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How do people feel about being called love?

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    #32
    BBFAN
    Registered Users Posts: 2,228 ✭✭✭BBFAN


    It's hilarious in here. Yeah I did post in the wrong forum. I'll move to work problems to get opinions from people who actually work.


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    #33
    Samuel T. Cogley
    Registered Users Posts: 10,684 ✭✭✭✭Samuel T. Cogley


    BBFAN wrote: »
    What relevance has this nonsense?


    It's AH, there's a work and Jobs forum if you wanted a lack of nonsense, love.


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    #34
    andekwarhola
    Registered Users Posts: 4,638 ✭✭✭andekwarhola


    Wouldn't agree with some of the responses. Certainly don't think it's an issue outside a work environment.

    Where and when I was brought up, it was a very common thing and I personally don't have an issue with it. My mother does it constantly to all sorts of people.

    In work though, from a senior colleague and after been asked not to do it, it's inappropriate.


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    #35
    Purple Mountain
    Registered Users Posts: 13,034 ✭✭✭✭Purple Mountain


    Ah howiya love?

    To thine own self be true



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    #36
    Roger Hassenforder
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,555 ✭✭✭Roger Hassenforder


    BBFAN wrote: »
    Do people on here genuinely refer to people in the workplace as love? Tell the truth now?

    I mean someone who is in a senior position.

    *clears throat.
    Ahem

    Its unacceptable in a workplace. Particularly if you've asked him. You've a choice, ask him again and take it to HR if he persists, see how it goes. Might not go as well as hoped. Might end in constructive dismissal and a payout.

    Not defending him, but he sounds a bit old school gob****e, maybe poor education and development, but i'd ask him again, say exactly how it annoys you. If he persists, start doing something trivial that annoys him, by the sounds of it i doubt he'll make a deal of it, and maybe change behaviour, or dust down the CV and move on.


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    #37
    Dyr
    Registered Users Posts: 23,246 ✭✭✭✭Dyr


    Ask one of the other girls to look after your till so you can go and complain to HR


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    #38
    vectorvictor
    Registered Users Posts: 745 ✭✭✭vectorvictor


    BBFAN wrote: »
    Where do you get the impression I have a problem with everyone and everything?

    You are a judgemental twit judging by your posting style. You insulted and judged the whole of AH in one foul swoop with your working, tone, atmosphere comments etc..

    Surprised you have a boss tbh , surely you should be a unemployable enough to be a "Self employed freelancer"


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    #39
    skooterblue2
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,816 ✭✭✭skooterblue2


    Purple Mountain wrote: »
    Ah howiya love?

    A1 Sharon


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    #40
    august12
    Registered Users Posts: 1,275 ✭✭✭august12


    andekwarhola wrote:
    In work though, from a senior colleague and after been asked not to do it, it's inappropriate.

    Completely agree here, it's not appropriate in the work place, especially from a senior staff member.


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    #41
    pumpkin4life
    Registered Users Posts: 1,435 ✭✭✭pumpkin4life


    If I was your manager I would actually be very concerned with this being an issue with you to be honest.

    The problem with work based political correctness is not about about being offensive, but the inability for people to call out dumb decisions in the workplace due to having a label stuck on your head, sexist/racist/homophobic etc. This leads to a decline in the ability for your organization to perform and compete with other companies in the same field.

    A lad I know used to work for a company that is trying to push for 50% of women in management. Apparently their revenue has been declining for the past couple of years, but it's a big unsolvable mystery why exactly that is.

    :rolleyes:


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    #42
    meeeeh
    Registered Users Posts: 11,624 ✭✭✭✭meeeeh


    Roger Hassenforder wrote: »
    *clears throat.
    Ahem

    Its unacceptable in a workplace. Particularly if you've asked him. You've a choice, ask him again and take it to HR if he persists, see how it goes. Might not go as well as hoped. Might end in constructive dismissal and a payout.

    Why would any company let someone go with a nice cheque just because some moron can't address people by their name.


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    #43
    KKGirlatheart
    Registered Users Posts: 15 ✭KKGirlatheart


    Would really annoy me tbh, hate love/pet etc. Worked with a guy who always called the female collegues 'darling' it was just said as slang, but he didn't call all his male colleagues 'mate (worked in London for years so it was Cockney way of talking) Think we jointly called him out on it in a meeting one day in a humorous way.....that ended it

    Bad form to continue it when you did ask him to stop. Maybe you should start calling him 'pet' for a while just to make a point!


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    #44
    Signore Fancy Pants
    Registered Users Posts: 3,683 ✭✭✭Signore Fancy Pants


    BBFAN wrote: »
    It's hilarious in here. Yeah I did post in the wrong forum. I'll move to work problems to get opinions from people who actually work.

    LOL

    You are in a senior role but cant handle a very simple workplace issue, run to the internet, post in an inappropriate forum, dont like the responses and then get pissy about it.

    You also want to bring this non issue to the business owners. That is not an appropriate action from a competent senior appointment holder. Deal with the issue yourself love.

    Your leadership seems weak, If I was the business owner and I was approached with this trivial nonsense, I would be wondering if there was someone else for the job.

    But what do we know? Sure arent we all unemployed in AH?

    Best of luck with your employment in a senior role.


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    #45
    vectorvictor
    Registered Users Posts: 745 ✭✭✭vectorvictor


    pumpkin4life wrote: »
    A lad I know used to work for a company that is trying to push for 50% of women in management. Apparently their revenue has been declining for the past couple of years, but it's a big unsolvable mystery why exactly that is.

    :rolleyes:

    That's more of a problem with filling quotas for the sake of it than gender performance to be fair


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    #46
    riclad
    Registered Users Posts: 8,184 ✭✭✭riclad


    i think its rude to call someone love in the work place,
    its sexist, let love be used by people who are dating or in a relationship.
    When you call someone love its like saying i like you. you must like me.
    it could be sexist too.
    its usually a man saying it to a woman,
    its worse if the man is above the other person eg a manager talking to a secretary.
    This is not the 70.s ,we should be able to refer to other people in a professional manner .
    We have moved on a bit since then .
    Things change ,people no longer smoke at work .Most people don,t drink
    and then drive home .
    Its patronising ,like you should not call someone older girl,
    any female over 18 is a woman.
    the problem is if you are in charge of someone,
    They may be insulted but they may be afraid to complain about it it.
    theres no point in saying i live in a certain area ,
    so That means i can act like a moron or an idiot
    and call anyone anything i like.


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    #47
    Pac1Man
    Registered Users Posts: 4,394 ✭✭✭Pac1Man


    Calm your tits.


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    #48
    Squatter
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,841 ✭✭✭Squatter


    meeeeh wrote: »
    Why would any company let someone go with a nice cheque just because some moron can't address people by their name.


    Generally speaking, it's a judgement call made on the basis that it's the better option.


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    #49
    vectorvictor
    Registered Users Posts: 745 ✭✭✭vectorvictor


    riclad wrote: »
    i think its rude to call someone love in the work place,
    its sexist, let love be used by people who are dating or in a relationship.
    When you call someone love its like saying i like you. you must like me.
    it could be sexist too.
    its usually a man saying it to a woman,
    its worse if the man is above the other person eg a manager talking to a secretary.
    This is not the 70.s ,we should be able to refer to other people in a professional manner .
    We have moved on a bit since then .
    Things change ,people no longer smoke at work .Most people don,t drink
    and then drive home .
    Its patronising ,like you should not call someone older girl,
    any female over 18 is a woman.
    the problem is if you are in charge of someone,
    They may be insulted but they may be afraid to complain about it it.
    theres no point in saying i live in a certain area ,
    so That means i can act like a moron or an idiot
    and call anyone anything i like.

    Ok chicken we got the message


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    #50
    BBFAN
    Registered Users Posts: 2,228 ✭✭✭BBFAN


    Samuel T. Cogley wrote: »
    It's AH, there's a work and Jobs forum if you wanted a lack of nonsense, love.

    I've posted there already because I realised that AH was a stupid place to ask for a realistic response.

    Delighted you think you made a funny joke though Samuel. See how easy it is to call someone by their name?


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    #51
    Peter Denham
    Closed Accounts Posts: 181 ✭✭Peter Denham


    One of my lecturers always calls me love or pet. I find it endearing as she's old enough and it's just in her vocabulary.

    Also there's a woman in my local shop that calls everyone love. Never entered my mind as being offensive. Maybe it's different for women to be called it.


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    #52
    kildare lad
    Registered Users Posts: 2,010 ✭✭✭kildare lad


    Is he gay??? Ive a gay uncle and he calls everyone love or dear.


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    #53
    vectorvictor
    Registered Users Posts: 745 ✭✭✭vectorvictor


    BBFAN wrote: »
    I've posted there already because I realised that AH was a stupid place to ask for a realistic response.

    Delighted you think you made a funny joke though Samuel. See how easy it is to call someone by their name?

    It would be pretty embrassing for everyone here (and you) to address you as big brother fan surely?


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    #54
    rafatoni
    Registered Users Posts: 469 ✭✭rafatoni


    Dont get a job in lannddaaann OP they use love and darling all the time even in big corp companies.


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    #55
    Klonker
    Registered Users Posts: 1,667 ✭✭✭Klonker


    OP, have you a senior / important job in the company? Don't think you've mentioned it yet.


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    #56
    Pyr0
    Registered Users Posts: 5,967 ✭✭✭Pyr0


    Doesn't bother me at all! In fact, i try not let pointless things wind me up in life.


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    #57
    meeeeh
    Registered Users Posts: 11,624 ✭✭✭✭meeeeh


    There was (is) a company where sales people called everyone pal. It went down really badly with everyone and we dealt with them only when we absolutely had to. It's not a gender thing, people have names, use them.


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    #58
    BBFAN
    Registered Users Posts: 2,228 ✭✭✭BBFAN


    KKGirlatheart wrote: »
    Would really annoy me tbh, hate love/pet etc. Worked with a guy who always called the female collegues 'darling' it was just said as slang, but he didn't call all his male colleagues 'mate (worked in London for years so it was Cockney way of talking) Think we jointly called him out on it in a meeting one day in a humorous way.....that ended it

    Bad form to continue it when you did ask him to stop. Maybe you should start calling him 'pet' for a while just to make a point!

    That's precisely my argument, this guy doesn't call males by any generic name.


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    #59
    sjb25
    Registered Users Posts: 3,376 ✭✭✭sjb25


    BBFAN wrote: »
    I've recently started a new job in a quite senior position and there's on guy on the management team who has continuously called me love.

    The other day I told him not to call me love and he continues to do so and then correct himself with an eyeroll as if to say "oh now I have to be careful". Really pissing me off because I believe in being straight up and telling people if there's something you don't like before going to the owners of the business but this is pissing me of now.

    What do AH's think?

    Move to Wexford and you will be “hun” male or female


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    #60
    grindle
    Registered Users Posts: 6,026 ✭✭✭grindle


    Wibbs wrote: »
    It's a pretty good sign that society has never been safer and generally lacking in bad stuff and that most people's lives are pretty good when being called "love" winds someone up.

    Counterpoint - with the knowledge that we're living in an epoch of safety, people who're getting píssed off about the minutae of daily interactions are actually testing boundaries to see where the balance should lie. Bringing about a new stage of intellectual development where we all become the most boring bastards ever back-and-forthing inane "doesn't-really-matter" horseshít on a niche website populated by drunk/drugged/lonely/pathetic/bored/fidgety Irish citizens.

    I don't personally like getting called "pet", "love", "hun", etc etc - but I'm well aware they don't mean harm and that my annoyance should throw the benefits of my life into sharp relief.

    "This is what I'm pissed off by?"

    Progress tends to slow as it advances, maybe this is the interpersonal side of Moore's Law. We've gotten through the worst struggles and now we as a species have to navigate all the most boring crap (obv. whilst ignoring the mountains of shít we're going to hand to our kids of course).


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    #61
    Rubberchikken
    Registered Users Posts: 5,083 ✭✭✭Rubberchikken


    In a workplace especially after youve asked that it stop, is unprofessional.
    If a person you work with is too lazy/ignorant to use your name then they should at least keep the 'love' for those that dont mind being spoken to in a patronizing way.

    I dont appreciate it in a shop environment. Use nothing before using that term imo.


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