Ghosted after a few good dates

YellowLead · 03-05-2021 2:01pm

Prelude In E Minor wrote: »

Ah yes the lethal virus that only kills the very elderly and the morbidly obese. So glad we lost a year of our lives to fight it.

Escorts are around virus or no virus so how exactly are you impacted

03-05-2021 2:06pm

Prelude In E Minor wrote: »

Ah yes the lethal virus that only kills the very elderly and the morbidly obese. So glad we lost a year of our lives to fight it.

I couldn't care less what you think about it.

YellowLead · 03-05-2021 2:22pm

Prelude In E Minor wrote: »

You know if it wasn't for the lockdown I won't have started seeing escorts. Thanks for getting me laid Tony!

So what do you do to get women usually if the apps don’t work for you? Get them drunk?

03-05-2021 2:24pm

Prelude In E Minor wrote: »

Cared enough to respond

It was a "let me stop you right there" response. I'm not interested in your views on Covid or anything related to it. Thanks.

03-05-2021 2:32pm

Prelude In E Minor wrote: »

Ok but still not getting vaccinated.

I don't care if you do or what happens to you.

03-05-2021 2:52pm

The Slimeball wrote: »

You seem to care.

Good for you.

sporina · 03-05-2021 2:53pm

ZoZoZo wrote: »

Why wouldn't it be ?

its beyond ridiculous.. :eek:

nj27 · 03-05-2021 4:11pm

Johnnytractors wrote: »

So, I recently matched with the one on tinder who was very cute, charming a funny. Within a few weeks we exchanged numbers and started chatting on WhatsApp. After a while we agreed to meet up in person and we clicked like a house on fire. We met the following week again and had a ball of time together. The following two weeks were Easter Sunday and the following Sunday I was tied the following Sunday helping a friend. We stayed in contact every day and night and shared messages and Snap chatting each other every day. Met her last Sunday and we had a brilliant time together. We chatted Sunday night when I got home and I fell asleep then. Monday morning I texted her and I got the following message back “ You're fine, sooo tired this morning getting up for work how's you? xx “ this is the last message I have got as I have been blocked on WhatsApp and on Snapchat. I’m still a match on tinder with her and friends on Instagram with her. I have reached out to her and asked her what is going on but I have been ghosted!!! To be honest I didn’t think she was like this and if she was to message me again later in life I would accept her back into my life.

How do people cope when someone ghosts you? To be honest I’m a nervous wreck, not sleeping properly, not eating much and can’t focus at work. I’m stressed out and I would love to hear from her is all

Forget this semi-professional cuck stuff kid, you could easily go all the way to the major league.

Winter Potatoe · 03-05-2021 4:12pm

YellowLead wrote: »

Yes we are all getting sex too, and we don’t need to pay for it!!! It’s not that real life or escorts are the only option. The dating apps have their place! For me they only really work for casual sex. So why would I be paying for that when I can get it at the click of a (free) button.

The thing about escorts is that you don't need to be "happy" in order to get laid. Sex is only offered to guys who appear to be doing well. If a dude is feeling sad no woman is going to want his company. Is he likely to want sex while he's feeling down? Of course. Therefore his only option is an escort.

YellowLead · 03-05-2021 4:13pm

Winter Potatoe wrote: »

The thing about escorts is that you don't need to be "happy" in order to get laid. Sex is only offered to guys who appear to be doing well. If a dude is feeling sad no woman is going to want his company. Is he likely to want sex while he's feeling down? Of course. Therefore his only option is an escort.

If somebody wants to pay for sex then fine. I was just pointing out that we don’t all have to. The pandemic didn’t curtail all of us...

raclle · 03-05-2021 4:18pm

What's the ratio of men to women on Tinder?

Winter Potatoe · 03-05-2021 4:18pm

YellowLead wrote: »

If somebody wants to pay for sex then fine. I was just pointing out that we don’t all have to. The pandemic didn’t curtail all of us...

But it's not fine. It's illegal!

Winter Potatoe · 03-05-2021 4:20pm

raclle wrote: »

What's the ratio of men to women on Tinder?

If that's meant as a rhetorical question, then please... do tell!

raclle · 03-05-2021 4:22pm

Winter Potatoe wrote: »

If that's meant as a rhetorical question, then please... do tell!

Mother of god, can no one ask a simple question anymore without it having to mean something?

03-05-2021 4:23pm

raclle wrote: »

What's the ratio of men to women on Tinder?

No idea, but I've heard many times that men outnumber women on dating apps.

corks finest · 03-05-2021 4:24pm

Leg End Reject wrote: »

It sounds like she got back with an ex, or was seeing others at the same time and opted for one of them.

Don't let her back into your life if she makes contact later, it's very disrespectful not to send a text or call to let you know where you stand.

She's toxic bud , move on slowwwllllyy

Beatty69 · 03-05-2021 6:22pm

The problem with online dating at the moment is people have nothing to talk about. I did give it go last year out of boredom during the 1st lockdown but what do you talk to people about?

How was your day? Same aul same aul. Cases very high aren't they, it just got boring very quick.

I don't even text friends as often anymore because there's just no news.

Also, anyone who texts you "you okay?" if you haven't text them back after 5 minutes pisses me off. Yes I'm alright but I'm in work/with family/in a shop!

03-05-2021 6:27pm

Beatty69 wrote: »

The problem with online dating at the moment is people have nothing to talk about. I did give it go last year out of boredom during the 1st lockdown but what do you talk to people about?

How was your day? Same aul same aul. Cases very high aren't they, it just got boring very quick.

I don't even text friends as often anymore because there's just no news.

Also, anyone who texts you "you okay?" if you haven't text them back after 5 minutes pisses me off. Yes I'm alright but I'm in work/with family/in a shop!

I try get to the point ASAP. I'll generally ask for a date after a day or two.

Beatty69 · 03-05-2021 6:32pm

Deleted User wrote: »

I try get to the point ASAP. I'll generally ask for a date after a day or two.

Yeah, it's the best approach to see if you have a spark but where do you go nowadays except for a walk or a drive? Tough times for us singletons.

:D

raclle · 03-05-2021 6:33pm

Casual chat generally means its not going to happen but if you're serious and want to get to know one another then that's a different story.

Getting to the point too soon could come across as just looking for the ride.

Online dating is harder than most think

03-05-2021 6:34pm

Beatty69 wrote: »

Yeah, it's the best approach to see if you have a spark but where do you go nowadays except for a walk or a drive? Tough times for us singletons. :D

Coffee and walk. Coffee and walk.

That sums up the past year for me...

Beatty69 · 03-05-2021 6:35pm

Deleted User wrote: »

Coffee and walk. Coffee and walk.

That sums up the past year for me...

As soon as I have a coffee I want a pee as well so it's even more awkward.

:D

03-05-2021 6:36pm

Beatty69 wrote: »

As soon as I have a coffee I want a pee as well so it's even more awkward. :D

Coffee makes the other end wake up for me!

Em ugh pop pfft · 03-05-2021 6:38pm

I tried online dating for a while but it wasn't for me. I just found it too overwhelming.

Op, ghosting is not nice and considering you had been on actual dates with the woman, then she should have contacted you.

With online dating, many people will stop chatting and might not give an explanation and it's not nice but you don't know their reasons.

YellowLead · 03-05-2021 6:40pm

raclle wrote: »

Casual chat generally means its not going to happen but if you're serious and want to get to know one another then that's a different story.

Getting to the point too soon could come across as just looking for the ride.

Online dating is harder than most think

Yeah is a fine balance. And then every woman is different! I think it’s good to wait a few days but not as long as a week (if you have been chatting a bit every day). I’ve never encountered anyone who didn’t want to meet and just penpal it - but I’ve heard that’s a problem for guys.
If a gut asks me to meet and it’s only been a few messages it just feels a bit aggressive to me.

Beatty69 · 03-05-2021 6:43pm

YellowLead wrote: »

Yeah is a fine balance. And then every woman is different! I think it’s good to wait a few days but not as long as a week (if you have been chatting a bit every day). I’ve never encountered anyone who didn’t want to meet and just penpal it - but I’ve heard that’s a problem for guys.
If a gut asks me to meet and it’s only been a few messages it just feels a bit aggressive to me.

Some ask you meet after just one text message! That's a definite red flag. They're either just after the ride or serial killers.

:D

03-05-2021 6:44pm

The reason I ask quicker is because I got locked into a penpal situation a couple of times. Never again.

YellowLead · 03-05-2021 6:53pm

[Deleted User] wrote: »

The reason I ask quicker is because I got locked into a penpal situation a couple of times. Never again.

I assume you would wait for a day or two depending on volume of texts? Like it wouldn’t be text number 3 or 4?

03-05-2021 6:56pm

YellowLead wrote: »

I assume you would wait for a day or two depending on volume of texts? Like it wouldn’t be text number 3 or 4?

Oh god no, like if I can get a conversation going I'll ask. That could take a day or two, maybe a bit more. I definitely wouldn't go beyond 5 days without asking for a coffee.

Beatty69 · 03-05-2021 7:01pm

Guys do need to understand that women are in a lot more danger using the likes of Tinder.

Court case this week about a woman raped after meeting a Tinder date.

Definitely more dodgy at the moment because you can't meet in a restaurant or bar so it's either a walk or a drive, both of which can be dangerous when you don't know someone.

raclle · 03-05-2021 7:03pm

YellowLead wrote: »

Yeah is a fine balance. And then every woman is different!

You can say that again. We'll exchange snapchat or whatever and then numbers and when its time to arrange a meetup they suddenly get cold feet. I mean what's the point of giving me your number? So many times this has happened

colm_mcm · 03-05-2021 7:06pm

Beatty69 wrote: »

Guys do need to understand that women are in a lot more danger using the likes of Tinder.

Court case this week about a woman raped after meeting a Tinder date.

Definitely more dodgy at the moment because you can't meet in a restaurant or bar so it's either a walk or a drive, both of which can be dangerous when you don't know someone.

The traditional getting pissed and meeting in a nightclub is so much safer.

Church on Tuesday · 03-05-2021 7:12pm

Beatty69 wrote: »

Guys do need to understand that women are in a lot more danger using the likes of Tinder.

Court case this week about a woman raped after meeting a Tinder date.

Definitely more dodgy at the moment because you can't meet in a restaurant or bar so it's either a walk or a drive, both of which can be dangerous when you don't know someone.

An extremely rare case.

Most victims of sexual assault already know their attacker.

Men on dating apps are not sexual predators. If I meet a woman for a date I always make sure it's in a public setting for my safety and hers.

YellowLead · 03-05-2021 7:13pm

raclle wrote: »

You can say that again. We'll exchange snapchat or whatever and then numbers and when its time to arrange a meetup they suddenly get cold feet. I mean what's the point of giving me your number? So many times this has happened

I guess you have to take into consideration they are prob chatting with a bunch of other guys at the same time.

Personally - I don’t exchange numbers until after the first date or until definite plans for a date have at least been made.

I usually let guys know I’m also chatting to others and planning other dates and it’s up to them whether they want to continue, knowing that information. Unless I really like them, then I’ll keep my mouth shut unless they ask specifically

raclle · 03-05-2021 7:20pm

YellowLead wrote: »

I usually let guys know I’m also chatting to others and planning other dates and it’s up to them whether they want to continue, knowing that information. Unless I really like them, then I’ll keep my mouth shut unless they ask specifically

I had one woman like that and it kind of got a bit awkward. I asked to meet on a certain date and if she was meeting anyone else around that time. She got a bit pissed to say the least

YellowLead · 03-05-2021 7:38pm

raclle wrote: »

I had one woman like that and it kind of got a bit awkward. I asked to meet on a certain date and if she was meeting anyone else around that time. She got a bit pissed to say the least

There you go - asking is always better. Want to weed out the sneaky / pissy people

MayoAreMagic · 03-05-2021 8:14pm

YellowLead wrote: »

I guess you have to take into consideration they are prob chatting with a bunch of other guys at the same time.

Personally - I don’t exchange numbers until after the first date or until definite plans for a date have at least been made.

I usually let guys know I’m also chatting to others and planning other dates and it’s up to them whether they want to continue, knowing that information. Unless I really like them, then I’ll keep my mouth shut unless they ask specifically

I find that the problem with this kind of approach is you tend to not give people an honest chance because there are multiple others in your head at the same time, while the other person is left a bit cold, so yiu never really are open to making a proper connection. Similarly the guy you 'really like' is often the usual brass necked type, who already know you are into them and will ghost you without a second thought, because they are doing the same with 3 or 4 other women at the same time.

Years ago, I was set up on a date with a girl with this same attitude. Lovely looking girl, funny, good fun, but I found her delight in telling me that she had 4 different dates set up for this week to be quite off putting. She had also dated a semi famous gaa player and clearly still held out hope. We had a good bit in common and I understood why our friends had tried to put us together, but her approach was a total buzz kill and I kinda turned off.
10 years later, she is currently single. I would be confident in saying that her approach was and is a big factor in this end result, rather than just not meeting someone she liked etc.

YellowLead · 03-05-2021 8:18pm

Oh agree. It just happens sometimes. I mean otherwise if as soon as you matched you paused your profiles you’d be a long time waiting a not every match turns into a chat, and not every chat turns into somebody you want to meet.

MayoAreMagic · 03-05-2021 8:49pm

YellowLead wrote: »

Oh agree. It just happens sometimes. I mean otherwise if as soon as you matched you paused your profiles you’d be a long time waiting a not every match turns into a chat, and not every chat turns into somebody you want to meet.

Well matchs are one thing, but routinely setting up several dates with several people at once is another. It is cold and a turn off for any person who actually wants to meet someone, which thereby makes it counter productive. Plus Ive never heard of it actually working. The end goal should be to meet someone, rather than rack up dates, i believe.

YellowLead · 03-05-2021 8:52pm

MayoAreMagic wrote: »

Well matchs are one thing, but routinely setting up several dates with several people at once is another. It is cold and a turn off for any person who actually wants to meet someone, which thereby makes it counter productive. Plus Ive never heard of it actually working. The end goal should be to meet someone, rather than rack up dates, i believe.

I agree and once I ge chatting to somebody I really like I tend to pause and stop swiping. I’m just saying it can happen sometimes. Not saying it is ideal.
But somebody asked why girls exchange umbers etc and then don’t want to actually meet - i though that might be why, that they are chatting to a few at once.

raclle · 03-05-2021 9:01pm

YellowLead wrote: »

But somebody asked why girls exchange umbers etc and then don’t want to actually meet - i though that might be why, that they are chatting to a few at once.

and that is what makes it so hard. You're competing with others but like the above poster mentioned I'd rather not be told that information as it is awkward/off putting to say the least. I can only imagine its the same for women

YellowLead · 03-05-2021 9:09pm

raclle wrote: »

and that is what makes it so hard. You're competing with others but like the above poster mentioned I'd rather not be told that information as it is awkward/off putting to say the least. I can only imagine its the same for women

It depends. If somebody says they haven’t had a date all year or haven’t had a match or couldn’t get anyone to talk to them in ages that’s a bit off putting also.

If a guy is looking like he is getting too clingy, too into me like I’m his only hope then it’s for his own good I mention I’m chatting to a few others also.

JoChervil · 03-05-2021 9:29pm

raclle wrote: »

and that is what makes it so hard. You're competing with others but like the above poster mentioned I'd rather not be told that information as it is awkward/off putting to say the least. I can only imagine its the same for women

So why did you ask about it, if you would rather not know? You mentioned about it in one of your previous posts.

We are discussing here a situation just at the very beginning, when I assume meetings are quite innocent, just trying to know each other better.

Just take such a situation. A girl is matched with 3 guys, which all she quite likes. So what you expect her to do. Choose one (when she doesn't know them well enough to do so) and keep others on hold? If you were in the second group, would you be happy that you are the second or even the third best? Or would you prefer to have a decent chance to win her in a competitive situation. And be the best at the end.

JoChervil · 03-05-2021 9:34pm

raclle wrote: »

and that is what makes it so hard. You're competing with others but like the above poster mentioned I'd rather not be told that information as it is awkward/off putting to say the least. I can only imagine its the same for women

And it is always better to assume that people in relationships are competing with others all the time. The moment you start taking another person for granted you might loose them....

raclle · 03-05-2021 9:59pm

JoChervil wrote: »

So why did you ask about it, if you would rather not know? You mentioned about it in one of your previous posts.

It only happened the once and I was being sarcastic. I never bring it up and if its mentioned to me then I'm out of there

ulster · 03-05-2021 10:20pm

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Today I learned I'm a top tier man!

How much do you earn.

ulster · 03-05-2021 10:25pm

Em ugh pop pfft wrote: »

The men on here posting are sounding 'blockworthy' lol :pac:

Are you a woman or some random bloke?

03-05-2021 10:35pm

ulster wrote: »

How much do you earn.

I never tell any date that. In fact, hardly anyone knows that.

Ms. Newbie18 · 04-05-2021 4:18pm

Online dating is a total mind field. With a limited success rate.

There is definitely a lot of grasses greener syndrome online.

partyguinness · 04-05-2021 5:24pm

Deleted User wrote: »

I never tell any date that. In fact, hardly anyone knows that.

People ask that...:eek:

Even my wife does not know how much I earn. Hell, she doesn't even know I own a 2 bed apartment with a sitting tenant that I operate through my own limited company- she doesnt even know about the company either.

Ghosted after a few good dates

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