Things you want to say to husband/boyf/ex's/friends/family/people MOD NOTE POST #1

edenbridge146 · 10-02-2011 11:36pm

Dear P,

I'm sorry I lied when I said I loved you.
Thought it was real, but deep down I knew my heart was else where.
However you have no ownership on me and I shouldn't have to explain to you my actions. Don't appreciate the constant texting, or calling.
Its time to say good bye

LegacyUser · 10-02-2011 11:47pm

This has been so cathartic everyone, reading through this thread, there's been some beautiful pieces here. Time to share mine...

Dear "The Boss".

I still love you. Not in the way that I used to, because honest to god, that was killing me. I grieved for us for almost five years, despite us only lasting for less than 8 months. Yet there'll always be a part of my heart and soul that's yours til I die. People think I'm so positive about life because of my family and our upbringing. They're really only half the reason-you're the other half. I never believed in soulmates, or falling in love in an instant, until that kiss. The earth did move, it spun around and threw everything I was sure of into disarray. The builders across the road jeered at the two of us, kissing in the middle of the road (jesus-is that car coming towards us? nah, it's gotta stop at that red light first! ok, kiss me again!)
After we kissed you hugged me for an eternity. All I could smell was your aftershave, the comforting fleece on your jacket....when I get that smell, and close my eyes, I travel back to that moment when the world and everything in it seemed so perfect. Every moment we spent together after that seemed perfect too. I never understood why people talked about "making love" until our first time. It was love, pure, and perfect, and so wonderful.

A few months on, when I had to leave, I cried, all 500+ miles home. From the house to the ferry, on the ferry, on the roads and countries from the ferry back to my parents house. My brother had met me at the ferry port to drive home with me, and stopped the car just down the road from Mum and Dads to give out to me, telling me how much they were looking forward to seeing me, and asking me to please stop crying. I got out and stood outside the car for another 1/2 hour on a freezing cold night, looking at the stars, howling; there's no other word to describe the noise I made as the tears choked their way out-my heart physically ached. You'd told me to look for the North Star each night, that we'd say goodnight to each other on it. It's been 7 years since then, and each night, I still look for it.

Your cards and letters still arrive to their house, little things about your daily life-I pray they never move, because you never include a return address. I love this time of year, you send me several cards, each one sillier and sweeter than the last. If I could change anything in my life, I'd never have left. Ever. But that was then, and this is now. You always told me to deal with the situations I found myself in, and not to worry about things that I couldn't do anything about.

So all I can do is keep that part of your heart you claim I took away with me in exchange for the part of mine you took. And thank you for all your wonderfulness, for making me feel the most beautiful, most wanted, most cared for woman on this earth. When things are bad, I remember that first kiss, the look in your eyes as you stole my soul, and the hug that followed it, and I feel ok again.

Every relationship since then has floundered, not because they're not you, but because they don't make me feel the way you made me feel. You always told me that if I wasn't happy with life, deal with it-so I do, I move on. I hope someday I meet a guy who makes me feel the way I did when we were together. I won't hope for us to somehow meet again, because I think our time together has passed....but wasn't it so beautiful?

Thank you so much....with love from me...XxX

you wha? · 11-02-2011 12:05am

Dear S,
our "relationship" has been quite crazy and the guilt of what we were doing got to me for a while but then i ended up with nothing but anger towards you.but then when you needed that shoulder to cry on,you knew id be there for you and seeing you open up to me like that really affected me.i dont want to start liking you again because i know i dont mean as much to you as you do to me, but just thinking of you gets me down now and i dont think i can help you anymore.if things were different,you know what they are!,then maybe,but....
x

Dear P,
you are probably reading this,and even though you pathetic childishness has consumed you,i still am mad about you.never wanted someone so much.

i miss you loads and that will never change.im sorry and i know you are but it still hurts as much as when it happened.
x

boomkatalog · 11-02-2011 1:20am

Dear J,
I haven't it even in my heart to anonymously write anything bad about you, despite what you've put me through. I forgive you, I hope you never find out that I know what I do.

Dear K,
Stop being an idiot, and realise what I'm worth to you before you really f**k this up.

Dear G,
Please stop driving the way you do. Please stop coming home smelling of drugs. Please stop going off for days and never seeing any of us. I'm terrified of something happening to you.You're meant to be the one looking out for me.

LegacyUser · 11-02-2011 5:38pm

Dear B.,

It took a few years, but I'm finally over the fact that you broke my arm and left me with a scar. We fought like cats and dogs and I accept that I was as bad as you when it came to rows, but there was no excuse for you to turn it physical.

We had good times as well as bad and I know I came out of that relationship a better and stronger person. I wish you happiness, but I never, ever, ever want to see you again.

clicli · 12-02-2011 1:03am

Dear Mom,
I miss you so so much. Even now, four years later I can't stop crying when I think of you. I just watched something on TV where a main characters mother died alone in a hotel room. And all I can think of is you. I know life was hard, and you couldn't talk about it. And I know you tried. I know. But please just know I loved you so much. I know you thought your best wasn't good enough but it was good enough for me.
I just hope your at peace now
I miss you every day
I still love you and wish I could talk to you

LegacyUser · 12-02-2011 5:19am

Howya gorgeous,

I've tried to share my recent feelings about a million times as of late. I know you see it in my eyes, but all you've continutally done is laughed at me telling me to stop blagarding, telling me I'm full of ****e and the killer line that "I'm not getting the ride again". If only you knew (which I think you do). Your belief of my intentions couldn't be further from the truth.

I can remember vividly meeting you in UCD nearly six years ago now. I can count on the legs of a trousers how many time I've met someone and upon sharing a handshake I instantly felt butterflies in my stomach. Just an electrical chemistry. It was hilarious cause it was clear everyone saw it too. Everyone was like FFS go out with each other, instead we spent whole first year in college sharing drunken encounters nearly every night we were out.

I knew we really should have made a go of it. But tbh I was totally immature not in a bad way but I really hadn't grown up and at the time didn't know my arse and my elbow. Alas even though we weren't together we were like peas and carrots for years. We were pretty much each others shadows. Our relationship at the time was sooo weird we were a set in stone team in peoples eyes but it was stupidly casual. Then you found yourself a boyfriend and I went touring and whoring with a shed load of girls. I hate to admit but I thought they were all better than you. With you I often thought I don't want a relationship with her for a reason "She's a bit chubby, she's too easy, I have it good as it is etc. etc." Again this highlights my immaturity at the time. Fearful at what the lads would say.

Anyway still the best of buds joined at the hip. Then there was that night in the city, It is like the two of us met at a crossroad of relationships and girlfriends and boyfriends. You could argue it was a bit of a trainwreak. I hate to sound cocky or presumous as I'm stating in a public forum, but I know for a fact that night (or probably around that time) it had become something a bit more serious for you. I remember you sending me "desparate" texts. You were throwing yourself at me. I never took the piss but I really didn't give you are your advances two minutes thought.

So we, or I at least did ploughed on being peas and carrots for our final years. Last year when you broke up with P I gave you a shoulder to cry on. I jokingly laughed and with a quick wink bragged about how great my realtionship was. Two weeks later when I hit the skids you were the first person I called. I realised then you are definitely one of my true friends. Roll on being partners in crime going on the tear and have a blast along the way. In an attempt to get over my heartbroken I willingly got off with two of your new work mates. I was blind to you, how you felt or how I would inevitably feel. Soon we were graduated thus returning home so we didn't see each other as much.

This is the part of the story I haven't had the balls to share with you. Mainly due to how arsey it sounds. I went sking with the lads in august. On the last night we went to dinner and the waitress came over, she was one million percent your doppleganger. I really hate saying this because it sounds like something out of a click lit novel. But I hit me for six, I got that very same feeling as the first time I met you. I went a quiet as a mouse. It was that very moment I realised that I was absolutely mad about you. The penny had dropped that I loved ya to pieces. It was funny because my daydream was interupted by one of the lads nudging me and telling me he thought the waitress was the spit of you.

I called ya when I got back to Dublin. With the two of us both in Dublin over the last few months we've been out quite a bit and I've told ya with any chance ya give me. It is soo obivious you are so beyond it at this stage. This doesn't break my heart but I curse myself for not realising just how great you are, how great we are at the time. I met the guy I'm sure will be your boyfriend soon and it wasn't a feeling of jealous. In my head I was facepalming as if to say R ya fecking eejit look what you missed out on. I genuinely was chuffed you seem happy as Larry. I've come to the conclusion that you will always be (Forrest Gump) "My Guurl". I'm a full of cliches that though this expirience I found to be true.

You're like my little sister. If anyone would ever hurt you I'd break them in two.

I AM legit happy for you. There I is nobody I wish the best for more than you. (And you know me I'm the most begrudging jealous person in the world)

You are awesome, I do actually seem in awe at time when I look at you, and you are the most beautiful person inside and out by country mile.

I don't think I was ever a prick or a dick to you, but if I was I'm soo sorry. If in fact we ever did make a go of it I would treat you like my queen. You are a gem. I know if I ever had a problem you would do anything to help I only hope you view me with even half the amount of love I have for you.

I've done a zillion regretable things and I'm sure you can name everyone of them. But the only regret I hold is not making you my infinitely better when I had the chance in college. The girls I was occupying myself with don't even hold a ounce of my heart but you I know will have a significant piece of real estate in my heart.

*oops 1000000 words and I finally get choked up*

Thank you for being one my best friends.

Thank you for giving me and continuting to give me so many great memories

Thank you for never being nothing but cool to me

Thank you for being one of the greatest things to happen me and one of the greatest thing to never happen me.

Thank you for your texts. No matter how bad my day they always make me smile.

Thank you for being you.

Sorry for being an idiot.

It might not seem so but I love you so much. If you ever want or need anything I'm only a phone call away.

x

mimi7365 · 12-02-2011 5:19pm

Letter to my beautiful daughter (aged 22),

Its been three weeks since I waved you off to Australia at Dublin airport. I'm sorry I broke down as I hugged you goodbye but I just couldn't stop the tears. I hope you could feel all of my love in those hugs because God knows when I'll be able to hug you again. I miss you so much that sometimes I find it hard to breathe.

All my love
Mam x

LegacyUser · 13-02-2011 8:24pm

Dear J,

I want to tell you that my biggest fear is losing you.Not in the way people think - that you might leave - but because I'm terrified that I might wake up some day and realise that I don't love you, or that I've retreated so far into my panic that the only way out is to leave for a while. I'm so scared, because I vaguely remember when we started going out - I wasn't attracted to you physically, but you were my best friend. You were always there when I needed someone, even then I could tell you anything. And the night we eventually got together, everything just felt so right. Yet for some reason, all these years later, the terror resurfaces and takes hold of me now and then. I don't understand why sometimes I can have those thoughts, leave them, and be happy that I have you in the here and now....and then sometimes, they can possess me for months on end, and terrify the life out of me.

You are----fantastic. You're funny, you make me laugh, you take care of me, your love shines out of your gorgeous eyes all the time. You hold my hand walking down the street, you hug me when I need to cry and you ignore me when I'm cranky!You help with the dishes, you clean the house with me, you trek around the shops with me, you encourage me every day to be nicer to myself, and to realise that I'm not a bad person.You love me, all of me, regardless of what I say or do.You're there when I need you and even when I don't!

I feel so much guilt at even thinking these weird thoughts - because I love you so much, I don't ever want to hurt you. I'm just so happy to be engaged - to think that you'll officially be mine soon! I know I'm having a tough time right now though, and life has dealt me a couple of hard blows.But I hope that you will always be there with me, that we'll be together no matter what.

I love you more than I can ever tell you, you know.

P

Kiva.D · 13-02-2011 8:57pm

To my heart - forgive yourself, enough already! You couldn't possibly know you would lose the love of your life at such a tender age... Life can go on, even beautifully, YES, without him! You don't believe it now, but he was the fool, not you! It was not you who lost the love of her life (that love still lives in your heart), it was he who lost his soul mate, by his own choosing. If you must feel sorry for anyone, pity him! For he must live with someone who does not love him as much as you - what a deplorable existence that must be. Take that tremendous love you have for him and live on! Life is calling you back from the depths of "what-should-have-been" ! Don't waste another precious breathe of life on a false illusion of loss.

Marlboro82 · 14-02-2011 6:17am

Dear Dad,

How did you just walk away? How do you make it look so easy, ok you were young and probably scared but now where are you? You probably think I never think of you but I do all the time, and it makes me angry.
You left me with no man in my life, no one to mind me or protect me, you made me the woman with ten foot walls no one dares to climb. Christ I hope you have regrets about it and I hope they make you physically ill because of the shame of what you did

Dear G,

Seriously of all the men why did it have to be you??

Dear SM,

I hate you more than I could ever put into words, you ruined my family life, you ruined my mother and I actually cannot wait until the day you die so we might have peace.

Dear E,

You are without a shadow of doubt the other half of me and the greatest bessie mate ever, it scares me to think of life without you. Sorry its always so bloody dramatic around me, itching for the quiet life to kick in!

Dear Mam,

Someday it will all be over and we will go back to our nice normal life, you are the greatest woman in the world and I spend my time trying to live up to you. I get angry with you because you deserved happiness you shouldn't have a life like this, and I have to sit back and watch.. watch as the woman I know and love slowly disappears.. don't change too much mam you're actually all I have and I couldn't bear to lose you..

LegacyUser · 14-02-2011 12:03pm

Dear you..

I love you and I want you to be happy, but I'm only human, and the flirting isn't easy to take. I know it's double standards, but I guess it's only natural. The sad thing is that, she doesn't have a clue what she's getting in to, that there's so much more to you than meets the eye. And I doubt you'll ever tell her, because I know you regret telling me. But it makes me so angry, because I accepted that part of you, and I tried so so hard - yet it just wasn't enough...

I genuinely hope you learn to be happy, and if that's with someone else then I'll try to be ok with that, because when you love someone you want what's best for them. And we're just not what's best for each other.

Please smile, smile every time you think of me, and never ever forget what we had - never forget me. I truly believe you were my soulmate, the person I was meant to be with forever, even if forever only lasted for a little while. Some people spend their whole lives looking for someone to love, but I'm one of the lucky ones, I found you...and that short time we had was worth it.

nodirectionhome · 14-02-2011 6:55pm

Family,
Thanks for everything. I'd be lost without you all.

K,
What we are doing is messed up and needs to stop- could ruin alot of things for both of us if people found out, but I love having you in my life, and can't let you go

F,
You were right that is the way it happened, though I will never admit it.
But your still an asshole, and I did the right thing though it nearly killed me.

M,
I regret giving you a second chance, you ended things horribly, and made a show of me and I did nothing to deserve it. I know exactly what you were up to and it's to my eternal regret that I turned a blind eye for the sake of what I perceived to be a good life with you. How wrong was I? I hope you will always be lonely, and desperate. Your selfish and emotionally retarded.

B,
I miss you x

Girls,
I wish I could be more honest with ye, I put on a brave face and pretend I love my life- but really I wish things could be different and I was more in tune with you all

Epilepsy- I really don't like you. You have controlled various areas of my life for 5 years now.

Hope- I will always hold on to you!

Positivity- please stay near me, I believe you are the key to my future, and some days you really work!!

W- I still wonder what could have been and think you are beautiful x

tinabyrne5 · 20-02-2011 12:04am

Dear _______.

When we got together 13 years ago you treated me like a princess, you gave me everything I ever wanted..You made me smile!..For the first time in my life I truly felt happy, loved and secure.
That was until you start hitting me! The first time was really hard for me to come to terms with and I knew in my own heart that things would only get worse but wanted so much to make things work, to believe it would never happen again...that was 11 years ago and I have been on the receiving of your anger so many times since then. I'm done, I have nothing else to give...Please leave, I don't love you anymore.

gcgirl · 20-02-2011 10:04am

Dear S
You rang 2 days after your daughter spent 6 and a half hours in surgery and 2 and a half hours in recovery, its not as if i did not tell you what date it was !you have favoured your new son n wife over your previous relationship 3 kids, you fail to give the kids any of your time And where as when I try to get the kids view and about reguler access n not turning up for 5 weeks or longer across you put the blame on me like yesterday you said hope your happy now you have won? Like WTF it seems to me your always trying to put the blame on someone else for your actions and the kids are fine with out your sporadic imput

Yours
24hours 7 days a week 52 weeks a yr
Mum

LegacyUser · 21-02-2011 1:23am

Dear you...

Today I woke up, and I smiled.

I smiled because I realised I'm starting to feel more like myself again, I'm starting to get back the pieces of myself that I lost when I was caught up in you. I couldn't see it at the time, but you could, you could see that you were dragging me down. You could see how much I was hurting, and god it must have killed you, you were suffering enough with your own pain but to see mine must have made it ten times worse. I tried to hide it from you, but I know now that it was pointless - you could see right through me.

I wanted to help, but I think that accepting we were over was the best way I could have ever helped you. You seem happier now, you really do, and it makes me smile

I know you didn't think you could ever be with anyone, but I hope that some day you change your mind, because I know you have so so much to give...and I want you to be happy. I want you to have the life and love you so deserve.

Thank you; thank you for showing me what it is to be loved so so much, to be cared for, and to feel a kind of love that hit depths within my heart that I never knew existed. Thank you for your selflessness, for the sacrifice you made to save yourself and to save me...it can't have been easy. We both knew it was the right thing, deep inside, but I just didn't have the courage to admit it...until now. Thank you for having the strength to do that, at a time when I just couldn't...a time when losing you felt like losing my whole world.

Be happy, find someone to love, and love them with all of your heart. Live your life not as if there's no tomorrow - but knowing that you have a million more tomorrows; and never look back with regret on yesterday, because I'm your yesterday...and I don't regret a thing.

Find another someone to offer you that morning yogurt, so that maybe you'll fall in love

With all of my love,
The girl who held your hand x

LegacyUser · 22-02-2011 5:05pm

Dear C,

Why is distance such a problem? Why do we live at opposite ends of the country? We do I not have a car to see you again? Why is this so bloody awkward?

Don't you see I really miss you? Don't you know that in the last few months, you have grabbed my heart and ran away with it? Can you please give me yours, so I at least have something to fill up this gap? Don't you know that I'm falling badly for you, for our conversations that lead no-where, for our jokes and for our laughs?

I know we are both extremely busy right now with our own lives, but can you please visit soon?

Lots of love
Me...

Kimia · 22-02-2011 7:44pm

Dear universe/energy/god etc,

Thank you so much for everything. I am the luckiest person in the world. I have an amazing family, brilliant friends and the most beautiful, gorgeous, nicest man ever and 6 years on we still fancy each other which is so cool!

I have always been lucky. Well maybe not when I was a kid with the breakup and all but I am happy to have had such a great life. I have so much love in my life, and to be successful on top of it all is the icing on the cake. I love my life.

The only thing I would ask for is please help me out with the anxiety. It's weird but when everything is sooo great, I also have to live with the terror of losing it all. It haunts me and is always at the back of my mind like a shadow, so please give me the strength to ignore it and go on appreciating what I have, because I have a lot.

Thanks again,
Kimia xxx

lil'bug · 23-02-2011 11:07pm

Sister
You put me down, you beat me, you tormented me. I was your baby sister and you treated me like dirt.I was always the joke, the freak. I fell in love and you tried to destroy it.
you failed!
I'm still scared of you but will never controll my life again
FCUK YOU!!!!!!

mojesius · 23-02-2011 11:39pm

Dear oh dear oh me,

Some people don't deserve a second chance. Stop listening to your head, it's full of crazy dreams. Trust your heart, stop blocking out what it's been telling you to do all along.

Dear S

You're a f*cking dickwad. I won't change myself to suit your plastic life.

daenerysstormborn3 · 25-02-2011 4:53pm

Dear J

Please get her out of your life. I'm inches away from saying "it's me or her".

akamossy · 25-02-2011 8:28pm

Dear _________

I've finally realised what you did to me four years has been affecting every aspect of my life since and I have been letting it. I've screwed up in a number of ways, not being able to appreciate myself and hating myself for who I am and who I have become. I simply can't forgive you no matter how hard I try or how much I want to. It saddens me that it has all come to this and that I have hurt the people I care about as an aftershock of being put through such a traumatic time! I do not blame you for everything but I also have come to realise that it is not all my fault either and that I cannot be that bad a person that I deserved all of that.

S

beks101 · 26-02-2011 6:30am

MyGurrl wrote: »

Thank you for being one my best friends.

Thank you for giving me and continuting to give me so many great memories

Thank you for never being nothing but cool to me

Thank you for being one of the greatest things to happen me and one of the greatest thing to never happen me.

Thank you for your texts. No matter how bad my day they always make me smile.

Thank you for being you.

Sorry for being an idiot.

It might not seem so but I love you so much. If you ever want or need anything I'm only a phone call away.

x

Jesus 'My gurrl', I'm in bits here.

PLEASE TELL HER!!!!

bigtuna · 26-02-2011 9:17am

Should go unreg but I'm not ashamed anymore

Dear ______,
You drug raped me and stole my virginity and then moved back to England the next day to your wife and kids. You have stolen so much from me for too long. My freedom, my trust in other people, my confidence and hope for myself. Well know I want to say I forgive you because this hate is only holding me back. I am taking back what you stole from me. It's just a shame it has taken me so long.

Dear _____,
You were the first person I trusted after my attack and that took a lot. You cheated and left me devastated. You have now left her and another in about €20,000 in debt. Thanks for cheating. Never thought I would say that!

To my wonderful best friends,
I love the bones off you all. Without you all I would not have survived the last few years. We may not see each other all the time but we are only a phone call away. I am really blessed to have so many wonderful friends around me.
Thanks for the laughs, tears, drama, craziness, support, hugs and for just being who you are. xxxxx

LegacyUser · 26-02-2011 9:07pm

Dear C,

After 20 or so years of friendship, I've finally realised that you are no friend at all. Its sad, but true. The thing is you could have prevented this, but instead you have to act like a complete c*nty b*tch. All the times you let me down, made me feel bad about myself, put me down and you wonder why I DON'T call around to yours anymore???

Do you remember that time I stupidly thought we were close and rang you very upset about a breakup and wanted to call down to yours, and when I got there, 10 mins later, you had all the lights turned off so I would think you weren't there and just leave? Well **** you! Honestly you are a horrible, horrible person, and that was a horrible way to treat someone you call a good friend!

If you consider me a good friend then I really pity your enemies.

Stop being so self centred and realise I have feelings too and you are NOT better than me. I've been a much better friend to you, much more than you ever deserve! But that stops now!

lauren12 · 26-02-2011 9:22pm

Kablamo! wrote: »

My Dearest Daddy,
You always told me I didn't appreciate you enough- then start humming "You'll never miss your mother 'til she's buried beneath the clay".
You were absolutely spot on. I just never imagined that you would leave us so soon, or that there would be such a void left in my life.
The past year or so of our relationship we fought like cat and dog. With the benefit of hindsight I know now why: I am you. I have your temper, you mannerisms, but most of all your stubborn nature. This horrifies and amuses me in equal measure .
If I could turn back the clock, well...
When you dropped me to secondary school and asked for a kiss at the gates? I wouldn't worry about looking 'cool'. When you told me stories about your childhood, instead of turning up the volume on the radio, I would have given you my full attention. Instead of getting frustrated by your pushing me to go to college, get a job, whatever, I would have realised that you never wanted to pressurize me... You were just so proud of me you thought the world needed to know what I can do.
My last words to you would change- I told you to "F off and die", and funnily enough, you had a heart attack a few hours later. The first time you ever did what I told you to. Knowing what I do now, I'd tell you that you were great, you were the best, and I was so lucky and blessed to have you for my father.
Love, eternally,
Your Little Girl x

Sweetie, that quote has made me seriously sad and touched me so much. I am so so sorry for your loss. Thank you for sharing that. xx

lauren12 · 26-02-2011 9:31pm

One thing I have learned from ALL my volumes of "wisdom" on this planet is that if there is something that you need to say to someone that is hurting you; say it...
I have kept things in and it was purely out of fear, and as soon as I said them out loud to the person,and when I said it it felt like such a weight off like ya know what this isn't MY problem anymore...I was getting hurt and hiding it and that was doing me no good.

Stay cool people

LegacyUser · 27-02-2011 3:56am

Dear Col,

there is so much i want to say to you , 4 years ago i had a chance to restart our relationship but i choose to try and save my relationship with my partner of 2 years over you as i hadnt seen you in 3 years and i let my head rule my heart, you told me never to contact you again after that

Now all i want is to have that chance we had that day . i know that after so long you would have nothing to do with me . in all likelihood you are married now . the only thing that kept us apart was a long distance relationship, now i live in the same city as you . im too afraid to contact you now, i know i've caused you hurt in the past and for that im sorry . i hope you have a happy live . there will always be a hole in my heart for you .

Always yours

KY

squeakyduck · 27-02-2011 4:05pm

Dear N,

I was never out to get you, I tried to be nice but you threw it back in my face, I know some ****ed up **** happened and we fought a lot but Christ I have NO interest in him anymore. Not in that way.

I gave you so many chances, all wasted breaths. Stop attacking me.

SD

LegacyUser · 27-02-2011 4:55pm

hey s
we miss you more and more everyday. you left us all on such short notice without time to actually ask you how u felt about dying. we never got a chance to show you why you wer our best friend in the world. the three of us know no that your watching us and laughing at how ridiculous trying to get n a man really is. well mainly other s's way of going about it. you'd have told her to cop on:) i smile everytime i see a french film or think of paris even those daft nites out in coppers. but we're all getting closer and closer to thirty and your not with us to celebrate but just remember anything that we may have done was stupid and naive. you helped us become better people and even though your not with us anymore s the three of us will remember you till the day we meet you on the other side.
lov
n,n,s
we love u r beautiful girl

ironictoaster · 05-03-2011 5:31am

Sorry people, going to be a long one. Need to get it off my chest.

Dear A,

When I first met you, I had the biggest crush on you ever since summer. We had an unreal amount in common, so much more than anyone I know. I knew I really liked you when I realised had to repeatively delete my inbox on my phone after the ridiculously long conversations we had and countless chats on facebook about the most random things. During our 1st year of college, I finally grew a pair and told you how I felt face to face. Unrequited love at it's finest. I recently found you're relationship with a guy back from your home country, I was saddened and hurt, but I got over it eventually.

However, what you have done tonight has killed a small part of me as well my confidence on getting close to anyone again. I cannot sleep or eat hence why I am on the internet so late. A small part of me is thinking why him over me. it's like you knew what I was about to witness was going to **** with my head for a very long time. The fact it was one of my few friends doesn't help either

I hope that poor guy knows from your country know what he's getting himself into when he travels way half across the world to come over here next week after saving for months just for you.

The sickening thing is while I am angry and extremely hurt, I feel I cannot cut you loose from my life I cannot explain why, but I know I cannot. Maybe I still like you for some reason or feel we are too close to stop being friends, I have no idea.

I shall sleep now and I know I will wake to your ritual morning text message just to remind about last night.

What to reply back, I'll never know.

C

LouLou65 · 05-03-2011 8:26pm

Dear J,

Please stop playing "Call of Duty"!

LegacyUser · 07-03-2011 11:33am

I don't love my mother. There, I said it, those 5 words that seem to instil a look of horror on so many faces and consequently deafen the voice of reason. I don’t blame them, they simply can’t comprehend the notion, and for that I envy them – god I envy them. Over the years I’ve heard so many different variations of the perfect family, so many that I don’t’ think anyone can justify themselves in claiming to have discovered such an entity. Our society is one born out of individuals, of individual needs, loves, hopes and dreams. The things that make you tick are the things that make you ‘you’, and the people you love are the people who help to shape you into the person you will become. I think my mother shaped me in some ways. I hate to think it but I know it’s true, and I guess that means I must have loved her once...only I can’t remember when that was.

When people speak about the ‘maternal’ bond it makes me smile at their naivety, it seems this cynicism has taken a hold of me, such a hold that I simply can’t accept that kind of love anymore; I have to question it’s every move – and it’s very existence. It’s an animal’s instinct to protect its young, but I question the human ability to do the same. The problem with humanity is that there are so many other factors which threaten this instinct, mainly the selfishness which is all too prevalent in our nature. Like I said, I don’t recall when I stopped loving her, or if in fact I ever did. It’s hard to explain, but she’s never really been a part of my life, merely an obstacle that had to be constantly overcome. Until eventually, I found a different path where it ceased to exist - where she ceased to exist.

The memories are still there, but I try to keep them in a little box in the back of my mind. I worry that someday someone will find that box and discover all these little doubts she’s left behind, this mark she’s left on me. Sometimes I worry, because I’m a part of her, and no part of her was good, so where does that leave me? Sometimes I wonder, if I can’t forgive then how can I ever expect to be the best person I can be, how can I rid her hold of me, how can I make sure she never hurts me again? I took the path less followed, for a follower I am not, but I constantly look behind me in fear of whom I lead; what if the trait runs deep, what if I let them down.

I want to explain, I want to show the world who she really is and curse her for what she’s done, but I don’t really know where to begin. I don’t know when my heart broke, or whether it was ever whole.

ennis81 · 07-03-2011 12:25pm

KM
I was a good friend to u and you repaid me with lies and deceit, u were the nastist person I Ever had the misfortune to meet, hope ur happy with the hoe train SO glad u are gone from my life...everything that happened was a blessing in disguise...thank you for teaching me the lesson of a lifetime

S,E & A
You were crap cardboard friends, good ridance you hypocrites

G
I loved ya when we were kids and i love u still, thank u for always lovin me and never givin up on me......we'll get there XXXXX

L
Me baby your my heart, you make me smile every single day, please don't turn into a horrible teenager!!!!

My parents and sis
Words can't express how much u mean to me, thanx for putting your own needs aside to help me XXXX

My friends
You's all ROCK, Love you's to bits thanx for always being there XXXX

To anyone I have hurt in the past
I'm very sorry, I'm older and wiser now and try to treat everyone as I would like to be treated

Love from me
(wonderful thread)

Abi · 07-03-2011 9:27pm

To my Nanna and grandad (Dads parents): We all miss you so much, I wish I had more time with you both. My Dad is heartbroken without you.

P.S... the cat keeps shitting all over the garden, and you know my mother! [=

To Grandad (Mom's daddy): The house is like one without a heart and soul without you there. What have they done to your green-house? It's a sad sight without your tomatoes and grapes growing. Please help my mom and the girls to sort out the problem with granny.

To my ex: You need help, please leave me alone. Every day you don't accept we're through is another day of hell for me. Stop the calls, stop the texts... just let me go.

LegacyUser · 07-03-2011 11:53pm

Dear X,

i think about you more than is natural..... i check your facebook page every day thinking i should add you as a friend, but i'm terrified...... i daydream about bumping into you on the street and catching up....... i imagine what it would be like if we were together.... the age gap is huge, you're in a committed realtionship and we have nothing in common but I'm still drawn to you..... despite you being almost a stranger..... i lye in bed at night, very still, trying to remember what your face looks like...... if you knew any of this you'd be creeped out, and i woldn't blame you..... sorry......

a compliment you paid me a long long time ago rings in my ears....you'd probably never have said it if you thought I'd take it this way, and yet it's only lately that i've been thinking of you...... i never did while i still knew you.

id wonder what you're doing right now, but i'd prefer if you'd please just get out of my head instead,

Y.

Fluorescence · 08-03-2011 12:13am

I wish I'd gotten to know you better while you were still with us. It's funny how life got back to normal so quickly, and it almost became a case of "Out of sight, out of mind." Every few days though it hits me that you're gone, and that we'll never have some friendly banter again. I admired you a great deal, and I hope you knew that. I'm just ashamed that I never realised how much you meant to me until you were gone.

flowerchild · 08-03-2011 2:51am

Dear DG

I wonder what happened for you at the time, and afterward. I would like to know.

My feelings for you confuse me, both what I feel and why. Hard to articulate and that surprising because I usually talk and write easily. But I have decided to just go with the flow. Sometimes our unconscious knows what we need, even if we don't understand.

I would like to be friends.

King Arthur and Lancelot figure in my dreams so your body is safe from me.

My husband knows about you and is calm. I really admire his approach and his steadfast support.

I suspect (really know) that you have high resolution cameras recording and playing back for you the details of my whole life, including eating, washing, caring for the boys, toileting and being in bed. I can't tell you how upsetting that is, or how unsettling. I am calm because I don't know how to successfully get rid of them. If I get the house swept surely you get just get your boys back to re-install. But it is wrong, really wrong to intrude in someone's life like that. And if you don't know it, you ought to.

I don't hate you. I care for you. But I would like you to learn how to work with normal boundaries and to be better at ending interactions and relationships. More communicative. More caring.

flowerchild · 08-03-2011 3:07am

Notenough.. wrote: »

I don't love my mother. There, I said it, those 5 words that seem to instil a look of horror on so many faces and consequently deafen the voice of reason. I don’t blame them, they simply can’t comprehend the notion, and for that I envy them – god I envy them. Over the years I’ve heard so many different variations of the perfect family, so many that I don’t’ think anyone can justify themselves in claiming to have discovered such an entity. Our society is one born out of individuals, of individual needs, loves, hopes and dreams. The things that make you tick are the things that make you ‘you’, and the people you love are the people who help to shape you into the person you will become. I think my mother shaped me in some ways. I hate to think it but I know it’s true, and I guess that means I must have loved her once...only I can’t remember when that was.

When people speak about the ‘maternal’ bond it makes me smile at their naivety, it seems this cynicism has taken a hold of me, such a hold that I simply can’t accept that kind of love anymore; I have to question it’s every move – and it’s very existence. It’s an animal’s instinct to protect its young, but I question the human ability to do the same. The problem with humanity is that there are so many other factors which threaten this instinct, mainly the selfishness which is all too prevalent in our nature. Like I said, I don’t recall when I stopped loving her, or if in fact I ever did. It’s hard to explain, but she’s never really been a part of my life, merely an obstacle that had to be constantly overcome. Until eventually, I found a different path where it ceased to exist - where she ceased to exist.

The memories are still there, but I try to keep them in a little box in the back of my mind. I worry that someday someone will find that box and discover all these little doubts she’s left behind, this mark she’s left on me. Sometimes I worry, because I’m a part of her, and no part of her was good, so where does that leave me? Sometimes I wonder, if I can’t forgive then how can I ever expect to be the best person I can be, how can I rid her hold of me, how can I make sure she never hurts me again? I took the path less followed, for a follower I am not, but I constantly look behind me in fear of whom I lead; what if the trait runs deep, what if I let them down.

I want to explain, I want to show the world who she really is and curse her for what she’s done, but I don’t really know where to begin. I don’t know when my heart broke, or whether it was ever whole.

I am sorry for your pain. Always remember that you and she are different. To tell yourself how she really was and how you felt/feel is a good thing to do. It is up to you how far to extend that truth. Sometimes we can be surprised to learn that others (many) intuited the truth long long ago. So sometimes we worry too much about whether/how to tell, because the truth is, others know anyway. You may therefore ask, why bother opening up? Because it helps others who face the same trauma. They can learn from you that it is possible to come out the other side, alive, and relatively intact. It can give a little one or a troubled teenager hope. Humans are very resilient.

Be aware of your stretches interpersonally, but stop looking over your shoulder for aspects of her and her impact. Many research studies show that those who survive those traumas come out as strong resilient impressive people. Accept yourself, as the whole complex person you are. And know that others care for you. Exactly as you are.

allandanyways · 08-03-2011 9:40pm

I miss you so much it hurts and I know I've told you I miss you but saying it just doesn't explain it. I just want to hug you and talk about the silly things we used to talk about and feel that safety I once felt with you.

I don't trust anyone now because of you and I hate it. But despite everything, I miss you more than I think I'll ever be able to put into words and I hate more than anything in the entire world that you're hers now. She doesn't come close to even deserving you.

Miss you so so so much. X

flowerchild · 09-03-2011 1:22am

Dear A

You've been dead more than half my life but I still think about you most days. I remember how you would listen to me and watch what I did with a smile on your face, never interfering, just noticing. You gave me apricots when I was upset and I still associate them with comfort. You showed me how a man loves a woman and how parents raise children together. You were a company executive but you came home and rolled up your sleeves every night and cooked dinner and talked to each of us as we did chores with you. You listened and guided and always had time and room. When you started having heart attacks you worked hard to change and live for longer. When you stopped being able to breathe well you were calm about the end being near. You used to talk with me once a year about how you thought I was going, things that were special and things to work on. I want you to know I still work on being more tolerant, every day. I married a man like you and I am glad you taught me to know a good man when I saw one. I would have liked you to argue less with my mother. I knew you loved each other but the daily arguments made life difficult for us. You needed to stand up to her more when she was unreasonable. Less yelling and more calm and firm, like the man I married. But you changed nappies and fed children and talked to boys and girls and helped widows and children long before it was seen as the right thing to do. You make most men I see even today look like adolescents. I feel blessed to have had you as my father. And when I have a quandary (several times a week lol) I simply ask myself, what would Alan say? So you are still by my side. Thank you.

s3129 · 09-03-2011 1:27am

you,

i hate you but i still love you. i tell you i hate you more than anything but what i really mean is i wish it was back the way it was. a year later and you're getting on with things, im only pretending to.

why did you have to take everything away from me when we wer happy???

i'm never going to understand and thats why i cant move on.

i hate you.

flowerchild · 09-03-2011 4:26am

Dear R

A would look at you and shake his head and smile as he said 'your mother is a very difficult woman'. We would all smile because it was true, and he still loved you completely anyway. So my earliest and strongest memory of you is that you are loved and understood. You mother died when you were 5, you were one of 11 surviving children. Your father limped on until you were 14 and it was safe for him to die, but his heart was broken and he was in wracking pain from stomach cancer. You and your brothers and sisters brought each other up. You were all intelligent, strong and successful. You all went to university. But you never kissed or cuddled me, because I suspect you never got a cuddle. I still knew you loved me, and you married a man who gave us all, including you, cuddles and love. You worked all the time I was growing up. You made a name for yourself. The uni ran a ballot because all the students wanted to be placed with you. Many of them went on to be the best in their profession. You showed them how to do their job well, with strength and respect. You broke drug rings, you wrote papers, you became president of your union, chaired all the other organisations you were part of, you stayed back at work twice a week to keep up to date with professional journals. But you never came to my school to meet and talk to my teachers, ever. You never came to a play or a debate. You placed me with a family of criminals as afterschool care and never met them. They caused me a lot of grief. You never spoke to me about being a girl, woman, wife or mother. I had to try and work it all out by myself. Sometimes feeling quite confused and mystified. If you saw problems you turned away. You cleaned the house so much it was a burden for us all. We joked that you should give up vacuuming for lent. We weren't actually joking. You have been a widow for decades and live at home looking after yourself. But even with your memory fading you are a tower of strength and will not be patronised. I understand you well. There are lots of aspects of you that are impressive and I know why you did the rest. I just wish you were braver about the interpersonal. I cuddle and kiss you even though you shrink away because I know you really like it. I clearly see the little girl inside you who wanted cuddles and didn't get them. You chose well in your husband. I wish you had chosen to remarry when he died. Six good men tried and failed to win you. I think you are like a swan. One mate for life. I think you miss A every day. But you do not labour the issue. You are stoic. I am very proud of you. Like my father I think you are a difficult woman, and I too think we were lucky to have you.

LegacyUser · 09-03-2011 2:15pm

To Mum,
You have always been so cruel to me, it still makes me sick to think about you and the truly awful things you have said and done to me. I want you out of my life. I want you gone. It kills me to say that because I know there are so many people that really love and are loved by people and yet they lose them. I want to lose you.

To Dad,
I really wish you could have been honest with yourself and admitted that you're gay, and never married or had children. You don't even know that I know you're gay! That's how disconnected you are from life. Time is marching on, just leave and live your life before it's all over. We can still stay in touch and see each other. We'll probably have more contact than we do now.

To X & Y,
How could you? I loved you both so much. I was crazy about you both and only wanted to spend time with you both. Then you sexually abused me and made me feel it was my own fault. i don't hate you both, that would require too much energy. But i wish you were both dead. To think that we're related makes me sick to my stomach.

To ex friends,
you made me miserable, you were no help when I needed it, but you always expected help from me. You are all horrible, nasty, self absorbed fools and I'm so much better off without any of you in my life.

To Boards,
thank you. you're a life saver and you don't even know it.

mud · 10-03-2011 3:19am

Dear S

Would I be better off with no friends than have friends like you?

Yes.

I loved you so much; even though you treated me like ****. I loved you.

You betrayed me one time too many and I cut all contact.

I saw you recently for the first time in ages and my instinct was to run to you and hug you and hope that things could be salvaged.

No.

That's not possible. You will never change.

You are an energy vampire.

I don't know if I'll ever have a truly close friend again because of the damage you have done to my self-esteem.

I even wanted to get in touch after our encounter, to make one last plea for some semblance of empathy from you but thanks to all that is good I stopped myself so that you will now never know how much you wrecked my head.

Have a great life! We are water under the bridge. I even think I could stand to be in the same room as you because I have distanced myself from your negative influence. I guarantee that is worse than hating you.

I don't hate you.

I just no longer care.

beks101 · 10-03-2011 4:27am

Dear Canada,

It's been four and a half months...seriously, are you having a laugh? PLEASE STOP SNOWING!

Kind regards,

Beks

LegacyUser · 10-03-2011 9:57am

Dear A
I love you.

Dear L
I don't love you and never will but that's ok cos you feel the same and we are just enjoying this time we have together.

Dear D
Why don't you understand just a little what you have done\are doing is hurtful to others. Your rule of 'I live my life my way' is ok if you don't hurt others while you are doing that but you do. I'm ok now, you can't hurt me anymore since you left this country but even in your absence you are hurting your sons by not contacting them. They need their dad.

Dear Mum,
I love you, I don't always say it and we irritate eachother no end but you have always been there for me and it is my turn now to mind you.

My Children, You are the absolutly best thing that ever happened to me and I will love and protect you always.

LegacyUser · 10-03-2011 6:57pm

I'm reaching boiling point with you now. You've spent my entire life being a failure, you've never done anything right, you've f*cked up time and time again and put us all through hell. Yet we stood by you, supported you and gave you chance after chance after chance and you continued to let us all down. Now as an adult, I can't stand being around you, you last f*ck up really did you in with your four children, I say children as thats what you still see us as and treat us as. You're such a pigheaded asshole. Our poor mother has lived with this sh*t for 36 years.

Now here we are, 6 years on from your biggest **** up of all and you did it all again back in November and left your daughter in her early 20's to clean up your mess. What's worse? You don't even appreciate it. You treat her like an imbecile, she's been financially supporting the family for years and given up her chance of a good education so she could stand by YOU and what do YOU do? You go and make the same fu*king 'mistakes' AGAIN. Now, just as she was getting a life together for herself she's back at square one because now she's supporting you again and you still treat her like a stupid child.

You must be the luckiest man in the world, given what you've put us through and we've stood by you and never walked away. You're an asshole though and you're such an asshole you can't even appreciate what a wonderful, strong, intelligent independent woman your youngest offspring has blossomed into.

All four of us are finished with you, we're disgusted with you, we can no longer stand to be around you. But, mum, who has borne the brunt of your 'mistakes' hates to hear us give out about you, even after all of this she still supports you and sticks by you. Only reason I'm still here is to be someone for her to lean on.

You've somehow managed to raise 4 incredible children, the only thing about you that will imprint on us for the rest of our lives is that we won't make the cock ups that you did. Mum did a wonderful job.

Don't appreciate us, you never did, you never will. I can't wait for the next bombshell you drop on us....

squeakyduck · 11-03-2011 12:52am

Do you want to smother me?! Leave me alone! Stop trying to outdo me in everything I do....you'll never be better than me!!!!

Just stop trying you can never win.

You're a looser and always will be, I can see you settled for second best!

;):D

Cutie18Ireland · 11-03-2011 4:20pm

Dear Nanny,
I miss you every day. Every event that comes up I wish you could be there. Things are changing and we're all growing you so fast I wish you were around to see it all. You were a truly special person, taken from us too soon. We will never forget you..

Dear Ex,
I've known you for almost 7 years. We had some good times and some bad. I left because of what you did and I couldnt see a way to fix it. After a couple of months I missed you and we, well... I tried to start over but you wanted someone else. I told you jokingly that I would meet someone and be with them forever. You never believed it and went ahead with her, she could never have given u what I could have... I tried but you messed it up both times. I wont let you destroy what I have now... and if that means cutting you and our dog out of my life forever then so be it.

Dear J,
Thank you for loving me the way you do. Thank you for showing me that I deserve the best.. and I found it in you. I can't wait to be your wife.

Things you want to say to husband/boyf/ex's/friends/family/people *MOD NOTE POST #1*

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Things you want to say to husband/boyf/ex's/friends/family/people MOD NOTE POST #1