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One-Liner Jokes

JackKelly · 2003-07-30 11:39:05

Well, in my opinion, one line jokes are the funniest of most jokes,so i was thinking, maybe i should try make a list. As you can never really find funny jokes on webpages, i thought that there would be more sucess on boards.ie! So anyone got any? You know the type im talking about.From ridiculos ones, to the tommy cooper…

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#2012 15-12-2010 3:22pm
Guill

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I use my one in work the odd time.

Usuallt when someone makes something too long and i'm trying to fix it.

That other bolox made this and the ****in thing is about a week too long!

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#2013 15-12-2010 3:31pm
stovelid

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I'm like Gerry Ryan.

I can never leave it at one-liners.

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#2014 15-12-2010 3:33pm
--Kaiser--

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This thread is about as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit

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#2015 15-12-2010 3:35pm
Balfie

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--Kaiser-- wrote: »

This thread is about as welcome as a fart in a spacesuit

No Need for that... :rolleyes:

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#2016 15-12-2010 3:36pm
Rabies

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Dravokivich wrote: »

Yer as funny as rabies in an animal shelter...

*cough*

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#2017 15-12-2010 3:38pm
dinnyman

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I wouldnt even ride it into battle...

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#2018 15-12-2010 3:40pm
reap-a-rat

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Guill wrote: »

I use my one in work the odd time.

Usuallt when someone makes something too long and i'm trying to fix it.

That other bolox made this and the ****in thing is about a week too long!

Ya can use something similar about a tall person,
"If he was any longer he'd be late!"

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#2019 15-12-2010 3:42pm
Korvanica

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Posts: 3682

how're your diddies for sour milk?

Did you hear about the 2 peanuts walking down the road? One was Assaulted.

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#2020 15-12-2010 9:45pm
Dravokivich

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Rabies wrote: »

*cough*

This might clear that out for ya.

:P

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#2021 16-12-2010 4:31pm
MonkieSocks

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Yoko Ono has just been signed up for next years " I'm a celeb got me out of here "

The producers say she will be fantastic as she has been living off a dead Beatle for 30 years

=(:-) Me? I know who I am. I'm a dude playing a dude disguised as another dude (-:)=

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#2022 17-12-2010 3:53am
admiralofthefleet

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I was having a brilliant birthday when my wife choked to death eating the party food.

It was the icing on the cake.

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#2023 17-12-2010 2:21pm
giggsy664

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A gay guy just called me an arsehole.

Does that mean he likes me?

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#2024 17-12-2010 2:29pm
poppyvalley

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Balfie wrote: »

ooooh forgot this one

If I had a bucket full of mickeys I wouldn't give ya one..

Or a bag of langers!

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#2025 18-12-2010 12:56am
rusty_racer94

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Why does an Elephant have 4 feet?
Because 6 inches would be too short!

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#2026 19-12-2010 10:25am
EdgarAllenPoo

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You're about as useful as Anne Frank's karaoke machine.

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#2027 19-12-2010 12:44pm
JohnCleary

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EdgarAllenPoo wrote: »

You're about as useful as Anne Frank's karaoke machine.

You're about as useful as Anne Franks drum-kit

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#2028 19-12-2010 2:23pm
rusty_racer94

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You're as useful as a chocolate teapot.

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#2029 20-12-2010 8:45pm
Winty

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EdgarAllenPoo wrote: »

You're about as useful as Anne Frank's karaoke machine.

Thats not funny anne frankley its offensive

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#2030 21-12-2010 12:31pm
Culchie

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First 133 pages of good one line jokes and fun, last 4 pages of pure shyte

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#2031 21-12-2010 12:33pm
Ash.J.Williams

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What do Giraffes get for lunch in the Zoo??

an hour like everyone else.....

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#2032 21-12-2010 1:12pm
rusty_racer94

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I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

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#2033 21-12-2010 1:14pm
rusty_racer94

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Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

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#2034 21-12-2010 1:15pm
ballsymchugh

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rusty_racer94 wrote: »

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

quoting brian o'driscoll there!

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#2035 21-12-2010 1:26pm
rusty_racer94

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Why are men like cars?
Because they always pull out before they check to see if anyone else is comming.

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#2036 21-12-2010 9:01pm
dh0661

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rusty_racer94 wrote: »

Why are men like cars?
Because they always pull out before they check to see if anyone else is comming.

LOL PMSL

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#2037 28-12-2010 4:59pm
TanG411

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My friend found €50 while digging some soil.

Lucky sod.

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#2038 31-12-2010 1:12am
upandcumming

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What do you call a man with no shins?

Tony.

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#2039 31-12-2010 11:22pm
tfitzgerald

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What's the taxmans favourite joke

Many happy returns the the taxman goes returns get it ha ha ha

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#2040 03-01-2011 3:32pm
TrimTOODLE

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" The 1st time I read the dictionary Ithought it was a poem about EVERYTHING"

"there is a fine line between fishing and standing on the shore looking like an idiot"

" I'm a peripheral visionary. ..... i can see into the future... but wayy off to the side ":rolleyes:

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#2041 09-01-2011 3:59am
TanG411

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My computer required that I upgrade my flash.

So I threw away my trench coat and bought a cashmere instead.

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