Dumping GF

LegacyUser

Guys, Basically i don't really know how to put this, am new to this forum. My Gf got pregnant and informed me last week. NOw she has always told me that she was on the pill. Naturally i dumped her when i told her. Now all my mates are giving me a hard time. I was just wondering what i should do to make them see my point of view.

Seraphina

you wont make them see your point of view, they're right to give you a hard time, you're an insensitive prick. she probably was on the pill, i doubt she ever wanted to, or planned on being pregnant. you just acted like an asshole. its partly you're fault too, were you not using condoms??
if you think you're mature enough to be having sex you should be dealing with the consequences too, not dumping your GF and running away.

elliebn

I'm not sure from your post if you think your girlfriend somehow tricked you into getting her pregnant. It is still possible to get pregnant while on the pill.

DaveyC

DaveyC wrote:

Guys, Basically i don't really know how to put this, am new to this forum. My Gf got pregnant and informed me last week. NOw she has always told me that she was on the pill. Naturally i dumped her when i told her. Now all my mates are giving me a hard time. I was just wondering what i should do to make them see my point of view.

You're an idiot. They won't see your point of view because you're lazy and selfish. You slept with her, deal with it instead of running away.
The pill is not 100% effective. Contraception is not only her responsibility, it's yours as well.

Tim06

what should you do to make them see your point of view? maybe hold a gun to their head. Unbelieveable i cannot believe you had the cheek to post that point of view here. How long were you with her btw? Not that it really matters, i hope she screws you with maintaince

LegacyUser

DaveyC wrote:

Guys, Basically i don't really know how to put this, am new to this forum. My Gf got pregnant and informed me last week. NOw she has always told me that she was on the pill. Naturally i dumped her when i told her. Now all my mates are giving me a hard time. I was just wondering what i should do to make them see my point of view.

Mate...I assume you made it clear from the start that you didn't want kids. If that was the case you're dead right to dump her. There's way too many women out there getting pregnant and trying to tie guys down.

Be strong and ignore what your mates are saying...its none of their business.

justsomebloke

ye i think you came to the worng place looking for people to show you compassion. Your just another a$$hole who doesn't have the balls to take responibilty for what you did. The only good thing i can say if that at least you seem to have some friends you have morals, shame none of it rubbed off on you

LundiMardi

surely to god this is a troll?

LundiMardi

LundiMardi wrote:

surely to god this is a troll?

Yeah, hopefully

roughan

plastic surgery brazil ??

MonkeyWrench

No offence man but you are a dumbass. what an insensitive assh()le! it sounds like you did not even stop for one minute to think of how she feels about the whole thing and just dumped her at the drop of a hat. you need to stop blaming her for getting pregnant and take responsibility for your own actions and most importantly of all look ahead and plan how ye are going to take care of this baby..

LegacyUser

LundiMardi wrote:

surely to god this is a troll?

No, i am serious. I am totally astonished that nobody can see my pov. She knew that i didn't want kids, so she told me she didn't like me wearing a condom & she would take the pill. Her problem now, i really do not see why people are so against me including my so called mates

Zulu

Seraphina wrote:

...you're an insensitive prick.... you just acted like an asshole. its partly you're fault too, were you not using condoms?

Funny, in another thread you were all about not jumping to conclusions Seraphina, perhaps they never had sex and thats why he dumped her? <just throwing that out there>
You wouldn't have a bias for girls now would you?

...how and ever, this is most likely a troll, so to the OP I say - you're a spanner, regardless.

LegacyUser

jsb wrote:

ye i think you came to the worng place looking for people to show you compassion. Your just another a$$hole who doesn't have the balls to take responibilty for what you did. The only good thing i can say if that at least you seem to have some friends you have morals, shame none of it rubbed off on you

First off...why is everyone giving this guy such a hard time....he's obviously got some shocking news and he's panicked and dumped his girlfriend.

we don't know anything about him...age, religious background etc .....maybe he's just scared and looking for some advice and instead everyone is giving him....then again maybe he is just another insensitive idiot.

So original poster...give us some more details (how long you going out, ages etc etc) before we can pass comment on you situation

LegacyUser

Scifo wrote:

First off...why is everyone giving this guy such a hard time....he's obviously got some shocking news and he's panicked and dumped his girlfriend.

we don't know anything about him...age, religious background etc .....maybe he's just scared and looking for some advice and instead everyone is giving him....then again maybe he is just another insensitive idiot.

So original poster...give us some more details (how long you going out, ages etc etc) before we can pass comment on you situation

i'm 17, dont really see what thats got to do with it. we were going out 2 months. i dont think that i have paniked.

simu

DaveyC wrote:

No, i am serious. I am totally astonished that nobody can see my pov. She knew that i didn't want kids, so she told me she didn't like me wearing a condom & she would take the pill. Her problem now, i really do not see why people are so against me including my so called mates

Nobody wants a Spanish inquisition! As in - reality check - not wanting something to have happened doesn't make it go away. Maybe you could persuade her to have an abortion or something but if she's against it, there's nothing you can do. If you were that anti-children, you should have remained celibate or had a vasectomy tbh.

justsomebloke

Scifo wrote:

maybe he's just scared and looking for some advice and

as he has stated he is only looking for advise on how to convince people that dumping his girlfriend was the correct thing to do. He hasn't mentioned anything about having panicked and looking for advice about what he should do to be a father to the child he will have even if he isn't in a relation ship with her. In fact all he had to say was

DAVEYC wrote:

Her problem now

chump

Buddy it is possible that your gf set out to trap you by getting pregnant.
I'd look into it. One should always be a little suspicious of women.

LundiMardi

Scifo wrote:

First off...why is everyone giving this guy such a hard time....he's obviously got some shocking news and he's panicked and dumped his girlfriend.

we don't know anything about him...age, religious background etc .....maybe he's just scared and looking for some advice and instead everyone is giving him....then again maybe he is just another insensitive idiot.

So original poster...give us some more details (how long you going out, ages etc etc) before we can pass comment on you situation

if you're soo quick to support his decision why not post under your actual boards name?:rolleyes:

OP - You aren't the brightest star in the sky by any means, the pill is not 100% effective, i believe even you would know that, so why are you soo surprised?

To be honest, i recommend having nothing to do with the child (other than monetary contributions). The child will be better off without someone like you as their father.

Tim06

MrMc wrote:

Mate...I assume you made it clear from the start that you didn't want kids. If that was the case you're dead right to dump her. There's way too many women out there getting pregnant and trying to tie guys down.

Be strong and ignore what your mates are saying...its none of their business.

Some good advice there MrMc. I hope you don't have a gf or god help her if you do

simu

chump wrote:

Buddy it is possible that your gf set out to trap you by getting pregnant.
I'd look into it. One should always be a little suspicious of women.

Evil, I tells you they are. :rolleyes:

dudara

There is a strong possibility that you can get pregnant on the pill, if you do not take it according to the instructions.

Yes you panicked, but you really have also acted in terrible fashion. Talk to her. Find out if this was intentional or a genuine accident, before you make any more crass decisions.

White Rabbit

DaveyC wrote:

Her problem now, i really do not see why people are so against me including my so called mates

Her problem? The support payments for the next 18-19 years are your problem.

LegacyUser

Scifo wrote:

he's obviously got some shocking news and he's panicked and dumped his girlfriend.

This is true. His original post was just over 4 lines, we are missing most of the story here. He is most likely feeling cheated right now, he had explained to her that he doesn't want to have children. I can understand the reaction even if it a nasty thing to do.

Scifo wrote:

So original poster...give us some more details (how long you going out, ages etc etc) before we can pass comment on you situation

Scifo is right again, more info is needed here. how old are you both?
I don't mean this to sound patronizing, but has she taken a proper test to confirm the pregnancy? The reason why your friends are reacting like this is because they can see how badly you are treating this girl.

Haven't you thought that she is also finding this hard to accept? and now her boyfriend has done a runner. If she is fact, definitely pregnant, I think you should re-open the lines of communication before you lose your friends, girlfriend and this baby.

Fear can make you do crazy things, but it is for the best if you start to process all of this in your head and start thinking rationally.

LundiMardi

White Rabbit wrote:

Her problem? The support payments for the next 18-19 years are your problem.

persactly, OP - you're in for a rude awakening.. heh heh. You'll only be earning 50% of your salary from now on;)

Victor

Seraphina wrote:

you wont make them see your point of view, they're right to give you a hard time, you're an insensitive prick. she probably was on the pill, i doubt she ever wanted to, or planned on being pregnant. you just acted like an asshole. its partly you're fault too, were you not using condoms??
if you think you're mature enough to be having sex you should be dealing with the consequences too, not dumping your GF and running away.

Harsh but true.

Mod Warning: Put the keyboard down and stand away from the bandwagon.

justsomebloke

OP as you are just 17 what have your parents said about it, do they agree that you have run out on the mother of their grand child or have you not told them yet

Tim06

DaveyC wrote:

i'm 17, dont really see what thats got to do with it. we were going out 2 months. i dont think that i have paniked.

I dont want to sound patronising now but have you talked to an adult about it? I think that you really should. You probably feel your world has caved in at the moment & are just angry and upset.

LegacyUser

LundiMardi wrote:

persactly, OP - you're in for a rude awakening.. heh heh. You'll only be earning 50% of your salary from now on;)

What are you two at! the guy is obviously scared out of his wits, and finding this all hard enough to deal with. He hasn't even reached step one yet, and you are smother him with this stuff.

I have children myself. The father reacted badly to it (although it was he who suggested the family start in the first place) but when our first son was born he was overwhelmed by love for him. Not only that, but he would happily give the boy anything he had. We now have a second son, and he is smitten with them both. Both of your comments are extremely unhelpful to the OP at this particular time. Come on lads, leave the jokes aside for now.

LegacyUser

Tim06 wrote:

Some good advice there MrMc. I hope you don't have a gf or god help her if you do

Buddy...I do have a gf but she knows the score....if she ever gets pregnant we're on the first plane to england to visit a clinic.

Patricide

Dude seriously, I know youve only been going out for 2 months and you feel like its not your problem but if you were so worried about it in the first place you would have worn a condom or looked into facts about the pill.I know it sucks major testcles, the situation your in but its as much your responcibility as hers.It takes two people ya know.

nesf

simu wrote:

If you were that anti-children, you should have remained celibate or had a vasectomy tbh.

Tbh, that's not really a very poor argument. Having a vasectomy at 17 would be a very silly thing to do. Plus couple that with the totally normal teenage male feeling of superiority syndrome and you will have people ending up in these situations.

The OP should take a few days, if not a week, to just think about this and figure out how he feels about it. It takes time for this kind of news to kick in. It's definitely not the kind of thing where I'd immediately go with your initial reaction.

As in, bluntly, breaking up with her isn't going to get you out of this. If you are the father, and she can prove this if she wants to, regardless of your relationship with the mother you will be stuck with maintanence etc. Time to face reality tbh. Which would you prefer, paying maintanence and never seeing the child or having a part in the child's life? Personally I'd go with the latter. Better value for money and all of that.

My name is Mud

DaveyC wrote:

she told me she didn't like me wearing a condom

DaveyC wrote:

we were going out 2 months

...first off, did either of you two think about getting tested for diseases before going "bareback mountain"?

Secondly, dont swim in the ocean if you aint wearing trunks.

Thirdly, she is pregnant with your child. Running away is exactly the thing NOT to do. Think about the child's life, not yours.

cupsoftea

MrMc wrote:

Buddy...I do have a gf but she knows the score....if she ever gets pregnant we're on the first plane to england to visit a clinic.

I can't belive you are serious. Please tell me you are not.
If you love this girl then keep it in your pants if the alternative is to force her to go through the worst possible emotional procedure.

Talliesin

LundiMardi wrote:

surely to god this is a troll?

Some people really do think the pill is 100% effective.

Some men really do think the world is full of women trying to get pregnant to "trap" men.

He could just be thick, and not a troll.

Still pretty contemptible though.

Scifo wrote:

First off...why is everyone giving this guy such a hard time.

Because he's a contemptible excuse for a human being.

Rogueish

Like it or not you have a responsibility. Dumping her isn't gonna make it any better. But I think that will sink in it's own time.

My sympathies are with the poor girl. She now has to take on a HUGE responsibility at the tender age of 17 (I'm assuming she is 17 - If she's younger I hope your ass ends up in a sling)

For future reference , if any poor eejit of a girl will ever give you a second glance again.

If you are not willing to accept responsibility for the possible repercussions that your actions may have - sex no matter how safe/protected is a process designed for making babies and that there will always be a chance of just that happening -

DON’T DO IT

If you have not got to the stage in a relationship where you can knowledgably discuss all aspects of contraception (the internet is a great educational tool) you are not grown up/mature enough to have a sexual relationship - ASIDE did you ever discuss why she did not like condoms maybe something like a latex allergy

If the girl is not comfortable telling you that she missed/was late taking her pill and that you ain't getting any action for at least a week - then that is a sign that the relationship is severely lacking in COMMUNICATION and that is on both sides

xXxnaoisexXx

Well the one thing you DONT do is leave her that us just selfish!

daiixi

I have a friend who fell pregnant while using condoms and being on the pill to the same guy.. twice.. there are statistics for a reason.

Dumping your gf because she falls pregnant? She deserves better than you.

leeroybrown

DaveyC wrote:

No, i am serious. I am totally astonished that nobody can see my pov. She knew that i didn't want kids, so she told me she didn't like me wearing a condom & she would take the pill. Her problem now, i really do not see why people are so against me including my so called mates

While you may want to wash your hands of responsibility for this child you may end up at the sharp pointy end of a maintenance order.

What I find ironic is that after fathering a child (if the information here is to be believed) the OP's primary concern is how to convince his mates that 'he was right'. Maybe the mother is better off if he stays away from her and the kid...

Metacortex

DaveyC wrote:

Her problem now

Nice.

Shes well rid of you.
The way you have behaved is disgusting.

And for the record, its not just her problem, last time i checked it wasn't possible for a woman to get pregnant on her own.

LundiMardi

daiixi wrote:

I have a friend who fell pregnant while using condoms and being on the pill to the same guy.. twice.. there are statistics for a reason.

Dumping your gf because she falls pregnant? She deserves better than you.

OT for a sec - no offence to your friends, but methinks maybe they didn't know exactly what they were doing with their contraception, falling pregnant once is one thing, twice is very hard to believe that were using what they say they were.

Back on topic >>

Stench Blossoms

Tbh OP she is better off without a person with your kind of attitude.

Nothing is 100% prove, not even the pill.

How old is she?


Oh and why is it only unregistered users who are agreeing with the OP?

Funky

orla wrote:

Oh and why is it only unregistered users who are agreeing with the OP?

Because from the responses here most of you would start frothing at the mouth at them. It's alot easier to jump on the witch-hunt bandwagon than to try console the guy or offer advice more constructive than "UR AN ASSHOLE!!¬!¬!".

The OP acted hastily and harshly but the fault seems to be more on the girl than him. Yes he should try work it out with her and decide what they want to do about it, but at the same time why would he want to continue a relationship with her if she lied to him about the pill(I know he/we don't know this but it's a distinct possibility). That said, flatly saying "it's her problem now" isn't the way to go.

LundiMardi

Funky wrote:

Because from the responses here most of you would start frothing at the mouth at them. It's alot easier to jump on the witch-hunt bandwagon than to try console the guy or offer advice more constructive than "UR AN ASSHOLE!!¬!¬!".

The OP acted hastily and harshly but the fault seems to be more on the girl than him. Yes he should try work it out with her and decide what they want to do about it, but at the same time why would he want to continue a relationship with her if she lied to him about the pill(I know he/we don't know this but it's a distinct possibility). That said, flatly saying "it's her problem now" isn't the way to go.

who said she lied about being on the pill? What exactly are you ****ing on about?

Funky

Did you even read my post before replying?

She said she was on the pill, she got pregnant so there's a (good?) chance she wasn't. I know it's not fool-proof but it's pretty good.

That's pretty much what I'm "****ing on about".

LundiMardi

Funky wrote:

Did you even read my post before replying?

She said she was on the pill, she got pregnant so there's a (good?) chance she wasn't. I know it's not fool-proof but it's pretty good.

That's pretty much what I'm "****ing on about".

So what you're doing is talking out of your ass? that's what i thought.

The OP has said she was taking the pill, even he hasn't accused her of lying (that we know of) and she's not here to defend herself. So what you're assuming bares no relevance to the topic at hand.

secret_squirrel

Funky wrote:

She said she was on the pill, she got pregnant so there's a (good?) chance she wasn't.

Utter crap - unless you personally know the woman there's absolutely no way you can even guess the likelyhood that she was on the pill or not. Given that we'll more than likely never find out why dont you leave off the muppetous speculation? Its not helpful.

A more helpful option might have been to suggest the range of possibilities that could lead to a woman getting pregnant whilst on the pill - of which lying about it is just one of many.

For example - taking antibiotics, or other medication.

But no that would have taken some effort on your part wouldnt it :rolleyes:


@OP you are behaving in a way that suggests you dont have the maturity to handle a sexual relationship. I suggest you grow up fast.

Fortunately having a child (or even just supporting one) will force that on you as fast as you deserve.

I suggest you try to re-establish some kind of relationship with the girl ASAP, before the law forces one on you.

Funky

Now she has always told me that she was on the pill.

Sound convincing?
Thanks for your opinion though

secret_squirrel wrote:

Given that we'll more than likely never find out why dont you leave off the muppetous speculation? Its not helpful.

Given all the information we have, speculation is about all we have no?

LundiMardi

Funky wrote:

Sound convincing?
Thanks for your opinion though



Given all the information we have, speculation is about all we have no?

Ah, so she admits she has always been on the pill. Very clever of you to point that out:rolleyes:. You're basing your dumbass assumption on the OP's dumbass assumption. How very bright of you.

Funky

Guess I should have either posted anon or attacked the guy, my bad.

LundiMardi

Or just not posted full stop.