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do you look at porn?

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#32 31-08-2003 03:30AM

Mossy Monk

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Originally posted by Moriarty
Actually, the ones that deny it are probably the sort that are into the gas-mask fetishes..

how did you know :eek:

the things i could do with broadband :cool:

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#33 31-08-2003 04:13AM

Ivan

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Originally posted by Sarky
Well, I don't look at all that much porn.

Then again, I have been stuck with a lousy 56K connection for a very long time...

I'm on 28.8k and I still find the time :O

My opinion on this is basically - cyber is forming a sort of emotional attachment to a person and may eventually lead somewhere.

Porn involves an inanimate object and your imagination (and god willing your gf too) and is basically never going to go anywhere.

Porn is not equal to Cyber.

In my opinion its basically cheating, your cheating on your boy friend or girlfriend, its that simple.

Originally posted by skittishkitten

I probably have a hardcore collection that would put most guys porn collection to shame.

Challenge accepted! :ninja:

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#34 31-08-2003 11:49AM

Memnoch

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Memnoch's GF here again

Its wrong to say that I'm insecure of my b/f looking at porn...and for that reason I'm trying to 'stop' him.
There are a few reasons I don't like this habit of his:

Firstly I can't comprehend it...its kind of an annoying puzzle...cos usually we see things the same way

Secondly right after he has looked at it and isn't in a mood to have sex any more...I'm bound to get horny...just like I get hungry if there's no food in the house.

And this is the point where the cybering stuff comes in. If you know your bn/f is not in the mood...you have no other way of getting off (porn not being an option) I can't see how fifteen minutes of dirty talk with a stranger can do any harm. Its just a method of tickling your fancy (and other things too).

Obviously I wouldn't talk to the same person repeatedly...that's where things could get messy. I have given up good FRIENDS if my b/f is not comfortable with me talking to them.

The person you are talking with is just a nick name and a few erotic ideas...end of story...it doesn't get any furthur than that!! How you can 'cheat'...unless you're into cheating with air!!

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#35 31-08-2003 11:58AM

Mercury_Tilt

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This post has been deleted.

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#36 31-08-2003 12:09PM

Memnoch

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Originally posted by Memnoch
Memnoch's GF here again

Its wrong to say that I'm insecure of my b/f looking at porn...and for that reason I'm trying to 'stop' him.
There are a few reasons I don't like this habit of his:

Firstly I can't comprehend it...its kind of an annoying puzzle...cos usually we see things the same way

Secondly right after he has looked at it and isn't in a mood to have sex any more...I'm bound to get horny...just like I get hungry if there's no food in the house.

And this is the point where the cybering stuff comes in. If you know your bn/f is not in the mood...you have no other way of getting off (porn not being an option) I can't see how fifteen minutes of dirty talk with a stranger can do any harm. Its just a method of tickling your fancy (and other things too).

Obviously I wouldn't talk to the same person repeatedly...that's where things could get messy. I have given up good FRIENDS if my b/f is not comfortable with me talking to them.

The person you are talking with is just a nick name and a few erotic ideas...end of story...it doesn't get any furthur than that!! How you can 'cheat'...unless you're into cheating with air!!

I really wanted to avoid this and dragging the details of our personal life into this but she's already done it which sucks.... Anyways I don't want this to turn into a pissing contest between me and her online with everyone laughing at us so this will be my last post on the topic.

Firstly her saying that I don't want to do stuff with her after looking at porn is a blatent lie. I'm more than happy if she joins in but she always makes a big deal about it and is always giving me grief about it, even though I might only look at porn once or twice a week. The worst thing is she isn't open about her opnion. She never once actually told me that she felt so strongly about it, and since we've been together over 3 years, I find it strange that this has become an issue all of a sudden.

As for her "giving" up friends, this is another gross distortion of the truth. Basically there werethese two or three pakistani perverts she knows from back home who CONSTANTLY hit on her online. This obviously made me uncomfortable because she was talking to these guys on a pretty regular basis, and they knew she was my gf and had no respect for the fact and pretty much unashamedly hit on her and made inappropriate remarks. I mean if someone spoke to to someone's gf like that in a pub or in real life the way these guys were talking to her online, they would have gotten their faces broken by the respective boyfriend. Despite that I felt I was fairly tolerant and did not intervene other than pointing out to her that I was uncomfortable with the situation. I didn't ask to be allowed to speak with girls in a similar way online and didn't have any inclination to. So after x years of this crap she finally agrees that its gone a bit far and decides to stop talking to them and so she has "given" up her friends......

anyways like I said I don't really want to wash out dirty laundry in public. The point of this post was basically that I just wanted to see how ppl and especially women viewed the whole concept of looking at porn etc and cybering in regards to fidelity, and unfortunately it seems the discussion is veering off the topic I intended.

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#37 31-08-2003 12:19PM

TacT

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hmmm, I look at some every now and again (cba most of the time..). I know a married couple of which the bloke likes his porn a lot and the missus don't mind.....

I definitely think that cybering is not comparable, reminds me of a post from some woman asking if she thought that cybering with her webcam, naked, with some other guy was comparable to cheating and imho it is.

It is because you are being directly intimate with someone on some level, even if it is just for kicks, what's to say when you meet that person, you wouldn't want the same level of intimacy because you already feel comfortable with that person?

The two are not comparable in my book. I don't see anything wrong with the porn as it's more of a show, with no attachment to the actors and it's only eye candy..

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#38 31-08-2003 12:57PM

Spunog UIE

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NO PORN

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#39 31-08-2003 02:11PM

skittishkitten

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Thing is she's uncomfortable with the way the girls look/behave on the porn. She probably thinks you compare them to the her even if it's a subconcious comparison. I also use to be sensitive and easily embarrassed about porn ( the videos) but then I realized that REAL women don't look/act like this ( most times ). They've had so much cosmetic surgery and lipo suction that they probably NEED to do the porn just to PAY for it ( vicous grin ) . Now it doesn't bother me , I enjoy watching / looking at it . Maybe if she watched / looked at it more while you weren't around she would be more comfortable with it with you there and be more willing to share.

I still say that cybering is an "emotional fix" , even if it's with different people all the time.

Originally posted by Ivan
Challenge accepted! :ninja:

*sigh* I SO hate to see grown men cry

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#40 31-08-2003 02:21PM

Victor

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Originally posted by skittishkitten
She probably thinks you compare them to the her even if it's a subconcious comparison.

Real sex -v- porn. I think I know which wins most of the time.

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#41 31-08-2003 02:27PM

cartman

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hehe,
i can see the two of them bitchin totally now[in real life]...

Memnoch will be on the couch tonight id say:)

I dont look at it...Iv watch a film once and i honestly thought whats the point...
Its stupid esp when u have a gf and u can get ur hornyness off them:)

cartman

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#42 31-08-2003 02:30PM

Is1ldur

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In my (probably worthless) opinion, this is not really about Porn, but about attention. I kinda fell into a similar situation with my last long-term gf. The condensed version is that we moved in together, I spent quite a lot of time on PC, generally playing Quake. She would go to bed while I would stay up for another 1-2 hours, then I would go to bed. Then I would complain about being tired, etc. Basically, I was giving more attention to Quake than to her, and it really annoyed her and made her feel worthless.
In the end, I moved out to concentrate on my Quake addiction.

Actually, this is not really related to the problem here at all, is it?
And I kinda see why we split up now aswell.

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#43 31-08-2003 02:33PM

Typedef

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Originally posted by Moriarty
Back on topic, every bloke with the net looks at copius amounts of porn.

Speak for yourself.

If I was attached to a chick... I'd only look at porn... if it was something "we both" were into...

as opposed to something me + palm were into.

Getit?
Palm?

*sigh*

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#44 31-08-2003 02:42PM

Sarky

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Why not stop looking at porn and have more sex with her then? Everyone's happy.

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#45 31-08-2003 02:56PM

The_Bullman

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Originally posted by Sarky
Why not stop looking at porn and have more sex with her then? Everyone's happy.

So he gives up the porn and she still gets to get her kicks from cybering.... Sounds about right to me :rolleyes:

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#46 31-08-2003 03:18PM

Sarky

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Fine, I thought it was implied, but she can giv up cybering, he can give up porn, and they can both have more mad-passionate-rabid-insane-monkey sex.

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#47 31-08-2003 07:34PM

Cabaal

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Although its not advertised, but yeah girls do look at porn.
Maybe not as much as mem but they get just as turned on...

So I've noticed anyway :P

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#48 31-08-2003 07:35PM

Victor

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Originally posted by Cabaal
yeah girls do look at porn.

Who needs porn when you have a vibrator?

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#49 31-08-2003 07:40PM

Cabaal

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Originally posted by Victor
Who needs porn when you have a vibrator?

Well thats only for use when I'm not around, just to keep her tied over

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#50 31-08-2003 08:49PM

skittishkitten

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Originally posted by Victor
Who needs porn when you have a vibrator?

That's a whole new thread ......... GEEEEZZZZZZZ the fun we could have with this one .......so MANY things to be said .......

/ me tapes my mouth shut

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#51 31-08-2003 10:52PM

bugler

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I don't equate my fondness for porn with being single, as some seem to. I like it just as much when I'm accounted for. Saying "why watch porn when you can go and have sex with her" is missing the point in my opinion. Why watch porn? Because he wants to. I want to. EVERYBODY wants to!

Porn is enjoyable, and noone should take it away from you, whether they shag your brains out or not.

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#52 31-08-2003 11:34PM

Seraphina

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yea i look at porn sometimes, but only if its any good! wouldn't mind if the bf did either, sometimes it'll give ya good ideas! but if it was a very regular basis i would obviously feel a little put out that these women were getting more attention than me and possibly that he found them more attractive ( i can be extremely paranoid )

with the cybering thing, i would be VERY put out if my other half was regularly cybering with other people. its not exactly cheating but its too close for comfort imo.

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#53 01-09-2003 12:07AM

Doodee

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A/S/L

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#54 01-09-2003 01:03AM

MrPinK

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Just find her some porn that she does like, the industry caters for just about everyone. She thinks it objectifies women? Get her some without any women in it.

Or else just d/l PGP and encrypt it all. If she asks what those several gigabyte files are, just blame it on windows XP

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#55 01-09-2003 01:17AM

vibe666

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do i look at porn?

yes.

does my girlfriend mind?

yes.

have we argued about it?

yes.

Did I stop?

not so far.

last time we discussed it she moved out for 3 days, so now we don't really mention it any more.

am I obsesed? no, i don't think so. maybe look 1 or 2 times a week at most, and i really don't see the big deal. i think we've agreed to disagree, and i just make sure i'm not obvious about it and that she isn't goiong to accidentally stumble on anything she wouldn't like.

i've tried to get her interested, but she just isn't. not a lot i can do really, i guess some girls just aren't made that way inclined.

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#56 01-09-2003 01:51AM

sReq | uTeK

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such a trivial argument which could have been avoided with a bit of silence on both parts.

Who ever knew that a post on boards could cause the demise of a 3 year old relationship

As for the

tappity tappity remark

I think that was a little ****ed and uncalled for imo
Go p3nfold you da man

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#57 01-09-2003 02:28AM

kamobe

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I have never got cyber. Let me put that another way I don’t understand it. Are you saying that you "relieve" yourself as such while tappity tapping some dirty sentences on a screen?

Web cam cyber I can understand... but words on a screen*.... my mind does go a boggling on that one.

I'm also a little confused about this one.... Left hand down - right hand flying away at the keyboard? Hardly a turn on now is it :rolleyes:

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#58 01-09-2003 08:39AM

Mercury_Tilt

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#59 01-09-2003 10:45AM

DapperGent

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Originally posted by Memnoch

Secondly right after he has looked at it and isn't in a mood to have sex any more

I bet he only looks at porn because you won't take it up the ass.

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#60 01-09-2003 02:15PM

Turner

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Porn yeah the odd time. Would I mind if the gf looked at it ? Not at all, Sure hasnt porn thought us all how to really enjoy ourselves in the sack with our partners.

Cybering I think is a total waste of time. Have never dont it and never will.

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#61 01-09-2003 02:36PM

TomTom

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Don't look at it as much cause i've moved in with my girl friend. It's not required in my opinion.
But hey if you want to then i don't see why anyone whould have a problem with it.
Most of these people are unabtainable, if we live by those rules, there would be no point in admiring a nice porche 911.

tis life.

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