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Why do some women ask for opinions they don't want?

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    #32
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 26,052 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    Widdershins wrote: »
    Hahaha I know, this one always amuses me. What you said is true in my experience. I've dated women and I just drift off in a world of my own and that seems to be the key to being a good listener. I can be quite good at advice too, though. It's just not often wanted, because women do seem to just need to get things off their chest.

    I'm great at giving advice, useless at taking it from anyone but a few family members. :)


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    #33
    s4uv3
    Registered Users Posts: 952 ✭✭✭s4uv3


    If I genuinely don't know whether something looks good on me or I look like a bag of shyte, I have two particular friends that I'll ask. And they'll have no problem saying "nuh uh, state of it". So if they tell me I look deadly, I know it's true.
    As for asking my fella just to fish for compliments, that'd be a fairly pointless endeavour :pac:


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    #34
    Junkyard Tom
    Registered Users Posts: 10,117 ✭✭✭✭Junkyard Tom


    I cut my own hair last week and it looked terrible. My Sister said 'your hair looks terrible' - I said 'I know yeah'.

    Fin.


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    #35
    Widdershins
    Registered Users Posts: 10,633 ✭✭✭✭Widdershins


    Junkyard Tom wrote: »
    I cut my own hair last week and it looked terrible. My Sister said 'your hair looks terrible' - I said 'I know yeah'.

    Fin.

    Did you have a run-in with a lawnmower?


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    #36
    Richard Hillman
    Registered Users Posts: 12,033 ✭✭✭✭Richard Hillman


    It's the equivalent of a Lioness clawing and Fighting with a Lion before she is impressed enough to mate with her.

    The female wants to have a fight with you to test your suitability to protect her and her young. Obviously normal people do not do physical violence like the Lion, so the female is sketching out your verbal prowess for the purpose of protecting her and her child.


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    #37
    Junkyard Tom
    Registered Users Posts: 10,117 ✭✭✭✭Junkyard Tom


    Widdershins wrote: »
    Did you have a run-in with a lawnmower?

    I used a #1 instead of a #2 on the back and sides and went too far up on the left-hand-side so, yeah, it looked like I had a run-in with a lawnmower.


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    #38
    qo2cj1dsne8y4k
    Closed Accounts Posts: 23,646 ✭✭✭✭qo2cj1dsne8y4k


    I'd trust my mans opinion over one of the girls. If it came down to it and he said it looked bad, I'd take his word for it


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    #39
    pickarooney
    Moderators, Arts Moderators Posts: 35,182 Mod ✭✭✭✭pickarooney


    It's fierce tricky when you like a big arse and try to pay a compliment.


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    #40
    Senna
    Registered Users Posts: 8,800 ✭✭✭Senna


    I'm with my wife 16 years now and about 2 years ago I started to actually give her my opinion when she asked me about a dress or shoes etc. (up until that point it was always, yeah sure looks great....), but she said she really wanted me to tell her as her sister had moved to Australia and it was her that normally answered the questions.
    So first time, we're heading our for the night, she comes down with a black dress and then a red dress, I say, I really prefer the red dress, she says OK. 30 minutes later taxi arrives and she's wearing the black dress.
    Few weeks later, same again, green dress then blue dress, I say definitely the blue one is better, 30 minutes later she arrives down in the green one.
    So you can see a pattern here, this continues again and again, it was a running joke and kind of insulting.
    So now I'm back to my normal manly ways, "that's nice honey" , "yeah that looks great" , "sure honey agree 100%......what are we talking about again?".
    Women are nut jobs and any man attempting to understand is even more nuts.


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    #41
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,095 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    Senna wrote: »
    Women are nut jobs and any man attempting to understand is even more nuts.
    That to me is a defeatist take on things, never mind an incredibly generalised one. EB summed up much of it IMH
    Ronald Wailing Powder wrote: »
    Running the risk of giving an actual answer to a rhetorical question, but women do tend towards indirect communication compared to men. There are things implied in questions, subtleties presumed understood etc. Right now I know my granny is annoyed at an aunt of mine, and I know that because my granny gave me a scarf the last time I called to visit her (really).

    You can ask and ask til the cows come home "why can't they be different", but honestly you're better off just accepting what should be blindingly obvious if you've been around women at all in your adult life.


    And it goes both ways, women can get frustrated with the fact that men are usually more direct communicators and just try and complain them into changing rather than adjusting how they communicate - i.e. he's probably not going to be able to interpret your cold mood as "I should empty the dishwasher".

    "Accepted wisdom" is usually like a red rag to a bull to me, so upon hearing the "men can't understand women" guff early on, I endeavoured to call ballsology on that. And in short order found it to be mostly nonsense and/or a way to absolve someone of actually trying.

    This goes both ways too BTW. Yes there can be subtle differences as EB points out, but I have found in many cases it tends to be people playing to the gallery of stereotype. It can also be relationship contextual. IE I have found women mates go in for this "difference" stuff far less than girlfriends are prone to.

    As for a guy being fully understanding? I have found this is often a hiding to nothing. For some women they may complain, but actually revel in the perceived differences(and vice versa). It's in the emotional "conflict" of sorts, the shifting emotional dynamic that they find more comfort and even excitement. Otherwise a romantic relationship can start to smell like a friendship. I have found men tend to prefer emotional stasis, "knowing where they stand" as a general thing. Again men may often complain about the shifting emotions, but actually prefer it overall. Hence the "ah sure women be crazy" stuff. If either party didn't like it, they would leave and few would stay together.

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



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    #42
    pablo128
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,221 ✭✭✭pablo128


    Never try to understand a woman. Women understand other women, and most of the time they feckin hate each other!:pac:


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    #43
    Wibbs
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Society & Culture Moderators Posts: 60,095 Mod ✭✭✭✭Wibbs


    Ahhh.. the Al Bundy meme. Up there with the Monroe guff about if you can't take me at my worst…(NB nigh on always a sign of a PITA).

    Rejoice in the awareness of feeling stupid, for that’s how you end up learning new things. If you’re not aware you’re stupid, you probably are.



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    #44
    MilesMorales1
    Registered Users Posts: 6,431 ✭✭✭MilesMorales1


    Ronald Wailing Powder wrote: »
    Running the risk of giving an actual answer to a rhetorical question, but women do tend towards indirect communication compared to men. There are things implied in questions, subtleties presumed understood etc. Right now I know my granny is annoyed at an aunt of mine, and I know that because my granny gave me a scarf the last time I called to visit her (really).

    You can ask and ask til the cows come home "why can't they be different", but honestly you're better off just accepting what should be blindingly obvious if you've been around women at all in your adult life.


    And it goes both ways, women can get frustrated with the fact that men are usually more direct communicators and just try and complain them into changing rather than adjusting how they communicate - i.e. he's probably not going to be able to interpret your cold mood as "I should empty the dishwasher".


    Direct communication is much simpler though :pac:


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    #45
    lazybones32
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,647 ✭✭✭lazybones32


    To say the woman is asking you, means you get to see her naked (no friend or relative will ask you whether they look nice or like a hippo): always say that what she's wearing makes you want to tear it off her and ravage her.
    You'll either get sex everytime or she'll stop asking.


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    #46
    Widdershins
    Registered Users Posts: 10,633 ✭✭✭✭Widdershins


    MilesMorales1 wrote: »
    Direct communication is much simpler though :pac:

    Yes. Why dance around what you mean. Weird!


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