do you look at porn?

Memnoch

I'm not sure if it belongs on this board but couldn't think of anywhere else to put it.

Anyways had a stupid arguement with my gf about it so i'm wondering...

HOw often do u guys look at porn?
Do any guys who have gf's ever look at porn? DO ur gf's mind?
Do any girls look at porn?
Do any girls that are in a relationship look at porn? Do ur partner's mind?

How do girls feel about their boyfriends occasionaly/rarely looking at porn, provided their bf's still fancied them a lot and shagged them on a regular basis?

Just trying to get some honest info here for a prob of mine cause i'm kinda confused....
be nice pls :P

p.s. really looking for input from girls here aswell

Typedef

Originally posted by Memnoch

How do girls feel about their boyfriends occasionaly/rarely looking at porn, provided their bf's still fancied them a lot and shagged them on a regular basis?

Girls look at porn too...

Besides, how do men feel when they see their girlfriend drooling over some himbo on TV?

Quid pro quo. Give up the himbos and we'll give up the porn.[1]


[1] Lie

Memnoch

pardon me ignorance but whats a himbo?

Typedef

Bimbo : Silicon chick

Himbo : (Shurg) TV types women drool over. I dunno, some of the guys, girlfriends of mine lust after from the TV are pretty damn unattractive in my book.... but, still, no accounting for a complete lack of taste on that front.

Himbo : Prince what's his face in England.
Himbo : Justin Timber_what's_name
Himbo : Westlife (especially the fat one)

You know.. general public eye male moron, lust figures of varying degrees of (a) actual attractiveness (b) heterosexuality (which doesn't stop throngs of girlies fancying them... aka Stephen Gately) (c) Intelligence (d) Ability to walk without dragging knuckles along the ground (Robbie Williams).

Himbo.

[Back on topic]

Yes I look at occasional porn.
In fact, I'd say most women look at either (a) porn or (b) boybands for the same effect.

Quite a few couples look at porn too I'd suspect. There's nothing wrong with looking at porn... but, of course the pron industry is predicated on all sorts of exploitative methods, so I suppose upon analysis.. watching porn is probably immoral.

Memnoch

cool thanks for explaining the lingo, come on peeps if ur reading the thread post ur opinion pls
especially u girls i know ur out there

skipn_easy

girls do look at porn also, why wouldn't they? I wouldn't have a problem if a bf of mine was looking at porn as long as its not ALL the time. I'd probably look with him

Memnoch

my gf is of the opinion that if i look at porn then she should be allowed to flirt with guys online and cyber with them. Maybe I'm being obtuse as a guy or something.. but the two just don't seem to correlate here.

I mean I don't mind if she looked at porn or whatever, i'd think it was cool... anyways...

I welcome more comments and continued enlightenment on this issue pls

skipn_easy

yea, i don't really think cybering with guys online is comparative to looking at porn. I wouldn't be ok with that, but if thats the way she thinks than i guess you'll have to come up with a compromise where you're both happy and comfortable with the situation.

Typedef

Originally posted by Memnoch
my gf is of the opinion that if i look at porn then she should be allowed to flirt with guys online and cyber with them.

Boy are you getting hosed!

Memnoch

Originally posted by Typedef
Boy are you getting hosed!

heh its not like that
She is a really cool girl and we get along great, but she is very possessive and can get kinda jealous, so we have hit a little snag on this issue. I'm just trying to see if looking at porn is as evil in the opinions of all women as she makes it out to be etc. Tbh I don't mind giving up looking at porn, its not something I do very often, maybe once a week for a short while. I dunno its strange, even when I'm having sex on a regular basis, I sometimes get the urge to look at porn... kinda wierd I guess.

bugler

No it isn't. Just because you're having sex with person A doesn't mean you should not want to stop looking at pictures/videos of various other unattainable persons.

Your girlfriend is going to boil your bunny.

Memnoch

sorry agian but whats "boil ur bunny" ?

skittishkitten

Yessssssss , Girls look at porn , at least those with high sex drives do

There is nothing wrong with watching / looking at porn as long as your not doing it constantly or wanting us to look like "them" .

Mercury_Tilt

This post has been deleted.

Fry

well it think all girls love soft-porn, its was they cant c that turns them on. Guys have to see the hard-stuff really...
Thats why they love all that romantic sh/te....:D

sceptre

Originally posted by Memnoch
sorry agian but whats "boil ur bunny" ?

Go watch Fatal Attraction.

Mercury_Tilt

This post has been deleted.

Memnoch

Memnoch's GF here... my take on this....

well the way I see it... my b/f is looking at pics of porn stars... whom he fancies at some level... and I'm often solicited to give my opinion about them as well!

As I see it...there are girls out there whom he finds attractive...a lot of the time when I'm asleep I see him drooling over the pics of these ladies...why can't I find other fellows attractive too and act on it like he does. The only difference is I'm not really into looking at porn because it basically treats people like objects...which turns me off every time. I have to know SOMETHING about a guy before I can find him the least bit attractive...something that can only happen if I actually TALK to this guy...cyber with him I guess.

If guys can fantasize about girls other than their g/f...I guess girls should be allowed to do the same...its not your fault if a guy has to have some kind of intelligence to turn you on...as opposed to being a face and a body in an artificially contrived pose on a screen!!

And very very importantly... fidelity is important to me too... i wouldn't ever cheat on my b/f in real life..ever

Memnoch's GF (Anonymous)

bugler

Fair enough, but I think you need to understand that this interaction with other guys is a lot more 'serious' than your boyf's looking at mere pictures. If you're allowed to talk/cyber with other guys online, you're a hypocrite for not allowing him to do the same in my opinion. Can't be having double standards in a relationship, leads to all sorts of trouble. Mild trouble here...but you could extend it to "well I should be allowed to go with other guys/girls occasionally because my sex drive is really high and I get bored, but my girlf/boyf can't because (s)he doesn't have a high drive and is happy with one person alone".

Memnoch

Originally posted by Memnoch
Memnoch's GF here... my take on this....

well the way I see it... my b/f is looking at pics of porn stars... whom he fancies at some level... and I'm often solicited to give my opinion about them as well!

As I see it...there are girls out there whom he finds attractive...a lot of the time when I'm asleep I see him drooling over the pics of these ladies...why can't I find other fellows attractive too and act on it like he does. The only difference is I'm not really into looking at porn because it basically treats people like objects...which turns me off every time. I have to know SOMETHING about a guy before I can find him the least bit attractive...something that can only happen if I actually TALK to this guy...cyber with him I guess.

If guys can fantasize about girls other than their g/f...I guess girls should be allowed to do the same...its not your fault if a guy has to have some kind of intelligence to turn you on...as opposed to being a face and a body in an artificially contrived pose on a screen!!

And very very importantly... fidelity is important to me too... i wouldn't ever cheat on my b/f in real life..ever

Memnoch's GF (Anonymous)

boy it feels wierd to be quoting my own post, though since my gf typed it using my login it isn't really my post

Anyways.. I just wanted to clarify one or two things in regards to what she said.

The only reason I ask for her opinion and stuff in regards to porn is because its not something I consider should be behind her back or anything (since i know she's against it, and I didn't agree with her take on it). I wanted to try and involve her and be open about it.

I don't see how she can say that its okay to cyber online with guys but that fidelity is important to her. That seems like a contradiction and a paradox. Maybe some ladies out there reading this can translate that for me and tell me how cybering is the same as looking at porn?

P.s. just tell me what "boil ur bunny" means? I cba watching fatal attraction.

Memnoch

Originally posted by bugler
Fair enough, but I think you need to understand that this interaction with other guys is a lot more 'serious' than your boyf's looking at mere pictures. If you're allowed to talk/cyber with other guys online, you're a hypocrite for not allowing him to do the same in my opinion. Can't be having double standards in a relationship, leads to all sorts of trouble. Mild trouble here...but you could extend it to "well I should be allowed to go with other guys/girls occasionally because my sex drive is really high and I get bored, but my girlf/boyf can't because (s)he doesn't have a high drive and is happy with one person alone".

i think u might have gotten a bit confused there. Basically she doesn't consider cybering to be cheating, and she is okay with me cybering with girls as well. But personally I'm not okay with it, because I do think that cybering is cheating, since its more "serious" as you pointed out and not really like porn which is different.

I think u have to draw the line somewhere, and I think that line stops where another person becomes involved such as cybering or flirting with someone else.

Victor

This was going to happen sooner or later so check this out.

bugler

Ah I see. The way one of your initial posts was phrased it seemed that she was saying that for you to watch porn she'd have to be able to cyber, and they were directly linked.

In that case I think it's even clearer cut. If you're not comfortable with her cybering then you have to say so, and if you feel strongly enough about it then request that it stops. Unfortunately this can also be applied in reverse...and if she feels the same way bout porn then she should do the same. But it seems she doesn't actually have too much of a problem with it...so you should not be robbed of your god-given right as a man to love the porn.

This is a perfect example of too much communication in a relationship. You could both have gone behind eac others backs and things would be fine

And basically the rabbit gets boiled by the psycho obsessive lady, which was the reason I made the jest when you suggested your girlf was possessive/jealous.

skittishkitten

I'm surprised that your girlfriend see's cybering as OK and porn as bad. Personally I would be hurt if the person I was involved with emotionally would be wanting to cyber other people , I would hope that he would not want me to do so either. I've cybered people and have made some great friends doing so but I also tend to get emotionally attached to them. Funny thing is over the years I have basically stopped cybering as I would not want the one I'm emotionally involved with to feel that I have "cheated" on him. A couple of my "cyber regulars" have become great friends , we laugh , we talk , we tease but we no longer cyber , it's pretty much a mutual decision as they now have lady friends that they do not want to hurt , just as I dont want to offer hurt the man I'm attached to . To me those that cyber are seeking satisfaction on an emotional level.

Porn is not interacting with other people , if anything it is merely a means to seeking relief . It's fun to watch and can offer some great instruction for interesting things to try. As long as you don't get to attached to your hand , or push your girl to far with "trying things" you have seen , then where is the harm ? Personally I HATE soft porn , I probably have a hardcore collection that would put most guys porn collection to shame.

Oh and Merc ( and that is Merc only ).....if you need links to free porn sites I know of at least three Drop me a line I can send them your way Their updated daily

skipn_easy

I don't think his gf thinks cybering is ok and porn is bad, its more a case of if porn is ok, then so is cybering - shes lumping the two in the same bracket.

I'd agree with bugler, and just tell each other what you're not comfortable with.

karma kabbage

I would have thought that the argument that 'if you can do THAT, then I can do THIS' is something irrelevant. Would the gf in question want to do the cybering at all if it were not for the fact that she is upset (on some level) that her bf is looking at other women (i assume women)?!

Personally I wouldn't have a problem with it as I see it as harmless and if there is porn goin' I'm game to watch too, I also reckon cybering is crossing another line. But this girl clearly does!

I think if my bf had issues with me & porn I would question why he is so insecure and perhaps if he REALLY doesn't wanna join in and he meant THAT much to me, maybe I'd cut down or (dare I say it) quit!!! But then I'm not in that situ!

sReq | uTeK

Firstly I would like to start with thanks bit to **** for the single life after being tied down for 2 years its great to not have to deal with the little but incessive arguments like these

on a side note

girls do look at porn also, why wouldn't they? I wouldn't have a problem if a bf of mine was looking at porn as long as its not ALL the time. I'd probably look with him

^^will you marry me please

Basically I say get a divorce nah seriously it is a trivial argument which could have been resolved easily ie both of you should have hushed there is times when silence is always the best option


As to paying for a porn site lmfao @ that bs if you want me to set you up with a few porn sites user/password as well then no worries but you really need dsl to get the best streaming action

woot come on dsl in 2 weeks

Lukin Black

Porn is just looking at flesh, but cybering, it's the same as going out and finding someone for a one night stand, just without the contact.

My 2c anyhow.

Moriarty

Originally posted by Typedef
<snip>.. girlfriends of mine.. <snip>.... but, still, no accounting for a complete lack of taste <snip>

Aye, ill say.

Back on topic, every bloke with the net looks at copius amounts of porn. They might even deny it, but they still do. Actually, the ones that deny it are probably the sort that are into the gas-mask fetishes..

Sarky

Well, I don't look at all that much porn.

Then again, I have been stuck with a lousy 56K connection for a very long time...

bug

I kinda look at porn this way as far as my b/f is concerned. I like vice city although wouldn't sit and play it for hours straight to see how far I could get. It just doesn't appeal to me in the same way.

Mossy Monk

Originally posted by Moriarty
Actually, the ones that deny it are probably the sort that are into the gas-mask fetishes..

how did you know :eek:

the things i could do with broadband :cool:

Ivan

Originally posted by Sarky
Well, I don't look at all that much porn.

Then again, I have been stuck with a lousy 56K connection for a very long time...

I'm on 28.8k and I still find the time :O

My opinion on this is basically - cyber is forming a sort of emotional attachment to a person and may eventually lead somewhere.

Porn involves an inanimate object and your imagination (and god willing your gf too) and is basically never going to go anywhere.

Porn is not equal to Cyber.

In my opinion its basically cheating, your cheating on your boy friend or girlfriend, its that simple.

Originally posted by skittishkitten

I probably have a hardcore collection that would put most guys porn collection to shame.

Challenge accepted! :ninja:

Memnoch

Memnoch's GF here again


Its wrong to say that I'm insecure of my b/f looking at porn...and for that reason I'm trying to 'stop' him.
There are a few reasons I don't like this habit of his:

Firstly I can't comprehend it...its kind of an annoying puzzle...cos usually we see things the same way

Secondly right after he has looked at it and isn't in a mood to have sex any more...I'm bound to get horny...just like I get hungry if there's no food in the house.

And this is the point where the cybering stuff comes in. If you know your bn/f is not in the mood...you have no other way of getting off (porn not being an option) I can't see how fifteen minutes of dirty talk with a stranger can do any harm. Its just a method of tickling your fancy (and other things too).

Obviously I wouldn't talk to the same person repeatedly...that's where things could get messy. I have given up good FRIENDS if my b/f is not comfortable with me talking to them.

The person you are talking with is just a nick name and a few erotic ideas...end of story...it doesn't get any furthur than that!! How you can 'cheat'...unless you're into cheating with air!!

Mercury_Tilt

This post has been deleted.

Memnoch

Originally posted by Memnoch
Memnoch's GF here again


Its wrong to say that I'm insecure of my b/f looking at porn...and for that reason I'm trying to 'stop' him.
There are a few reasons I don't like this habit of his:

Firstly I can't comprehend it...its kind of an annoying puzzle...cos usually we see things the same way

Secondly right after he has looked at it and isn't in a mood to have sex any more...I'm bound to get horny...just like I get hungry if there's no food in the house.

And this is the point where the cybering stuff comes in. If you know your bn/f is not in the mood...you have no other way of getting off (porn not being an option) I can't see how fifteen minutes of dirty talk with a stranger can do any harm. Its just a method of tickling your fancy (and other things too).

Obviously I wouldn't talk to the same person repeatedly...that's where things could get messy. I have given up good FRIENDS if my b/f is not comfortable with me talking to them.

The person you are talking with is just a nick name and a few erotic ideas...end of story...it doesn't get any furthur than that!! How you can 'cheat'...unless you're into cheating with air!!

I really wanted to avoid this and dragging the details of our personal life into this but she's already done it which sucks.... Anyways I don't want this to turn into a pissing contest between me and her online with everyone laughing at us so this will be my last post on the topic.

Firstly her saying that I don't want to do stuff with her after looking at porn is a blatent lie. I'm more than happy if she joins in but she always makes a big deal about it and is always giving me grief about it, even though I might only look at porn once or twice a week. The worst thing is she isn't open about her opnion. She never once actually told me that she felt so strongly about it, and since we've been together over 3 years, I find it strange that this has become an issue all of a sudden.

As for her "giving" up friends, this is another gross distortion of the truth. Basically there werethese two or three pakistani perverts she knows from back home who CONSTANTLY hit on her online. This obviously made me uncomfortable because she was talking to these guys on a pretty regular basis, and they knew she was my gf and had no respect for the fact and pretty much unashamedly hit on her and made inappropriate remarks. I mean if someone spoke to to someone's gf like that in a pub or in real life the way these guys were talking to her online, they would have gotten their faces broken by the respective boyfriend. Despite that I felt I was fairly tolerant and did not intervene other than pointing out to her that I was uncomfortable with the situation. I didn't ask to be allowed to speak with girls in a similar way online and didn't have any inclination to. So after x years of this crap she finally agrees that its gone a bit far and decides to stop talking to them and so she has "given" up her friends......

anyways like I said I don't really want to wash out dirty laundry in public. The point of this post was basically that I just wanted to see how ppl and especially women viewed the whole concept of looking at porn etc and cybering in regards to fidelity, and unfortunately it seems the discussion is veering off the topic I intended.

TacT

hmmm, I look at some every now and again (cba most of the time..). I know a married couple of which the bloke likes his porn a lot and the missus don't mind.....

I definitely think that cybering is not comparable, reminds me of a post from some woman asking if she thought that cybering with her webcam, naked, with some other guy was comparable to cheating and imho it is.

It is because you are being directly intimate with someone on some level, even if it is just for kicks, what's to say when you meet that person, you wouldn't want the same level of intimacy because you already feel comfortable with that person?

The two are not comparable in my book. I don't see anything wrong with the porn as it's more of a show, with no attachment to the actors and it's only eye candy..

Spunog UIE

NO PORN

skittishkitten

Thing is she's uncomfortable with the way the girls look/behave on the porn. She probably thinks you compare them to the her even if it's a subconcious comparison. I also use to be sensitive and easily embarrassed about porn ( the videos) but then I realized that REAL women don't look/act like this ( most times ). They've had so much cosmetic surgery and lipo suction that they probably NEED to do the porn just to PAY for it ( vicous grin ) . Now it doesn't bother me , I enjoy watching / looking at it . Maybe if she watched / looked at it more while you weren't around she would be more comfortable with it with you there and be more willing to share.

I still say that cybering is an "emotional fix" , even if it's with different people all the time.

Originally posted by Ivan
Challenge accepted! :ninja:

*sigh* I SO hate to see grown men cry

Victor

Originally posted by skittishkitten
She probably thinks you compare them to the her even if it's a subconcious comparison.

Real sex -v- porn. I think I know which wins most of the time.

cartman

hehe,
i can see the two of them bitchin totally now[in real life]...

Memnoch will be on the couch tonight id say:)

I dont look at it...Iv watch a film once and i honestly thought whats the point...
Its stupid esp when u have a gf and u can get ur hornyness off them:)

cartman

Is1ldur

In my (probably worthless) opinion, this is not really about Porn, but about attention. I kinda fell into a similar situation with my last long-term gf. The condensed version is that we moved in together, I spent quite a lot of time on PC, generally playing Quake. She would go to bed while I would stay up for another 1-2 hours, then I would go to bed. Then I would complain about being tired, etc. Basically, I was giving more attention to Quake than to her, and it really annoyed her and made her feel worthless.
In the end, I moved out to concentrate on my Quake addiction.

Actually, this is not really related to the problem here at all, is it?
And I kinda see why we split up now aswell.

Typedef

Originally posted by Moriarty
Back on topic, every bloke with the net looks at copius amounts of porn.

Speak for yourself.

If I was attached to a chick... I'd only look at porn... if it was something "we both" were into...

as opposed to something me + palm were into.

Getit?
Palm?

*sigh*

Sarky

Why not stop looking at porn and have more sex with her then? Everyone's happy.

The_Bullman

Originally posted by Sarky
Why not stop looking at porn and have more sex with her then? Everyone's happy.

So he gives up the porn and she still gets to get her kicks from cybering.... Sounds about right to me :rolleyes:

Sarky

Fine, I thought it was implied, but she can giv up cybering, he can give up porn, and they can both have more mad-passionate-rabid-insane-monkey sex.

Cabaal

Although its not advertised, but yeah girls do look at porn.
Maybe not as much as mem but they get just as turned on...

So I've noticed anyway :P

Victor

Originally posted by Cabaal
yeah girls do look at porn.

Who needs porn when you have a vibrator?

Cabaal

Originally posted by Victor
Who needs porn when you have a vibrator?

Well thats only for use when I'm not around, just to keep her tied over

skittishkitten

Originally posted by Victor
Who needs porn when you have a vibrator?

That's a whole new thread ......... GEEEEZZZZZZZ the fun we could have with this one .......so MANY things to be said .......

/ me tapes my mouth shut

bugler

I don't equate my fondness for porn with being single, as some seem to. I like it just as much when I'm accounted for. Saying "why watch porn when you can go and have sex with her" is missing the point in my opinion. Why watch porn? Because he wants to. I want to. EVERYBODY wants to!

Porn is enjoyable, and noone should take it away from you, whether they shag your brains out or not.