Passing Away Peacefully.

Tony EH · 29-05-2015 1:49am

Larbre34 wrote: »

My granda nearly died in his sleep but missed, he got out of bed, was half way through a shave when the heart gave out, fell into the bath into slapstick comedy pose.

Sorry for laughing, but I genuinely LOL'd at that.

darkpagandeath · 29-05-2015 1:52am

Tony EH wrote: »

Strangely enough, I found R. Budd Dwyer's death less shocking than that Indian guy.

I wish I hand not watched that..

Gael23 · 13-12-2018 12:15pm

A very close relative dies of cancer in May. She had no surgery or any form of treatment and it took her 4 months to die in a nursing home.
She did die peacefully in the end but suffered a lot in the last few weeks before the hospice nurses came in.

Feisar · 13-12-2018 12:16pm

I'll go roaring like a bad ass on the bog.

harr · 13-12-2018 12:39pm

cnoc wrote: »

My mother died a number of years ago from cancer. I was one of the family around her bed at the time of passing. She had suffered for months and her body had faded a lot. She was on morphine. Literally seconds before she passed, she glanced at me with a kind of smile (we were very close) next thing she was gone. Immediately she passed all her colour returned to her face and she no longer looked drawn - has anyone experienced this kind of thing?

Yes , I had an uncle who died from cancer , he suffered for the few months he had it but thankfully the last few weeks of his life were peaceful enough thanks to pain management. So he could communicate up to his last few hours but the cancer had riddled his body and looked completely different to the fit man he was only months earlier. As you described we could see him changing back to how he once looked almost instantaneous after he died. Surreal experience Really.

13-12-2018 1:04pm

kneemos wrote: »

Does anybody pass away peacefully in their sleep or is it just a case there was nobody around to see the last moments?
Surely if you're dying there's going to be some sort of fighting for breath or chest pain.

Maybe it does happen,just always took it with a pinch of salt.

I think it happens just not all that often. A few years ago for example one of the last original members of - not sure if it was The Dubliners or the Fureys - who lived near the pier in Howth died while having breakfast.

The guy who was with him at the time says they were having food and chat as normal - and he just rested his chin down to his chest between sentences - and never looked up again.

Wouldn't mind going that way myself. Though I always did like the line "I want to die like I was born - naked and screaming in the general vicinity of a vagina".

kerryjack · 13-12-2018 1:28pm

A great tread for a dreary winters day wasn't there for both my parents passing the rest of siblings were jostling for places around the bed it was like the start of the grand national. I choose to stay away and remember them when they were a live and well. Don't believe in that waiting to die i hope when my time will come i will be able to take a tablet and a lap dance and be gone.

Bigbagofcans · 13-12-2018 3:29pm

The posts on this thread have me welling up, both with sadness and joy that a lot of people got to see their loved ones have a peaceful passing.

mad muffin · 13-12-2018 3:37pm

Saw my dog pass away peacefully in front of my eyes. He was old abut didn’t show any signs of illness or distress. One minute I’m looking at him rolling around in the grass as he often did. The next he was motionless.

0lddog · 13-12-2018 3:55pm

"Waking up dead" is it ?

I know of a few people who did that ( mostly with no reason to expect same ) .

Probably a good way to go but can be hard on those left behind.

NSAman · 13-12-2018 5:20pm

Feisar wrote: »

I'll go roaring like a bad ass on the bog.

Being found on a toilet, isn't the most dignified way of going.

The Bishop Basher · 13-12-2018 5:24pm

[Deleted User] wrote: »

I think it happens just not all that often. A few years ago for example one of the last original members of - not sure if it was The Dubliners or the Fureys - who lived near the pier in Howth died while having breakfast.

The guy who was with him at the time says they were having food and chat as normal - and he just rested his chin down to his chest between sentences - and never looked up again.

Barney.. a gentleman and a legend..

DEFTLEFTHAND · 13-12-2018 5:28pm

I was there when a gran aunt died in hospital. It came on suddenly after she'd eaten dinner.

She had had congestive heart failure for months. She just said to the room suddenly 'I can't see, get him' (the doctor).

Just slipped into unconsciousness and died 5 minutes later. When the nurses let us back into the room I though she looked very peaceful. It seemed like falling asleep.

Noveight · 13-12-2018 7:45pm

My Da often told the story of being there when his uncle died.

He died a frail old man in his late 80’s. Lying in the hospital bed with some of his close family in the room. Dad would say that he was asleep and the colour slowly drained from his face and he simply breathed no more. No coughing, spluttering or wheezing, peaceful as could be.

No point worrying about what’s in store for us, but that’d be a great way to go.

Stovepipe · 13-12-2018 8:03pm

My uncle's first wife died in what could only be described as instant death. He had just returned from a tour of UN service in the Congo, in 1961 and was having a lie-in in bed. His wife, a petite woman who was like Audrey Hepburn, was at the kitchen table chatting to family members, including my Mam and they heard him wake up, so she stood up, said, "I'll bring him up his breakfast" and made up a tray and went upstairs. My uncle was sitting up in bed and she opened the door, went in and laid the tray across his lap, stood back a step and promptly fell flat across the bed, rolled onto her back, eyes wide open. My uncle roared the place down and the family dashed upstairs. Mam said she was lying there, bright blue eyes wide open, smile on her face, dead as a doornail. The doctor later said that she had had a massive heart attack (she was known to have a weak heart) and was dead before she hit the bed.

Spanish Eyes · 13-12-2018 10:02pm

Surreal to open Boards and see this thread tonight.

Today we buried my lovely mother. She died peacefully with shorter breaths and longer times between them. Very calm and in no distress or pain, not hooked up to anything, just gone. I am probably still in shock, but will be so glad in the future I suppose that she was not crying or frightened or in any discomfort.

Not in hospital either which is a blessing that many cannot avail of. Peaceful room, soft lighting, her favourite music on in the background and care that was second to none.

Filling up here my friends, but she is gone now. Bless her.

It is raw as it was just today, but good to let it out for now. Wishing all other who are or will be going through such a loss my best wishes.

There is such a thing as a peaceful passing.

I'll probably be howling at the moon when the shock phase ends. But that's inevitable.

Mam of 4 · 13-12-2018 10:08pm

Am so sorry for your loss Spanish Eyes . It sounds as if your mam had a beautiful peaceful passing , which is all any of us can hope for when we're losing a loved one . My dad passed away in September in a very similar way .

Look after yourself and take a little time if you can to have a few moments for yourself .

Gael23 · 13-12-2018 10:11pm

Stovepipe wrote: »

My uncle's first wife died in what could only be described as instant death. He had just returned from a tour of UN service in the Congo, in 1961 and was having a lie-in in bed. His wife, a petite woman who was like Audrey Hepburn, was at the kitchen table chatting to family members, including my Mam and they heard him wake up, so she stood up, said, "I'll bring him up his breakfast" and made up a tray and went upstairs. My uncle was sitting up in bed and she opened the door, went in and laid the tray across his lap, stood back a step and promptly fell flat across the bed, rolled onto her back, eyes wide open. My uncle roared the place down and the family dashed upstairs. Mam said she was lying there, bright blue eyes wide open, smile on her face, dead as a doornail. The doctor later said that she had had a massive heart attack (she was known to have a weak heart) and was dead before she hit the bed.

My mums uncle went similar to that. He had a serious heart problem but was generally well and living a normal life. The Saturday night before Father’s Day 2000 he has came in from working in his garden and was siting alone in his kitchen. A short time later his daughter came in and he told her he didn’t feel well and immediately put his hands on his chest. She screamed the house down while someone rang 999, he was dead before the ambulance got there.
18 years on I can still take you to the chair I was sitting on when I got that phone call

Spanish Eyes · 13-12-2018 10:11pm

Mam of 4 wrote: »

Am so sorry for your loss Spanish Eyes . It sounds as if your mam had a beautiful peaceful passing , which is all any of us can hope for when we're losing a loved one . My dad passed away in September in a very similar way .

Look after yourself and take a little time if you can to have a few moments for yourself .

My sympathy on the loss of your Dad too. It seems unreal to me at the moment, but I'm sure the reality will hit soon. Just having tea and toast and soon to bed. Thanks for good wishes. Same to you.

Poochie05 · 13-12-2018 10:15pm

Condolences Spanish Eyes, sorry to hear of your mother's passing

up for anything · 13-12-2018 10:55pm

So sorry about your mother, Spanish Eyes. My heart goes out to you. It took three months

Like yourself, I found it peculiar to open up After Hours this evening and see this thread. My mum died three years short a few days and it was only this morning I was thinking about her and how she'd died. She died 'in her sleep' beside my dad and not waking him. Although he said she was unsettled at some part of the night but that would not be unusual as she had terrible arthritis and found it difficult to get comfortable at times. He regrets not coming awake properly to see was she ok. I hope that she actually took her last breath in peaceful sleep and that she didn't die struggling on her own and that's what he heard.

4Ad · 13-12-2018 11:03pm

Spanish Eyes wrote: »

Surreal to open Boards and see this thread tonight.

Today we buried my lovely mother. She died peacefully with shorter breaths and longer times between them. Very calm and in no distress or pain, not hooked up to anything, just gone. I am probably still in shock, but will be so glad in the future I suppose that she was not crying or frightened or in any discomfort.

Not in hospital either which is a blessing that many cannot avail of. Peaceful room, soft lighting, her favourite music on in the background and care that was second to none.

Filling up here my friends, but she is gone now. Bless her.

It is raw as it was just today, but good to let it out for now. Wishing all other who are or will be going through such a loss my best wishes.

There is such a thing as a peaceful passing.

I'll probably be howling at the moon when the shock phase ends. But that's inevitable.

I'm so sorry to hear that..death is never easy but at least ye were there and your Mother died surrounded by her family..I'm sure she is proud of all of ye all..

I was the only one there when my Mum passed late at night, I was happy to be there, traumatic as it was.
It gets easier over time.

Wishing you the best in the future and next few days..

weiland79 · 13-12-2018 11:39pm

Boards is such a funny place. Most of the time i just read trivial stuff to pass some time but on occasion i stumble across a thread that i have to read from start to finish.
Its been lovely and sad to read about peoples experiences, thank you all for sharing.

Hannibal_Smith · 13-12-2018 11:56pm

Very sorry for your loss Spanish Eyes

NSAman · 14-12-2018 12:04am

Condolences Spanish Eyes. No matter how you "prepare" you are never prepared.

While my dad passed away, the instant state of shock was horrendous. Followed by a simple, have to stay strong for my Mother. The funeral preparations were and still are some of the funniest and saddest parts of my life to date. My dad was a character.

The wake was a great time, filled full of fun, sadness and lots of good chats about my dad.

It wasn't until about a week later that the "shock" hit and hit hard. I am not one to cry, not one to sit and contemplate my life. I had to go abroad for work and literally like a brick wall hit me, balled my eyes out, had to leave a meeting and just walked, sat beside the sea alone and just cried. Some woman came up to me and sat with me, I was embarrassed but just couldn't stop. She didn't speak English I didn't speak her language but she knew....

The next day I felt completely drained. Couldn't do anything. Cancelled all my meetings and just went home to the family.

Give yourself time. I thought I was good and strong but still couldn't handle it all. It took a few weeks to actually come to the full realisation of things. It does get easier but certain times of the year are harder.... great memories of a great man.

tupenny · 14-12-2018 12:11am

looksee wrote: »

My mum was sick and elderly, she knew it was time. She spent the day in bed only for the last two days of her life and passed very peacefully - there was absolutely no doubt about that when we saw her - she had had someone with her 24 hours a day for the last few days but managed to be alone - she sent my sister to 'get some rest' - for less than an hour when she passed away.

she was, as always, in charge right till the end. She did it her way!

Similar experience here, she passed while my mam and her brother was swapping over, within tthose 2 minutes .
Not a coincidence

Buford T. Justice XIX · 14-12-2018 12:18am

Spanish Eyes wrote: »

Surreal to open Boards and see this thread tonight.

Today we buried my lovely mother. She died peacefully with shorter breaths and longer times between them. Very calm and in no distress or pain, not hooked up to anything, just gone. I am probably still in shock, but will be so glad in the future I suppose that she was not crying or frightened or in any discomfort.

Not in hospital either which is a blessing that many cannot avail of. Peaceful room, soft lighting, her favourite music on in the background and care that was second to none.

Filling up here my friends, but she is gone now. Bless her.

It is raw as it was just today, but good to let it out for now. Wishing all other who are or will be going through such a loss my best wishes.

There is such a thing as a peaceful passing.

I'll probably be howling at the moon when the shock phase ends. But that's inevitable.

Sorry for your loss, Spanish Eyes. Take care of yourself too, it sometimes takes a while to register. My father died 3 years ago and we spent a lot of time before and after the funeral recounting the funny stories and things he did like spending a few days and nights singing in the hospital after a stroke.

It only really registered with me this year but when it hits any of us, we end up ringing one another until we have to hang up with laughing.

sadie1502 · 14-12-2018 12:22am

My mam passed away 24th November still so raw can't believe she is gone. Massive stroke three weeks prior to her passing. She didn't regain consciousness. Passed very peacefully we stayed with her the nights prior on the floor in the hospital my brother was with her four deep breathes and she passed away. The morphine was so mild a person with a broken leg would get the same dosage it's not the medication it's the illness in the end. But by all accounts she seemed very peaceful. Wish she was here.

Heckler · 14-12-2018 1:11am

My fathers 14th anniversary is coming up in Jan. We brought him to the hospital on christmas eve and he never left. We all got the call on jan 10th to come to the hospital immediately. I was the first there and was told to wait outside his room. A nurse came out after a while and told me he was dead.

It was the weirdest feeling. My whole body went numb. I couldn't move for a few minutes. Then I had to wait for other family members to arrive and tell them plus 2 abroad who I had to tell by phone.

When we were let in to see him he didn't look the best and my mother was upset at that. I asked the nurse could they not have made him more "presentable" for lack of a better word. We were told that they leave patients till family see them once they passed.

My regret is I was visiting him the day before but I left early because I wanted to pick something up in a shop that was closing. And he was all "go on away I'll see you tomorrow".

We were never the closest but he was my Dad and that night will stay with me forever.

And very sorry for your loss Spanish Eyes.

Spanish Eyes · 14-12-2018 2:15pm

Hi all, and thank you so much for your kind thoughts. They are returned to those who have also lost a loved one.

The past few weeks I have been trying to distract myself, and have been posting some rubbish on Boards. Apologies if I might not have made sense or seemed insensitive in any of the posts, but that's what happens, but I don't think I did.

Anyway doing that during mam's dying phase really helped distract me.

Thank you again.

Passing Away Peacefully.

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