Dumb/Great Facebook Status [No Names] - Part III

I Am Nobody

Foweva Awone wrote: »

A child who was born with a message from God
In the audio record I can't send you it says this child was born with both hands glued when the doctor managed to take off his hands he started talking
He said Jesus was coming back soon and He started giving signs of the coming of Christ who will come to take those who believed
And told everyone to pass this messages to everyone in the world, because there is no more time, tomorrow maybe too late,
Then the child died.
A few moments after a man received this message and immediately sent out copies, his business was successful, he started getting more customers than before,
Another man got the message and called it junk mail, 8 days later he died of an unexplainable disease. This message therefore encourages repentance because the time is near, it is therefore time to return on the right path so that we may be among the saved.now you have two options, either you
share it to 5 different Facebook groups so you can be spared, or ignore it like nothing happened, I pray God help us get back on the right path and grant all our heart desires in the Lord’s name. Just now.

For some reason that reminded me of an acid trip I had in 1979.

Foweva Awone

Wedding is off girls. People must think I'm a fool for them or something, I'm a fool for no one. 3 hours texting him back and forth and all going normal, then he goes blank for 30 minutes. Then messages me back after the 30 minutes to say his phone died acting like nothing is wrong. Like I'm so PSYCHOOOOO or something.

SICK OF THE LIEEEEEESSSSS. I know for a full fact you were on a whatsapp call with another walk the road TRAMMMMPP. How did your phone die? I told you an hour beforehand that you shpuld plug in your cable and that way we could talk all night. So you probably wanted it to die. We only talked for 3 hours today and yesterday was only 5 hours, but even then you went missing for an hour in between. Who even are you anymore? It's like we're strangers with the way you're carrying on and me knowing you for a full 3 and a half days.

Don't come to me with your dry chat either calling me sweet banana, even though I am a sweet banana, just coz you're a cheater doesn't mean you were wrong about that part. Oh and also, you can call my mommy now because she knows all about you now, Dirty dickie. Couldn't keep it in your pants for another few weeks till we got married? No, why would ya. That it may fall off ya with the rot now.

Send me your passwords if you want to prove to me that you're not cheating on me. Nahhh, you won't do that coz you've too much to hide.Oh and also, it's spelled BEAUTIFUL, not PSYCHO WOMAN. read a book. Hate you.

fritzelly

Well rid of her!

kildare lad

Foweva Awone wrote: »

Wedding is off girls. People must think I'm a fool for them or something, I'm a fool for no one. 3 hours texting him back and forth and all going normal, then he goes blank for 30 minutes. Then messages me back after the 30 minutes to say his phone died acting like nothing is wrong. Like I'm so PSYCHOOOOO or something.

SICK OF THE LIEEEEEESSSSS. I know for a full fact you were on a whatsapp call with another walk the road TRAMMMMPP. How did your phone die? I told you an hour beforehand that you shpuld plug in your cable and that way we could talk all night. So you probably wanted it to die. We only talked for 3 hours today and yesterday was only 5 hours, but even then you went missing for an hour in between. Who even are you anymore? It's like we're strangers with the way you're carrying on and me knowing you for a full 3 and a half days.

Don't come to me with your dry chat either calling me sweet banana, even though I am a sweet banana, just coz you're a cheater doesn't mean you were wrong about that part. Oh and also, you can call my mommy now because she knows all about you now, Dirty dickie. Couldn't keep it in your pants for another few weeks till we got married? No, why would ya. That it may fall off ya with the rot now.

Send me your passwords if you want to prove to me that you're not cheating on me. Nahhh, you won't do that coz you've too much to hide.Oh and also, it's spelled BEAUTIFUL, not PSYCHO WOMAN. read a book. Hate you.

He dodged a bullet there

tea and coffee

Hang on. They were only together 3and a half days and were getting married??

Gremlinertia

That's a comedy account on fb, part of an ongoing fictional story, they were busking for the cost of the 'wedding' the other day

Foweva Awone

Gremlinertia wrote: »

That's a comedy account on fb, part of an ongoing fictional story, they were busking for the cost of the 'wedding' the other day

Oh God I genuinely thought it was legit!! My bad!!

Lady Haywire

Foweva Awone wrote: »

Oh God I genuinely thought it was legit!! My bad!!

To be fair, you previous posts were shockingly similar so it was very believable! Sad times when a parody account is so close to reality.

Gremlinertia

Foweva Awone wrote: »

Oh God I genuinely thought it was legit!! My bad!!

Honestly, I only pointed it out because this has now become believable and I thought it was worth noticing how far it's all gone.. Madness!

drake70

Gremlinertia wrote: »

That's a comedy account on fb, part of an ongoing fictional story, they were busking for the cost of the 'wedding' the other day

Seeing as it's a parody can it be shared? Would love to check it out.

Thepillowman

Gremlinertia wrote: »

That's a comedy account on fb, part of an ongoing fictional story, they were busking for the cost of the 'wedding' the other day

Puts a whole new meaning to plugging In your cable though.

SusieBlue

I hate when people such as adults swear around new born kids and and also kids that are 3 years of age but i think it is not fair on them they will pick it up as they grow up thats the way life is now these day with stuff on facebook

Foweva Awone

"Another Clear Ou On Tha By Tha Ways Friends List Guys / Gals
Aint Be Anything Bu Myself
So If Ya Still On My Page
Consider Yhurself Priveledge"

I am Priveledge!!! Lucky me!!!

fritzelly

Foweva Awone wrote: »

"Another Clear Ou On Tha By Tha Ways Friends List Guys / Gals
Aint Be Anything Bu Myself
So If Ya Still On My Page
Consider Yhurself Priveledge"

I am Priveledge!!! Lucky me!!!

Infinite monkey theorem

Foweva Awone

"I’m not one for Facebook but I’m sick yous creatures of things! *man's name* you half Mann of a thing ya actually you are a fukin man dressed as a women ffs . Don’t know what u are ya dirty scabies scabby hole ‘ on my page txtnn people’ tryna get me fighting with everyone god u need serious help ya sick dog you can talk about no one you dirt !!! Now I’m sick to death of all you fools tryna make me look bad and then when it’s put up to use are automatically disabled . ffs I’ve let use bastards cause trouble for me an my family for months yas are evil . If ya didn’t yee ya think butter wouldn’t melt poisin! The lot yee!! well not no fuk in more. Gowan now to your sugar daddy there’s a pic ther for u hope u get your lip fillers and your iPhone ya common yoke ya need more than lip fillers. and tbh fuk who ever has something to say say to me not over a screen . Enough is a fuk in enough’ pack fukin gomeys"

And then her own mother replies,

"The state of it scabie hole the call junkies dirt to look at you and ur crooked nose the dying one with the narrow back Yee look like yer on drugs ya dying 6stone weight , who the **** u tink u are hahahaha ya yoke ya you no we're we live ya yolk saying u wudnt spend 80 Euro dwn lol it only 20 you dosser that's for ur weed and tabs so keep that yeah ,, as I said less on the phone call to me plssss I beg ya you boney bastard That's if ur not dead by *girls name* lol great video she has up u calling her junkie,, you smelly big nosed tramp who taken ppl in of the streets for ur weed nd tabs don't u ever tink that you I'm afraid of you and guarantee my daughter not either so less **** on FB trying the make urself big 6stone lol and come dwn u yoke u weren't long taken **** dwn wen a cuzin of mine told ya you dying yolk , swear cant wait to see you"

Foweva Awone

Copied from another status

FOR ALL THE CARING PARENTS OUT THERE WHOS KIDS MAYBE GOING BACK IN SEPTEMBER...
YOUS NEED TO READ THIS.

Headteacher: sorry we have had to take your child to a testing centre as they were showing symptoms of corona (that means they could have a cold, a temperature, a cough)

Parent: right so where is my child

HT: I'm sorry I cant disclose that information

P: is my child ok?

HT: I can assure you your child is in safe hands in the mean time you need to self isolate with your family for 14 days

P: No I'm coming to get my child now

HT: I'm sorry but if you arrive at the school we will have no choice but to call the police and have you removed from the premises

P: is this a joke? that is my child

HT: I'm sorry but under the new covid act we have the power to remove your child without your consent if we feel the have symptoms.

P: So when will I see my child next

HT: We will have a child service officer contact you.

Now imagine this was a call from your Childs Headteacher

I suggest every parent on my facebook gets off there arse and does some real research on the legislation of the covid act 2020 regarding the laws for children in school!!!!
They are stripping your rights as a parent.
AND NO this is not a conspiracy theory this on the GOV website. Your rights gone!!!
Wakeup, standup!!!!

#wakeup

I've seen the new legislation which were rushed through parliament while everyone was enjoying lockdown....

optogirl

Foweva Awone wrote: »

Copied from another status

FOR ALL THE CARING PARENTS OUT THERE WHOS KIDS MAYBE GOING BACK IN SEPTEMBER...
YOUS NEED TO READ THIS.

Headteacher: sorry we have had to take your child to a testing centre as they were showing symptoms of corona (that means they could have a cold, a temperature, a cough)

Parent: right so where is my child

HT: I'm sorry I cant disclose that information

P: is my child ok?

HT: I can assure you your child is in safe hands in the mean time you need to self isolate with your family for 14 days

P: No I'm coming to get my child now

HT: I'm sorry but if you arrive at the school we will have no choice but to call the police and have you removed from the premises

P: is this a joke? that is my child

HT: I'm sorry but under the new covid act we have the power to remove your child without your consent if we feel the have symptoms.

P: So when will I see my child next

HT: We will have a child service officer contact you.

Now imagine this was a call from your Childs Headteacher

I suggest every parent on my facebook gets off there arse and does some real research on the legislation of the covid act 2020 regarding the laws for children in school!!!!
They are stripping your rights as a parent.
AND NO this is not a conspiracy theory this on the GOV website. Your rights gone!!!
Wakeup, standup!!!!

#wakeup

I've seen the new legislation which were rushed through parliament while everyone was enjoying lockdown....

Scarlet for anyone sharing this

Ted_YNWA

Probably better off removing kids from parents that are this gullible.

coolhull

With picture of lighted candle :


"Dear God, please put an end to the Corona virus"


Well, let's face it, we've tried everything else

Colonel Claptrap

Taking 2 strokes ur slagging me off wrinkles calling me scruffy cnut getting old don't no wot I went true ur slagging me goofy owl 1 getting old ur joke getting laughin at owl1 ur getting old wrinkles

Foweva Awone

"Looking for a tattoo artist with avaibility next week or the following for 2 possibly a third , i want one the rights good too"

One that "rights good" the irony!!

SusieBlue

Not really anyone has a care when making love and eloping having a child they don't care about, the healthcare staff who work tirelessly and under paid there is no room and they can cope but with numbers up again they can't cope with trying to juggle Everything.

it makes me pissed off, close yer legs wait until next year those who had kids last year and this year should wait until next year what's the rush we ain't going to die yet?

leave yer other kids grow up a bit and give our healthcare staff a break they are up the walls and run off their feet.

it's selfish of people to do this in a pandemic im not saying don't having kids but could ye all give it a rest and break but a sock on it until things get a bit better I can see a lot of home births happening cause they won't have room hospitals we've been told a few times please see doctor or south doc or get an ambulance out before going hospital

fritzelly

But the child benefit...

SusieBlue

fritzelly wrote: »

But the child benefit...

Someone is trying to explain to her that covid patients aren’t on maternity wards so it’s no extra work for midwives if women are in Irish hospitals having babies, but it’s just not being understood

Foweva Awone

You conspiracy theorists need to go and get a proper hobby for yourselves instead of sitting on your holes all day sharing ****e to Facebook. Protesting against wearing a piece of cloth on your face. Would ya ever stop. Most of yas should have been wearing a mask before the pandemic. Face like a stepped-on rissole. Mary doesn't know how to restart her router or login to the Facebook account that she got locked out of last year but she still thinks she has the right to lecture everyone about the dangers of 5G technology. You have lads who failed pass maths quoting R0 numbers and mortality rates. Telling us all to "wake up" and calling everyone "sheep". Grab a hold of yourself now Aidan. It used to take you 10 minutes to read a paragraph out loud in class. I am in my ****ing hole listening to you over the experts. If I gave you a multiplication sum to do you'd end up in Wexford A&E with a panic attack.

chooseusername

In fairness, there's a lot of sense in that.

Polar101

"Perhaps

Just cautious?

There r too many hoaxtrs..
just hlp chldrn nothers fir
instance..selectv..those who won't drain
resrcs n not pose danger to the communiry"

optogirl

Polar101 wrote: »

"Perhaps

Just cautious?

There r too many hoaxtrs..
just hlp chldrn nothers fir
instance..selectv..those who won't drain
resrcs n not pose danger to the communiry"

Come again?

BattleCorp

Polar101 wrote: »

"Perhaps

Just cautious?

There r too many hoaxtrs..
just hlp chldrn nothers fir
instance..selectv..those who won't drain
resrcs n not pose danger to the communiry"

Someone typed the above mid-stroke?

Deebles McBeebles

Foweva Awone wrote: »

You conspiracy theorists need to go and get a proper hobby for yourselves instead of sitting on your holes all day sharing ****e to Facebook. Protesting against wearing a piece of cloth on your face. Would ya ever stop. Most of yas should have been wearing a mask before the pandemic. Face like a stepped-on rissole. Mary doesn't know how to restart her router or login to the Facebook account that she got locked out of last year but she still thinks she has the right to lecture everyone about the dangers of 5G technology. You have lads who failed pass maths quoting R0 numbers and mortality rates. Telling us all to "wake up" and calling everyone "sheep". Grab a hold of yourself now Aidan. It used to take you 10 minutes to read a paragraph out loud in class. I am in my ****ing hole listening to you over the experts. If I gave you a multiplication sum to do you'd end up in Wexford A&E with a panic attack.

That's one of the best things I've read on this thread. One of the few that's not on the dumb side of the scale.