Why do some women ask for opinions they don't want?

MilesMorales1 · 30-01-2017 9:05pm #1

Women (Some women, not all) ask for your opinions on clothes and hair and all that, and I either give an honest opinion or I say 'yeah its nice that'
And most of the time I'm either reinforcing her opinion or she immediately disagrees and has made her mind up already so why did she bloody well ask me.
I says to her I like it and she says 'no its horrible' or 'you have to like it'
Then why ask?!

osarusan · 30-01-2017 9:06pm

Just say that you are eating your breakfast Kate and it'll be sorted.

Seth Brundle · 30-01-2017 9:07pm

Is the OP a woman and really doesn't want our opinion?

Herb Powell · 30-01-2017 9:07pm

Are you 12 years old, by any chance?

MilesMorales1 · 30-01-2017 9:07pm

kbannon wrote: »

Is the OP a woman and really doesn't want our opinion?

No its horrible.

Hector Bellend · 30-01-2017 9:35pm

Just tell her that her arse looks massive.

She'll not ask again.

maudgonner · 30-01-2017 9:37pm

Hector Bellend wrote: »

Just tell her that her arse looks massive.

She'll not ask again.

In fairness, it's a long way to go to a graveyard to ask questions of a corpse.

jimgoose · 30-01-2017 9:41pm

She wants you to tell her that she looks like Danu, the Earth Goddess. Although she had quite a big arse as well by all accounts, you know that sort of Sophia Loren build. So I'd say the safest way out of it is probably to fake a heart-attack and just hit the deck.

Sue Pa Key Pa · 30-01-2017 9:44pm

Typical Facebook post

"What so you think of my new hairstyle?"

Response; 794 comments of "swit swoo, looking gorgeous babes" . Zero responses of "you look like Mr. Spock"

Samuel T. Cogley · 30-01-2017 9:45pm

Women, eh, eh?

God the pub must be quiet tonight.

whoopsadoodles · 30-01-2017 10:01pm

What "woman" is it that's asking you these difficult questions Miles?

milehip · 30-01-2017 10:15pm

Probably for the same reason that they offer opinions without being asked.

That reason being that the're people and there's nowt as queer as folk.

gifted · 30-01-2017 10:18pm

Just tell her it finished 2 nil....

sjb25 · 30-01-2017 10:19pm

Because...

MilesMorales1 · 30-01-2017 10:20pm

If a woman just wants me to reinforce her opinion though, why doesn't she just ask me to do that? Or ask her stupid friends instead.

SEPT 23 1989 · 30-01-2017 10:28pm

It usually starts with "i have nothing to wear"

Wibbs · 30-01-2017 10:30pm

MilesMorales1 wrote: »

I says to her I like it and she says 'no its horrible' or 'you have to like it'
Then why ask?!

Get a different woman. I find anyone who plays up to a stereotype - and it is one - to be bloody tiresome.

Earthhorse · 30-01-2017 10:30pm

It's to compensate for periods.

30-01-2017 10:32pm

Yes, but does my bum look big in this?

I never ask opinions, if I don't like it I won't do it/wear it and if I do like it then I will. I'm rarely persuaded by a second opinion.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5 · 30-01-2017 10:35pm

Running the risk of giving an actual answer to a rhetorical question, but women do tend towards indirect communication compared to men. There are things implied in questions, subtleties presumed understood etc. Right now I know my granny is annoyed at an aunt of mine, and I know that because my granny gave me a scarf the last time I called to visit her (really).

You can ask and ask til the cows come home "why can't they be different", but honestly you're better off just accepting what should be blindingly obvious if you've been around women at all in your adult life.

And it goes both ways, women can get frustrated with the fact that men are usually more direct communicators and just try and complain them into changing rather than adjusting how they communicate - i.e. he's probably not going to be able to interpret your cold mood as "I should empty the dishwasher".

30-01-2017 10:36pm

MilesMorales1 wrote: »

If a woman just wants me to reinforce her opinion though, why doesn't she just ask me to do that? Or ask her stupid friends instead.

The serious answer is that she's very insecure and second guesses herself. If you want to make her happy ask her what she thinks herself and then agree with her in a vague way so that it backs up her own suspicions in a flattering way. E.g. "Yes, I see what you mean but I think it looks great on you anyway and I didn't notice that issue until you pointed it out"

If you want to make yourself happy, get another girlfriend who trusts her own judgement because having to validate someone's choices all the time is exhausting.

MilesMorales1 · 30-01-2017 10:38pm

It's not a girlfriend I should clarify, its just a friend of mine. We just seem to spend a lot of time together.

Earthhorse · 30-01-2017 10:39pm

Ronald Wailing Powder wrote: »

And it goes both ways, women can get frustrated with the fact that men are usually more direct communicators and just try and complain them into changing rather than adjusting how they communicate - i.e. he's probably not going to be able to interpret your cold mood as "I should empty the dishwasher".

The frustrating thing is I don't even have a dishwasher. What could her cold mood mean? Maybe she is actually cold.

30-01-2017 10:42pm

Ronald Wailing Powder wrote: »

And it goes both ways, women can get frustrated with the fact that men are usually more direct communicators and just try and complain them into changing rather than adjusting how they communicate - i.e. he's probably not going to be able to interpret your cold mood as "I should empty the dishwasher".

Women tell men about a problem and they instantly go into the 'fix' mode. They see an issue presented to them as something to be solved and lay on the advice/instructions.

Then the woman gets frustrated because she just wanted to vent, not be told what to do!

You're right though, it's something to be accepted by both sides. Part of the great mystery of men and women, all those differences and we still like each other. Generally.

Sue Pa Key Pa · 30-01-2017 10:50pm

Candie wrote: »

Women tell men about a problem and they instantly go into the 'fix' mode. They see an issue presented to them as something to be solved and lay on the advice/instructions.

Then the woman gets frustrated because she just wanted to vent, not be told what to do!
)

Yiz is too complicated altogether

30-01-2017 10:54pm

Sue Pa Key Pa wrote: »

Yiz is too complicated altogether

I just said you have to do less, not more - all you have to do is listen with an empathetic expression on your face, you can be thinking about transfer deadlines* or anything else you want!

Jeez, some people are never happy.

*Expression I heard my dad use that appears to be important to men.

Widdershins · 30-01-2017 10:56pm

She wants reassurance. I'd suggest being more enthusiastic when you compliment but also be honest when you're just not keen on something.

Dr Turk Turkelton · 30-01-2017 10:56pm

Had the same sort of problem a couple of weeks ago Op,nothing much happening in the bedroom lately so the wife asked me to go to the doctor and see about erection pills.
Long story short I went and seen the doctor and he gave me a prescription so I went to the chemist and got it filled.
Came home and gave them to her and she flipped out at me cause the doctor prescribed diet pills for her.
Feic trying to make her happy from now on.

Widdershins · 30-01-2017 10:58pm

Candie wrote: »

Women tell men about a problem and they instantly go into the 'fix' mode. They see an issue presented to them as something to be solved and lay on the advice/instructions.

Then the woman gets frustrated because she just wanted to vent, not be told what to do!

You're right though, it's something to be accepted by both sides. Part of the great mystery of men and women, all those differences and we still like each other. Generally.

I love it when my boyfriend fixes a problem or at least sees a new angle. I can then put it out of my mind. He on the other hand prefers a bit of a whinge and feels better after it, leaving my head reeling with worry. Time for two sex changes?

30-01-2017 11:01pm

Widdershins wrote: »

I love it when my boyfriend fixes a problem or at least sees a new angle. I can then put it out of my mind. He on the other hand prefers a bit of a whinge and feels better after it, leaving my head reeling with worry. Time for two sex changes?

Ah it's a generalization, it doesn't apply to everyone.

I don't do the venting thing much, when I do I usually know what action I'm going to take anyway, but sometimes it nice to have your thoughts validated.

Widdershins · 30-01-2017 11:07pm

Candie wrote: »

Ah it's a generalization, it doesn't apply to everyone.

I don't do the venting thing much, when I do I usually know what action I'm going to take anyway, but sometimes it nice to have your thoughts validated.

Hahaha I know, this one always amuses me. What you said is true in my experience. I've dated women and I just drift off in a world of my own and that seems to be the key to being a good listener. I can be quite good at advice too, though. It's just not often wanted, because women do seem to just need to get things off their chest.

Incidentally, I'm wondering if OP gets asked ''what are you thinking?'' in a ''penny for them?'' sort of way, a lot?

I'd be like ''huh? Oh..''*scrabble for acceptable response* '' (I might be thinking, '' oh,my fecking bootlace is undone again and it's been dragging through the puddles for the past ten minutes and it's now soaking wet and disgusting'' )

Why do some women ask for opinions they don't want?

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