The Cooking Disaster Thread

B0jangles · 03-09-2018 9:58am

That happened to me too with a very old (like '70s probably) blender, but I put it down to a combination of rock-hard frozen strawberries and the old plastic going a bit delicate.

Shenshen · 03-09-2018 1:21pm

Actually.... and I can't begin to describe how embarrassed I am posting this - it didn't break. By the looks of it, the bottom is designed to be detachable, it screws in to the top half. To make it easier to clean, I suppose. Only I never knew that. So what must have happened was that last time I cleaned it, I twisted it in such a way that when I put it on yesterday, it just came apart.

I should have RTFM...

beertons · 05-11-2018 3:01pm

Didn't happen me, but my cousin was telling me about a dinner he was cooking a few weeks ago. Bought a steak meal deal, and set everything up. Opened a bottle of red wine to air. Poured himself a glass to try it out. By the time he was ready to eat, he was plastered. Last thing he remembers was slicing a potato and putting it in his mouth. It wasn't a potato, but an onion!

Faith · 23-05-2020 7:13pm

A rare baking fail for me today. I decided to make banana bread, after it being all the rage a few weeks back. I followed the Hummingbird Bakery recipe, and it was quite a wet batter. Thinking I’d be super fancy, I cut a banana lengthwise and placed it on top of the batter before putting it in the oven. I had visions of it getting all lovely and caramelised on top.

Well, about halfway through the cook time, I glanced in the oven and saw batter dripping down the sides of the loaf tin. Not unheard of, but annoying. 10 minutes before it was due to come out, I checked on it. The banana from the top had disappeared, and the batter was still half liquid...

I ended up giving it an extra 15 minutes in the oven, and when I finally got it out of the tin, the bottom half stayed in the tin. The banana had sunk and essentially steamed, turning a rather vile colour

. The top half of the bread was grand, but I had to trim away the bits that were in contact with the full banana and throw them out, as they were undercooked and horrible. I reckon I lost a good half of the batter in the end! The remaining loaf is edible, but if I was on GBBO, I’d have tipped the whole thing in the bin and walked out

Mystery Egg · 05-02-2021 1:52pm

So as many of you in here know, because I'm always banging on about it in the dinner thread, my previously baby-led-weaned son who ate all round him now only eats crackers and confectionary. I'm constantly trying to find ways to sneak vegetables into him.

One of the very few surviving dinners in his newfound fussiness is spag bol which, to my horror, he recently started refusing because he could pick out the grated carrot and minced onion from his bowl and a chorus of "I don't like it..." would begin.

I recalled seeing Lilly Higgins doing a pasta sauce which was basically a load of pureed vegetables and I decided to give it a go with some minced beef, reasoning that my son would have nothing to pick out but he'd still be getting his veg.

So I roughly chopped some carrots, onions, celery, garlic, red pepper and tomatoes and popped them in the pressure cooker for 7 minutes.

Meanwhile I browned some minced beef and prepared my herbs and seasonings.

When the veg were cooked I pureed them with the hand blender. When I met resistance I realised the carrots were still hard. However I continued grinding until the damn things were a pulp. The pot of pureed vegetables now resembled a big bowl of baby sick.

Doubtful but determined I poured it into the mince mixture and added stock, red wine, herbs, sugar etc etc and stirred. It looked bright orange and absolutely vile. I added tomato puree to improve the colour and let it simmer for half an hour. The texture was absolutely bizarre, light and grainy. The taste was 90% red pepper (which my son hates). It was deeply unappetising and I knew there was exactly zero chance of him eating it.

The whole horrible concoction went in the compost bin (to my shame) - wrong I know - but I felt dishing it up might not only end his relationship with spag bol forever, but possibly end my own relationship with it too.

His dinner was chicken nuggets.

Gloomtastic! · 05-02-2021 2:18pm

Mystery Egg wrote: »

So as many of you in here know, because I'm always banging on about it in the dinner thread, my previously baby-led-weaned son who ate all round him now only eats crackers and confectionary. I'm constantly trying to find ways to sneak vegetables into him.

One of the very few surviving dinners in his newfound fussiness is spag bol which, to my horror, he recently started refusing because he could pick out the grated carrot and minced onion from his bowl and a chorus of "I don't like it..." would begin.

I recalled seeing Lilly Higgins doing a pasta sauce which was basically a load of pureed vegetables and I decided to give it a go with some minced beef, reasoning that my son would have nothing to pick out but he'd still be getting his veg.

So I roughly chopped some carrots, onions, celery, garlic, red pepper and tomatoes and popped them in the pressure cooker for 7 minutes.

Meanwhile I browned some minced beef and prepared my herbs and seasonings.

When the veg were cooked I pureed them with the hand blender. When I met resistance I realised the carrots were still hard. However I continued grinding until the damn things were a pulp. The pot of pureed vegetables now resembled a big bowl of baby sick.

Doubtful but determined I poured it into the mince mixture and added stock, red wine, herbs, sugar etc etc and stirred. It looked bright orange and absolutely vile. I added tomato puree to improve the colour and let it simmer for half an hour. The texture was absolutely bizarre, light and grainy. The taste was 90% red pepper (which my son hates). It was deeply unappetising and I knew there was exactly zero chance of him eating it.

The whole horrible concoction went in the compost bin (to my shame) - wrong I know - but I felt dishing it up might not only end his relationship with spag bol forever, but possibly end my own relationship with it too.

His dinner was chicken nuggets.

Being able to pick out the grated carrot is a touch of genius.

Mystery Egg · 05-02-2021 2:23pm

Gloomtastic! wrote: »

Being able to pick out the grated carrot is a touch of genius.

He is very unfortunately both intelligent and observant. I will be very happy about this some day but while he's two it's rather annoying being outsmarted on a regular basis.

Dizzyblonde · 05-02-2021 2:31pm

Mystery Egg wrote: »

He is very unfortunately both intelligent and observant. I will be very happy about this some day but while he's two it's rather annoying being outsmarted on a regular basis.

Proud but frustrated mammy moment :pac:

There's nothing worse than making a meal that you have to keep adding ingredients, time and effort to, that goes in the bin anyway. I take it personally when anything I cook goes in the bin.

My 17 month old grandson would take the hand off you, he eats everything from the baby led weaning book and beyond. My 29 month old grandson lives on a diet of fruit, sausages, cheese and carbs and yet the same methods of weaning were used with him. I heard he was nearly puking last night just tipping a piece of roast chicken against his lips :rolleyes:

Mystery Egg · 05-02-2021 3:04pm

Dizzyblonde wrote: »

Proud but frustrated mammy moment :pac:

There's nothing worse than making a meal that you have to keep adding ingredients, time and effort to, that goes in the bin anyway. I take it personally when anything I cook goes in the bin.

My 17 month old grandson would take the hand off you, he eats everything from the baby led weaning book and beyond. My 29 month old grandson lives on a diet of fruit, sausages, cheese and carbs and yet the same methods of weaning were used with him. I heard he was nearly puking last night just tipping a piece of roast chicken against his lips :rolleyes:

At 17 months my fella was the same as your little grandson and at 30 months my fella is identical to your 29 month old. He retches when tasting things he previously used to devour!

Neyite · 05-02-2021 3:20pm

Gloomtastic! wrote: »

Being able to pick out the grated carrot is a touch of genius.

My lad couldn't find his coat or shoes directly in front of his face but can pick out a microscopic bit of onion in his dinners. There was a point I was begging him to at least lick the broccoli in the hope that some nutrients would transfer to his system. But he's gotten a bit better as he got older.

Mystery, I did the same with Spag Bol and he wasn't fooled. But the red lentils did escape his scrutiny...;)

kylith · 05-02-2021 8:03pm

I'm awful, I just let my 2yo starve. *shrug*

Mystery Egg · 05-02-2021 11:06pm

kylith wrote: »

I'm awful, I just let my 2yo starve. *shrug*

So if they won't eat their dinner, they get nothing? Does that work and encourage eating? Genuine question.

BaZmO* · 05-02-2021 11:44pm

Mystery Egg wrote: »

So if they won't eat their dinner, they get nothing? Does that work and encourage eating? Genuine question.

Yeah. Can’t do it all the time obviously, but hunger is a great sauce.

I try all the tricks to get better food into the kids, but sometimes it’s demoralising when they won’t bother trying something new when you know they’ll like it.

As each one has gotten older I’ve done the, if you don’t eat, you don’t get anything else. They generally wolf down the next meal. I wouldn’t do it if they’re really young though. I also don’t try to force the same things on them.

Dizzyblonde · 05-02-2021 11:51pm

:eek:

I suppose it depends, with older kids, on whether you've cooked something they normally like? I regularly cooked 2 dinners when mine were young to allow for different tastes, for instance one of my daughters has never eaten beef because she just really doesn't like it. I'd never have served up spag bol for her when the rest of us were eating it because that would have been cruel.

BaZmO* · 05-02-2021 11:56pm

Dizzyblonde wrote: »

:eek:

I suppose it depends, with older kids, on whether you've cooked something they normally like? I regularly cooked 2 dinners when mine were young to allow for different tastes, for instance one of my daughters has never eaten beef because she just really doesn't like it. I'd never have served up spag bol for her when the rest of us were eating it because that would have been cruel.

Exactly. Serving up liver and onions or boiled cabbage and pigs trotters and expecting them to eat it is just cruel. But the general rule I try to live by is at least try it, and if you don’t like it you can leave it. There’s always enough of something else on the plate to fill them up.

cee_jay · 06-02-2021 12:12am

My nephew started watching some cartoon on YouTube that encourages the "3 bite rule". He is a kid, aged 6, who has always refused dairy, except for butter. He loves mash, and depends on the day what veg or meat he likes.
From this cartoon though, he implements the 3 bites rule himself. If it is on his plate, he has to try 3 bites before deciding he doesn't like it. If he says he doesn't like it, that is fine, he doesn't have to eat it. More often than not, he ends up eating his food. Except dairy. No way will he have anything like milk, yogurt, etc. Nobody even tries hi with that anymore.

kylith · 06-02-2021 12:42am

Mystery Egg wrote: »

So if they won't eat their dinner, they get nothing? Does that work and encourage eating? Genuine question.

No, not nothing. I make sure there’s something on her plate that she will eat, usually a fruit of some sort. If she decides that the rest of the food is yucky then that’s up to her, but I’m not going to give her anything else. She’s never more than about 2 hours from the next scheduled snack time so she’s not going to be seriously impacted by skipping half her lunch. And generally if I declare that I’m going to eat what she’s left she gets a lot more interested in it.

She’s pretty good about trying new stuff, especially if she sees us eat it first. Today she decided that she likes tuna, at least for today.

Muahahaha · 23-02-2021 9:50pm

In the middle of a cooking disaster right now. Was making the peanut chicken recipe posted by LizT on the Instant Pot thread. Chucked all the garlic, ginger, julienne carrots and the whites of spring onions in to the Instant Pot to saute. Then in went the soy sauce, lime juice and brown sugar and then I went to open the can of coconut milk but the tin opener would not grip whatever way I held it. Was at it for 10 minutes before copping a bit of metal had come off the opener and it was never going to grip.

So in my haste to get some liquid in there to pressure cook I reached for a can of tomatoes, this time a can with a ring pull. That had a bit of explosion when opening and my hand got tomato sauce all over it. Chucked that in anyway and then went to rinse it out to add a bit more water. At which point I realise it was a can of San Marzano tomatoes specifically for pizza sauce and it was my last one too. Meanwhile theres four cans of Tesco regular tomatores just sitting there looking at me.

I dont know what this is going to taste like now as San Marzano tomatoes are very sweet and Id already thrown in 3 tablespoons of brown sugar. To make matters worse its 800g of chicken thighs gone in on top of everything so whatever happens Im eating this hybrid of Italian/Asian chicken for the next few days :mad:

Dizzyblonde · 23-02-2021 9:58pm

Oh no! Well at least you hadn't put peanut in there. Maybe adding lemon juice would balance out the sweetness and it could be really nice with pasta?

Muahahaha · 23-02-2021 10:04pm

lol its too late for pasta as well as Ive rice cooking in the microwave. Will taste it and add some more lime juice if its too sweet. But whatever it is, its a mess

Serves me right for buying a cheapo can opener in the pound shop, I couldnt find one anywhere else locally at the time :mad:

Faith · 24-02-2021 9:55am

A can opener is something I finally invested a decent chunk of money in and it's worth every. penny.

I can't remember exactly the brand, but it's probably Oxo.

Gloomtastic! · 24-02-2021 1:37pm

The ikea can opener is cheap but excellent

https://www.ikea.com/ie/en/p/koncis-can-opener-stainless-steel-00081534/

rubadub · 24-02-2021 6:20pm

Muahahaha wrote: »

Was at it for 10 minutes before copping a bit of metal had come off the opener and it was never going to grip.

A tin can be opened with a knife. Some go at it with the tip which is very dangerous as it can slip. If you go at it with the bit of the knife near the handle it is far safer, but your knive has to be a suitable style. And you might not want to be using your finest Japanese fancy knife!

Lady Haywire · 24-02-2021 7:59pm

On occasion I enjoy a Frey Bentos pie

And I can only ever open the tins by bringing the opener the whole way around & pushing it into the tin if that makes sense.

Graces7 · 24-02-2021 9:19pm

Lady Haywire wrote: »

On occasion I enjoy a Frey Bentos pie And I can only ever open the tins by bringing the opener the whole way around & pushing it into the tin if that makes sense.

Oh now I need to order one of those pies![ Yearn! Not had one for … years!

An dI know what you mean.. Let the lid drop in? Then a knife under the edge and lever it out..

Muahahaha · 24-02-2021 9:40pm

Gloomtastic! wrote: »

The ikea can opener is cheap but excellent

https://www.ikea.com/ie/en/p/koncis-can-opener-stainless-steel-00081534/

Funnily enough I used to have one of those but it is one of several kitchen items that somehow vanished into thin air when I moved house a few years ago. The cheapo pound shop can opener that wouldnt work last night was its replacement as at the time Dunnes were out of stock of them and I needed one that day.

rubadub wrote: »

A tin can be opened with a knife. Some go at it with the tip which is very dangerous as it can slip. If you go at it with the bit of the knife near the handle it is far safer, but your knive has to be a suitable style. And you might not want to be using your finest Japanese fancy knife!

yeah I did think of heading to Youtube for a solution and I do have a japanese style meat cleaver. But was just trying to get everything into the Instant Pot at half time during the football so after 10 minutes off faffing about trying to open the can of coconut milk the rage in me just reached for a can of tomatoes with a ring pull instead.

I ate it in the end and had another portion for lunch today. Chicken in tomato sauce wouldnt be somethng Id ever make but it wasnt that bad in the end. Still annoyed though that it wasnt the chicken in peanut sauce it was supposed to be after I had all the ingredients chopped and ready. At least my lesson is learnt, always open the can first before you do any other prep.

BaZmO* · 24-02-2021 11:45pm

Lady Haywire wrote: »

On occasion I enjoy a Frey Bentos pie And I can only ever open the tins by bringing the opener the whole way around & pushing it into the tin if that makes sense.

That’s the way I used to open tins of beans or tins of fruit when I was a kid and I couldn’t use the tin
opener properly. Mind you, it was at terrible tin opener so it never really gripped the time properly. I think the teeth were worn from years of use.

the beer revolu · 25-02-2021 9:25am

I've struggled to find a tin opener that works on all tins. Or is it can opener and cans?

I have a very slick looking Rosle one that works brilliantly on some cans for me but not for my wife, at all.
Bought a fairly decent one in homesense - doesn't work on some cans.
Cheapy one, isn't great.

I think the problem is that cans are no longer standard and ring pull cans aren't designed with an opener in mind.

oscarBravo · 25-02-2021 11:21am

My OH insists on using one of [URL="https://www.checkfrank.ie/fiskars-classic-can-opener/1482050]these[/URL] especially for opening the small cans of tomato paste.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8fsE2koSkqk

Alun · 25-02-2021 11:55am

oscarBravo wrote: »

My OH insists on using one of [URL="https://www.checkfrank.ie/fiskars-classic-can-opener/1482050]these[/URL] especially for opening the small cans of tomato paste.

Also worth noting that most Swiss army penknives have a similar style of can opener on them. A bit primitive, but it does the job if necessary.

Alun · 25-02-2021 11:59am

the beer revolu wrote: »

I've struggled to find a tin opener that works on all tins. Or is it can opener and cans?

I have a very slick looking Rosle one that works brilliantly on some cans for me but not for my wife, at all.
Bought a fairly decent one in homesense - doesn't work on some cans.
Cheapy one, isn't great.

I think the problem is that cans are no longer standard and ring pull cans aren't designed with an opener in mind.

My wife is the same, she claims it's because she's left handed, but then she uses that excuse for a lot of things, including cutting the bread wonky

I think a lot of the problem is that the rim on many cans these days isn't thick enough for the serrated wheel to grip on.

phormium · 25-02-2021 1:22pm

My father had one of the electric tin openers, worked pretty well too, I always considered it a pointless device but used it a couple of times and I wouldn't rule it out! If I break off a ring pull I often find it's easier use the tin opener on the bottom of the tin rather than the top if there is any bit in the way on top cos of the ring pull.

Graces7 · 25-02-2021 3:12pm

phormium wrote: »

My father had one of the electric tin openers, worked pretty well too, I always considered it a pointless device but used it a couple of times and I wouldn't rule it out! If I break off a ring pull I often find it's easier use the tin opener on the bottom of the tin rather than the top if there is any bit in the way on top cos of the ring pull.

I had an electric one for years in the days way before ring pull cans. It was a life saver when I had multiple cats. ( Just realised it was literally nearly 30 years ago..) Very efficient.

Checkout guy in Lidl told me that they sell the same beans in ring pull and ordinary tins with a price difference of 10 cents. Very cheap beans still need a tin opener.

rubadub · 25-02-2021 3:21pm

the beer revolu wrote: »

I've struggled to find a tin opener that works on all tins. Or is it can opener and cans?

Alun wrote: »

Also worth noting that most Swiss army penknives have a similar style of can opener on them. A bit primitive, but it does the job if necessary.

+1, I have never found a can I could not open with one, even a can of semi frozen cider. Once you get the hang of it you can be pretty quick.

Tree · 26-02-2021 12:18am

phormium wrote: »

If I break off a ring pull I often find it's easier use the tin opener on the bottom of the tin rather than the top if there is any bit in the way on top cos of the ring pull.

Logged on to add that! I always flip the can over if it's bust.

L1011 · 26-02-2021 9:21am

Gloomtastic! wrote: »

The ikea can opener is cheap but excellent

https://www.ikea.com/ie/en/p/koncis-can-opener-stainless-steel-00081534/

I've had one of these fall apart - the plastic bodied ones were more sturdy weirdly.

Handles started rotating so you couldn't get grip, head shifted somehow so it would mangle every second can or so.

Dizzyblonde · 26-02-2021 11:23am

Tree wrote: »

Logged on to add that! I always flip the can over if it's bust.

So do I - the ring pull end is the wrong shape/depth for can openers.

Kintarō Hattori · 02-03-2021 5:45pm

I tried my first ever slow cooker recipe, a Brazillian coconut chicken curry and it was crap. There was no flavour and the chicken was barely warm and seemed kinda slimey (it wasn't pink). Quite disappointed as it seemed like it might be lovely.

Gloomtastic! · 02-03-2021 7:35pm

Kintarō Hattori wrote: »

I tried my first ever slow cooker recipe, a Brazillian coconut chicken curry and it was crap. There was no flavour and the chicken was barely warm and seemed kinda slimey (it wasn't pink). Quite disappointed as it seemed like it might be lovely.

Oh err, doesn’t sound like it’s cooked. Did you brown the chicken in a pan beforehand? What setting did you have the slow cooker on?

L1011 · 02-03-2021 8:02pm

Slow cookers / slow cooking in a dutch oven in your oven on low (which is suitable for most slow cooker uses really) plus chicken - particularly breast - is a quick way to have an unhappy result.

It will break down in an unexpected manner usually.

Kintarō Hattori · 03-03-2021 3:16pm

Gloomtastic! wrote: »

Oh err, doesn’t sound like it’s cooked. Did you brown the chicken in a pan beforehand? What setting did you have the slow cooker on?

I didn't brown beforehand as the receipe didn't call for it, the video showed raw chicken going in. It called for it to be cooked on low for 5 hours. The error must have been mine as people rave about it:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fGcRlaoioIE

phormium · 03-03-2021 3:54pm

I think slow cookers vary a lot in what temps they reach, I have two, one of them I call my fast cooker as it keeps stuff bubbling away at what looks to be similar to having it on a hob temp even on low, on high I treat it and cooking times the same as a saucepan.

In that video the sauce is clearly bubbling, I know my second slow cooker would not generate bubbles at all on the lower heat. Maybe try it again and do it on high and see how it goes, might be an idea to try it some day you are at home for the full time so you can see exactly how long it takes to cook so you can judge whether you have a fast or a slow 'slow' cooker.

Dizzyblonde · 03-03-2021 5:04pm

Something to watch for with slow cookers: mine has three settings - Low, Medium and High. The Low setting doesn't actually cook food at all, it just keeps it warm. So if a recipe calls for cooking on Low, that means Medium on my slow cooker :rolleyes:

rubadub · 04-03-2021 2:09pm

Kintarō Hattori wrote: »

There was no flavour and the chicken was barely warm

The ingredients looked quite bland, only 1/2tsp of chilli, I would be using literally 10 times that.

The chicken will release moisture so I imagine it ended up quite watery. A trick I do is sometimes deliberately do not stir up the coconut milk, open the can and scoop out the hard stuff separating it from the liquid.

If it is mixed up too much it could be boiled up in a saucepan on its own to reduce it, then when cooled a bit add it to the slow cooker, so as not to be overcooking the chicken in boiling coconut milk.

As said all slow cookers will vary. I think some are not even thermostatically controlled so could have varying temps depending on the temp of your room. I would be checking with a thermometer. The recipes should really give temps too.

Alun · 04-03-2021 2:11pm

rubadub wrote: »

The ingredients looked quite bland, only 1/2tsp of chilli, I would be using literally 10 times that.

That would depend massively on the chili powder you're using. The stuff I use, if I used 5 tsp in a dish, it'd be inedible

rubadub · 04-03-2021 2:17pm

Alun wrote: »

That would depend massively on the chili powder you're using. The stuff I use, if I used 5 tsp in a dish, it'd be inedible

Yep, that's another thing the recipes should ideally be stating. If they do not state it I presume it to be standard supermarket stuff.

the beer revolu · 04-03-2021 2:20pm

I'm going to echo what another poster said and say that I don't really think that chicken has any place in a slow cooker.

Muahahaha · 04-03-2021 4:38pm

the beer revolu wrote: »

I'm going to echo what another poster said and say that I don't really think that chicken has any place in a slow cooker.

Yeah was thinking the exact same myself and that video above was the first time Ive ever seen a slow cooker recipe for chicken. Slow cookers are for tough cuts of meats like beef shin, stewing beef, etc so it seems strange to be putting tender cuts like breast of chicken into one. I dont see any advantage in cooking chicken in one for 4 or 5 hours when about 10 minutes on a hob would have it cooked in the sauce.

Im guessing the reason behind it is some food bloggers just needing more and more 'content' for their Youtube channels so they come up with this crap. Its kind of like those Instant Pot videos where they pressure cook a full chicken and it comes out yellow and slimey and then they have to move it to the oven to crisp it up anyway. Like whats the actual point of using two devices to cook a single chicken? It is double the hassle and double the clean up afterwards for no advantage. Yet food bloggers do it just to create new 'content' :rolleyes:

igCorcaigh · 04-03-2021 5:05pm

Alun wrote: »

That would depend massively on the chili powder you're using. The stuff I use, if I used 5 tsp in a dish, it'd be inedible

What type of chilli powder do you use?

I find that the supermarket stuff has no kick, so I grind the dried birds eye ones from Tesco. They are super hot.

10-10-20 · 04-03-2021 5:23pm

I got some nice steaks which I was going to flambé on an iron cast-pan. I had some Christmas Cognac all lined up. Kids were watching for the spectacle of the flambe...

I heated the pan, put the steaks on, cooked for 2 mins and then splashed on what may have been a little too much Cognac and lit it.

Cognac lit gently initially, but the flames started roaring up as the oil caught fire, smoke billowing from the pan. I turned on the "extractor", which was one of those air-filter things, to try catch the soot, but it sucked the flames into the filter...

...the flames burned the filter which held the filter charcoal in, dumping the thousands of little charcoal granules out onto the grease-guard underneath. The grease-guard then contorted and gave-way, dumping all of the charcoal onto the pan below extinguishing the flames.

Three nice steaks now were crispy-black with tens of lumps of char attached with a smattering of burnt plastic and the kids had evacuated into the sitting-room.

The Cooking Disaster Thread

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