Dumb/Great Facebook Status [No Names] - Part III

fritzelly · 27-11-2020 8:55pm

Guess who wears the trousers?

chooseusername · 27-11-2020 9:03pm

fritzelly wrote: »

Guess who wears the trousers?

OXO mum?

It wasnt me123 · 27-11-2020 9:48pm

Some people shouldn’t procreate - I fear for the next generation

sligojoek · 29-11-2020 2:41am

fussyonion · 29-11-2020 8:11pm

'The youngone me fella got giggy wit last week i no ho you are and see if u come near me in the shop il brake ur neck wit a sweeping brush ya smelly geeyed goggly eyed trollip im sick n tried of youngones going after (name) and me preg wit bayb anal'

It wasnt me123 · 29-11-2020 9:09pm

Fussyonion you mix in such literary circles

El Weirdo · 29-11-2020 9:28pm

fussyonion wrote: »

... and me preg wit bayb anal'

How does that work?

ohnonotgmail · 29-11-2020 9:29pm

fussyonion wrote: »

'The youngone me fella got giggy wit last week i no ho you are and see if u come near me in the shop il brake ur neck wit a sweeping brush ya smelly geeyed goggly eyed trollip im sick n tried of youngones going after (name) and me preg wit bayb anal'

:eek:

Ted_YNWA · 29-11-2020 10:54pm

fussyonion wrote: »

'The youngone me fella got giggy wit last week i no ho you are and see if u come near me in the shop il brake ur neck wit a sweeping brush ya smelly geeyed goggly eyed trollip im sick n tried of youngones going after (name) and me preg wit bayb anal'

El Weirdo wrote: »

How does that work?

Does it involve the sweeping brush?

tea and coffee · 29-11-2020 11:33pm

Hang on. Her partner,, the father of her unborn child, had sex with someone else and she's pissed off at the woman?!

ohnonotgmail · 29-11-2020 11:37pm

tea and coffee wrote: »

Hang on. Her partner,, the father of her unborn child, had sex with someone else and she's pissed off at the woman?!

Of course. He wouldn't have strayed if the other woman hadn't tempted him. He is only human for giving in to temptation

tea and coffee · 30-11-2020 1:38am

ohnonotgmail wrote: »

Of course. He wouldn't have strayed if the other woman hadn't tempted him. He is only human for giving in to temptation

Ah yes , of course. The poor chap. Sure what was he to do in such circumstances ;-)

thesandeman · 30-11-2020 2:57am

El Weirdo wrote: »

How does that work?

You either have a dirty mind or are a grammar nazi.
It's quite obvious that she just forgot to capitalise the first letter of the name of her forthcoming child.

conor_ie · 30-11-2020 9:16am

AndyBoBandy · 30-11-2020 10:49am

This thread usually turns to gold in December, as the drama in these peoples lives increases exponentially the closer we get to December 25th.

Add in a global pandemic, and it's a recipe for absolute mayhem..

secondrowgal · 30-11-2020 11:59am

fussyonion wrote: »

'The youngone me fella got giggy wit last week i no ho you are and see if u come near me in the shop il brake ur neck wit a sweeping brush ya smelly geeyed goggly eyed trollip im sick n tried of youngones going after (name) and me preg wit bayb anal'

Yay, you're back!!

I missed your pearls of wisdom!

Gun_Slinger · 30-11-2020 5:06pm

conor_ie wrote: »

Anyone else read this in Dr. Nicks voice???

Foweva Awone · 30-11-2020 6:32pm

NOW TO LET THE HOLE OF BALLYMUN NO I DIDNT ROB ANY BIKE AS I WASNT EVEN ÎN SANTRY YESTERDAY ANVEITH NO PROFF KEITH JUMPED OUT OF A CAR AND ATTACKED ME AND LEFT MY FACE LIKE DIS IV BEINVIN THE GARDA STAYSION AND HAVE DEMANDED THE CCTV FROM DEALS AND THeY ONLY CAN DEAL WIth MY ATTACK THE ONLY PERSON WHO CAN GET THE CCTV IS HIM HE HAS TO REPORT IT ROBBED AND THEN THE GARDA can GET THE CCTV TO SEE WHO THE REAL PERSON IS AND THEY WONT EveN DO DAT NO PROFF WHATS SO EVER JUST TAKING SOMEONES WORD THAT I DID IT WELL IM NOt letting THIS GO TILL MY NAME IS CLEARDED DISGRESFULL CĂRRY ON OUT OF HIM WITH ONLY ROMURES IT WAS ME WELL WEN THE REAL PERSON IS CAUGHT I WONT BE TAKING ANY SORRYS OR ANYTHING LIKE IT SHAME ON YOUS ATTACKNG A GIRL WEN I DONE NOTING they HAVE NO PROFF THAT I DID IT GARDA ARE NOW INVOLVED ON MY PART I WILL GET THE REAL THRUTH

as_mo_bhosca · 30-11-2020 7:57pm

Foweva Awone wrote: »

NOW TO LET THE HOLE OF BALLYMUN NO I DIDNT ROB ANY BIKE AS I WASNT EVEN ÎN SANTRY YESTERDAY ANVEITH NO PROFF KEITH JUMPED OUT OF A CAR AND ATTACKED ME AND LEFT MY FACE LIKE DIS IV BEINVIN THE GARDA STAYSION AND HAVE DEMANDED THE CCTV FROM DEALS AND THeY ONLY CAN DEAL WIth MY ATTACK THE ONLY PERSON WHO CAN GET THE CCTV IS HIM HE HAS TO REPORT IT ROBBED AND THEN THE GARDA can GET THE CCTV TO SEE WHO THE REAL PERSON IS AND THEY WONT EveN DO DAT NO PROFF WHATS SO EVER JUST TAKING SOMEONES WORD THAT I DID IT WELL IM NOt letting THIS GO TILL MY NAME IS CLEARDED DISGRESFULL CĂRRY ON OUT OF HIM WITH ONLY ROMURES IT WAS ME WELL WEN THE REAL PERSON IS CAUGHT I WONT BE TAKING ANY SORRYS OR ANYTHING LIKE IT SHAME ON YOUS ATTACKNG A GIRL WEN I DONE NOTING they HAVE NO PROFF THAT I DID IT GARDA ARE NOW INVOLVED ON MY PART I WILL GET THE REAL THRUTH

Yeah, but no, but yeah, but shu' up. Don't be givin' me no evils!

fussyonion · 30-11-2020 10:53pm

'Iv never met anyone as ego testicle as my boss'.

inforfun · 02-12-2020 9:26pm

https://twitter.com/JaneyGodley/status/1334131256506920961

Foweva Awone · 02-12-2020 11:18pm

Can ye say a pray for my husband cooler and his cuz tom that there court goes well tomorrow and they get no jail help of God xx

Demonique · 03-12-2020 3:44am

"Do all the adults who've managed to get a PS5 for themselves not feel bad that it probably means a child won't be able to open one on Christmas Day? You're pretty much snatching it straight from Santa's sack."

fritzelly · 03-12-2020 4:01am

Demonique wrote: »

"Do all the adults who've managed to get a PS5 for themselves not feel bad that it probably means a child won't be able to open one on Christmas Day? You're pretty much snatching it straight from Santa's sack."

LMAO - they sure as hell wouldn't feel any regret if they got it first

ohnonotgmail · 03-12-2020 9:53am

Foweva Awone wrote: »

Can ye say a pray for my husband cooler and his cuz tom that there court goes well tomorrow and they get no jail help of God xx

is cooler the name of her husband?

Foweva Awone · 03-12-2020 9:57am

ohnonotgmail wrote: »

is cooler the name of her husband?

Her Facebook name is "Coolers Bridget*", so yes I think so.

*Or something similar

ohnonotgmail · 03-12-2020 9:59am

Foweva Awone wrote: »

Her Facebook name is "Coolers Bridget*", so yes I think so.

*Or something similar

sweet suffering divine jesus

BattleCorp · 03-12-2020 10:41am

ohnonotgmail wrote: »

sweet suffering divine jesus

Because an awful lot of them have the same surname, there's no other way travellers can tell who's who without nicknames.

eg. Big Joe's Joe, Cowboy's Michael, Hotdog Tom, Paddy's Bridget's Mary etc.

Mollyb60 · 03-12-2020 10:56am

In fairness, there's an awful lot of stupid nicknames in my hometown too. Speedy, Hoppy, Flea (pronounced flay), Spuddy, Bubbles, Fester, Bus.....the list is endless. So Coolers isn't actually the worst I've heard.

Foweva Awone · 05-12-2020 9:18pm

When a tramp of a child calls you gay don’t worry doll your father offered to snort bags of coke off my diddys doll with his cocktail sausage

fritzelly · 05-12-2020 9:37pm

The imagery that conjures up

Foweva Awone · 05-12-2020 10:43pm

Foweva Awone wrote: »

Why do people put this crap on Facebook!

"Look at Our Princess Shane, she Had a good weekend wit my family bless her... See Yu in a Bit Shane we go Mc Donnalds nd watch few Movies n D Match and haters we goin make a go of it i know i ****ed up when i left u for ur 2nd cousin but u shagged my best friend & worst enemy and we were 2gethr 7 years i defo broke a mirror but ****it me n ur cousin only lasted 4 years and i dont care if im giving ppl d full of der mouths whats meant t be will be"

God love her though, she's got quite a few tattoos with the other fellas name on her, that's gotta be awkward!

All deleted now, because she's back with the second cousin. That didn't last long!!!

ohnonotgmail · 05-12-2020 11:36pm

Foweva Awone wrote: »

All deleted now, because she's back with the second cousin. That didn't last long!!!

any chance of a translation of this?

i dont care if im giving ppl d full of der mouths

It wasnt me123 · 06-12-2020 12:57am

fritzelly wrote: »

The imagery that conjures up

I was also trying to work out what she was describing - with his cocktail sausage

Quazzie · 06-12-2020 11:05am

ohnonotgmail wrote: »

any chance of a translation of this?

She's giving people something to talk about?

Signore Fancy Pants · 06-12-2020 11:32am

Jesus this thread is gold.

What type of world are these fcuktards living in.

BattleCorp · 06-12-2020 4:28pm

Signore Fancy Pants wrote: »

Jesus this thread is gold.

What type of world are these fcuktards living in.

Social welfare land under the protection of Pavee Point I'd imagine.

Foweva Awone · 06-12-2020 5:15pm

Anybody doing make up an hair I need an appointment asap for Saturday morning for Amara commotion pls xx

conor_ie · 06-12-2020 6:35pm

Foweva Awone wrote: »

Anybody doing make up an hair I need an appointment asap for Saturday morning for Amara commotion pls xx

Must have been some commotion! :P

Mollyb60 · 07-12-2020 10:29am

Whats an Amara commotion?

Princess Calla · 07-12-2020 10:44am

Mollyb60 wrote: »

Whats an Amara commotion?

I presume amara is daughter's name. Commotion is communion.

Communions are happening at the last minute, with very little notice....my friend got a weeks notice... coming up this close to Christmas is just ridiculous, but that's another thread

coolhull · 10-12-2020 6:05pm

"Van for sale 06 going 1000 percent needs ingerter out its stuck needs cum out new one der to go in to it ready for test other Dan dat quick sale $$$"

From one of our brethren in the, ahem, 'unsettled' community.

Foweva Awone · 10-12-2020 10:43pm

It's rare I come across one even I can't translate ...

#LISTOWEL Fair 2020 My #LOVELy Dada gbh ur. Old #HABBITS Die Hard A veryyy #HEALTHYHAPPy Man dz moring gbh off ztOf to Thr Fair
#PASSAWSYTHEDSYMYMARY
#DONTLIKEBEGININDOORS gbh He isn't half #DELIGHYRDbWith Himself gbh #YOUEOULDGOMADINTHESELONESUMHOUSE
#ENJOYPGXBRUNO
72 YEARS OF AGE AND AS #FRESH
AS A #DAISY
Tg x bruno gbh

fritzelly · 10-12-2020 10:58pm

Utter gibberish - did they just throw the scrabble tiles in the air and write how they landed?

as_mo_bhosca · 10-12-2020 11:52pm

Foweva Awone wrote: »

It's rare I come across one even I can't translate ...

#LISTOWEL Fair 2020 My #LOVELy Dada gbh ur. Old #HABBITS Die Hard A veryyy #HEALTHYHAPPy Man dz moring gbh off ztOf to Thr Fair
#PASSAWSYTHEDSYMYMARY
#DONTLIKEBEGININDOORS gbh He isn't half #DELIGHYRDbWith Himself gbh #YOUEOULDGOMADINTHESELONESUMHOUSE
#ENJOYPGXBRUNO
72 YEARS OF AGE AND AS #FRESH
AS A #DAISY
Tg x bruno gbh

Listowel fair 2020. My lovely dad, good bless him. Your old habits die hard. A very healthy and happy man this morning, god bless him, of to the fair.
Pass away the day.. Something something
Doesn't like being indoors, god bless him. He isn't half delighted with himself, god bless him.
You'd go mad in the lonesome house. Enjoy??? Bruno. 72 years of age and as fresh as a daisy, thank god. X Bruno, god bless him.

SineadSpears · 11-12-2020 12:18am

as_mo_bhosca wrote: »

Listowel fair 2020. My lovely dad, good bless him. Your old habits die hard. A very healthy and happy man this morning, god bless him, of to the fair.
Pass away the day.. Something something
Doesn't like being indoors, god bless him. He isn't half delighted with himself, god bless him.
You'd go mad in the lonesome house. Enjoy??? Bruno. 72 years of age and as fresh as a daisy, thank god. X Bruno, god bless him.

Everyone say hello to the owner of that FB post

SineadSpears · 11-12-2020 12:19am

Foweva Awone wrote: »

It's rare I come across one even I can't translate ...

#LISTOWEL Fair 2020 My #LOVELy Dada gbh ur. Old #HABBITS Die Hard A veryyy #HEALTHYHAPPy Man dz moring gbh off ztOf to Thr Fair
#PASSAWSYTHEDSYMYMARY
#DONTLIKEBEGININDOORS gbh He isn't half #DELIGHYRDbWith Himself gbh #YOUEOULDGOMADINTHESELONESUMHOUSE
#ENJOYPGXBRUNO
72 YEARS OF AGE AND AS #FRESH
AS A #DAISY
Tg x bruno gbh

That actually hurt my eyes

Princess Calla · 11-12-2020 12:27am

Well I was reading gbh as grievous bodily harm.

God bless him, puts a totally different slant on it

Foweva Awone · 19-12-2020 12:42am

Tired tA cook sum noodles in the Michael wave but frogrot ta add the gide damn water

fritzelly · 19-12-2020 12:44am

I can actually interpret that

Dumb/Great Facebook Status [No Names] - Part III

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