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Why don't Irish houses have bidets?

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    #92
    the purple tin
    Registered Users Posts: 10,943 ✭✭✭✭the purple tin


    Bidet would be seen as 'having notions'.


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    #93
    Sac O Spuds
    Registered Users Posts: 73 ✭✭Sac O Spuds


    You'd end up having to install them in all the bathrooms in a house. Ensuites are small enough without another fixture. Would or do people actually use them?


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    #94
    Hotblack Desiato
    Registered Users Posts: 33,918 ✭✭✭✭Hotblack Desiato


    You wouldn't. We are a one-pot household unfortunately, but I hear that many of those who are more endowed in the toilet department have "designated" pots to accept the heavier loads. e.g. no shyteing in the poorly ventilated en-suite.

    Life ain't always empty.



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    #95
    Oranage2
    Registered Users Posts: 11,131 ✭✭✭✭Oranage2


    Could the government for their dole just make the unemployed go around and use their hand to wipe the workers backside?


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    #96
    jimgoose
    Registered Users Posts: 20,174 ✭✭✭✭jimgoose


    Nevin Parsnipp wrote: »
    No ..you do your business and "clean up" as normal...then over to the bidet w which is in VERY close proximity ...squat (Pulling the cheeks open is optional) fire a couple of " ranging" shots of water to the hoop.

    Once the target ( Your Hoop) has been dialled in give her full choke and pressure and watch the few remaining flakes of dried in sh1te succumb to the onslaught and fcuck off down the pluggie.

    Final wipe ..dry off...squirt of Lynx Africa...and your good for Coppers !

    I'd substitute Old Spice body-spray for the Lynx Africa, but this man spake trath. Just the ticket after a dump worthy of a Caterpillar 994K. :cool:


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    #97
    Firefork
    Registered Users Posts: 57 ✭✭Firefork


    You’d have to turn the immersion on


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    #98
    smurfjed
    Registered Users Posts: 10,032 ✭✭✭✭smurfjed


    Just had my 3 bathrooms renovated and had bum-guns installed in all of them. Great for the arse and removing skid marks on the bowl before the wife sees them.


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    #99
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 7,499 ✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Sierra Silly Vermin wrote: »
    Do what they do in India
    Fit a hose onto the wall next to the toilet.

    ANd in thailand,
    its called the bum gun.


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    #100
    Sardonicat
    Registered Users Posts: 12,378 ✭✭✭✭Sardonicat


    BrownFinger wrote: »
    ANd in thailand,
    its called the bum gun.

    So, what's with your finger?


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    #101
    Capt'n Midnight
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 90,712 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    IMHO after Glenroe no Irish person wanted a Biddy in their house.


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    #102
    mrcheez
    Registered Users Posts: 13,624 ✭✭✭✭mrcheez


    First thing I did when I got back from Japan was find out where I could buy a Japanese toilet.

    Ended up instead buying one of those mechanical powered loo attachments on Amazon and it works like a dream.

    Doesn't play music unfortunately :/


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    #103
    Ubbquittious
    Registered Users Posts: 6,181 ✭✭✭Ubbquittious


    There is a cultural cringe associated with them now. They were all the go in the 70s carpeted pink or avocado green bathroom and now they are seen as an anachronism from that time nobody wants to be reminded of. Nothing to do with the functionality of the bidet ifself


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    #104
    shockwave
    Registered Users Posts: 1,770 ✭✭✭shockwave


    Just let the dog lick it clean it tickles a bit but its grand


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    #105
    feargale
    Registered Users Posts: 8,636 ✭✭✭feargale


    Why don't Irish houses have bidets?

    Because there was no sex in Ireland when most of the houses were built. Honest. Oliver Flanagan said so.


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    #106
    Hotblack Desiato
    Registered Users Posts: 33,918 ✭✭✭✭Hotblack Desiato


    Ubbquittious wrote: »
    There is a cultural cringe associated with them now. They were all the go in the 70s carpeted pink or avocado green bathroom and now they are seen as an anachronism from that time nobody wants to be reminded of. Nothing to do with the functionality of the bidet ifself

    Except in Ireland in the 70s almost nobody had ever seen one except on TV (invariably the subject of some terrible joke on a British sitcom.)

    Life ain't always empty.



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    #107
    mvl
    Registered Users Posts: 1,229 ✭✭✭mvl


    things may change now - https://www.wired.com/story/toilet-paper-shortage-bidet-sales-boom/


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