Etiquette - Young Girls In Mens Changing Rooms.

Green Hornet · 04-08-2008 8:57pm #1

Just wondering what people feel about young girls in the mens changing rooms at Kingfisher swimming pool? I'm a member but have noticed an increase in the number of young girls (under 6 or so) in the room when the men are changing.

I'm not a prude and have used changing rooms without cubicles for years but in my previous experience I've never seen little girls in the room when there are men with their privates hanging out. I find it uncomfortable when I'm changing and some guy brings in his little daughter and my bits are on show.

Is this normal etiquette?

Fajitas! · 04-08-2008 8:59pm

Moved from Spraoi thread.

I assume you meant to start a new one... I could move this to one of the fitness forums, where more members might attend gyms if you want. Let me know if you do.

Fwiw, I would not feel comfortable in your position in there.

Green Hornet · 04-08-2008 9:00pm

Fajitas! wrote: »

Moved from Spraoi thread.

I assume you meant to start a new one... I could move this to one of the fitness forums, where more members might attend gyms if you want. Let me know if you do.

Fwiw, I would not feel comfortable in your position in there.

Thanks Fajitas. Meant to start a new thread. Actually, it might be a good idea to move it to the swimming forum.

kryogen · 04-08-2008 9:02pm

Green Hornet wrote: »

Oops. Wrong forum....:o

are you lost?

nice edit my friend

Fajitas! · 04-08-2008 9:05pm

Edit it back into your post, and I'll move it over for you!

Cabaal · 04-08-2008 9:13pm

Its a difficult situation to call, in fairness its unfair to not allow fathers to bring their children into the changing rooms when mothers can bring their kids in.

Understandably its likely to be uncomfortable, perhaps kingfisher should have private individial changing rooms for parents and kids for situations like this?

Green Hornet · 04-08-2008 9:16pm

Cabaal wrote: »

Its a difficult situation to call, in fairness its unfair to not allow fathers to bring their children into the changing rooms when mothers can bring their kids in.

Understandably its likely to be uncomfortable, perhaps kingfisher should have private individial changing rooms for parents and kids for situations like this?

Yeah, I can understand that fathers might want to bring their daughters to the pool. Your idea is a good one.

Fajitas! · 04-08-2008 9:24pm

Sent to Swimming.

hunnymonster · 05-08-2008 10:16am

I think 7 is the usual age that pools/gyms ask opposite sex kids to change in the correct changing room and not with the other sex parent but I can completely understand being slightly uncomfortable.

griffin100 · 06-08-2008 12:54pm

My wife was in the gym lasy week and there was a mother with two boys of about 7 and 10 in the ladies changing room. This made her very uncomfortable. If it were two girls of that age in a mens changing room I too would be very uncomfortable!

cantalach · 12-08-2008 11:07am

Hey this will knock your socks off: at the pool where my kids have swimming lessons, it's very common for the moms to go into the men's changing room to help their not-so-little darling sons get changed afterwards. There are only children in the pool during the morning so it's not as though there will be any men trying to get changed in there at that time. But that's hardly the point is it. When I challenged one of them on one occasion she unapologetically explained that "he's a bit too old to get changed in the women's." I suggested in response that in that case he should be able to get himself changed (he was 8-9!) but this didn't go down too well. When I raised the issue with the manager on duty she said that their legal advice was that they had to let the moms go into the changing rooms with the boys because of the risk of paedophiles!

thirdmantackle · 12-08-2008 11:12am

surely they could put the kids into a cubicle to change?

very strange behaviour

cantalach · 12-08-2008 11:16am

thirdmantackle wrote: »

surely they could put the kids into a cubicle to change?

Small changing room with no cubicles - just benches along both sides and showers at the back.

axer · 12-08-2008 11:19am

Is there no cubicles at all? If there is then I cannot see why they are not being used by those mothers etc.

It wouldnt really bother me though. People are still afraid of nudity in Ireland. I have gotten used to the continent where it is not a big deal. Who gives a f'uck who sees your dangly bits as long as nobody is there with a camera recording for youtube.

topper75 · 15-08-2008 10:05am

Yeah the 'issue' with nudity in this country (and Britain) is hilarious. It's not like people's so-called private parts vary that greatly. It is just a mental hang-up.

I think in the cases outlined above that the gym rather than the people are at fault. The onus is on them to provide some manner of 'family' cubicles.

Neamhshuntasach · 15-08-2008 12:21pm

It's a little uncomfortable all right. I had a father come up and ask me to put "that thing away" while i was drying off. He had his 2 daughters in the men's changing rooms. It pissed me off because after all it was a men's changing room and that was exactly what i was doing. I told him to put them away and read the sign on the door the next time.

Green Hornet · 15-08-2008 12:40pm

Neamhshuntasach wrote: »

It's a little uncomfortable all right. I had a father come up and ask me to put "that thing away" while i was drying off. He had his 2 daughters in the men's changing rooms. It pissed me off because after all it was a men's changing room and that was exactly what i was doing. I told him to put them away and read the sign on the door the next time.

Well said! Dead right.

Stark · 15-08-2008 12:43pm

I'm more worried about the parent's reaction than the kid seeing my bits to be honest. "Oh my god, my daughter saw your penis. You pervert". If the parent isn't bothered (most aren't), then I'm not too pushed either, although I do tend to be a little bit more discreet when getting changed. Mothers having the cheek to get offended by manbits in the men's changing rooms on the other hand will get a faceful.

RuailleBuaille · 15-08-2008 4:38pm

topper75 wrote: »

Yeah the 'issue' with nudity in this country (and Britain) is hilarious. It's not like people's so-called private parts vary that greatly. It is just a mental hang-up.

I agree. I mean, a little girl is getting changed with her dad, she might catch a glimpse of him, she catches a glimpse of other men and she realises they all have penises. Not the end of the world. Same thing happens on the beach. You catch a glimpse, it's not perving or anything.
Saying that, I would love to see what the father's reaction would be if everyone just got on with it, strolling round naked. Would he have an issue with it?
I think these days it's sad how we project our sexual issues onto children.

RuailleBuaille · 15-08-2008 4:45pm

Neamhshuntasach wrote: »

It's a little uncomfortable all right. I had a father come up and ask me to put "that thing away" while i was drying off. He had his 2 daughters in the men's changing rooms. It pissed me off because after all it was a men's changing room and that was exactly what i was doing. I told him to put them away and read the sign on the door the next time.

That is hilarious!! He evidently did a 'cockscan' upon entering the room and saw yours as a threat (to him or his daughters - you decide) whilst his poor daughters probably had no idea what the fuss was!
The bloody cheek of the man! :eek:
This is why I think it's sad we project our sex issues onto children. Most young kids wouldn't associate a penis or vagina with sex, so making a big deal about seeing one gets alarm bells ringing for a child and then guilt and shame and secrecy take hold. It's unneccessary.

Chris Peak · 20-08-2008 1:28am

cantalach wrote: »

Hey this will knock your socks off: at the pool where my kids have swimming lessons, it's very common for the moms to go into the men's changing room to help their not-so-little darling sons get changed afterwards. There are only children in the pool during the morning so it's not as though there will be any men trying to get changed in there at that time. But that's hardly the point is it. When I challenged one of them on one occasion she unapologetically explained that "he's a bit too old to get changed in the women's." I suggested in response that in that case he should be able to get himself changed (he was 8-9!) but this didn't go down too well. When I raised the issue with the manager on duty she said that their legal advice was that they had to let the moms go into the changing rooms with the boys because of the risk of paedophiles!

So, can a Dad go into the womens changing room to help his daughter? Or, protect her from any potential Myra Hyndley's....?

Not bloody likely!:rolleyes:

Johnny Utah · 21-08-2008 11:02am

cantalach wrote: »

Hey this will knock your socks off: at the pool where my kids have swimming lessons, it's very common for the moms to go into the men's changing room to help their not-so-little darling sons get changed afterwards. There are only children in the pool during the morning so it's not as though there will be any men trying to get changed in there at that time. But that's hardly the point is it. When I challenged one of them on one occasion she unapologetically explained that "he's a bit too old to get changed in the women's." I suggested in response that in that case he should be able to get himself changed (he was 8-9!) but this didn't go down too well. When I raised the issue with the manager on duty she said that their legal advice was that they had to let the moms go into the changing rooms with the boys because of the risk of paedophiles!

They got bad legal advice then so. By allowing women into the men's changing room, the pool are leaving themselves open to a case on breach of privacy. Rather, the pool should provide a number of cubicles where the moms and sons can go should they choose to do so.

Chris Peak wrote: »

So, can a Dad go into the womens changing room to help his daughter? Or, protect her from any potential Myra Hyndley's....?
Not bloody likely!:rolleyes:

Exactly, that's equality for you!

walshb · 21-08-2008 11:13am

I brought this issue up at my local gym where young girls were allowed roam freely around the shower area in full view of men, both clothed and naked, as you expect to see in a mens gym. It is completely wrong and doesn't in any way compare to women bringing their young children into the womens changing area. Men and women in this regard are completely different. Does anyone know of any legitimate cases of female pedophiles?
I was told that there was nothing that could be done and I firmly believe for a man to allow
his 5 or 6 year old daughter (naked) to be in the presence of many naked and strange men is obscene and wrong

cantalach · 21-08-2008 11:40am

walshb wrote: »

Does anyone know of any legitimate cases of female pedophiles?

Myra Hindley for one.

walshb · 21-08-2008 11:42am

cantalach wrote: »

Myra Hindley for one.

C'mon, I think its safe to say that the risks posed by women to children regarding sex abuse is absolute minimal. Men through history and nature will always pose a far more serious risk

Stark · 21-08-2008 12:05pm

So you're saying girls are being sexually abused while their fathers are in with them getting changed?

cantalach · 21-08-2008 12:41pm

walshb wrote: »

C'mon, I think its safe to say that the risks posed by women to children regarding sex abuse is absolute minimal. Men through history and nature will always pose a far more serious risk

Ah...I'm not saying anything mate. You asked for a case of a female paedophile and I gave you a name!

walshb · 21-08-2008 12:52pm

Was she a pedophile or a child murderer. There is a difference here.

I don't think she was a pedophile.

Anyway, that is neither here nor there. I think there is a massive difference
between a woman bringing her 5 or 6 year old
son or daughter into a public shower area amongst women and a man bringing
his 5 or 6 year old son or daughter into a public shower area amongst men. That's the point here.

walshb · 21-08-2008 12:53pm

Stark wrote: »

So you're saying girls are being sexually abused while their fathers are in with them getting changed?

I never said that, but I'm sure there have been plenty of cases of it happening.

Read above what my point is.

hunnymonster · 21-08-2008 1:06pm

walshb wrote: »

Anyway, that is neither here nor there. I think there is a massive difference
between a woman bringing her 5 or 6 year old
son or daughter into a public shower area amongst women and a man bringing
his 5 or 6 year old daughter into a public shower area amongst men. That's the point here.

I think that is very unfair. It's almost an assumption of guilt based on gender!

A child of 6 should be able to dress him/herself, maybe not perfectly but well enough to use the correct changing room. Mum or dad might have to put the finishing touches afterwards. A child of 6 should be confident enough, well enough versed in what to do if approached by a stranger that they would scream the place down in the (VERY VERY) unlikely event of them finding themselves alone in a changing room in an uncomfortable situation. It's an extension of the don't take sweets from the strange man in a car chat that we've all had with the kids we care about.

cantalach · 21-08-2008 1:08pm

walshb wrote: »

Was she a pedophile or a child murderer. There is a difference here.

I don't think she was a pedophile.

She assisted Brady when he was raping and sexually abusing several of the victims, both male and female. At a minimum, this makes her an accomplice to paedophilia. I would call her a paedophile as a result. Remember that she didn't personally murder any of the victims either but she is regarded as a murderer. In any case, when Brady was being cross-examined he said something about them all getting dressed after one of the rapes, suggesting that Hindley was more than just a passive participant.

Etiquette - Young Girls In Mens Changing Rooms.

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