2 Year Old Won't Sleep - Afraid of the Wind

OREGATO · 09-01-2020 10:43am #1

Hey folks,

Looking for people to share their experiences and advice on something we're going through with my eldest daughter (2 years and 2 months old)

She's never been a great sleeper but the past few months have gotten a lot better. She's easily settled and has a bedtime routine which I follow strictly every evening. Even when she wakes over night normally, going back in to give her her soother or a few pats on the back/hug would calm her down and she'd fall back asleep no problems. It's been good.

Problems started on Tuesday night, there was gale force winds outside and she seemed to get scared from the noise, she got very hysterical and was very hard to put down. It took us 1.5 hours to get her settled. We went through months of this when she was younger too but blamed it on regressions/teeth etc. Now that she can talk, I think it's different as we sort of know it's the wind scaring her or the thought of wind

Last night was worse, she was very hard to put down and she woke at 11 and was very hard scared/anxious/I'm not sure of the right term, I had to keep going into her as she kept waking up hysterical. Her words are coming on now and she kept saying 'Windy', 'Windy' even though last night there was no wind or noise.

I kept reassuring her, giving her hug after hug, opening the blind to show her nothing was outside, telling her the wind was her friend and that it helped birds and planes fly and that it was ok. She kept repeating 'wind is ok, it's ok' etc and calmed a little but a few minutes after putting her back down in her cot, she was back up in hysterics. Eventually she fell asleep by me leaving her bedroom door open over night at 3am (which isn't ideal as we have a 4 month old down the hall)

I know kids at this age will have irrational fears and I'm trying to be supportive and reassuring but I was hoping some would shed a light on what if anything else I could do or their experiences with scared children etc.

I know it's only 2 nights in but I'm anticipating she's going to keep being like this every night, so the sooner I can address it (if I can) the better for all.

I don't do cry it out and don't think in this instance it would help my daughter but any advice or helps or even people sharing their experiences would be great.

She wend back to creche on Monday after the long holidays and she cried a bit when she went in on Monday, Tuesday and yesterday but went in fine today. She settled shortly after I dropped her in - not sure if this is relevant in any way but thought I'd mention it.

Any help/advice/war stories appreciated!

O

lazygal · 09-01-2020 12:05pm

White noise machine might work?
I'm loath to recommend stuff or approaches like the usual 'bedtime routine of bath/story/cuddles because it might be something you have to ride out.

OREGATO · 09-01-2020 2:09pm

lazygal wrote: »

White noise machine might work?
I'm loath to recommend stuff or approaches like the usual 'bedtime routine of bath/story/cuddles because it might be something you have to ride out.

There is a gro clock in her room already as well as a Vtech mobile which plays soothing lullabies if she stirs. Might not be a bad call on the white noise but even last night, there was no noise outside at all, maybe a bit of rain but she still got up every few minutes for a good few hours and was awake by her regular time of 7am.

VegetaIRL8e · 09-01-2020 2:14pm

I'd go with the white noise machine too.
Kids can see the machine and hear the noise so they associate one and the other and know its safe. I had very much the same with my lil one, not wind but general noise of ppl coming and going in the apartment block. It along with her lullaby owly have her settling for naps at least.

shesty · 09-01-2020 3:15pm

Also leave her door open if you don't leave ut already.
My oldest won't sleep without the door open to it's widest extent.My second wants hers almost closed.It is just some kids have bigger imaginations than others.She may be overtired too and stirring from a deep sleep, confused.I would say it might just be something you need to ride out.Maybe don't open blinds or anything too much anymore, just keep the talking to a minimum and tell her to get comfy in her bed.
If there were any books on the wind going around that might be useful too.Friendly wind stories!

Vetch · 10-01-2020 12:31am

Just wondering if there might be a vent in the room that's exaggerating the noise of the wind? I woke up a few times earlier in the week with the wind howling through an open vent.

OREGATO · 10-01-2020 2:25am

Third night of this

She was hard to put down this evening. Any time a car drove by, it set her off and I had to go in and comfort her. She eventually nodded off until midnight and I've been in and out to her ever since. She keeps throwing her soothers out, standing at the edge of the cot and getting hysterical at the slightest noise or when another car drives by or just randomly.

I have put on some white noise through an old phone in her room to help drown out the car/wind noise but she's still getting hysterical.

I've tried leaving her door open and it makes no difference.

Dancewithme · 10-01-2020 2:43am

I have self diagnosed myself with misophonia since the age of 2. Clocks ticking. People eating. Ugh. I think for me it is a sensory issue. Maybe it is something similar with your little girl. Check out gravity blankets. I am going investing in one. I hope ye will be ok

drunkmonkey · 10-01-2020 2:45am

Have you a room at the back of the house to move her to. Tell her no more soother tomorrow buy her a present and don't let her near them again. She'll forget about it soon enough and it'll allow her to sleep a lot better.
What heat is her room. Have you good thick black out curtains(to block light and sound). Is she in a sleep sack.
Let her cry for a bit it won't kill her, check her after 5 minutes, say nothing when you go in, just put her back down, close the door and walk out and don't worry about her hearing you.
If she's still howling leave her 10 minutes, and repeat, then leave it 20 minutes (it shouldn't take that long she should have settled herself by then you'll hear the gap in cries getting longer then you know it's working)
It may seem a bit harsh but the your current game plan isn't working. Give it a try and don't hate yourself for it, you all need sleep.

Mech1 · 10-01-2020 2:51am

Stop blaming the wind.

Do as above.

OREGATO · 10-01-2020 3:02am

Thanks for the replies, especially at this hour. It helps.

She is fine during the day with noises and cars, even tractors so I don't think it's misophonia. Just the past few nights have been hell.

We have tried the controlled crying approach in the past and it has never worked, if anything I think it's made her worse before. You're right about the soothers, we only give it to her at bedtime but it's something we will address at some point, perhaps right now with all this going on isn't the best time.

Her room is between 16 to 18 degrees. She's in a sleep sack and we have a gro blind plus regular blind and curtains.

Even if there are no noises she's waking after 3 - 10 minutes and calling for daddy or mammy. I've literally been into her at least 35 times since midnight.

drunkmonkey · 10-01-2020 3:20am

Check her temperature if fine close her door and go back to bed.

It's a game of chicken at this stage, no better time to take the soother. You've got a tough hour or two ahead but she's got to learn when you say nite nite you mean it.

Our oldest one, the 5yr old has just let a holler he's probably going to come in and kick me out of the bed. We messed up with the first but we have the second two nailed when it comes to bedtime.
Not using a soother once was probably the best thing we ever done with the last one. I'd ban then in the morning if in Leo's boots.

Mech1 · 10-01-2020 3:21am

Calpol * 2 then get some sleep, stop fussing ive got 4 kids btw

drunkmonkey · 10-01-2020 3:30am

What you could try as well if you just want sleep is go into her room, don't go near her but just climb into a bed if there's one there or a chair with you feet up, either sit there silently but she can hear your breathing...or do the same only go asleep in there. Just don't pick her up or go over to her, it's ok to have the chair beside the cot if she's still in one...

mrslancaster · 10-01-2020 4:29am

Your daughter went back to creche on Monday after a long break and has trouble sleeping since. Was there any changes in the creche like new staff? when you had the sleeping problems before was it when she started in creche? Changes are so hard for toddlers and a new baby as well who is taking you away from her...separation anxiety is very common.
poor little one, hopefully things will settle down when she gets a bit more used to the changes in her routine.
Btw I never agreed with crying it out either, I think babies (incl 2 year old babies) deserve as much reassurance & comforting as they need for as long as they need it. The idea of ignoring a child crying for attention because something is upsetting them never sat well with me but everyone has their own system I suppose.

shesty · 10-01-2020 1:33pm

I would take a middle line here.She is two, they kind of go a bit haywire with sleep at 2.You have to start again a bit.It's 3 nights, you have done what you can with the wind or whatever, so the next thing is a consistent approach from you.You can't make her fall asleep, she has to do that herself,so all the white noise machines and lights aren't going to solve that.

It takes them 1 night to make a habit, and a good 10 nights to break it.So (and I have done this), I would put her to bed, same routine as always, and either sit in her room or potter on the landing for a bit so she knows you are there.I would go into her every 5 mins.If she hysterical, you might be better to sit in her room.Don't engage too much, tell her it's time for sleep, to get comfy in her bed, etc.Make it really boring!!!If you are trying all sorts of things....it's interesting!She's 2, look, mammy and daddy are coming in and out.And I don't mean she is manipulating you or anything, I mean she is just doing what 2 year olds do -cause and effect, finding the boundaries.

I would repeat ad nasueum to be honest.I found with mine every couple of minutes if they are very upset, but every 5 mins was plenty if they were just having a shout, and I stretched it to 10 mins after about 45 mins or so.Just went in, resettle, reinsert soothers, rearrange covers night-night.No lights, or chat or anything.They are hard wired to sleep at night biologically, they need it, so make it dull and boring.

It is an outright pain in a$$ to do, as a parent.It's a slow form of torture.But it is totally worth it in the long run for her sleep habits.And your sanity....

Dravokivich · 10-01-2020 4:56pm

Mech1 wrote: »

Calpol * 2 then get some sleep, stop fussing ive got 4 kids btw

Mod:
We can't have advice posted suggesting medication is used, other than as prescribed.

dreamstar · 16-01-2020 9:56am

I also have a two year old who just recently has also developed this fear of the wind. It's so strange. he wakes afraid at night and even during the day hates the wind on his face and the noise of planes etc. So I sympathise with you OP. It's so tough on sleep.
My little guy used to be great for his sleep but it's getting harder to put him down these days. Some things that worked for us were putting his music on his mobile at night, leaving a lamp on, taking his favourite toy to bed. I also got him a little torch that he brings to bed too. But some nights all he wants is someone with him. I'm not one for the controlled crying or leaving them to self settle - I just can't do it. Any time I have tried it takes him ages to settle down. So on the bad nights I will sit with him and rub his back until he goes asleep. This never takes more than 15 minutes. It seems to be an age of fears and nightmares etc. I find everything is just a phase. Some just last longer than others.

OREGATO · 16-01-2020 8:46pm

Thanks for the replies and sorry for the late response. We went to center parcs over the weekend and she was a disaster sleep wise. Woke every hour on the hour, she's done that every night for the past two weeks and now I'm so run down, I've got tonsillitis and a really bad cold/flu. Doctor told me to get plenty of rest, ha! Fat chance of that.

The obsession with the wind has eased a little, she still mentions it from time to time but I tell her the wind is her friend and makes birdies fly and I tell her to say goodnight to the wind too to calm her. We've been leaving her door open a little each night which has made putting her down slightly easier but she is still waking literally every hour and I've had very little sleep for the last two weeks.

There have been no major changes in creche, although she's had two reports of not being gentle with other children ðŸ™„ so we are trying to teach her and explain she has to be gentle and no pushing or shoving.

Not sure what to do at this point as nothing seems to work. Smher bed time is supposed to be 7 and tonight she's been jumping up and down on her cot, right now, she's still up, standing in her cot with no sign of her looking tired. This then I believe leads to her being over tired and then waking every hour screaming for me.

Please help!

drunkmonkey · 16-01-2020 9:15pm

If she's wide awake take her out of bed and let her run around until she falls over. Once she starts rubbing her eyes take her down. Don't go back in after that no matter how much you want to.

fits · 16-01-2020 10:28pm

drunkmonkey wrote: »

If she's wide awake take her out of bed and let her run around until she falls over. Once she starts rubbing her eyes take her down. Don't go back in after that no matter how much you want to.

Don’t agree with this obviously. I’d ditch the cot and get a mattress on the floor so you can fall asleep with her and sneak out or stay there if needed. I would have lost my mind if I persisted with a cot.

Milly33 · 17-01-2020 12:23am

I am not going to suggest anything but just might put you at ease that out little one went through a spurt like this. Last for around 2 weeks if not less.. She has been a great sleeper all along in fairness and would only wake if she had a pain, or something like that. But then just before Christmas she started to wake up just screaming as if she had a really bad dream of something like that..

Sorry to say it just took perseverance, going in tag team effort to try and get her to sleep. Eventually she would drop off but it did take a lot of patience

Skybirdjb · 17-01-2020 12:22pm

We went through this too . Putting him to bed and he just playing standing no hope of sleep . Then crying
I don’t leave him cry so we just used to get him up leave him run around and play and always on the timer every time 2 hrs later ready for bed and he would go backup and sleep the night .
This went on for a good 3 weeks solid . The nights we left him up there he would eventually go to sleep but would wake the whole night . What worked was getting him up leaving his burn it off and then bed .
The only time he sleeps straight through was when he was happy . Also we went through a phase of having to put him in the buggy and a late night short walk and a blast of fresh air then straight to bed and off he went for the night .
I know a lot of what we do people wouldn’t agree with but my wise old mum always says do what works for you . do what u have to do to get some sleep yourself !
It’s all about phases really isn’t it ? Had a week solid of him not going to sleep unless I was sitting on the floor next to the cot ! Now he’s in a phase of going straight to sleep and sleeping through
God only knows when the next phase will be lol
Hugs to you

OREGATO · 17-01-2020 3:43pm

Cheers for the replies folks.

Last night she woke hysterical at midnight shouting for mammy. It took us until 2 am to settle her between singing to her, lifting her out and hugging her etc. At 12.30 I opened YouTube on my phone and put on twinkle twinkle for her, was the only way she calmed down. After that, any time I tried to leave the room, she went mad again.
She then woke at 3, then 4 and got up before 7

I've considered letting her stay up and burn off the energy but I worry that I'll cause her to be overtired but suppose she could be over tired as it is..

She's currently napping fine this afternoon, probably cause she's so tired. I put her down at 12 and it's nearly three hours asleep without as much as a squeak from her. She was easily settled into her cot too.

I'm so confused.. she sleeps fine for her nap at home but night times are a disaster.

OREGATO · 17-01-2020 3:44pm

Skybirdjb wrote: »

we just used to get him up leave him run around and play and always on the timer every time 2 hrs later ready for bed and he would go backup and sleep the night .

Can I ask did your little fella go back to his regular bed time and how did you manage to transition him back to his regular time or did you used to get him up from bed when he was wide awake and wouldn't sleep?

Milly33 · 17-01-2020 4:55pm

How many naps and how long does she sleep for during the day then, could be all part of it.. Going to sleep last night i was thinking of the thread, our neighbour had called just after herself got out of this waking at night thing, to say her fella was exactly the same....

Skybirdjb · 17-01-2020 5:18pm

OREGATO wrote: »

Can I ask did your little fella go back to his regular bed time and how did you manage to transition him back to his regular time or did you used to get him up from bed when he was wide awake and wouldn't sleep?

I used to put him to bed at 7 when he was showing all the signs of needing to go to bed and I would have got him up then when sleep was not happening he used to get so upset up in the cot . Once up then no crying and run around happy for an hour or two then try again and he would go to sleep for the night
If I’m honest I didn’t do anything differently kept the same thing every night for a long 3 weeks and he just went back to going to sleep on his own at 7
Then I had a week about 2 weeks ago that he would only go to sleep if I was sitting there ??? Dunno why he didn’t even look at me or hold my hand
Then that stopped and now he is good
I also had a phase of him waking at like 2 am and there was no way he would go back to sleep so I used to get him up and bang on 2 hours later he was ready for sleep
The only thing I noticed was that he needs to go for his nap earlier at 11 and he would be up at 1 which meant he was tired by 7
If he went for nap any later it caused trouble going to bed

Skybirdjb · 17-01-2020 5:20pm

Mabey try giving the nap earlier and then it’s longer time between waking and going to bed ?

OREGATO · 17-01-2020 6:53pm

Thanks again for the replies.

She goes down for a nap at 12 and normally in creche she will only sleep from around 1 to 2 or less. At home she'll nap from 12 to anywhere from 130 to 3. Normally we would wake her at 2 or 230 the latest but let her sleep on today as she's been so cranky.

We've tried putting her down earlier for naps but she normally wouldn't go down earlier and the creche have their own set times which could end up confusing her so we leave it at 12pm

She's been acting out a lot lately with screaming and pushing and hitting which I guess is part of the terrible twos but the last time she was this bad with sleep in September 2019 she was the same with the crankiness and bad behaviour but got so much better from October to now. Not sure if that's related in any way.

I am dreading every evening and the fact that my entire night is spent sitting on the hallway really gets me down!

shesty · 18-01-2020 1:11pm

Her naptime sounds fine.To be honest it sounds like a developmental thing.They do have a phase of suddenly noticing (and not liking) external noises like planes and that, mine all had between 2 and 2.5 ish.That's normal.

It is depressing, but your mantra as a parent has to be 'it won't last forever' especially the 2-3 year old phase.The thing is OP ,if you want to co-sleep with her, then do.It's your house.But otherwise your responses to her need to be consistent for as long as it takes, if you are trying different things every night or so, she will get confused and keep at it.Once she gets the consistent message that nightime is for sleeping, she will settle ok.(and I don't mean letting her cry it out).I know it is a pain...believe me I know.

The other thing is thst no.2 is only 4 months.Big adjustment there for a 2 year old.It could all just be part and parcel of the one thing.At this stage, I take the view that unless they are very clearly sick or hungry or teething, it is all just part of their development, and once my message is consistently and gently that it's bedtime and sleep time, it will sink in eventually.It is exhausting for you too, I hope your other half is helping out....taking it in turns or whatever works.Two smallies is a lot of work.

OREGATO · 18-01-2020 7:50pm

shesty wrote: »

Her naptime sounds fine.To be honest it sounds like a developmental thing.They do have a phase of suddenly noticing (and not liking) external noises like planes and that, mine all had between 2 and 2.5 ish.That's normal.

It is depressing, but your mantra as a parent has to be 'it won't last forever' especially the 2-3 year old phase.The thing is OP ,if you want to co-sleep with her, then do.It's your house.But otherwise your responses to her need to be consistent for as long as it takes, if you are trying different things every night or so, she will get confused and keep at it.Once she gets the consistent message that nightime is for sleeping, she will settle ok.(and I don't mean letting her cry it out).I know it is a pain...believe me I know.

The other thing is thst no.2 is only 4 months.Big adjustment there for a 2 year old.It could all just be part and parcel of the one thing.At this stage, I take the view that unless they are very clearly sick or hungry or teething, it is all just part of their development, and once my message is consistently and gently that it's bedtime and sleep time, it will sink in eventually.It is exhausting for you too, I hope your other half is helping out....taking it in turns or whatever works.Two smallies is a lot of work.

Thanks for the reply, I agree, it certainly sounds like a developmental thing.

We've lasted over 2 years and only co slept a handful of times, to be honest, I'm not a fan of it and find that she kicks and moves too much that being in the same bed would mean disruption, plus, I don't want it to become a habit for her.

We're definitely trying to have a consistent approach, however, tonight, my wife decided to ask her if she wanted mammy to bring her up and she said yes

she was having none of it when I tried to bring her up so tonight, my wife is going to try a routine with her and I'm not sure if they're going to be consistent with the routine I've had with her for the past 4/5 months as she's been looking after the little one, I'm worried cause last night didn't go too badly, she still woke up but instead of every hour, she woke twice, once at midnight and then at around 3am...

She's really happy with her younger sister, there have been sometimes when we've noticed jealously but for the most part, she seems fine..

My wife and I are definitely working together as best as we can, she's primarily caring for the youngest as it makes more sense while I try to look after the oldest. We'll see what tonight brings..

2 Year Old Won't Sleep - Afraid of the Wind

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