I right youre 17?

As crap as you must feel you need to realise also what you are considering to do - dumping your g/f....whether you do or not is neither here nor there - but you HAVE to come round to realising the right thing to do davey and thats supporting YOUR child

It must be devastating for you but its not the end of the world - even if you stop going out with your g/f , be a man-take responsibility and prepare yourself to do your best for the newcomer...if she decides to keep it and you dont at least support the baby Im afraid you've every right to feel ashamed of yourself-whats happened is done now and at this moment in time you shouldnt be concerned about how it happened , so do yourself and everyone else a favour and do the decent thing


best of luck

uzami

Something similar happened to myself.

My ex-GF became pregnant whilst on the pill. Now it was only a short-term relationship at the time and after taking some time to think it through I felt that the best course of action was to finish with her.

Reasons being that I felt that we did not have the right connection to sustian a long-term relationship and any pretence of remaining a couple to address the pregnancy was false and likely to cause even more problems at a later date as it would muddy the waters and the decision making process.

However, this was balanced with an offer that no matter what course of action she decided to take it would be fully supported by myself.

This is the important thing. You can finish with her, that is your perogative, but you cannot deny the pregnancy and the fact that she may choose to have your child. if you start creating an antagonistic environment now, it will only come back to haunt you in a myriad of ways in later years.

I took an inordinate amount of grief and stick over the months whilst she was pregnant. (she decided she wanted to keep the baby). I said to all and sundry that what i would do is take responsibilty and enter into a shared parenting arrangement. Of course this was dismissed as bullSh*t by all the commentators, and they proceeded to pour more scorn on me and my actions.

This was all eight years ago now, and my actions thereafter have no relevance to this post as that was a personal choice, BUT you have to accept that you have the right to finish the relationship, but you may have to deal with the consequences of the relationship for the rest of your life and the sooner you start trying to process that information and accepting that by dumping her you aren't getting rid of her and/or the child, the better for all.

Talliesin

uzami wrote:

My ex-GF became pregnant whilst on the pill. Now it was only a short-term relationship at the time and after taking some time to think it through I felt that the best course of action was to finish with her.

Reasons being that I felt that we did not have the right connection to sustian a long-term relationship and any pretence of remaining a couple to address the pregnancy was false and likely to cause even more problems at a later date as it would muddy the waters and the decision making process.

Probably the best decision. Of course "finishing with" someone is different to "dumping" them.

Agent S

OMG :eek: I'm disgusted! Not every girl out there that falls pregnant 'unexpectedly' has done so in order to trap you! Christ, if you're such a catch for her to tie-down, why aren't you facing up to what YOU HAVE ALSO DONE?!!! You are a complete prat, and one day you will realise what you have done.

Victor

Agent S wrote:

You are a complete prat

I've issued a warning already.

Banned for a week.

Sifo

personally OP your girlfriend (or ex) might be better off without you tbh.

How can you justify leaving this girl to go through this alone? I take it your quite young and you still have a bit of growing up to do. There is plenty of support out there so there's no need to duck and run. If you do, you'll regret it for the rest of your life and your child who you abandoned might never forgive you, trust me.