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Stories friends swear are true

13

Comments

  • #102
    Yer Da sells Avon
    Closed Accounts Posts: 3,737 ✭✭✭Yer Da sells Avon


    heldel00 wrote: »
    ^^^ and generations to come will have an aunt Shakira and an Uncle Jayden/ Hayden/ Kayden.

    And an uncle Mary.

    This place has gone so bad, I'm having to make my own transphobic jokes. :(


  • #103
    Wheety
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,512 ✭✭✭Wheety


    completedit wrote: »
    Hahahaha cringe. Just in the aftermath of the graphic awe inspiring visuals of 9/11, the thoughts of Grafton St, next scene of a terrorist attack seems so quaint. Ofc we weren’t oblivious to terrorism on this island before and the nature of terrorist attacks in Europe in recent years show an attack like this possible but just find it funny the self-importance and Irish centric nature of this one.

    The story is about someone helping a Muslim with something and getting a warning not to be at the twin towers, the night club in Paris, Tower Bridge etc on the day of the attacks. In any version I heard it was about an actual attack that happened. Not a supposed one on Grafton Street.

    I'm sure that's what the poster meant too. Not sure why they used Grafton Street as an example though :D


  • #104
    redmgar
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 680 ✭✭✭redmgar


    Wheety wrote: »
    The story is about someone helping a Muslim with something and getting a warning not to be at the twin towers, the night club in Paris, Tower Bridge etc on the day of the attacks. In any version I heard it was about an actual attack that happened. Not a supposed one on Grafton Street.

    I'm sure that's what the poster meant too. Not sure why they used Grafton Street as an example though :D
    I heard the grafton street one, and a specific date.


  • #105
    Wheety
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,512 ✭✭✭Wheety


    redmgar wrote: »
    I heard the grafton street one, and a specific date.

    Did the person actually avoid Grafton Street on that day? :D


  • #106
    touts
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,536 ✭✭✭touts


    The local election candidate who only got 4 votes and is standing in the count center with his wife, both his parents and his brother knowing one of them didn't vote for him.


  • #107
    Stop moaning ffs
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,850 ✭✭✭Stop moaning ffs


    touts wrote: »
    The local election candidate who only got 4 votes and is standing in the count center with his wife, both his parents and his brother knowing one of them didn't vote for him.

    Remember that.
    Still wondering what the outcome was in the pub or at dinner that night :)


  • #108
    Sinus pain
    Registered Users Posts: 507 ✭✭✭Sinus pain


    redmgar wrote: »
    Wheety wrote: »
    The story is about someone helping a Muslim with something and getting a warning not to be at the twin towers, the night club in Paris, Tower Bridge etc on the day of the attacks. In any version I heard it was about an actual attack that happened. Not a supposed one on Grafton Street.

    I'm sure that's what the poster meant too. Not sure why they used Grafton Street as an example though :D
    I heard the grafton street one, and a specific date.
    Me too I’ve heard graftin st and specific date (it was just after Christmas - I seen it on Facebook)


  • #109
    redmgar
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 680 ✭✭✭redmgar


    There was one were if you put your phonecard (remember them) in the freezer you would get unlimited credit.


  • #110
    Stop moaning ffs
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 4,850 ✭✭✭Stop moaning ffs


    Sinus pain wrote: »
    Me too I’ve heard graftin st and specific date (it was just after Christmas - I seen it on Facebook)

    There might be something to it.

    The last few years at the annual Christmas busk on Christmas Eve has seen massive Garda presence blocking it off at both ends with barriers etc.

    Also the huge block planters at grafton and henry st are specifically there to stop any loon in a car going on a rampage.


  • #111
    noubliezjamais
    Registered Users Posts: 253 ✭✭noubliezjamais


    The one where some guy in SE Asia goes on holiday with his friends then has nightmares the first and second day about drinking booze in the mirror, vomiting and getting grey eyes.

    He tells friends and they all decide not to drink anything. turns out that it saved his life. Someone at the resort tainted the cheap booze with methanol and it caused one of the other tourists to go completely blind.


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  • #112
    petros1980
    Registered Users Posts: 134 ✭✭petros1980


    idnkph wrote: »
    Lots of lads over the years saying they brought a friend out shooting and asked a farmer for permission. The farmer agrees and tells them they can have permission on the condition that in the first field at the end of the lane there is an old bull that is if no use anymore so if he kills the bull he can shoot the land.
    The friend of course was in the car/jeep and didn't hear of this condition.
    So when they get out with the guns and into the field he says to the friend "watch this" points the gun at the bull and shoots it dead ( thinking he will frighten the friend) but the friend says that's deadly and starts randomly shooting all the cows in the field.
    The amount of lads I heard this from is unreal and they all swear to god.

    :pac::pac::pac: Had heard this almost word for word when I was a teenager 20 years ago....


  • #113
    Obvious Desperate Breakfasts
    Closed Accounts Posts: 8,474 ✭✭✭Obvious Desperate Breakfasts


    There is a story in my husband’s family about one of his aunts going on a date with Phil Lynott. But I have to say, I believed it because of the high level of detail in the story and because it happened where she was from which wasn’t Dublin. But now I’m doubting it!


  • #114
    [Deleted User]
    Posts: 26,052 ✭✭✭✭ [Deleted User]


    B.A._Baracus wrote: »
    Not friends but i've personally lost count how many times a taxi driver has told me they saw the black woman leave the buggy at the bus stop.

    Hilarious, especially when you consider the number of taxi drivers who told me 'they' all get free cars!


  • #115
    MeTheMan
    Registered Users Posts: 527 ✭✭✭MeTheMan


    touts wrote: »
    The local election candidate who only got 4 votes and is standing in the count center with his wife, both his parents and his brother knowing one of them didn't vote for him.

    Wasn't there a fella in the last EU elections who got one vote and was in the count centre with wife and kids?


  • #116
    Ipso
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,995 ✭✭✭Ipso


    If you’re getting mugged at an atm and type your number backwards, it will alert the guards.
    Works wonders against very slow muggers.


  • #117
    Mad_maxx
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,503 ✭✭✭✭Mad_maxx


    Neighbour of mine ( British guy) claims to have flatted with the Yorkshire ripper, he would have been about ten years old at the time.

    Same guy claims to have been blackmailed by corrupt Spanish cops after being involved in a traffic accident close to Gibraltar, had to live on scraps for three days afterwards as they left him with only his clothes

    Might be true on both counts, you never know for sure.


  • #118
    enricoh
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,969 ✭✭✭enricoh


    A dreamer in the local boozer had a son that was away travelling all the time. He had no dough so would go to the cheapest places in africa to get more bang for his buck.

    One time he was hitch hiking in arse end of africa and a car pulls up and some aristocrat type asks him are you one of the sweeneys from bettystown! (he was!) real dr. Livingstone stuff.

    Another time the pilot got a heart attack n died, as the plane starts hurtling to the ground junior took over n saved the day!

    Some tribe also made him their head honcho/ deity that they worship n he gets to knock off any woman he wants.
    Etc, etc, etc!


  • #119
    Sheridan81
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,429 ✭✭✭Sheridan81


    Mad_maxx wrote: »
    Neighbour of mine ( British guy) claims to have flatted with the Yorkshire ripper, he would have been about ten years old at the time.


    Who would have been ten-the neighbour or the Yorkshire ripper?

    And what age is the neighbour now?


  • #120
    xabi
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,006 ✭✭✭xabi


    Aussie bird on her period tells yer man to “stick it up my ****ter mate”


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  • #121
    Mad_maxx
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 13,503 ✭✭✭✭Mad_maxx


    Sheridan81 wrote: »
    Who would have been ten-the neighbour or the Yorkshire ripper?

    And what age is the neighbour now?

    Neighbour is circa 52, the ripper was caught by police in January 1981

    Would have been closer to fifteen around the time of the killings, still an unlikely tale


  • #122
    Paddy Cow
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,576 ✭✭✭Paddy Cow


    EmmetSpiceland wrote: »
    Yeah, I’ve a “friend” who’s always telling those type of “tales”. Been going on for over twenty years at this stage.

    There was the one about the guy who finds out he’s about to ride a member of the travelling community when she tells him to “horse it into me, boss!”.

    Or the one about the “closet goblin” where a guy takes acid and basically kidnaps a child with special needs and locks him into a wardrobe.

    Or the one about the guy who “sh the bed” in his girlfriend’s house and blames it on the dog, which gets put down as it was old and crapping inside is a sign they aren’t going to last long.

    Or the one about the guy pulling a “strange”, hot, girl, who, during sex, stuffs a face cloth up his arse telling him he’ll “cum like a horse”. She whips it out as he’s about to blow his “muck” but instead of the frontal “joy” he ends up shing all over the place. He then runs to the bathroom to clean up and when he returns the hot girl is rolling around and making “poo angels” on the bed.

    All juvenile, fictitious, nonsense and all told with a straight face and a “swear to god”.
    There's also the classic where a guy is at a house party. He goes into a room and his friend is going at it with an unconscious girl. He finishes and tells the guy to have a go, so he does. The girl starts to wake up and he realises it's his sister.


  • #123
    Paddy Cow
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,576 ✭✭✭Paddy Cow


    Standman wrote: »
    There was this one I actually read on boards, a bit out there but possibly the most plausible one I've come across.
    The best part about that is the username :pac:


  • #124
    Paddy Cow
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,576 ✭✭✭Paddy Cow


    mfceiling wrote: »
    Bono having dinner and the person asks his dining companion to take a photo of them and Bono together.

    The person who they asked to take a pic just happened to be Bruce Springsteen.
    This one even made it onto the red chair on Graham Norton.


  • #125
    EmmetSpiceland
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,016 ✭✭✭✭EmmetSpiceland


    xabi wrote: »
    Aussie bird on her period tells yer man to “stick it up my ****ter mate”

    When I heard that it was “crank it up...”

    “It is not blood that makes you Irish but a willingness to be part of the Irish nation” - Thomas Davis



  • #126
    Masala
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,501 ✭✭✭Masala


    Everyone has an uncle and aunt who met an old friend on the street laden with Penneys bags and the friend was going to get something to eat. He of course invites the uncle and aunt to join him which they do. After the meal .. the stranger asks the uncle to watch the Penney bags while he goes to the toilet. Of course ... he never comes back and the uncle gets stung for the cost of the 3 meals. AND when they open the Penneys bags... they stuffed with newspapers.


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  • #127
    Capt'n Midnight
    Moderators, Recreation & Hobbies Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators, Technology & Internet Moderators Posts: 92,450 Mod ✭✭✭✭Capt'n Midnight


    MeTheMan wrote: »
    Wasn't there a fella in the last EU elections who got one vote and was in the count centre with wife and kids?

    Patrick Feeney , but he stood in two electoral areas and got 32 votes in the other one.


  • #128
    nthclare
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,315 ✭✭✭nthclare


    If you walk backwards around the church 12 time's at midnight you'll see the Devil....


  • #129
    bcklschaps
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,089 ✭✭✭bcklschaps


    The Princess Bride wrote: »
    An acquaintance told me of her friend who was in the local shopping centre
    And she looked into her buggy and saw that her daughter was gone.
    And she screamed and the security guard came running.
    And he closed down the shopping centre so all of the exit doors were shut.
    And they searched for the child.
    And they went into the bathrooms.

    ...and found the child, who'd been changed into boy clothing and had had her hair cut short to make her look like a boy.
    And this happened in the town next to us and oddly enough, never made it onto the news or into the papers.

    Clearly untrue, but even if it were , imagine the amount of time all that would have taken? Why wouldn't they just bring the toddler out the door to begin with before the alarm was raised.


  • #130
    littlevillage
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,173 ✭✭✭littlevillage


    Theres a guy works down the chip shop, swears he's Elvis


  • #131
    blade1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,460 ✭✭✭✭blade1


    EmmetSpiceland wrote: »

    There was the one about the guy who finds out he’s about to ride a member of the travelling community when she tells him to “horse it into me, boss!”.

    Reminds me of the night I was dropping this one home and we pull up outside a halting site.
    I said "I thought you said you were a nurse?"
    She said "no, I said I was one of the Ward sisters". :D


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  • #132
    nthclare
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 3,315 ✭✭✭nthclare


    littlevillage wrote: »
    Theres a guy works down the chip shop, swears he's Elvis

    Is his name Aaron Esley ?

    We have one of those in Clare.


  • #133
    the beer revolu
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,149 ✭✭✭✭the beer revolu


    littlevillage wrote: »
    Theres a guy works down the chip shop, swears he's Elvis

    Liar!


  • #134
    Poor Uncle Tom
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 14,546 ✭✭✭✭Poor Uncle Tom


    nthclare wrote: »
    Everyone I know from Cork City who's over 44 knows someone or themselves seen Nirvana in Sir Henry s even though I heard that there was only twenty odd people there...

    Yeah, the rest were sound though.....


  • #135
    patmac
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,589 ✭✭✭patmac


    xabi wrote: »
    Aussie bird on her period tells yer man to “stick it up my ****ter mate”

    This happened (was told by) to a friend of mine in the mid eighties, ‘sorry I’m flying a red flag tonight, but you can give me one up the ****ter if you want’
    Also U2’s first gig in the Cellar in Galway, must have been thousands at it(50 apparently).


  • #136
    Phileas Frog
    Closed Accounts Posts: 946 ✭✭✭Phileas Frog


    nthclare wrote: »
    If you walk backwards around the church 12 time's at midnight you'll see the Devil....

    That one's true


  • #137
    patmac
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,589 ✭✭✭patmac


    There is also the story of the girl whose parents go away on her 18th birthday, she’s so annoyed that she calls her boyfriend round. They have sex and afterwards she says she’s hungry, so he carry’s her down the stairs naked into the sitting room, all her relatives are waiting there for the ‘surprise ‘ birthday party.


  • #138
    vriesmays
    Registered Users Posts: 1,570 ✭✭✭vriesmays


    Back in the '80s banks were giving out loans to new bands who wanted to be the next u2.


  • #139
    the beer revolu
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 17,149 ✭✭✭✭the beer revolu


    Immigrants get cars from the dole to get to work.


  • #140
    greenttc
    Registered Users Posts: 927 ✭✭✭greenttc


    have heard two that are typical "Irish hate the celebrity" stories

    first is the one where a guy goes into queens bar in dalkey to meet a girl he is having a first date with, bono is there so he decides to ask bono if he would do him a favour and come over to say hello when the girl turns up so that he can impress her and Bono agrees. the girl turns up and a few minutes later bono walks over and slaps the guy on the back and says hello and the guy turns around and says "ah jaysus bono, will ya ever leave me alone can ya not see im on a date!"

    the second is one where rosanna davidson was in anabelles (old nightclub in the burlington) and there is a group of lads there, one of them turns around and says to roseanna, "can i get a photo?" so she agrees and poses and puts on her best smile but the guy says "what are you doing"? and hands her a camera while putting his arm around his friend, gesturing that she should take a photo of him and his buddy's.

    nothing like a good ol' celebrity shaming story for doing the rounds!


  • #141
    Ipso
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,995 ✭✭✭Ipso


    littlevillage wrote: »
    Theres a guy works down the chip shop, swears he's Elvis

    And there’s a woman down the kebab shop who swears she’s Kirsty McColl.


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  • #142
    freshpopcorn
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 30,807 ✭✭✭✭freshpopcorn


    They saw Santa on Christmas Eve or there parents brought them to see the real Santa!


  • #143
    ILoveYourVibes
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 15,202 ✭✭✭✭ILoveYourVibes


    freshpopcorn wrote: »
    They saw Santa on Christmas Eve or there parents brought them to see the real Santa!
    Cute.


  • #144
    tea and coffee
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,836 ✭✭✭tea and coffee


    How many people swear they have heard these stories from friends but actually never have or just read them online?


  • #145
    redmgar
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 680 ✭✭✭redmgar


    https://londonist.com/2010/11/fortean_london_the_corpse_on_the_tu

    I heard this from someone in Australia, said it happened to their friend.


  • #146
    Feisar
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,698 ✭✭✭Feisar


    B.A._Baracus wrote: »
    Not friends but i've personally lost count how many times a taxi driver has told me they saw the black woman leave the buggy at the bus stop.

    Did the taxi driver not get offered the buggy as payment?

    First they came for the socialists...



  • #147
    mariaalice
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 12,615 ✭✭✭✭mariaalice


    I like this one becaue it has a long history and is related to this allegorical myth or stroy.

    https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rich_man_and_Lazarus

    Long story short, a small estate of large Celtic tiger million-pound house are built a short distance from a council estate anyway the first Halloween children from the council call around the first house they call to the man having no sweets gives them 20 euro the estate is the overrun with the children from the council estate thinking they are going to get money the other resident are up in arms about this.

    The next year the estate hires security guards to keep the children from the council estate out on Halloween.


  • #148
    Gannicus
    Registered Users Posts: 1,736 ✭✭✭Gannicus


    Here's a woefully odd story I heard back in my late teens (circa 2005) from a bloke I worked with and used to hang out with


    He alledges he knew a girl that that lived near him that as a way to, when she was home alone, "look after herself" (for lack of a better term) ... by putting her old Nokia phone inside a condom and ring it from the land line so it would vibrate and that she tried the limited number of vibrate settings it had to see which was best.

    He only ever gave her nickname and we never saw her around the village, EVER but he swore blind that she admitted this to a group of them when she was absolutely slaughtered drunk at a gaf party.

    Myself or the lads never met anyone who could confirm this story so needless to say we couldn't believe it but it was always entertaining to hear him tell it because it was funny to us and he looked like an eejit telling it.


  • #149
    Feisar
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,698 ✭✭✭Feisar


    Gannicus wrote: »
    Here's a woefully odd story I heard back in my late teens (circa 2005) from a bloke I worked with and used to hang out with


    He alledges he knew a girl that that lived near him that as a way to, when she was home alone, "look after herself" (for lack of a better term) ... by putting her old Nokia phone inside a condom and ring it from the land line so it would vibrate and that she tried the limited number of vibrate settings it had to see which was best.

    He only ever gave her nickname and we never saw her around the village, EVER but he swore blind that she admitted this to a group of them when she was absolutely slaughtered drunk at a gaf party.

    Myself or the lads never met anyone who could confirm this story so needless to say we couldn't believe it but it was always entertaining to hear him tell it because it was funny to us and he looked like an eejit telling it.

    To be fair if I had a clit and a vibrating phone I probably would have tried it.

    First they came for the socialists...



  • #150
    Gannicus
    Registered Users Posts: 1,736 ✭✭✭Gannicus


    Feisar wrote: »
    To be fair if I had a clit and a vibrating phone I probably would have tried it.


    You do. :D


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  • #151
    Gannicus
    Registered Users Posts: 1,736 ✭✭✭Gannicus


    greenttc wrote: »
    the second is one where rosanna davidson was in anabelles (old nightclub in the burlington) and there is a group of lads there, one of them turns around and says to roseanna, "can i get a photo?" so she agrees and poses and puts on her best smile but the guy says "what are you doing"? and hands her a camera while putting his arm around his friend, gesturing that she should take a photo of him and his buddy's.

    My leaving cert English Teacher told us that very same story but it was Ian Wright in (the now gone) Fireworks nightclub on Pearse Streeet :D:D:D


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