Why don't men approach women?

Affable · 03-10-2009 10:45am

I don't know. I'm currently utterly in love with someone. Her face haunts me.
She gives me mixed at best signals and women are impossible to read. I'm tired of emptiness and I just dont wanna play it cool any more with someone I'm not bothered about. I wish I could say it to her, I keep chatting and asked her to a party last night but nothing doing.

Maybe men don't approach because it is so downright impossible toascertain what the woman feels, and most times less and less women want any commitment these days.

Wibbs · 03-10-2009 6:59pm

Affable wrote: »

women are impossible to read/it is so downright impossible to ascertain what the woman feels

No they're really not and no it really isn't. Ever have a woman you weren't interested in make a play for you? You spotted her "signals". You could read her easy enough. So why if it's a woman you're interested in does it become impossible? It doesn't it just means you're own wants and feelings are clouding your judgement. Then again I make it a point not to fall in love with someone until I have a notion she is feeling a similar vibe.

In any case approaching women I wouldn't be thinking about whether she liked me or not. Why should I? She doesn't know me yet.

BumbleB · 03-10-2009 8:52pm

Wibbs wrote: »

No they're really not and no it really isn't. Ever have a woman you weren't interested in make a play for you? You spotted her "signals". You could read her easy enough. So why if it's a woman you're interested in does it become impossible? It doesn't it just means you're own wants and feelings are clouding your judgement. Then again I make it a point not to fall in love with someone until I have a notion she is feeling a similar vibe.

In any case approaching women I wouldn't be thinking about whether she liked me or not. Why should I? She doesn't know me yet.

Real good post, women are giving out signals all of the time .They're not obvious to the many people who believe that they dont exist because these people spend all their time picking up eveidence to support their own mindset.

Open your eyes , get into the 'present ' the now, stop thinking about you and start watching the world around you. When youre walking about stop and look up at the sky then look at the trees, birds and flowers.

Then apply all that to a nightclub situation before long you will realise there is so much going on out there that youre missing.

Affable · 04-10-2009 5:59am

Wibbs wrote: »

No they're really not and no it really isn't. Ever have a woman you weren't interested in make a play for you? You spotted her "signals". You could read her easy enough. So why if it's a woman you're interested in does it become impossible? It doesn't it just means you're own wants and feelings are clouding your judgement. Then again I make it a point not to fall in love with someone until I have a notion she is feeling a similar vibe.

In any case approaching women I wouldn't be thinking about whether she liked me or not. Why should I? She doesn't know me yet.

Yeah you're right. Basically, I got problems with this specific girl. I like her loads and with some girls they give me those initial signals but I reckon I screw up maybe too keen who knows, though I'm always natural enough.
I want to let her know I find her interesting and want to hear more but maybe it's that earnestness, or relative earnestness, that gives some types of girls the idea they will take you for a ride. Signals are hard with her because she shows affectiona nd reveals some then buggers off and it's not quite easy to judge. I think some just sense your interest then get bored.

Ulsteryank · 04-10-2009 7:45am

Some people are just shy, or afraid of rejection. Maybe they need to "click" with someone before they can be open verbally, or need a few pints in them.

Affable · 04-10-2009 9:46am

I don't think she's shy. But like I say, basically if you are too earnest or interested in the girl more deeply...well, they say they want that stuff outwardly, in general, but actually they don't, they gravitate more to the guys who are less trustworthy, who bull**** them, who aren't so interested in them.

Anyway, I can get negative or positive signals but not mixed ones and whether they are deliberate games or what they mean.

boars.ie · 06-10-2009 7:31am

BumbleB wrote: »

Open your eyes , get into the 'present ' the now, stop thinking about you and start watching the world around you. When youre walking about stop and look up at the sky then look at the trees, birds and flowers.

Sheer drivel.

scanlas · 06-10-2009 4:11pm

boars.ie wrote: »

Sheer drivel.

Couldn't be further from the truth. BumbleB's advice could make alot of people enjoy there live's a lot more. Being stuck in the thoughts in your head causes widespread depression and suffering. Being in the now makes you sharper and happier. It's also very attractive to women. But to be honest I don't think you really know what being in the now is, you probably have some misguided hocus pocus idea in your head of what it is.

NickNolte · 06-10-2009 8:34pm

This thread descended into drivvel ages ago. 'Birds and flowers', the touchy feely crap that Scanlas has been spouting for pages and this assertion that women have 'special perceptive powers' that men 'just don't get'. It's all nonsense.

The bare bones of the matter are very simple:

A lot of Irish women (and men to be fair) have turned into arrogant, socially aggressive people who are unapproachable and unpleasant to be around. Celtic Tiger syndrome.
Many women will need to be a bit more proactive than 'sending off subtle signals' if they want to meet a decent man. The traditional roles of men have diminished thanks to feminism. That's fine... but women can't just choose the traditional roles that they want men to dump. Women are now just as obliged to do the chatting up these days as men. Whether they like it or not. Either that, or many will remain on the shelf. It'so facto.

DublinWriter · 06-10-2009 10:05pm

Affable wrote: »

I don't know. I'm currently utterly in love with someone. Her face haunts me.

I dunno, only ghosts and overdue tax bills haunt, lots of people confuse love with infatuation and/or lust.

Henry Chinaski · 14-10-2009 6:16pm

Getting back to the original thread, why dont Irish men approach her friends and other such Irish girls?

1. They are not that attractive.
2. The bitchy, bitter friend that thinks you are not good enough for her mate regardless.
3. Fear of rejection.

krystel · 22-10-2009 1:08pm

In this world where women are seeking emancipation through active feminism
and where we’re being told on a daily basis they are about to take over the world, I don’t quite get why your friends didn’t approach any guy in the first place…. I mean, we’re all equals right? Or have I missed something here?
(and I’m a woman before you ask)

Eve_Dublin · 31-10-2009 5:01pm

Hello! Well I live in Spain now and have made a few male friends here. Guess what? They´re constantly complaining about how stuck up and cold the local Spanish women are and how the foreign ladies are an easier pull! First time I heard this I thought of this thread....what a coincidence! Or is it a coincidence? Spanish men here in Madrid go for the foreign ladies because a) we look a bit different and b)we´re here on our holidays or are living here with a holiday mentality i.e. I don´t take my job very seriously, I´ve no mortgage, I´m free to do as I please without the beady eyes of my peers, I think Spanish men are hot, still a novelty and different to what I´m used to and I still haven´t worked out their collective faults (if such things exist)....I´ve yet to have had my heart broken or to be let down by a Spanish men.

Thing is Spanish men have a sense of humour about the situation...so they can´t get any action from the local girls...the local girls won´t even acknowledge them (and these guys are good-looking, sounds fellas) and I´ve seen the knock backs first hand...just icey cold dagger eyes...some of these women won´t even acknowledge them enough to look at them or even verbalise a knock-back. It´s quite impressive....Irish women have a lesson or two to learn from some of these women when it comes to extreme b*tchiness...but the men just laugh and walk away because now they´ve other options and so the men go for the foreign chicks and get lucky everytime because the foreign chicks are here to have fun...I´m here to have fun essentially and not to be judged and I can do that here easily without being lumped in with whatever negative perception some men hold on to about Irish women in Ireland . I´m a foreigner here...a "Guiri" and people don´t really care where I come from...I´m a blonde-haired Northern European and I´m considered easier than the local ladies by default because of the very fact that I´m not from Spain.

Sound familiar? This situation is NOT exclusive to Ireland. Enjoy your weekend....

NickNolte · 31-10-2009 5:44pm

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

Sound familiar? This situation is NOT exclusive to Ireland. Enjoy your weekend....

Yes, me again. Coincidentally I'm engaged to a Spanish woman and spend a good part of my life in Spain (mainly Madrid). You're wrong

Rocky77 · 31-10-2009 7:45pm

Chatting up girls is like speaking with the bereaved - there's never a right thing to say...

irish_bob · 31-10-2009 7:52pm

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

Hello! Well I live in Spain now and have made a few male friends here. Guess what? They´re constantly complaining about how stuck up and cold the local Spanish women are and how the foreign ladies are an easier pull! First time I heard this I thought of this thread....what a coincidence! Or is it a coincidence? Spanish men here in Madrid go for the foreign ladies because a) we look a bit different and b)we´re here on our holidays or are living here with a holiday mentality i.e. I don´t take my job very seriously, I´ve no mortgage, I´m free to do as I please without the beady eyes of my peers, I think Spanish men are hot, still a novelty and different to what I´m used to and I still haven´t worked out their collective faults (if such things exist)....I´ve yet to have had my heart broken or to be let down by a Spanish men.

Thing is Spanish men have a sense of humour about the situation...so they can´t get any action from the local girls...the local girls won´t even acknowledge them (and these guys are good-looking, sounds fellas) and I´ve seen the knock backs first hand...just icey cold dagger eyes...some of these women won´t even acknowledge them enough to look at them or even verbalise a knock-back. It´s quite impressive....Irish women have a lesson or two to learn from some of these women when it comes to extreme b*tchiness...but the men just laugh and walk away because now they´ve other options and so the men go for the foreign chicks and get lucky everytime because the foreign chicks are here to have fun...I´m here to have fun essentially and not to be judged and I can do that here easily without being lumped in with whatever negative perception some men hold on to about Irish women in Ireland . I´m a foreigner here...a "Guiri" and people don´t really care where I come from...I´m a blonde-haired Northern European and I´m considered easier than the local ladies by default because of the very fact that I´m not from Spain.

Sound familiar? This situation is NOT exclusive to Ireland. Enjoy your weekend....

while abroad , most irish women are easy and receptive when it comes to spanish men or foreign men in general , its the novelty and the local men take full advantage

BumbleB · 01-11-2009 2:34pm

NickNolte wrote: »

Yes, me again. Coincidentally I'm engaged to a Spanish woman and spend a good part of my life in Spain (mainly Madrid). You're wrong

Oh no,not Nick and Eve at it again.good for you Eve,

Nice to see your having fun.

Eve_Dublin · 02-11-2009 11:29pm

BumbleB wrote: »

Oh no,not Nick and Eve at it again.good for you Eve,

Nice to see your having fun.

Well I had him on ignore and read his comment from your quotation. I´m wrong apparently! Haha! Rubbish....

Eve_Dublin · 02-11-2009 11:30pm

irish_bob wrote: »

while abroad , most irish women are easy and receptive when it comes to spanish men or foreign men in general , its the novelty and the local men take full advantage

Indeed they do. Fact.

donster79 · 03-11-2009 12:34am

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

Hello! Well I live in Spain now and have made a few male friends here. Guess what? They´re constantly complaining about how stuck up and cold the local Spanish women are and how the foreign ladies are an easier pull! First time I heard this I thought of this thread....what a coincidence! Or is it a coincidence? Spanish men here in Madrid go for the foreign ladies because a) we look a bit different and b)we´re here on our holidays or are living here with a holiday mentality i.e. I don´t take my job very seriously, I´ve no mortgage, I´m free to do as I please without the beady eyes of my peers, I think Spanish men are hot, still a novelty and different to what I´m used to and I still haven´t worked out their collective faults (if such things exist)....I´ve yet to have had my heart broken or to be let down by a Spanish men.

Thing is Spanish men have a sense of humour about the situation...so they can´t get any action from the local girls...the local girls won´t even acknowledge them (and these guys are good-looking, sounds fellas) and I´ve seen the knock backs first hand...just icey cold dagger eyes...some of these women won´t even acknowledge them enough to look at them or even verbalise a knock-back. It´s quite impressive....Irish women have a lesson or two to learn from some of these women when it comes to extreme b*tchiness...but the men just laugh and walk away because now they´ve other options and so the men go for the foreign chicks and get lucky everytime because the foreign chicks are here to have fun...I´m here to have fun essentially and not to be judged and I can do that here easily without being lumped in with whatever negative perception some men hold on to about Irish women in Ireland . I´m a foreigner here...a "Guiri" and people don´t really care where I come from...I´m a blonde-haired Northern European and I´m considered easier than the local ladies by default because of the very fact that I´m not from Spain.

Sound familiar? This situation is NOT exclusive to Ireland. Enjoy your weekend....

Spanish men have a sense of humour!!!!???!!!???!!!!

Permabear · 03-11-2009 12:57am

This post has been deleted.

Why don't men approach women?

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