Prostitution

simu wrote:

Well, one of my issues with legalisation was that the current stigma that exists about being a prostitute would carry on and that it would still be seen as a job for "other people" (NIMBY but for family and acquaintances rather than geography) and that people who worked as prostitutes would still not be treated very well.

Legalisation would pave the way for acceptance to occur. twenty years ago homosexuality was a huge no no, and yet its alot more acceptable now to the general public. Yes, there is still stigma and bigotry about it, but most gay men/women would agree that the improvements of the last 20 years are better than what went before.... know what I mean?

It takes time for society to change its values, and the only way that people will start accepting Prostitution as being ok, is that it first becomes legal. There's a host of jobs out there that the general public don't want to do themselves, but they recognise that the job needs to be done. prostitution is just one more of those jobs. And people need to start recognising that, and realising that only by making prostitution legal will you improve the lives of every man or woman working in that industry.

simu wrote:

Well, it's possible that things would change like you say but I'm not certain at all that it would happen. It would depend very much on the actual legislation.

Sure it would. In Ireland even the topic of sex is seen as something to be hidden. The opening of sex shops was a massive step forward, and yet public opinion still see's those shops as being shady. Which they are, because people expect them to be shady. The present legistlation towards lap dancing, sex shops, and porn is often presented in a manner of cleaning dirty dishes. We'll legalise it but even the language used will show our distaste for the industry.

As in, I don't think it could just be decriminalised because then you'd have all the people who work as pimps today becoming legit business people and I suspect they would still retain some of their present shadiness.

Agreed. Most lapdancing clubs in Ireland have some degree of relationship with crinimal organisations within Ireland. Abroad it isn't as common, but its still there. Because traditionally the sex industry no matter how legal is seen as being on the fringes of the crinimal world. And yet, the legal sources are becoming more acceptable in this society of ours, which wouldn't have acknowledged it even existing a few decades ago.

But to be honest, I favour decriminalisation not so much to do with the pimps, but rather the improvements that would be brought about for both the prostitutes and the clients. Better medical checks, the possibility of pensions, unions, better standardised pricing, better servicing, regulation of employment (licensing) etc.

But even that aside, most prostitutes have pimps for three main reasons. Protection/security, which wouldn't be needed since they could use the Gardai. Pimping (agents), which could now be avoided if they chose through legimae means of advertisment, and management could be performed on a more professional manner. Addiction/blackmail, regardless of what happens, this will occur.

Also, many of the women in the business today are there because of drug addiction or emotional abuse and so on and such people would be better off getting out of the business imho.

Many? As many as the women that enter for profit? Or they recognised they had something to sell?

I've known prostitutes as both a client and as a friend, and I've never met any, that were in that industry due to drug addiction or emotional abuse. They were in the industry cause they could make more money for less hours, than their college degrees could get them. I'm not saying that there aren't prostitutes forced into the industry, but to categorise the majority as being unwilling is a bit much. From my own personal experience, I've met only one prostitute (in Amsterdam) that had needle marks. In Russia its a different story altogether.

Most folks here are annoymous, so please I'd love to know from those who use prostitutes, why YOU do so.

There's a number of reasons. But I would say that i'm by no means a regular visitor to their services. usually about twice a year, i'll do so. If i'm in Amsterdam , Germany or Spain, it might occur more often.

1) When I was younger (20-25) it was because I was very shy, and the repeated failed attempts got irritating real fast. So when those frustrations occured, an escort was a good option. And back then I didn't mind the impersonal business transaction you get here in Ireland.

2) I also shake, which I mention below. Took me a long time to get comfortable with dating with such a visible difference. Caused some very embarrassing moments, when I was a teenager. I could go to an escort without feeling any embarassment that I vibrate in bed. lol.

2) Nowadays, its for when I'm not in the mood for the usual ****e involved in meeting a woman in a bar. Most of the time its not an issue, but sometimes you get tired of having to go out (most of the night), mingle, sort out the bitches and ugly girls, and finally having to decide. If you meet anyone u want in the first place. lol. Know what I mean?

So, skip it, and just jump straight to the sex element. An hour, maybe two hours later i'm at home watching tv with a contented sigh. Its alot quicker than a meat-market club and sometimes a fair bit cheaper also.

What are the real reasons that men go to prostitutes?

From my experience,
1. Sex. The act of sex. No emotional ties. Just going through the actions, because you've got an itch.

2. Fetishes. You have some interest that either wouldn't be popular on the dating scene, or the idea of a prostitue turns you on. (It was rare 5 years ago that I'd meet Asian women in Ireland, whereas there's a fair number of asian escorts available to meet my Asian interest .

3. Illness/physical difficulty/Whatever. Simply put for many people sex is difficult. There's a variety of conitions, or circumstances, where people feel uncomfortable with women u meet in a bar, either through a disability or some other thing that sets u apart from the average person. (for myself, I shake alot. Kinda like Essential Tremor. I've had it since I was twelve, and its noticeable. For a Long time, it was hard to get past this when with women)
Prostitues/escorts whatever usually don't give a damn about it.

4. Attraction. U see an escort thats very attractive. That escort floats your boat. Whatever.

For my part, any female prostitute I ever met was very good at lying to herself, that it was all ok.

We're all very good at lying to ourselves. We mold the world to fit our prefered reality. When bad things happen, it might be normally someone elses fault, or you're stressed out all day because you enjoy your job. Whatever.

I've met escorts that loved their work. They actually enjoyed having sex . At the same time, I've known escorts that merely thought of it as a job, no different that women giving massages, or dancers. And I've met escorts that really hated their jobs, but were so ****ed up they'd never leave it until their looks disappeared.

I've met many escorts through the years. Some as friends, more for just sex. Escorts, are no different than us for the most part. The only difference is that they're willing to have sex for money. After all, we're willing to sell our limited [life] time in many cases for lower money than escorts can get. Maybe its us thats lying to ourselves, that suggests that sex has to be a wonderfully intimate, pure, and loving act.......?

If it was strictly a matter of money and of paying for a service, then why go out with, or marry, or have a partner at all?

I wouldn't marry an escort, but I'm willing to have sex with them. Just as I'm willing to have sex with women I meet in bars/clubs, but I don't want to marry them. Sometimes I'm prepared to have a girlfriend and all that it entails, sometimes now.

This is about choice. A or B or C. Choose.

The funny thing I find about this whole area, is that I've never felt any issues about escorts. Just as I've never had issues with priests and nuns choosing to be celibate. Or guys/gals who want to meet someone at 15 and marry that same person 3,5, 10 years later. I might not understand it, but as long as it doesn't harm anyone, whats the problem?

My question here is, I guess, why do both? Go to prostitutes and have steady relationships...at the same time?

I've never cheated in a relationship. Simple. Its never appealed to me. My core beliefs about myself, tell me that I wouldn't enjoy doing it or the consequences. Now, if I want someone else, I'll break up and move on, but nah, not my sort of thing.

But I would question you about something. There's been many occasions where both men and women cheat in a relationship, with people they meet in clubs/bars or through friends, whatever. They have sex with a stranger, or someone they actually know. However, its not their partner. If thats the case, why do both? Cause the only difference between this scenario and one with an escort, its the exchanging of money.........

Wicknight wrote:

True, but I doubt someone would be telling people they are with an escort.

I have. Also my friends, if they have partaken in it, have said it. This isn't sitting around boasting about it, but rather an acknowledgement that there's noting wrong with being with an escort. Its not a big deal, despite what some people seem to think.

example: My parents don't exactly advertise that they have dentures. They may talk about it as a subject but they won't shout from a soapbox about it. Its not as if its a big deal afterall.

The reason one hires an escort is to pretend you didn't need to. You are hiring them to make it look like you didn't need to hire an escort.

No. That would be your reason if you hired an escort. My own reasons are listed above. :rolleyes:

[Wicknight, Have you ever been with an escort? No? Then how do you know the one reason? And if you have, then that reason would be your own not everyones......]

I think that is what Dublin means when he says paying someone to be your friend, to make it look like you have friends. If you actually did you wouldn't need to pay someone to be your friend. Which is kinda sad, but i suppose everyone needs to pretend now and again

Depends what you include as escorts. If you're talking about a high class escort and taking her for a dinner, a graduation, an award ceremony etc, then sure, there is a degree of pretending involved. However if you're paying for a 1 hour shag, the only pretending involved is to make the experience more enjoyable. The pretending doesn't last longer than when you're once again outside her door.

Only the very rich could afford to have escorts (being paid) to act as their friends. Look at the prices involved and you'll understand.

Wicknight wrote:

You seem to not understand what foreplay is. If its your choice then that isn't foreplay.

The idea of foreplay is for the other person, if you don't care about the other persons enjoyment, or couldn't tell if the other person is enjoying it or not (since they are paid to look like they are) then the idea of foreplay is nonsensical, it is a fantasy just like the rest of the sex

Actually I do know what foreplay is. Just because she's selling her body, doesn't mean you can't try to give her pleasure. And foreplay is for both people. I actually enjoy it myself.

But then again, I have had experiences where I didn't care whether she enjoyed it or not. It was for my pleasure in those instances, and I went to an escort for that very reason.