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Why don't Irish houses have bidets?

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13

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    #62
    kowloon
    Registered Users Posts: 13,313 ✭✭✭✭kowloon


    lertsnim wrote: »
    I'd love one of those Japanese toilets.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QecplAPd-K4


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    #63
    Hotblack Desiato
    Registered Users Posts: 34,022 ✭✭✭✭Hotblack Desiato


    sbsquarepants wrote: »
    What kind of freaky fetishist enjoys squirting cold water on their balloon knot.

    Some of us have hot water in our houses. Just sayin'.

    Life ain't always empty.



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    #64
    Sky King
    Registered Users Posts: 4,431 ✭✭✭Sky King


    sbsquarepants wrote: »
    What kind of freaky fetishist enjoys squirting cold water on their balloon knot.

    What kind of freaky fetishes enjoys plastering sh it into all the cracks and crevices of aforementioned balloon knot?


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    #65
    mvl
    Registered Users Posts: 1,229 ✭✭✭mvl


    glasso wrote: »
    how would you know - you don't have one?

    works well I can tell you :pac:

    saves the hassle of installing a hose and it's portable.

    Well, I probably wouldn't spend money on something with limited water supply, that's for sure.
    I am not saying it is not good for its original purpose though… (while I for one would defo not need one)


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    #66
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    mvl wrote: »
    Well, I probably wouldn't spend money on something with limited water supply, that's for sure.
    I am not saying it is not good for its original purpose though… (while I for one would defo not need one)

    you can always refill with water if the Klingons sent in the whole fleet.

    usually not too far away from a tap in a bathroom you'd have to agree. takes about 5 seconds.

    if you look on amazon for the other similar items they are very popular for this use - the wimmins thing is just another use.

    just posted that model as it's the best!


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    #67
    Nevin Parsnipp
    Registered Users Posts: 832 ✭✭✭Nevin Parsnipp


    A squirt of hot water on the hoop can be ...uh ..somewhat therapeutic .

    Cleans away all the ar$e debris and ground in weenies .

    Quick swipe of a moistened kitten soft and you have a gleaming hoop !

    What's not to like about that ? AND you have the added bonus of an unsoiled skiddi ?


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    #68
    byte
    Moderators, Regional North West Moderators Posts: 19,099 Mod ✭✭✭✭byte
    byte


    Clag-gone is yer only man! ;)

    020_04012014_09-43.png


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    #69
    funkey_monkey
    Registered Users Posts: 8,086 ✭✭✭funkey_monkey


    How do you dry?
    All toilets (most anyway) are plumbed using only cold water. To get hot water to them would be a sizable job unless you are updating the bathroom anyway.
    Do you do your business on the toilet and then crab walk over to the bidet to blast off the dingle berries?


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    #70
    Nevin Parsnipp
    Registered Users Posts: 832 ✭✭✭Nevin Parsnipp


    funkey_monkey wrote: »
    How do you dry?
    All toilets (most anyway) are plumbed using only cold water. To get hot water to them would be a sizable job unless you are updating the bathroom anyway.
    Do you do your business on the toilet and then crab walk over to the bidet to blast off the dingle berries?

    No ..you do your business and "clean up" as normal...then over to the bidet w which is in VERY close proximity ...squat (Pulling the cheeks open is optional) fire a couple of " ranging" shots of water to the hoop.

    Once the target ( Your Hoop) has been dialled in give her full choke and pressure and watch the few remaining flakes of dried in sh1te succumb to the onslaught and fcuck off down the pluggie.

    Final wipe ..dry off...squirt of Lynx Africa...and your good for Coppers !


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    #71
    EmmetSpiceland
    Registered Users Posts: 10,552 ✭✭✭✭EmmetSpiceland


    Nevin Parsnipp wrote: »
    Final wipe ..dry off...squirt of Lynx Africa...and your good for Coppers !

    A very dangerous “recommendation”, I had a run-in with an aerosol as a young man. Just a little spray but god did it sting.

    The tide is turning…



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    #72
    Nevin Parsnipp
    Registered Users Posts: 832 ✭✭✭Nevin Parsnipp


    EmmetSpiceland wrote: »
    A very dangerous “recommendation”, I had a run-in with an aerosol as a young man. Just a little spray but god did it sting.

    Good point Spicy....should have put in a health warning ...don't squirt Lynx Africa on a bad case of Ball Rash.

    Woulda thought that was kinda basic ...you obviously had plans for knobbing the waitress with the big t1tts from the Shamrock Bar ?

    Understandable...


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    #73
    El Tarangu
    Registered Users Posts: 1,615 ✭✭✭El Tarangu


    LirW wrote: »
    If you have good water pressure upstairs, there's an adapter for the toilet that you can hook up and hose your hole.

    Bum gun is absolutely the way to go.
    • More hygienic - your hand doesn't go anywhere near the fecal matter
    • Better for the environment - a looooad of electricity and water go into making each sheet of toilet paper
    • Less material for the sewer system to handle
    • Cheaper! Much cheaper!
    • You never run out, you don't suffer if there is a run on toilet paper (as now)

    Best of all is the lovely clean refreshed feeling your bumhole feels after a blast of the sphincter rinser :o:o


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    #74
    Galwayguy35
    Registered Users Posts: 16,312 ✭✭✭✭Galwayguy35


    byte wrote: »
    Clag-gone is yer only man! ;)

    020_04012014_09-43.png

    He probably peddled away his ballsack as well.


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    #75
    Purple Mountain
    Registered Users Posts: 13,027 ✭✭✭✭Purple Mountain


    endacl wrote: »
    Don’t do that. Even though the wipes themselves are flushable, a huge proportion of Irish plumbing uses old pipes that can’t handle them.

    Just put them in the bin beside the toilet!

    To thine own self be true



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    #76
    NSAman
    Registered Users Posts: 3,388 ✭✭✭NSAman


    sbsquarepants wrote: »

    What kind of freaky fetishist enjoys squirting cold water on their balloon knot.

    Fúck that shít!


    If you are into Scat then that is your prerogative.

    Some of us have warm water in our Bidets... they work fine, as does a shower head at the side of the toilet (which is very useful in these toilet paper hoarding times)


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    #77
    Grueller Baby
    Registered Users Posts: 87 ✭✭Grueller Baby


    Ah bidets.... the kid's toilet.


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    #78
    Seamai
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,250 ✭✭✭Seamai


    funkey_monkey wrote: »
    How do you dry?
    All toilets (most anyway) are plumbed using only cold water. To get hot water to them would be a sizable job unless you are updating the bathroom anyway.
    Do you do your business on the toilet and then crab walk over to the bidet to blast off the dingle berries?

    I noticed that there always seemed to be a face cloth on the edge of the bidets in restaurant toilets in Portugal. Hope there's not the same one for everyone.


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    #79
    Seamai
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,250 ✭✭✭Seamai


    I'd have found a bidet very useful a few years ago when I had a pilonidal sinus removed. For six weeks I had to sit over the edge of the bath sluicing out my raw man gash with the shower head, three times a day for the first 2 weeks.


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    #80
    NSAman
    Registered Users Posts: 3,388 ✭✭✭NSAman


    Seamai wrote: »
    I'd have found a bidet very useful a few years ago when I had a pilonidal sinus removed. For six weeks I had to sit over the edge of the bath sluicing out my raw man gash with the shower head, three times a day for the first 2 weeks.

    Hopefully your man gash recovered?


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    #81
    haydoyo
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 25 ✭haydoyo


    A sponge is a good way of never having to buy toilet paper.

    Just rinse it out once your done!


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    #82
    the_pen_turner
    Registered Users Posts: 7,506 ✭✭✭the_pen_turner


    Seamai wrote: »
    I'd have found a bidet very useful a few years ago when I had a pilonidal sinus removed. For six weeks I had to sit over the edge of the bath sluicing out my raw man gash with the shower head, three times a day for the first 2 weeks.

    TMI has never been more apropriate


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    #83
    Seamai
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,250 ✭✭✭Seamai


    NSAman wrote: »
    Hopefully your man gash recovered?

    It did perfectly thanks, amazing how something so big filled in leaving just a shiny scar.


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    #84
    Rufeo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 503 ✭✭✭Rufeo


    Some how threads on here always get back to shyte. There's some sick b.astard on here who needs help. Get yourself some help. Haha.


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    #85
    EmmetSpiceland
    Registered Users Posts: 10,552 ✭✭✭✭EmmetSpiceland


    Purple Mountain wrote: »
    Just put them in the bin beside the toilet!

    Like a Greek. So gross.

    The tide is turning…



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    #86
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 0 ✭ [Deleted User]


    you don't need to be concerned with drying your hole really after using bum gun / bidet bottle job / hose

    just a final confirmatory wipe with bog roll will serve the dual purpose to verify that your ring is indeed clean as a whistle and to soak up any remaining water droplets


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    #87
    Ficheall
    Registered Users Posts: 9,018 ✭✭✭Ficheall


    Deebles McBeebles wrote: »
    When you say "baby cream"... Well, its not the stuff you make yourself, is it?
    It is not, no.. I don't think that stuff would help the situation at all.


    https://www.tesco.ie/groceries/Product/Details/?id=301891859


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    #88
    Seamai
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,250 ✭✭✭Seamai


    EmmetSpiceland wrote: »
    Like a Greek. So gross.

    I remember years ago staying in a pension on a small Greek island and coming back one evening after the beach, it was 40 degrees and someone had forgotten to empty the bin.


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    #89
    Hotblack Desiato
    Registered Users Posts: 34,022 ✭✭✭✭Hotblack Desiato


    funkey_monkey wrote: »
    All toilets (most anyway) are plumbed using only cold water. To get hot water to them would be a sizable job unless you are updating the bathroom anyway.

    Yeah, there won't be a waste pipe for a bidet either, so you'll need that too. Who knew that a plumbing fixture would need plumbing...? :rolleyes:

    Life ain't always empty.



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    #90
    FGR
    Registered Users Posts: 2,448 ✭✭✭FGR


    glasso wrote: »
    https://www.amazon.co.uk/Large-650ml-Peri-Bottle-Postpartum/dp/B07FXXT7FH/ref=sxin_4_ac_d_rm?ac_md=2-2-cGVyaSBib3R0bGU%3D-ac_d_rm&cv_ct_cx=bidet+bottle&keywords=bidet+bottle&pd_rd_i=B07FXXT7FH&pd_rd_r=d020f98e-641e-4009-a7b9-38214d3540f2&pd_rd_w=CgAZy&pd_rd_wg=vCbpl&pf_rd_p=121b3348-0e58-4e9d-98fe-f834bdd7238d&pf_rd_r=NP2SM3G7GDEMHGJH06Z0&psc=1&qid=1583854226

    these things are actually brilliant. well worth it!


    334ce609-cbaa-4b66-8861-8067d01d9503.__CR0,0,3024,3024_PT0_SX220_V1___.jpg

    the klingon invaders don't stand a chance with this bad boy.

    no need for a hose.

    The description for this one (amazon's #1 best seller apparently!) is straight to the point!
    Portable Travel Bidet, Personal Bidet Sprayer for Kids Ass Washing,Pregnant Women Cleansing, Postpartum Clean, Handheld Travel Bidet with 450ML Water Capacity and Angled Nozzle Spray


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    #91
    Hotblack Desiato
    Registered Users Posts: 34,022 ✭✭✭✭Hotblack Desiato


    FGR wrote: »
    The description for this one (amazon's #1 best seller apparently!) is straight to the point!

    "Kids Ass Washing"

    Need the mansize version.

    Life ain't always empty.



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