Honestly...Do you ever feel like you will be alone forever?

thee glitz · 13-10-2012 11:56am

It's shyte being single. We're the lowest of the low, the sociopaths of the fcukin earth.
I don't hate couples, they're just presuming cnuts. We on the other hand are looked down on by presumptuous cnuts.
It's a shyte state of affairs and all the alone time in the world won't make any fcukin difference.

af_thefragile · 13-10-2012 12:00pm

Well it seems like everyone in my college and everyone I know is in some sorta relationship except for me...
Doesn't bother me too much right now as I'm more concerned about passing my final year and getting a job.
Maybe after I get a job, it'll hit me harder how foreveralone I am and then maybe I can sit in my dark room in front of my computer monitor and gently weep...

ejmaztec · 13-10-2012 12:29pm

thee glitz wrote: »

It's shyte being single. We're the lowest of the low, the sociopaths of the fcukin earth.
I don't hate couples, they're just presuming cnuts. We on the other hand are looked down on by presumptuous cnuts.
It's a shyte state of affairs and all the alone time in the world won't make any fcukin difference.

I think sociopaths might be alone, but only in solitary confinement once they've been caught, except for the occasional visits from the shrinks who try and find out where the dismembered corpses are buried.

thee glitz · 13-10-2012 12:34pm

ejmaztec wrote: »

I think sociopaths might be alone, but only in solitary confinement once they've been caught, except for the occasional visits from the shrinks who try and find out where the dismembered corpses are buried.

I meant outcasts. Probably.

jugger0 · 13-10-2012 12:35pm

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OXlZ6edCHqI

ejmaztec · 13-10-2012 12:37pm

thee glitz wrote: »

I meant outcasts. Probably.

I hope so.:eek:

Furious_George · 13-10-2012 12:40pm

ThomasFlynn wrote: »

*waits for ThomasFlynn to post*

Oh here he is!

OP, I'm 26 and have never had girlfriend, never kissed a girl or anything. I think I beat you on the loser stakes! :pac:

On a serious note the situation had caused me to feel extremely depressed, and I attempted suicide over it back in april because I felt I would always be lonely, felt the world would always shun me, felt I was an utterly useless human being. Bare in mind also I haven't had any friends since I was 13, so naturally thats f*cked up my social development a little which I'm only trying to now recover!

The loneliness factor hurt me so much though, and felt I was too disgusting as a person to have friends and didn't want to live myself in misery for the rest of it so thats I wanted to kill myself. Since then though I've had a counselling and now proper CBT therapy (along with anti depressants) to help restructure my thought process, not only to stop me from committing suicide, but my thought processes on how the world viewed me.

I didn't want to die, but I didn't think I had a choice, so recently in the past 6 weeks I've become more positive and have begun to focus on the small things to improve my self esteem. Like, learning to cook, cleaning, learning to iron, driving lessons, going to the gym, eating healthier, getting a day structure and taking up some hobbies as well to improve my self worth.

Still to this day OP I don't know whether I'll be on my own for the rest of my life or not. I'm 26 now and there are some very embarresing issues which I'm ashamed of obviously and feel it may be too off putting for most women. I really have no idea tbh. I really don't.

All I can do is improve my self worth and improve my social activities. If that doesn't work, then so be it, I don't want to kill myself over it anymore.

Sorry for the rather serious post OP, but its a topic I've tortured myself about for the past 6 months or so as some here may well know. But I'm trying to move on and attempting to build a more happier and forfulling life and seeing where that takes me. Its all you can do as OP, do put yourself in the situations, but don't get stressed over it if it doesn't happen, there's other things in life to enjoy.

I just want to say thanks for sharing and well done on what you have done for yourself in the last number of months. You are an inspiration to others and by sharing your experience you are most definitely helping others who may not know where to turn or cant see a way out of the hole they are in. You are proof to them that there is a way out. Keep it up and thanks again

thee glitz · 13-10-2012 12:45pm

ejmaztec wrote: »

I hope so.:eek:

I do for now :eek:

cometogether · 13-10-2012 12:47pm

AH is such a cheerful place

thee glitz · 13-10-2012 1:06pm

I was just saying is all...

I'm sure I'll change my tune when I meet a suitable mrs glitz. I'll be all like
'Owww look at me AH, Now I’m really happy! I’m the magical man, from Happy Land,
who lives in a gumdrop house on Lolly Pop Lane'.

Wanderer2010 · 13-10-2012 1:14pm

Yes I do feel like that at times, Im in my thirties and still single and society seems completely set up for couples- hotel rooms are cheaper, pubs are full of couples, social occassions revolve around couples meeting up etc and it can feel like you are a bit of a freak when you are alone but that said, there are lots of people in the same boat and the singles do have plenty of chances to get out there and mix without feeling the pressure to get a partner- singles only holidays, evening courses, various clubs and nothing better than a solo holiday you never know who you are going to meet. Its up to you to decide if you are happy being single and to go out and enjoy the above activities or if you would prefer a partner and to go out and try and find a common bond with the opposite sex.

Madam_X · 13-10-2012 1:14pm

thee glitz wrote: »

It's shyte being single. We're the lowest of the low, the sociopaths of the fcukin earth.
I don't hate couples, they're just presuming cnuts. We on the other hand are looked down on by presumptuous cnuts.
It's a shyte state of affairs and all the alone time in the world won't make any fcukin difference.

I've never felt that way when single. Although being single and unhappy in oneself must suck. But I do think a lot of the inadequacies some single people can feel are self-imposed/imagined/too built up.
There are things you miss all right when single - e.g. Christmas is hard in some respects if you're used to being in a relationship for it, but there are very appealing aspects to being single too if you're an independent person.

corktina · 13-10-2012 1:27pm

there's a difference between being alone and being lonely.
You can be lonely in a crowd .

You wont be alone forever, there is someone for everyone, just interact with that crowd as much as possible and it will happen for you.

The years 16 to 25 ish are horrible I reckon...you don't know what or who you are properly.

1ZRed · 13-10-2012 1:27pm

thee glitz wrote: »

I was just saying is all...

I'm sure I'll change my tune when I meet a suitable mrs glitz. I'll be all like
'Owww look at me AH, Now I’m really happy! I’m the magical man, from Happy Land,
who lives in a gumdrop house on Lolly Pop Lane'.

Btw, you're being sarcastic

thee glitz · 13-10-2012 1:36pm

Madam_X wrote: »

I've never felt that way when single. Although being single and unhappy in oneself must suck. But I do think a lot of the inadequacies some single people can feel are self-imposed/imagined/too built up.
There are things you miss all right when single - e.g. Christmas is hard in some respects if you're used to being in a relationship for it, but there are very appealing aspects to being single too if you're an independent person.

In case you missed the reference - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=29-LRuuqFT0

As Wanderer2010 says, a lot of things are couples oriented and there are a lot of economies to be made from being
in a relationship. These reinforce ideas that society expects you to couple up, ideas that others are feeling this
pressure too yet you still haven't made an impression on someone enough that they'd want to give it a shot with you.
Not that I haven't been in relationships and had great experiences during them. Not that it's better to be seeing
someone for the sake of it, but sometimes it would be nice to have someone there you liked and trusted to share life's eh... ups and downs.

1ZRed · 13-10-2012 1:51pm

corktina wrote: »

there's a difference between being alone and being lonely.
You can be lonely in a crowd .

You wont be alone forever, there is someone for everyone, just interact with that crowd as much as possible and it will happen for you.

The years 16 to 25 ish are horrible I reckon...you don't know what or who you are properly.

There's not just one person for everyone, there are tens of thousands that could be so well compatible with you. I don't believe in soul mates at all but I believe there are thousands that could be very well suited to you. You just carry on until you find someone like that.

Tbh the fear of being alone forever doesn't bother me. If you still have good friends and family behind you, you're doing damn well in my eyes.

Eve_Dublin · 13-10-2012 2:05pm

Happiness really should be what you're focusing on. Don't presume those in relationships are happy out of it. That's often not the case as we all know (and probably all too well). I find even in a relationship, that my happiness is down to me as individual. If I depended on himself to keep me afloat, I'd be a nervous wreak. I do many things on my own and for myself and always have. I know this man loves me and I love him but I still feel lonely sometimes and I still have my down periods and I still dread work on Sundays, still get bored sometimes, still have problems paying the bills sometimes, still wished I'd more going on in my life etc. Having another person only fills the void to a degree. The rest is up to you. The idea that it's all sunshine and lollipops all the time is a fallacy. Your own happiness is down to you.

shopaholic01 · 13-10-2012 2:20pm

corktina wrote: »

there's a difference between being alone and being lonely.
You can be lonely in a crowd .

You wont be alone forever, there is someone for everyone, just interact with that crowd as much as possible and it will happen for you.

The years 16 to 25 ish are horrible I reckon...you don't know what or who you are properly.

Ironically the years when you probably look your best and agonise about 'fitting in' and worry more about others opinion of you, than your own.

BTW, you can be incredibly lonely in an unhappy/unhealthy relationship too - more so than being single.

1ZRed wrote: »

There's not just one person for everyone, there are tens of thousands that could be so well compatible with you. I don't believe in soul mates at all but I believe there are thousands that could be very well suited to you. You just carry on until you find someone like that.

Tbh the fear of being alone forever doesn't bother me. If you still have good friends and family behind you, you're doing damn well in my eyes.

So true, Redzer! I've had five 'the ones' to date.

Eve_Dublin wrote: »

Happiness really should be what you're focusing on. Don't presume those in relationships are happy out of it. That's often not the case as we all know (and probably all too well). I find even in a relationship, that my happiness is down to me as individual. If I depended on himself to keep me afloat, I'd be a nervous wreak. I do many things on my own and for myself and always have. I know this man loves me and I love him but I still feel lonely sometimes and I still have my down periods and I still dread work on Sundays, still get bored sometimes, still have problems paying the bills sometimes, still wished I'd more going on in my life etc. Having another person only fills the void to a degree. The rest is up to you. The idea that it's all sunshine and lollipops all the time is a fallacy. Your own happiness is down to you.

You said it better than I could have. It's sad that so many people feel somehow odd or different, and think that a relationship is the answer. It's probably why so many people stay in unhappy relationships.

mud · 13-10-2012 2:49pm

"Alone forever" in that I won't have a partner? Maybe, dunno. Will always have friends and family though.

I went back to college in my late twenties and will hopefully graduate next May. Have had very little time to myself so clearly a partner would have to be able to slip into whatever crevices of time there are available, which aren't many so I know that the chances of that happening are slim right now.

Being single forever has a lot of good things going for it. Things that I'm used to now so getting into a relationship would require a lot of thought as the single life suits me down to the ground.

Abi · 13-10-2012 3:25pm

You can be lonely within a relationship. I was in my marriage. I met him quite young, he was controlling, manipulative, to name a couple of characteristics. It took me a while to realise what a horrible bastard he really was.

To whoever said 'they'll be all divorced by 30' - for some, perhaps. Sometimes it takes that long to realise what a person is really like. I'll hopefully be divorced within the next year or so, but it's not a negative thing in my view. If I didn't break up with him I wouldn't have met my partner. (reach for your sick bags now) he is amazing in every way, and I feel very lucky to have met him. I've never been this happy before, and we're together nearly two and a half years. We get stronger and closer every day.

OP, I understand where you are coming from, but stay positive. It's true when they say it happens when you least expect it

UCDVet · 13-10-2012 5:04pm

Nah - I'm married.

GoldenLight · 13-10-2012 5:45pm

OP, I do and I'm ok with it, if someone wants to share it I'm ok with that to, after all it's my life, and whoever chooses to spend their life with me, and I probably will love them for it

Mr. CooL ICE · 13-10-2012 6:13pm

27 and in a drought of biblical proportions here.

I've had plenty of times where I've been glad I'm single, and other times where I've been miserable and wondered what's wrong with me. I took a step back and wondered what it is that makes me miserable, and realised it's mainly down to friends/family asking why I don't have/get a girlfriend (sure, let me go down to Tesco and buy one...). Any time I've actively pursued a relationship, I've been let down which doesn't feel good. However, I genuinely never feel lonely, but am made to think I have my priorities wrong because I'm not in a relationship. I have more hobbies than anything else so maybe that keeps my mind healthy.

I'm healthy, fit, active and not grotesquely ugly. If I end up in a relationship tomorrow, so be it, but I really don't see it as the be all and end all. As someone said before, actively trying to get with someone for the sake of it can make you feel like you will be alone forever.

breakfasttime · 13-10-2012 6:46pm

cherryghost wrote: »

Don't you mean Forever Alone?

I read it as forever alone in the OP. Damn internets.

akura · 15-10-2012 1:42am

Roses are red.

I have a phone.

Nobody texts me.

Forever alone.

previous user · 15-10-2012 3:20am

corktina wrote: »

You wont be alone forever, there is someone for everyone, just interact with that crowd as much as possible and it will happen for you.

thats bull.

Grayson · 15-10-2012 9:43pm

corktina wrote: »

You wont be alone forever, there is someone for everyone, just interact with that crowd as much as possible and it will happen for you.

And true beauty is on the inside.

PingO_O · 15-10-2012 9:53pm

I was on the "being single is ****" side until I read this thread. You people are so wise!!

Internet Hero · 15-10-2012 9:55pm

previous user wrote: »

thats bull.

its not

everyone has a soulmate

PingO_O · 15-10-2012 10:04pm

Internet Hero wrote: »

its not

everyone has a soulmate

soulmates

msg11 · 15-10-2012 10:05pm

So on the subject where have people first met there partners? I think 2 of mine have been threw a friend and another 2 random chat ups on the internet. I really cannot hold up chatting someone up in a nightclub and in fact my problem wouldn't be talking to a girl but more so what the hell to talk about?

But I am single now and there's one girl I text who I met online, but I don't know if I am over the last girl. Sad thing is that was in Feb and was only two months and I broke up with her ? I just want to try not forcing or looking for a relationship just for it too sort of fall into place , I think would be better as it would have more meaning.

Internet Hero · 15-10-2012 10:05pm

PingO_O wrote: »

soulmates

No

1ZRed · 15-10-2012 10:10pm

Internet Hero wrote: »

its not

everyone has a soulmate

And how convenient it is that in a world full of 7 billion people they mostly seem to find them in their own country.

There's no one person for anyone. There are hundreds of thousands of people you could be very, very well compatible with.

EdenHazard · 15-10-2012 10:10pm

however ugly i am now the reality that this is the best looking I'll ever be yet i can't find somebody is starting to hit home

girls just don't warm to me for whatever reason!

Internet Hero · 15-10-2012 10:11pm

1ZRed wrote: »

And how convenient it is that in a world full of 7 billion people they mostly seem to find them in their own country.

There's no one person for anyone. There are hundreds of thousands of people you could be very, very well compatible with.

no its just one for true love. you can like others but only one is true.

true love

shopaholic01 · 15-10-2012 10:13pm

EdenHazard wrote: »

however ugly i am now the reality that this is the best looking I'll ever be yet i can't find somebody is starting to hit home girls just don't warm to me for whatever reason!

You are obsessed with Justin Bieber ............. and seem to be a tad vain.

PingO_O · 15-10-2012 10:14pm

Internet Hero wrote: »

no its just one for true love. you can like others but only one is true. true love

Nah

1ZRed · 15-10-2012 10:14pm

EdenHazard wrote: »

however ugly i am now the reality that this is the best looking I'll ever be yet i can't find somebody is starting to hit home girls just don't warm to me for whatever reason!

You're not that bad off. I've seen your pics and you're not a bad looking guy at all. I've seen some guys who would be less attractive and pull great looking girls because they're great lads through and through. Looks can really mean feck all a lot of the times.

Just have confidence in yourself and your ability, don't be arrogant about it or yourself, and you'll be sorted.

af_thefragile · 15-10-2012 10:21pm

1ZRed wrote: »

You're not that bad off. I've seen your pics and you're not a bad looking guy at all. I've seen some guys who would be less attractive and pull great looking girls because they're great lads through and through. Looks can really mean feck all a lot of the times.

Just have confidence in yourself and your ability, don't be arrogant about it or yourself, and you'll be sorted.

Its all about confidence. My friend who isn't a great looking guy as in he's not someone whom girl's would instantly fall for, he's not very tall, he's not athletic or anything, but he gets girls all the time because he's very confident and doesn't shy away from talking to anyone. Getting girls for him is a no big deal.

Although I'm pretty much the opposite of him as I'm much more quite, shy and introverted thus I'm forever alone!

1ZRed · 15-10-2012 10:22pm

Internet Hero wrote: »

no its just one for true love. you can like others but only one is true. true love

And I'm the gay one here..

1ZRed · 15-10-2012 10:26pm

shopaholic01 wrote: »

You are obsessed with Justin Bieber ............. and seem to be a tad vain.

Has he considered being a hipster yet?

Internet Hero · 15-10-2012 10:27pm

1ZRed wrote: »

And I'm the gay one here..

i never called u gay

PingO_O · 15-10-2012 10:28pm

Internet Hero wrote: »

no its just one for true love. you can like others but only one is true. true love

You see that idea just doesn't work in reality. My true love fell out of love with me and broke up with me. Am I screwed now forever?

EdenHazard · 15-10-2012 10:28pm

shopaholic01 wrote: »

You are obsessed with Justin Bieber ............. and seem to be a tad vain.

He's a cool guy

1ZRed · 15-10-2012 10:29pm

EdenHazard wrote: »

He's a cool guy

My body and facial hair say otherwise

Edit: the guy is like a boy is my point. I don't think any grown man should aspire to him.. well considering he's so short, it wouldn't be hard, but you get what I'm on about.

Internet Hero · 15-10-2012 10:29pm

PingO_O wrote: »

You see that idea just doesn't work in reality. My true love fell out of love with me and broke up with me. Am I screwed now forever?

wasnt yoru true love. the true one is still out there somewhere and u are going closer each day

PingO_O · 15-10-2012 10:30pm

Internet Hero wrote: »

wasnt yoru true love. the true one is still out there somewhere and u are going closer each day

Awwwww, how can I stay angry at you

1ZRed · 15-10-2012 10:32pm

Internet Hero wrote: »

i never called u gay

After that post I don't think I'll need to call myself gay anymore :pac:

Ziegfeldgirl27 · 15-10-2012 10:33pm

Seeing couples annoys me too. I am 24 and although I have my whole life ahead of me (more or less!

) i can't help but feel life is passing me by. Although I absolutely love being single, and it's not my goal in life to get married like most people, I would like to some day. My problem is I am too shy and I immediately put up a barrier the moment any young fella approaches me. Also I don't drink so I don't feel the pub or the nightclub is where I am going to meet my "someone".

shopaholic01 · 15-10-2012 10:39pm

EdenHazard wrote: »

He's a cool guy

No, he's not. He's far too pretty for a guy and is some PR executives wet dream to market to hormonal, easily excitable under 16 girls.

Honestly...Do you ever feel like you will be alone forever?

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