2 Year Old Won't Sleep - Afraid of the Wind

appledrop

All children are different so it's really hard to know what's best. Personally I'd try putting her to bed a little later. Our 3 year old has just stopped his naps + he never went to bed before 8. Now there was no way I'd have stopped them before now because he needed his naps in day as busy in creche but there was too much messing if we tried to put him down before 8 as just not tired. Now that he has dropped his nap we can start bedtime process at 7.30.

Our 3 year old always sleep in dark room with no lights on but I remember about 2 he would get night terrors + worries about monsters etc in room. We explained all this + safe in his house but since then we do leave a bathroom light on in hall + door slightly open. He sleeps great as a result.

Under no circumstances would I take away the dodo at this point in time. Yes we all want them to give them up but right now with new baby + fact she is so upset leave her with her comfort. When she is more settled + ready to give it up the dodo fairy came to our house + left a present which worked a treat. He never cried for dodo or looked for it again.

Just to say it will pass + they all go through their little phrases! Our 3 year old never sleep more than 1 hour as a newborn day or night (I'm not joking!) but he is a great sleeper now.

OREGATO

Thanks appledrops. Definitely won't be taking away the soother just yet as it might be too much on her.

My wife put her down at 7 tonight but it was almost 8 before she fell asleep. She has since woken every hour but has been really bad since 2. She's literally gotten up every 5 to 15 minutes crying about the wind or if a car drives past she'll cry. She's not crying hysterically, just more of a moan or whinge about the win if that makes sense.

I keep going in and telling her it's ok, it's fine, telling her to say goodnight to the wind, good night to the cars but at max 15 minutes later, she's calling for me and saying "wind wind". There isn't actually any wind tonight either. There's a faint bit of road noise in the distance but thats always been there.

I am absolutely shattered and run down from a lack of sleep. I thought we turned a corner last night when she slept slightly better but it feels like I am back to square one. It's going to be 2 weeks of this on Tuesday and there is no end in sight.

drunkmonkey

Stop going in. Say goodnight close the door and walk away. You can't keep doing what your doing, everyone is wrecked.

Maybe try the gradual retreat program if your want to be a bit less blunt than I would be https://www.supernanny.co.uk/Advice/-/Health-and-Development/-/0-to-4-years/Sleep-Clinic-~-your-questions-answered-.aspx

Either way you can't keep rewarding this behavior by continually going in.

Get rid of the dodo. Do it this morning and tell her it's because she won't go to sleep, take her to the toy shop for a reward for being a big girl no longer a baby. The dodo is yere addiction not hers.

fits

drunkmonkey wrote: »

Stop going in. Say goodnight close the door and walk away. You can't keep doing what your doing, everyone is wrecked.

Maybe try the gradual retreat program if your want to be a bit less blunt than I would be https://www.supernanny.co.uk/Advice/-/Health-and-Development/-/0-to-4-years/Sleep-Clinic-~-your-questions-answered-.aspx

Either way you can't keep rewarding this behavior by continually going in.

Get rid of the dodo. Do it this morning and tell her it's because she won't go to sleep, take her to the toy shop for a reward for being a big girl no longer a baby. The dodo is yere addiction not hers.

This is terrible advice!

I remember my two went through a similar phase this time last year when they just turned two. It lasted a couple of weeks and then sleep improved dramatically straight after. Do whatever you need to to get sleep. Ie cosleep. It’s just a phase. And she won’t get ‘bad habits’ - a mattress in her room would be great as you can sneak out when she’s settled.

OREGATO

fits wrote: »

This is terrible advice!

I remember my two went through a similar phase this time last year when they just turned two. It lasted a couple of weeks and then sleep improved dramatically straight after. Do whatever you need to to get sleep. Ie cosleep. It’s just a phase. And she won’t get ‘bad habits’ - a mattress in her room would be great as you can sneak out when she’s settled.

We went through something like this back in October when number two was born. It was absolute hell. We thought she was over all the regressions after she settled from that, she slept really well for a few months but now this.

She's in a box room so there is no where to put a mattress. She has woken at 11 and 12 tonight and is hard to settle now, she keeps saying wind, wind but there is no noise outside at all ffs. I keep reassuring her but its really hard keeping my patience tonight. I'm going in every few minutes or can't get out of the room without her getting upset.

At this point should I sit in the room until she falls back asleep? Am I making it worse doing that? Because then she'll expect me to be beside her when she wakes and if I'm not there, she'll be more hysterical?

I don't know any more.

As for letting her cry it out and taking away the Dody, I agree that right now is not the time to tackle the Dody and crying it out I feel would just scare her even more senseless. So it's something I don't think I can or will do as it'll make her worse.

fits

All I can tell you is what I would do. I would stay and reassure her until she gets through this phase. Might be time to ditch the cot as well. If you sleep with her everyone will get sleep.

Digs

I would be inclined to second all Shesty said in that everything is a phase and it does pass... that doesn’t mean you’re not pulling your hair out at the moment though waiting for it to happen.

Do you have an iPad you could put on airplane mode and play white noise or some other soothing sounds etc on? There are loads of apps available. It might distract her from the wind issue for a while, just keep it on quite low.

ETA: sorry I’ve just read the thread properly and see you tried YouTube etc and she still wasn’t happy when you left the room. Sorry I can’t be more help OP!

bee06

fits wrote: »

All I can tell you is what I would do. I would stay and reassure her until she gets through this phase. Might be time to ditch the cot as well. If you sleep with her everyone will get sleep.

This is what I would do as well. My little boy went through every sleep regression there was and on the first one I drove myself crazy trying to fix it but just ended up stressing myself out more. After that I just did whatever meant would get me the most sleep and they all ended eventually. He’s now 2 and has just started having lots of dreams from around 4.00am and waking for the day between 4.30 and 5.30 because of it. I can’t fix it so I’ll go to bed earlier for a while to maximise my own sleep. It will end just like all the other frustrating phases.

Skybirdjb

I would sit there also . I’m back to this the last few nights . If I sit there for 30 mins he’s usually asleep and can ninja style out of the room lol
It’s not like he even wants me to hold his hand or anything just sit there.
I totally know the frustration you are feeling is so hard always so so hard in the middle of the night when ur exausted.

shesty

Is she hysterical, or just having a wail?
Honestly I used to lie in bed and time 5 mins on the clock, go in resettle and repeat ad nauseum.After about an hour, I would time 10 mins.
If they were hysterical I would calm.them down first, then see could I get out and go back after maybe a minute, if they started to really howl again.
Timing out minutes at 2am is....no word for it....but it worked.That 2 hour window mentioned before is true, my second and third would be awake or awake-ish for about 2 hours, then drop off.The other time period tends to be 45 mins, because we sleep in cycles of about that.
If she is hysterical, maybe try sitting with her for a bit alright and see how that goes.
(I don't know why I say used to, I was in to my own little guy at 2am last night...)

Bee06...I suggest a groclock...won't stop the waking but let's him know it's still night, especially in summer.Lifesaver in our house.

fits

bee06 wrote: »

t. I can’t fix it so I’ll go to bed earlier for a while to maximise my own sleep. It will end just like all the other frustrating phases.

I often go to bed early too. Usually too tired after bedtime routine to do much anyway.

OREGATO

Thanks for all the replies, I haven't had the chance to reply to them but will tomorrow.

She's currently roaring her head off next door while my wife is trying to comfort her. She's going mad screaming the house down and each time either of us go in she's saying no mammy or no daddy depending on who goes in. She's absolutely hysterical at the moment and nothing is calming her. We've offered hugs and cuddles, it's all NO NO NO, absolute ****ing meltdown. I do not want to put YouTube in front of her to calm her cause quite frankly I don't want her to have to rely on a tablet or phone to settle.

She went down very easy this evening at 7 and hasn't stirred until now and she's making up for the 4 hours peace in a big way.

I am absolutely ****ing drained from this.

drunkmonkey

How long was she roaring before one of you went in?

There's no way she's teething by any chance, have you some teetha you can give her.

OREGATO

drunkmonkey wrote: »

How long was she roaring before one of you went in?

There's no way she's teething by any chance, have you some teetha you can give her.

I went in after a minute or two, she wasn't hysterical at that point but it was almost like seeing me made her super annoyed and she went ballistic roaring the house down.

Good suggestion on the teething, I don't think it's that.. she's normally pretty good at telling us if she's soar but hasn't made any gestures of her mouth or anything.

We've finally managed to settle her - for now. I went in and turned on the light and took her in my arms dispute her protests and wailings, then put her down and turned off the light and we just started reading her gro clock book to her. We stayed in the room until she was a bit calmer and the house is still now. I'm tense waiting for her to explode again. I'm also wide awake now, after falling asleep this evening at 930.

Thanks for all the previous replies - typically when she wakes she's not this hysterical like tonight, she's still upset but I can coax her back to bed, sometimes its harder as I'm trying to sneak out of the room too soon but now I will try sitting close to the door until she's nearly asleep before I leave as we've done tonight.

In desperation I've bought a rotating night light projector thing from Amazon that's got good ratings, it arrives this week so will install that when it comes to see if it can help calm her a bit.

@bee06, I've been going to sleep at 830/9pm most nights nowadays as I am so tired after a long day. I'd also recommend the gro clock, despite my little ones current phase, she used to be very good at staying in bed until mr sun comes out. I still read the book to her each night and she really enjoys it.

@skybirdjb, hope you're little fella settles better for you than my little one settles for me! Sorry to hear you're going through some tough nights too





She's stirring again now

drunkmonkey

I've given 3yrs trying to get the oldest guy to start sleeping with the light off, I managed to do it first go with the grow clock the other night I picked up in lidl. Not a light on in the house now.

Your were mad to go in after a minute or two, you need to cut that out, my daughter done the same at about the same time, the Mrs had ear plugs in and I let her roar for a few minutes and she just nodded back off...well either that or she's dead, I didn't go check as I know the outcome, won't hear from her now until about 7 and she's asleep from 7.

Now if I could just fix my own sleeping, it's broke from the 3 of them.

Dravokivich

OREGATO wrote: »

I went in after a minute or two, she wasn't hysterical at that point but it was almost like seeing me made her super annoyed and she went ballistic roaring the house down.

To be honest, if they are just crying trying to get your comfort or attention, I find it's better to wait for them to come to you. They seem to be more receptive of talking, when they notice screaming hasn't gotten'em what they want.

OREGATO

So we are into week 3 of this and it's not been any better.

We are at a loss, mentally drained and feeling absolutely helpless.

The last few nights have been the same, slightly easier to put her down but then she wakes at some point and screams the house down, no way to calm her. It could take 15 to 45 minutes to get her down then she cries every hour until her wake up time of 7pm.

Only exception was Thursday night, she slept through the night miraculously but tonight she's been screaming her head off for the past 20 minutes. I go in and all I get is no daddy no daddy, my wife goes in and all she gets is no mammy no mammy.

Some nights she's saying she's scared of the wind or the cars on the road, other nights she's just hard to settle. I know there are phases but this is week 3 and no improvement.. I'm not sure where to turn? A doctor can hardly do anything? She's not sick or teething.

At a complete loss here..

Suckit

This may be completely 'out there'...
And may seem a bit hocus pocus. But......

Years ago a close friend of our family had a daughter that was the same way inclined, and it was years ago, roughly late 80's early 90's.
She would go to sleep and then wake with all sorts of issues she couldnt/was unable to put her finger on. It basically boiled down to her being uncomfortable and restless. I think she was 2 or 3. Was definitely under 5.

To get to the point, they had spent a lot of money on specialists, until somebody suggested another 'specialist'. The specialist in question was able to determine that there was running water under their house ('blackwater' iirc) - also known as water veins nowdays (maybe even then).
They were able to access some old plans (the house is very old) and were able to identify some old river or something (I was young myself, so I can't remember everything correctly) and they were able to see where it flowed.
They moved her bed away from it, or into another room, and her problems stopped.
Apparently some people are more susceptible to it than others.
I feel a bit silly repeating that, but I am 100% sure it happened, and the family involved had tried many, many other avenues before this.
If you live near water, it may be worth looking into (I am not a 'healer' or 'spirit guide or whatever they are called, nor am I in any way affiliated to anyone that is.. )

OREGATO

Thanks for the reply. I ended up googling it but I try not to be the superstitious type but if this continues and I get more delirious maybe I will start looking at it more.

She has roared her head off for the past 70 minutes and not settled. She's throwing all her teddies, Dody and blanket out of the bed. I don't know what to do.

We are both absolutely wrecked and not sure what we can do.

OREGATO

Tonight has been a train wreck. The wind has picked up outside so I'm not sure if that is keeping her awake but she is still stirring every 5 minutes.

She wouldn't let me settle her and only let mammy settle her. So my poor wife is going to be wrecked as she'll have the night feeds too.

I just don't know what to do.

bee06

Maybe it’s been mentioned already but has she been checked for worms. Apparently it can really impact sleep.

starbaby2003

OREGATO wrote: »

Tonight has been a train wreck. The wind has picked up outside so I'm not sure if that is keeping her awake but she is still stirring every 5 minutes.

She wouldn't let me settle her and only let mammy settle her. So my poor wife is going to be wrecked as she'll have the night feeds too.

I just don't know what to do.

Is there a new baby in the mix ? I think this would be the cause of unsettled sleep.

shesty

You could bring her to the GP for check to make sure it's nothing (check the ears).

But it could be the baby and a phase combined.I know you said before she seemed fine with the baby, but I have noticed with my three that the arrival of the new baby is fine...and then there is a delayed reaction a couple of months later when they realise this thing is not going away!

I have a 20 month old, he is just...just...coming out of a phase of taking over an hour to go to sleep at night.He could be wrecked and he will still shout for an hour minimum and fling everything out of the cot.I let him at it, to be honest, I have the kitchen to clean, lunches to get ready and that.We pop into him every so often and give back soothers, leave the kitchen door open so he can hear us.I actually noticed last night he only took 40 minutes, it's been going on for about 2 months now.My eldest did it too, with bedtime and naps from about 2 for a few months.

She may be disturbed at night from being overtired then.It could be anything OP I know you are trying to pinpoint a problem and a solution but maybe instead come up with a strategy between your wife and yourself so that you both get some sleep but are consistent in how you respond to her.If you are at a point where you are totally lost, then I would suggest a sleep consultant.

The only other thing I will say is this...she is 2.She has zero impulse control and she is trying out her power.That thing you are saying where she is shouting no daddy and no mammy.....if you both stand there looking at her bewildered, she knows you are lost, and that will make her worse.Believe it or not she needs you-one or both- to project some level of control there (even if you aren't feeling it) and just say 'look, I am going to stay here with you til you fall asleep'.(or similar) End of, just take the control.It's a push-pull battle at that age, but they need to feel you have some control over things.

bee06

To Shesty’s last point about the needing you to show control I read the below article which stuck with me on that topic.

https://www.janetlansbury.com/2009/10/securing-boundaries-no-walk-in-the-park/

OREGATO

Thanks for the replies.

I'll need to re read them and the article posted when my head is a bit clearer.

She's created a pattern the last two nights where she has woken up at 1030 and having an absolute meltdown. I've never seen her tantrums this bad. She's going ape ****.

My wife is in there with her at the moment and she is saying no to everything and actually hitting out at my wife, throwing everything out etc etc.

My wife is reading a book at the moment which teaches how to handle tantrums and is trying it out. I need to read it myself but she is like a possessed demon screaming and going ape ****.

I'm at my wit's end with this. One minute she's asking for daddy then I walk in and she screams the house down saying no daddy etc..

We are fairly able to handle her tantrums in the day time but this is just on another level at the moment.

There is a new born (4 months) in the house yes.

We've considered a sleep consultant and I'm not sure if they can help with this? We've read Lucy Wolfe and reading up on consultants all we will get is a few emails and a 'tailored plan' and I don't think we could afford to have them out in the house with us on a night.. I would be interested in hearing more opinions on this though.

OREGATO

So an update for anyone who's still reading this thread.

We've had some mixed nights, we've moved her bedtime later by 10/15 minutes which I think has helped.

When I say mixed nights, I think some of the nights where she stirs less are because she's so tired. On the bad nights, she is waking up super hysterical and taking up to one hour to settle.

She screams no daddy, no mammy and just yells and yells.

I've been reading a toddler book "the happiest toddler on the block" which my wife's been reading that gives good tips for dealing with tantrums. Some of the techniques have worked during the day.

Tonight she woke at midnight and was crying hysterically. All the techniques weren't really working but after a while of screaming no mammy and no daddy I asked her was she scared and managed to coax out of her that she was scared of the cars and wind outside.

I hugged her for 10 minutes and kept reassuring her. Managed to get her back in the cot but any slight wind noise or car passing by is causing her to cry lightly for daddy. I'm trying not to respond unless it's a distress call but I can't let her scream louder as my wife is in another room with a 4 month old. No doubt she's lying awake next door atm too from all the noise and screaming.

I am not sure where to go from this point? I'll keep reassuring her that she's safe in bed and cars and wind can't hurt her but even when she's down stairs playing and sees car lights go by, she highlights it. Will she grow out of this? Where did this fear come from? She's fine going in the car, looking out at buses and birdies and other cars from her seat. But I'm just confused, tired and feeling helpless from all this right now.

Do I just give up and let her sleep in my bed from here on out until she outgrows this? I am really reluctant to doing this..

Thanks again for all the replies so far, they've really helped. And any more stories or advice please do share..

Edit. It's now past 2am and I haven't slept a wink. Every few minutes when a strong gust of wind blows she's up and screaming out. I need to go in to settle her. I'm shattered at this point and not sure what to do.

Edit 2. Past 3am and she's still yelling every 5 to 10 minutes over the wind. I see no way of settling her. This is probably the worst night we've had with her since she's been born.

OctoberMammy

I don't have any advice but just wanted to offer support. It's the worst feeling ever when you don't know what to do and are at your wit's end with tiredness and frustration. Sending you (and your wife!) a virtual hug and hope it improves for you all soon.

shesty

The noticing of sounds will pass, she is at an age for that.Mine used to run in from the garden at that age when a dog barked or an airplane passed over head, they didn't like the noise.They do grow out of that.

Is the baby awake at night at all?Just curious, because it might actually be that that is disturbing her moreso.

Are there vents in her room that the wind is blowing through that could be covered for a while?

The fact that she has had a few night's sleep is good though, it means she can do it.With the brighter weather, I would get her out in the evenings for a bit before bed.Nothing like a good dose of fresh air to wear them out.

OREGATO

shesty wrote: »

The noticing of sounds will pass, she is at an age for that.Mine used to run in from the garden at that age when a dog barked or an airplane passed over head, they didn't like the noise.They do grow out of that.

Is the baby awake at night at all?Just curious, because it might actually be that that is disturbing her moreso.

Are there vents in her room that the wind is blowing through that could be covered for a while?

The fact that she has had a few night's sleep is good though, it means she can do it.With the brighter weather, I would get her out in the evenings for a bit before bed.Nothing like a good dose of fresh air to wear them out.

Thanks very much for the replies. It really helps a lot and they are appreciated.

I really hope the noticing of sounds will pass.. How long did your little one go through that phase for? I know they are all different but I'm just curious. there's super strong winds at the moment and I still haven't gotten her settled 70 minutes later. She kicks off as soon as a big gust blows in outside and calls for me. I'm trying to be firm and talking to her constantly from the door. But she keeps freaking out with each gust. So I have to go into her or shell melt down. It's going to be a long night again and I'm running on about 3 hours sleep, my wife less.

I just can't see the end to this. She's normally good going down for naps but today it took 30 minutes to settle her. We tried to keep her routines and times even though last night was so bad.

Her little sister isn't too bad but she's a lot less noisy even if she's kicking off. We had thought perhaps she could hear her little sister but definitely not the case as she's as far away as possible.

I brought her to the play ground earlier and she had a good time. Thought she'd settle from all the running around but it's over an hour and fifteen past her regular bed time and she's still not settled. The wind is picking up outside now as well and she's gone into a no daddy phase but my wife is down stairs feeding. At a complete loss..

Skybirdjb

Would she sleep in a bed with you ? Just wondering as I know my brother and sister in law have 3 kids under 4 . She sleeps in one bed with 6 month old and 2.5 year old and he sleeps in another bed with 4 year old .
They regularly say it’s all about getting sleep what ever way they can . And it wont be forever is their motto