Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi all! We have been experiencing an issue on site where threads have been missing the latest postings. The platform host Vanilla are working on this issue. A workaround that has been used by some is to navigate back from 1 to 10+ pages to re-sync the thread and this will then show the latest posts. Thanks, Mike.
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

Mental Load

2»

Comments

  • #52
    pwurple
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,449 ✭✭✭✭pwurple


    meeeeh wrote: »
    Why are people so quick to judge relationships they know very little about?

    Every person is so much more than the sum of their household duties, every relationship is full of compromises, disagreements, cooperation and as long as the people in it are happy on the whole (nobody is happy all the time) it's working. There is no point sticking in a relationship that's not working but some perseverance and compromise is needed for a successful relationship.

    I don't think anyone is quick to judge, but if you have an apparent incompatibility.... and the other person isn't even remotely interested in trying to solve it, then what other option is there?


  • #53
    meeeeh
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,624 ✭✭✭✭meeeeh


    pwurple wrote: »
    I don't think anyone is quick to judge, but if you have an apparent incompatibility.... and the other person isn't even remotely interested in trying to solve it, then what other option is there?

    However how do you know you have apparent incompatibility. What suits me probably wouldn't suit you and vice versa. For example when we were building house my husband did the lion share, I do more now. It works for us it might not work for someone else but that doesn't mean our relationship is unhappy one despite me carrying household mental load. My husband carries business mental load. I'm talking about my relationship because that's the only one I know but others might have different arrangements that either work for them or don't. I think it's rude for me telling others that they should leave the relationship just because something wouldn't work for me.

    That doesn't mean we are not entitled to whinge about something here every so often. :D


  • #54
    pwurple
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,449 ✭✭✭✭pwurple


    meeeeh wrote: »
    I think it's rude for me telling others that they should leave the relationship just because something wouldn't work for me.

    I don't answering a very specific question from my own perspective is rude... but I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt, and assume you either missed part of the thread or have misinterpreted the responses with your own background on top.

    This was what I quoted.
    I'd love to know if you've managed to successfully implement these principles.

    In theory I'd totally agree, but whenever I step back and try to leave him to himself, it NEVER results in him taking responsibility or realising he needs to step up. Usually I get one of two results:
    a) He never ends up being bothered by the thing that's not done, so I'm only annoying myself by not doing it for him.
    b) We'll both suffer the negative consequences and he'll recognise it as bad luck, without learning any lesson or changing any of his behaviour in future.


    And my response was that I personally wouldn't put up with it.

    That was also the response of other people, they responded on what they would do.

    I don't see a single person here say "You should end your relationship".

    Maybe you're reading something that isn't written.


  • #55
    meeeeh
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,624 ✭✭✭✭meeeeh


    pwurple wrote: »
    I don't answering a very specific question from my own perspective is rude... but I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt, and assume you either missed part of the thread or have misinterpreted the responses with your own background on top.

    This was what I quoted.



    And my response was that I personally wouldn't put up with it.

    That was also the response of other people, they responded on what they would do.

    I don't see a single person here say "You should end your relationship".

    Maybe you're reading something that isn't written.

    I was actually commenting on the person who said they would just leave the relationship but if you want to see it as a criticism of your post then who am I to argue.

    I don't like it when people need to start justifying their relationship to others online.


  • #56
    pwurple
    Closed Accounts Posts: 12,449 ✭✭✭✭pwurple


    meeeeh wrote: »
    I was actually commenting on the person who said they would just leave the relationship but if you want to see it as a criticism of your post then who am I to argue.


    Yes, a few of us all said we would leave the relationship when asked what we would do in a particular situation. That's very different to telling someone else what they should do, which is what you said.
    I don't like it when people need to start justifying their relationship to others online.
    Agreed.


Advertisement