The words "died unexpectedly" on a death notice.

Itssoeasy · 11-12-2017 9:57pm #1

I've never understood this being put on death notices. People do die suddenly but death at some point isn't unexpected.

I mean if you're in your 70s or 80s then you are expecting to die. I'm sure people want to live as long as they can but when it does happen it's not unexpected.

Yes I had a lot of time to think over the weekend and it was something that came up.

Vex Willems · 11-12-2017 10:02pm

How hard is it to understand that people who aren't ill die unexpectedly!

dmc17 · 11-12-2017 10:02pm

I think it is more a case of dying without any warning or being ill. If you had a terminal illness, then you may be expected to die within a more predictable timeframe

whoopsadoodles · 11-12-2017 10:04pm

dmc17 wrote: »

I think it is more a case of dying without any warning

You mean....unexpectedly?

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1 · 11-12-2017 10:04pm

Do you seriously not understand?

Subacio · 11-12-2017 10:05pm

I once read an obituary in the local paper and it included the following gem. "His death came as a big surprise to many, sadly including himself, as he was due to go on a safari holiday next month."

RayM · 11-12-2017 10:06pm

Itssoeasy wrote: »

I mean if you're in your 70s or 80s then you are expecting to die. I'm sure people want to live as long as they can but when it does happen it's not unexpected.

If a person seems relatively healthy one day, and is dead the next, well that's unexpected, whatever their age.

11-12-2017 10:06pm

Theodore Fluffy Net wrote: »

Do you seriously not understand?

It’s notsoeasy, or so it would seem.

gctest50 · 11-12-2017 10:06pm

You can drop dead without warning at any time.

Eg. About 1 in 50 have an aneurysm - fatal about 40% of the time

Snotty · 11-12-2017 10:06pm

So a one year old baby dies and you think "sure everyone dies, this is no different"
Scraping the bottom of the barrel for threads this evening.

riffmongous · 11-12-2017 10:06pm

Itssoeasy wrote: »

I've never understood this being put on death notices. People do die suddenly but death at some point isn't unexpected.

I mean if you're in your 70s or 80s then you are expecting to die. I'm sure people want to live as long as they can but when it does happen it's not unexpected.

Yes I had a lot of time to think over the weekend and it was something that came up.

Someone in their 70s could still live for as long a period of time as I have been alive so far, (which is a bit crazy when I think about it and how I'm starting to feel oldish) and they don't spend that time just waiting to die. So if they are not ill it's still unexpected.

Tom Mann Centuria · 11-12-2017 10:07pm

Surprisingly died.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1 · 11-12-2017 10:07pm

The death has occurred of colour-blind Fred. He thought the lights were green when they were red.

milehip · 11-12-2017 10:08pm

Hay for sale

elperello · 11-12-2017 10:09pm

Itssoeasy wrote: »

I've never understood this being put on death notices. People do die suddenly but death at some point isn't unexpected.

I mean if you're in your 70s or 80s then you are expecting to die. I'm sure people want to live as long as they can but when it does happen it's not unexpected.

Yes I had a lot of time to think over the weekend and it was something that came up.

Try to find someone to talk to about things like this.

RayM · 11-12-2017 10:09pm

gctest50 wrote: »

You can drop dead without warning at any time.

Exactl

mfceiling · 11-12-2017 10:12pm

Like ricky gervais talking about the 90 year old woman who was attacked and suffered a bad facial cut. Local newsagent says to him "poor old lady.....scarred for life"

darkdubh · 11-12-2017 10:13pm

Often an euphemism for suicide, especially if it was a quite young person. It's probably the biggest killer in this country for under 40's.

lazybones32 · 11-12-2017 10:13pm

I've seen it used as code for suicide. If "donations to Pieta House in lieu of flowers" accompanies it, well...

riffmongous · 11-12-2017 10:17pm

I thought 'tragically' was the code for suicide?

bottlebrush · 11-12-2017 10:18pm

The thing about death notices that I don't understand are the ones that read like CVs. I read one recently that had all the qualifications of the deceased ie a string of letters after her name and not only that but had all the academic credentials of her surviving relatives listed as well. is the man at the pearly gates going to ask her how successful she and her relations were in academia before deciding whether she gets in or not? I mean when I read the death notice I would have known who she was anyway without all that palaver.

Tom Mann Centuria · 11-12-2017 10:19pm

riffmongous wrote: »

I thought 'tragically' was the code for suicide?

And untimely, but that could be for an accident too.

endacl · 11-12-2017 10:21pm

Theodore Fluffy Net wrote: »

Do you seriously not understand?

Comprehended unexpectedly?

Snotty · 11-12-2017 10:21pm

darkdubh wrote: »

Often an euphemism for suicide, especially if it was a quite young person. It's probably the biggest killer in this country for under 40's.

Unexpectedly is just code for "wasn't terminally or gravely I'll", tragic would be more suicide related but not a definite code.

endacl · 11-12-2017 10:23pm

bottlebrush wrote: »

The thing about death notices that I don't understand are the ones that read like CVs. I read one recently that had all the qualifications of the deceased ie a string of letters after her name and not only that but had all the academic credentials of her surviving relatives listed as well. is the man at the pearly gates going to ask her how successful she and her relations were in academia before deciding whether she gets in or not? I mean when I read the death notice I would have known who she was anyway without all that palaver.

I totally agree.

Endacl MSc PGradDip HDip Bmus.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1 · 11-12-2017 10:24pm

darkdubh wrote: »

Often an euphemism for suicide, especially if it was a quite young person. It's probably the biggest killer in this country for under 40's.

lazybones32 wrote: »

I've seen it used as code for suicide. If "donations to Pieta House in lieu of flowers" accompanies it, well...

Not really. It's usually, 'after a short/long illness...', ' unexpectedly', 'peacefully', etc.

Tragically or unexpectedly can, of course, refer to suicide but by no means exclusively.

bottlebrush · 11-12-2017 10:24pm

endacl wrote: »

I totally agree.

Endacl MSc PGradDip HDip Bmus.

death the leveler

screamer · 11-12-2017 10:25pm

We have many words which we use where death is concerned.
Yes death is an eventuality... Doesn't make it any less shocking or unexpected when it happens. Especially if the person was healthy and just died no matter whether they are 9 or 90. It's a shock to their loved ones and saying "oh well sure we all die" is not going to change that.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1 · 11-12-2017 10:27pm

bottlebrush wrote: »

death the leveler

Soon to be a spirit leveller.

RayM · 11-12-2017 10:27pm

In the highly unlikely event that I live beyond 80, I want the words "died eventually" on my death notice.

tayto lover · 11-12-2017 10:29pm

Myself and another lad at work used to play a game of "Obituaries" when we got the morning Independent. It was for a fiver. He got "suddenly" and "unexpectedly" and I got "peacefully" on it's own. The game was always very close.
It was a very busy office we worked in obviously.

At the end of the day all deaths are due to lack of breath.

corner of hells · 11-12-2017 10:29pm

endacl wrote: »

bottlebrush wrote: »

The thing about death notices that I don't understand are the ones that read like CVs. I read one recently that had all the qualifications of the deceased ie a string of letters after her name and not only that but had all the academic credentials of her surviving relatives listed as well. is the man at the pearly gates going to ask her how successful she and her relations were in academia before deciding whether she gets in or not? I mean when I read the death notice I would have known who she was anyway without all that palaver.

I totally agree.

Endacl MSc PGradDip HDip Bmus.

Alphabet spaghetti for tea ?

bottlebrush · 11-12-2017 10:34pm

endacl wrote: »

I totally agree.

Endacl MSc PGradDip HDip Bmus.

care of The Music Department, Heaven.

whisky_galore · 11-12-2017 10:37pm

darkdubh wrote: »

Often an euphemism for suicide, especially if it was a quite young person. It's probably the biggest killer in this country for under 40's.

"Personal tragedy" is a common euphemism.

Cee-Jay-Cee · 11-12-2017 10:46pm

Theodore Fluffy Net wrote: »

The death has occurred of colour-blind Fred. He thought the lights were green when they were red.

That's not the way colour blindness works, no one mistakes one colour for another. They see colours differently but they still call that colour the same name as you or someone who is not colour blind. Sorry.

Anyway back on topic, I always found the line 'died suddenly' a little amusing, everyone dies suddenly, in that one second they were alive and the next they weren't.

ytpe2r5bxkn0c1 · 11-12-2017 10:52pm

Cee-Jay-Cee wrote: »

That's not the way colour blindness works, no one mistakes one colour for another. They see colours differently but they still call that colour the same name as you or someone who is not colour blind. Sorry.

Anyway back on topic, I always found the line 'died suddenly' a little amusing, everyone dies suddenly, in that one second they were alive and the next they weren't.

Jeez!!!!

It's called a gag, not intended to be scientifically nor biologically accurate.

whoopsadoodles · 11-12-2017 10:54pm

Cee-Jay-Cee wrote: »

That's not the way colour blindness works, no one mistakes one colour for another. They see colours differently but they still call that colour the same name as you or someone who is not colour blind. Sorry.

Well you're not going to die laughing, that's for sure.

andekwarhola · 11-12-2017 10:59pm

The margins about where to mine for annoyance in everyday life are really becoming infinitesimal.

Itssoeasy · 11-12-2017 11:05pm

Vex Willems wrote: »

How hard is it to understand that people who aren't ill die unexpectedly!

I'd use the word suddenly then as that person who wasn't ill did die suddenly. If the person is ill they normally say after a long or brief illness. Also reading a few of the posts, I wouldn't have known about the apparent ways of not saying suicide on a death notice.

Also we Irish really have some inventive ways of getting around awkward family situations. Like saying "and his friend x"

11-12-2017 11:05pm

andekwarhola wrote: »

The margins about where to mine for annoyance in everyday life are really becoming infinitesimal.

I am needlessly offended by your intelligence and eloquent observation.

You shall, perhaps, die unexpectedly! Have at thee, warmonger! :eek:

the_syco · 11-12-2017 11:12pm

bottlebrush wrote: »

I read one recently that had all the qualifications of the deceased ie a string of letters after her name

If her name is common, the creds would allow people who knew her know that she had died.

It's also done out of respect of who she was.

Cee-Jay-Cee wrote: »

Anyway back on topic, I always found the line 'died suddenly' a little amusing, everyone dies suddenly, in that one second they were alive and the next they weren't.

I find that someone dying unexpectedly would often mean that they weren't in the hospital or nursing home when it happened.

and still ricky villa · 11-12-2017 11:12pm

I want to die like my father, peacefully in his sleep, not screaming and terrified, like his passengers.
- Bob Monkhouse

who died unexpectedly

bottlebrush · 11-12-2017 11:37pm

the_syco wrote: »

If her name is common, the creds would allow people who knew her know that she had died.

It's also done out of respect of who she was.

I find that someone dying unexpectedly would often mean that they weren't in the hospital or nursing home when it happened.

I would hope that everybody regardless of their qualifications would be worthy of respect in death

splinter65 · 11-12-2017 11:59pm

Itssoeasy wrote: »

I've never understood this being put on death notices. People do die suddenly but death at some point isn't unexpected.

I mean if you're in your 70s or 80s then you are expecting to die. I'm sure people want to live as long as they can but when it does happen it's not unexpected.

Yes I had a lot of time to think over the weekend and it was something that came up.

If you’re 83 and you were at bridge on Sunday and your grandchild’s nativity play on Tuesday and played golf on Friday, then doze off in the armchair watching the rugby on TV and don’t wake up, you’ve died unexpectedly.

splinter65 · 12-12-2017 12:03am

darkdubh wrote: »

Often an euphemism for suicide, especially if it was a quite young person. It's probably the biggest killer in this country for under 40's.

No suicide is now tragically, or suddenly or unexpectedly “at home” with a request for “family flowers only, donations to Pieta House”.

Buford T. Justice XIX · 12-12-2017 12:20am

milehip wrote: »

Hay for sale

I think many missed that reference unfortunately.

branie2 · 12-12-2017 1:02am

A fatal heart attack is an unexpected death

amtc · 12-12-2017 8:13am

Not quite the same but an old family friend died earlier this year. My mam and my aunt were at her bedside. Everything had been disconnected so knew she was close to death. However neither of them knew how you actually knew if someone died. Cue hysteria as both them started looking for mirrors to show breath.

everlast75 · 12-12-2017 8:16am

"Died unexpectedly" will not be the appropriate phrase for this thread.. ..

Oink · 12-12-2017 8:35am

For my own obituary I would much prefer them to say “unexpectedly” rather than things like “wonderful surprise” or “karmic justice”, “”Free at last, Free at last, thank God Almighty we are free at last!”

CeilingFly · 12-12-2017 8:36am

Its Funeral Director speak.

"In loving care of sisters at xx hospice" or "peacefully" = died of old age

"After short illness" - usually 3-4 weeks. If you knew them, you may feel a little guilt not knowing of the illness

"tragically" - can be anything from suicide, drowning, car accident etc. Words such as pieta house (suicide) or RNLI (drowning) give more info.

"Unexpectedly" - Usually heart attack, stroke or some other illness that was not known / cause of concern prior. Also means that if you knew of the person, you don;t feel gulity not dropping by beforehand if they had been ill.

Good to remember that a funeral director is dealing with an extended family - so wording has to take into account different thoughts / views.

When my mother inlaw passes, boith myself and my wife would like to say "Thankfully, at last"

(yep, I have a MIL from hell)

The words "died unexpectedly" on a death notice.

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