Introduce Yourself

Pixie83 · 27-03-2008 12:21pm

I am 25 and I was adpoted when I was about 2 weeks old. I have always been aware that I am adopted. It was always spoken about in our house as my sister is also adopted. Our parents were very loving and supportive in every decision we made in relation to contacting our birth parents.

I was very lucky when I contacted my Birth Mother. She is so happy that I wanted to meet her. We met about 5 years ago and we are in regular contact ever since. I have two brothers and even with the age gap (they are 12 and 15) we get on very well. All of her family (and her husbands family) have made me very welcome.

Overall I am very happy with the end result and any questions I had have now been answered. I have decided not to look for my birth fater just yet as I am still getting used to having another family for now!!

emma11811 · 03-08-2008 11:42am

smccarrick wrote: »

I'll start the ball rolling.....

I'm adopted and 32 years of age. I grew up in a large family, who mean the world to me. I sought my birthmum a few years ago and after a long and difficult search finally found her. I have several siblings who I have never met, but would love to.

hi I too was adopted but when I contacted the health borad I was told my mother had died but she had three other children she gave up for adoption I have there dates of birth and the names she gave them so where do I go from here

martinf · 06-08-2008 2:29pm

emma11811 wrote: »

hi I too was adopted but when I contacted the health borad I was told my mother had died but she had three other children she gave up for adoption I have there dates of birth and the names she gave them so where do I go from here

Hi Emma,

Probably the best thing you can do is contact the health board and say that you want to conduct a trace for your siblings, assuming that you do. They should be able to point you in the right direction as regards what agencies may have dealt with your siblingsAs your birthmother is dead this should actually reduce one layer of complexity as they won't need to inform her that you are trying to trace your siblings. If you were interested you cpuld also get copies of their original birth records given that you have their original name, date of birth and presumably mothers surname. Even if you don't have the surname you can cross reference the three records to point you to the right ones. The birth records can be researched at the General Registry Office in the Irish Life Mall (I don't believe they're back in their usual home of Joyce house yet).

It's a very exciting thought for most people to search for a sibling especially as it doesn't seem to carry the same "baggage" as searching for birthparents. I have met three of my seven siblings so far and it has been great. best of luck with your search.

Best wishes

Martin

carbsy · 17-12-2008 3:27pm

Hi all, I've been on this forum for 7 years and didn't notice this section until now! I'm 34 and was adopted when I was a few weeks old.I had a very good and lucky upbringing with extremely loving parents.I rarely if ever think about my birth parents as I'm happy the way things are.My sister is also adopted, she searched for her mother and found her but it didn't work out.

bmw316 · 18-02-2009 1:33pm

hi all well i am 37 and got a phone call one night from a girl who said she was my older sister well i laughed it off as a prank but turns out she really is my sister this has torn my family apart were all fighting now i met this girl and we bonded straight off but my family want nothing to do with her ashamed of them really but now my own wife and kids have started to suffer because of all this.

just wanted to say i love my older sister and heres my support as i know your here sis, chin up we meet again soon. j.

shezzie · 25-02-2009 12:05am

hey i am 32 to and started my search last may got my non identifableinfo then and not much since...i was given up straight from birth and was very lucky to get the family i have...one hopefully ill meet the birth parents and siblings...

sanj2408 · 25-02-2009 12:23am

Hi all, Im 24, adopted since birth, I know my birth mother all my life found out who she is about 5 years ago, have no interest in meeting my biological dad.
I have a wonderful family and often forget that I was adopted!
I recently had a baby and my birth mother has been causing me hassle ever since she found out I was pregnant. She never had counselling after the adoption and I really think she needs it. it has got to the stage where i don't want to see her at all and will avoid her whenever possible.
Ive never really spoken to anyone about it and really wish id discovered this forum earlier.
Has anyone had a similar experience to me?

shezzie · 25-02-2009 9:55am

hi sanj.. i am adopted dont really want to know birth father as he was married with three children and didnt want to know bout me or my birth mother till she gave me up... havent met birth mother in the process of tracing, taking a long time.. i can only suggest you sit the lady down and set about some bounderies of if and when you meet and maybe suggest she talk to someone properly about giving you up..it must have been very traumatic for her..some people gave babies away like tshirts yours cared....at least that is something..i have a friend who few years ago ago found out she had three other siblings same birth mother and father all four children given away without thought..

it may be hard to have this chat but everyone will know where they are...no awkwardness from now on..just say what you have to say nicely

best of luck

sanj2408 · 25-02-2009 11:41pm

Hi Shezzie thanks for that from what I can gather my birth-dad was also married with children.
The problem is that my birth mum is actually a family member so we do see each other quite regularly in the norm.
I probably should speak to her but she makes me feel so awkward, she cries and says some very inappropriate things and I always just get this urge to run away when I do see her.
Im very lucky in that I never had to do the whole searching thing and I really admire anyone that does it, it must be hard.
Best of luck!

dublinreject · 28-02-2009 3:26pm

hey - do people post on here regularly?

I was born in Rountunda hospital Dublin in 1979... i had a few details about the bio mum etc but only started searching properly a few years back - one day when i was frustrated with the 'system' once again denying me access to gardai files etc - i googled her name and voila there she was in all her 'glory' ... splashed across a fair few newspapers and selling her story (it was pretty tragic to be honest) to anyone that'd listen... long story short - i contacted her, she told me she didnt want to meet me 'at this time' and basically to get lost - infact her words were 'i knew you'd show up someday, i was just going to tell you i was dead and shut the door' ... nice that isnt it? Anyways that was in 2006 and she still refuses to give me any details about my Bio Dad... think i should push it?

shezzie · 28-02-2009 9:52pm

hey dublinreject...i am adopted too and on the tracing road with not much luck...havent met either of them ...dont know there full names...anyway for you i would ask her to meet you politely and if that does not suceed i would be abit more harsher with my words christ everyone has a right to know bout there birth, where they came from and why they came about..i dont understand why birth parents dont understand this you cant simply have a baby give it up and not expect them to wanna know...they owe us abit more respect we are their children...so yeah if she isnt responsive to being polite and patient and understanding then yeah repect goes both ways you will have to flush it out of her more directly..

for myself i am not looking for anything or at most friendship from my birth parents i was graced with the best family and would probably thank b.m.for giving me away in the sence i have had a great life but i would definately demand her to tell me bout b.f.

i wish you every luck....hope it works...let us know if it did.....its nice to hear positive stories on this subject as too many sadly are not...

dublinreject · 05-03-2009 10:10am

Thank you Shezzie .... sometimes i just feel really really angry and desperate when i think of her and her family knowing about my birth when i don't.. i've been considering a trip to Dublin to just face her but i have no contact details for her so i couldnt pre-warn her - might be a good thing anyway catch her on the bounce but then it could go the other way and i'd be frozen out totally.... Oh i dunno!!

I genuinely think that if she hadn't of been in the press i would still be looking for her, i found the processes to get information from Rep of Ireland painfully slow .. i hope you have news soon. I am in total agreement with you on the adoptive parents, i think if i won the lotto and gave it to them it still wouldnt be enough to repay them from taking me away from that woman .... all i can say is to love and cherish your real mum and dad - which i am sure you do anyways - its only biology that we are interested in!!!!

take care and hope to come back with some news soon! x

thegen · 10-03-2009 3:39pm

Hi All,

First time posting her. I am 43 living in Dublin, married two kids and have found my BM.

I have had my wife beside me through the whole process.

I did talk with my Mum and sister and told them what I was doing, but as yet told them I had contact with BM.

It has now moved on and a meet is to be arranged after Easter.

The above is a brief description of it so far for me.

M25 · 23-03-2009 3:27pm

Hi Everyone,

Im adopted found out when i was very young so its okay. Im 21 now, im trying to find my Birth mother for 2 years, well i was on a waiting list to get a social worker. However last August i was contacted that my case had been assigned. I frecked out a little & i put it off til Janurary. I finally met up with the social worker on the 25th feb on my birthday of all days! But anyway the meeting went well, shes very nice. She said she would try & contact my birthmother, that is the next step she said. So after 2 weeks she rings me & tells me that my mother responsed to her letter, My social worker rang me last Wednesday to tel me this. I panicked & started crying. I was in work at the time, i had to go home early. I felt really bad coz im on work placement for college & i left early. I dealt with this a lot better when i was younger. I have to ring my social worker later today, she said she was going to meet my mother & her husband next week. Im really scared, im not sure how im sappose to be feeling or how to cope with this. My adopted family are great, my dad & stepmom. My adopted mother died when i was 3 so didnt have a mother figure so to speak for 12 years til my dad married my stepmom. Shes great though.

Still i dont know what to do? Sorry i know this is really long just needed to talk about it with people who may have gone through this. Thanks for listening everyone.

shezzie · 23-03-2009 3:38pm

it is a very huge time in your life all the questions that go round and around...you will be fine she wants to meet an important first step...maybe try to write alist of questions or things you wanna say i can only imagine that the mind goes blank when you meet and all the things you really wanted to say get lost in this initial meet up....i wish you all the luck in this .... if you wanna chat more you can private message me...i know how difficult it is am adopted

kathy finn · 23-03-2009 3:46pm

hi m25, what your feeling is perfectly normal the whole process of search and reunion is very emotional it,s like a rollercoaster you can feel one way one day and compleatly different the next.
this is the hard stage after u meet with your birthmum it will all settle down to a routine, if u let her she will fit into your life without taking over.
im now nearly 2 years into my reunion with my birthfather and he,s just another person i keep in contact with.
good luck in your reunion and just be yourself im sure you will get on great..kathy

M25 · 03-04-2009 1:20pm

Hi, Thank you for your advice & help, it means alot.

My brith mother has written back to the social worker & they decided to meet each other. The meeting went well between them, I feel alot better about it now coz she was delighted to hear i was looking for her. So far so good. I was a bit upset the other day but im fine now. My birthmother is married & has kids which still feels really really weird for me, they dont know about me. But she is not with my birthfather. But everything seems positive enough.

I must admit i do feel a certain amount of weight lifted off me when i found she wanted to find me. I think it was more emotional weight that i didnt even know i was carrying if you know what i mean. I seem to be sleeping alot better than i used to. The next step is she is going to write a letter to me but through the social worker. I am excited in a way to see what she will say. Im scared aswell of course of what she might say.

But that letter could take a long time to get written. I understand that completely. Just curious now

Il keep ye posted but so far so good.

The_Conductor · 03-04-2009 1:47pm

Congratulations M25- I can only imagine that you are on Cloud9! How do you feel about finding that you have siblings? I'm thrilled for you. I know you'll be awaiting at the door every evening when you get home to see if your first letter has arrived- I know I was. Congratulations! Shane

M25 · 03-04-2009 4:50pm

Thanks Shane! I am a little thrilled but im afraid to get too happy just yet coz i dont want to get hurt. Its really weird having other siblings to be honest, i already have a brother and i think i like it that way but you never know. The thing is the others dont know about me & their teens i think so i dont want to upset them or their life you know. Guess il just have to wait & see what she says in her letter. But i am secretly happy.

I just hope it doesnt go belly up.

shezzie · 03-04-2009 7:49pm

hello m25 just wanted to say the best of luck with the search and its looking very positive for you. i hope you get your letter sooner rather than later....my search has stalled badly am upset bout it but you have to get on with it. mine seemed so positive but has crashed so i can understand the emotions and trepedation and angst for the letter and communication - chin up - she wants to know you -

best of luck

edwina71 · 09-04-2009 4:19pm

hi im new to this site.just hoping someone can give me some advise.my name is edwina .i was adopted in 1971.five years ago with the help of a social worker i traced my birth mother.we met in person a year later.there wasnt a mother daughter bond there but you are who rears you i suppose.anyway we got on ok and she told me my birthfathers name but had had no contact with him in 35 years.she also told me i had a full brother called thomas who was a year younger than me.anyway to make a long story short 4 years after telling me that she would tell thomas about me she still hasnt.all she has told me is lies.i got my brothers birth cert and he is a year older than me.she also told me she was mever married then i found out she was.i have explained to her that i am not looking for anything other than for thomas to know i exist but she keeps fobbing me off.its beenlike this for 4 years now.i dont want to upset her or openup old wounds for her but she offered this info freely.i would realy love to meet my brother who at nearly 40 is entitled to know about me too ime wondering by lawcan she be made give me a contact number or address since she has told me so much about him.anyway ill leave it at that other than to say the person i am looking for is called thomas smith.easy name to trace??? he is from foulksmills in county wexford but moved to croydon in london about 20 years ago.he is 38 years of age and a baker by trade.in school his nickname was spinks.would be great if someone could help thanks

dorisoak · 12-05-2009 12:48pm

Hi

I'm 34 and was adopted from Bessboro, Co Cork. Unfortunately, my efforts to contact my birth mother did not go well. According to the adoption agency, when they contacted her 15 years ago she was adamant she wanted no contact. Recently I contacted Cork in attempts to trace my birth certificate. Sr Sarto was not a happy camper when the adoption board asked her to reattempt contact with my birth mother! Seemingly, this was not successful again ( she couldnt contact her). I still managed to get the birth certificate which is great but I really would love to know if anyone else has had a similar experience.

All I hear about is reunions!!

Thanx

dorisoak

The_Conductor · 12-05-2009 1:38pm

Welcome Dorisoak- sorry to hear about the problems encountered. You might be interested to know Sr. Sarto has now retired, and many people are having far better luck dealing with her replacement of late, than they had with her.

Best wishes,

Shane

dorisoak · 12-05-2009 2:05pm

Thanks Shane...I didn't realize Sr Sarto had retired. I'll try her replacement and see if I can get clearer answers. The infomation my parents were given when adopting me is completely different to Sr Sarto's version of events, but I understand that's commonplace.
Cheers again

The_Conductor · 12-05-2009 2:10pm

dorisoak wrote: »

Thanks Shane...I didn't realize Sr Sarto had retired. I'll try her replacement and see if I can get clearer answers. The infomation my parents were given when adopting me is completely different to Sr Sarto's version of events, but I understand that's commonplace.
Cheers again

Unfortunately Sr. Sarto was rather infamous for her liberal interpretation of the truth. Do not assume anything is accurate- until you have collaborated it elsewhere.

kathy finn · 12-05-2009 5:06pm

hi maybe you should contact bessboro again sr sarto is no longer their, sr mary is who you would be dealing with now.
she was very nice to me last year when i went for a look round.
give her a ring, as shane said sr sarto was known for bending the thruth...kathy

dorisoak · 12-05-2009 9:40pm

Thanks Kathy. Sr Sarto's attitude was puzzling and to be honest a little unkind. At least now I know it wasn't just me!!! Here's hoping Sr Mary is more straightward.

shezzie · 12-05-2009 10:19pm

hey - im shezzie posted bout 2 months ago was told few days ago that basically my birth mother doesnt want any contact - hurts alot - i have a brother and two sisters from her family (they dont know bout me ) and my birth father was married at time and didnt wanna know my birth mother till i was adopted out.

through my own search i have found my birth cert - my birth mothers birthcert and her sisters - her parents marriage cert and my birth grandfathers death cert and bm sister death cert

the nun from the agency also told me my aunt had adopted out her first child too but kept her 2nd though when she died my birth mother took in that second child aswell as raised her other 3. when the aunts second child searched for family my birth mother helped the agency and set up for the 2 brothers to meet up. though she never mentioned bout me -

am having trouble finding out her marriage name - i fully respect her decision not to meet and have no intention of just turning up on her doorstep but would love to know even the name and date of births of my siblings - just to have the information is good and enough for me -

am not going to say any of it hasnt been hurtful or hindered my life though finding out the above certs and the bit of info i can get from these is a help to understanding - the nun from the agency says she will contact my birth cousins and see if they want contact i pray to god they will as especially the guy who was adopted out should understand the need to meet and understand etc

anyway i am probably waffling - am just so sad and hurt

- and kinda feel like someones bad little secret as birth mother only told her sister who is dead now and the birth father who never wanted to know..

anyways waffle over

best to everyone who is searching i hope you find what ye are all looking for

Merrilady · 23-06-2009 3:26pm

Hi

I am 33 and myself and my husband are waiting to be assesed with the HSE for Inter-country adoption. We have been on the waiting list for 2 years.

Looking forward to reading this thread

g5 · 25-06-2009 7:40pm

Hi.I am 41 female and in the process of tracing my birth Mum.
Im new to all this,,forum and tracing,I posted a thread today and hope I didnt offend anyone as I didnt know I had to introduce myself...

g5 · 25-06-2009 7:46pm

shezzie wrote: »

hey - im shezzie posted bout 2 months ago was told few days ago that basically my birth mother doesnt want any contact - hurts alot - i have a brother and two sisters from her family (they dont know bout me ) and my birth father was married at time and didnt wanna know my birth mother till i was adopted out.

through my own search i have found my birth cert - my birth mothers birthcert and her sisters - her parents marriage cert and my birth grandfathers death cert and bm sister death cert

the nun from the agency also told me my aunt had adopted out her first child too but kept her 2nd though when she died my birth mother took in that second child aswell as raised her other 3. when the aunts second child searched for family my birth mother helped the agency and set up for the 2 brothers to meet up. though she never mentioned bout me -

am having trouble finding out her marriage name - i fully respect her decision not to meet and have no intention of just turning up on her doorstep but would love to know even the name and date of births of my siblings - just to have the information is good and enough for me -

am not going to say any of it hasnt been hurtful or hindered my life though finding out the above certs and the bit of info i can get from these is a help to understanding - the nun from the agency says she will contact my birth cousins and see if they want contact i pray to god they will as especially the guy who was adopted out should understand the need to meet and understand etc

anyway i am probably waffling - am just so sad and hurt - and kinda feel like someones bad little secret as birth mother only told her sister who is dead now and the birth father who never wanted to know..

anyways waffle over

best to everyone who is searching i hope you find what ye are all looking for

Hi sorry to hear that,my bm told no.one either and has been contacted recently,said she was my mum,and as the only one that knows about me was my birth dad,may now retreat,and its so many mixed emotions,cause Im nice etc and worth meeting..And I cant explain the hurt..

Little_L · 26-06-2009 7:11pm

kittenkiller wrote: »

Hi,

I'm 24 and although I've often wondered about my birth-relatives, I've never followed through and tried to find any of them.
I seem to be relying on "the right time" to start looking.
I figure when I'm ready I'll just know and start then.

I'm 24 and adopted as well. I feel the same, that I am waiting for "the right time", I always feel like I want to accomplish more before I make any contact. "The right time" keeps getting further and further away. I'm also afraid of not being wanted and interfering in somebody's life with my presence.

modest_marie · 04-08-2009 4:57pm

Hi, I'm 28, and am adopted. I have met my Birth Monther a couple of times as she is my non Bio Mothers First Cousin. I have never spoken to her re me being her daughter, although in the past she has asked if I know about being adopted. I have 1 brother and 1 stster that I live with and they don't know I'm adopted. My Birth Mother also has 4 sons and is married to someone else and I don't think they know about me.
I would love to talk to her and see who she really is, see what interests her etc, really talk to her and maybe help find out who I am... But I am scared too of hurting my Brother, Sister and my Parents... I do not know who my Biological Father is.

martinf · 04-08-2009 5:17pm

Hi Marie, The fear of hurting others isn't uncommon when it comes to search and reunion. Even though my parents were very supportive as long as I can remember I still didn't tell them I was searching until I had something to tell them. How did you find out who your birth mother is - were you told or did you find out some other way? Do you have any other information? The chances are that once the questions start to pop into your mind they won't go away too easily. Curiousity is a great driver.

Best wishes

Martin

modest_marie · 04-08-2009 5:48pm

Hi Martin,

I found an adoption certificate some years ago, and I asked my Mother then and she explained what she knew. Since I was only 16 at the time I never wanted to do anymore about it.

In recent years I just feel that my life needs to know and help to find out who I am. I hadn't wanted to contact my Birth Mother in this way, until recent years, as I didn't want to hurt my Parents or my Brother/Sister, and I had no need since I've had a very happy childhood. But now curiosity about who I am, as I wonder what career I should take, where my aptitudes lie etc are screaming at me to find out more. Maybe fear of rejection is slightly there, but I would deal with that as I have a very loving family. I feel that I have been painted a picture of my Birth Mother in such a way so I should not like her (which is understandable, considering I have seen her through years of growing up), but I want to find out for myself what she is really like. My non Biological Mother has asked that I don't tell my Dad nor my Brother and Sister, to avoid them being hurt. But I am an open Person and feel that it would be best out in the open. I haven't pushed this as I'm not sure really what the normal way to go about things is... tell my family first, or approach my Birth Mother first. I just want to do the right thing by everyone....

The_Conductor · 04-08-2009 5:57pm

modest_marie wrote: »

I just want to do the right thing by everyone....

Hi Marie- you have to remember that you also owe it to yourself- to do what is right for you.

Fear of hurting others should not dissuade you from deciding to take a particular course of action- and to be perfectly honest- it was unfair of your Mum to request you say nothing to the others.

Curiosity is a natural human trait- but so too is a natural urge to find out more about who we are as people. You cannot sacrifice the right of self knowledge for fear of what it may do to others.

Totally aside from taking any action at all- I'd suggest sitting down and reading other people's experiences (Betty Jean Lifton's books detailing her experiences are very good).

Best wishes,

Shane

modest_marie · 04-08-2009 6:04pm

Yes I can see that it was completely unfair of her to ask me that, but I can also see that she only asked out of concern for the others.

You are right, sometimes I am guilty of thinking of others toooo much before thinking of myself :-)

Thanks for the great advice, and those books sound like they would be a good read. I'll keep you updated, and someday soon hopefully I'll get the courage to address the situation.

rose1 · 04-08-2009 10:16pm

Hi,

I'M 27 AND ADOPTED, I LOVE MY MAM AND DAD TO BITS BUT I ALWAYS WANTED TO FIND MY BIRTH MOTHER ESPECIALLY WHEN I HAD MY OWN SON BUT SOMETIMES I FEEL REALLY GUILTY ABOUT IT, I HAVE BEEN IN TOUCH WITH THE ADOPTION AGENCY BUT TO BE HONEST I DONT FIND THEM VERY HELPFULL.IT'S GREAT TO KNOW THAT I'M NOT ALONE:)

gfmason · 05-08-2009 12:14pm

Hi,

I am 43 years old and was adopted from St. Patricks Nursing Home, Navan Road when I was two months old. I have, over the last number of years, tried to trace my birth mother. She was contacted, via a Social Worker, but she refused to make contact a few years ago. I have finally found out where she came from but that is all at the moment. I am actively following all leads. I would dearly love to meet with her, even if it is only a one-off. There are so many questions I would love to ask her.

Anyway, I am new to this forum and do not really know how it operates. Any help would be appreciated.

grainne

tyview · 07-08-2009 6:40pm

Hi, I'm 27 and I'm adopted since birth. I have grown up with a brilliant adopted family, my sis is adopted too. we have always known we were adopted and my mom kept as much info as she could on both of our adoptions, pretty much all the non-identifiable info i think, which is great. both of my parents have always been very open about it as I've already said but my mom used to try and talk to me about it. I never felt comfortable with it though. I just wanted my family to think I had blocked it out but on the inside it always ate me up. I can't even think about it without getting really emothional about it.
I first started the trace about 7 years ago by ringing the adoption board (my adoption agency has since closed) and they took all the details etc. didn;t hear anything back. Then the contact preference register came out and I sent that info back to them. Still nothing. Then last year got a letter from the HSE saying that they had my request for a trace and wanted to know if I was still wanting to go ahead so I rang the social worker straight away. she was nice but said it would be a long wait. I'm now fed up waiting for what seems like nothing and I'm seriously considering going into the research room to try and find my birth cert. (sorry to go on!) I've read all the threads on here and loads of other website, think I'm getting a bit obsessed with looking for info now. My husband can't understand why I need to know where I come from considering I have a great family, but he's not adopted so I don't expect him to get it. He is supporting me though but I'm really worried about my birth family. I don't want to tell them cos it would be too emotional for all involved.
I know I've gone on and thanks for listening...

kathy finn · 08-08-2009 8:14am

hi, i know how u feel, i was on a waiting list for 3 years before i was allocated a social worker to start my trace, i decided to do my own trace while i was waiting , my trace was unsuccessful because my mothers name was very common.
some people find it easy to find their birthmother and you could be one of the lucky ones, your first step is to get your own birthcert and take it from their , youve got nothing to lose....kathy

jigsaw07 · 07-10-2009 6:11pm

Hey guys,

Im 26 years old. I was fostered at 8 weeks old and was placed with my adoptive parents on Dec 1983.
About 5 years ago i decided that i would like information on my birth parents, so i rang Adoption committte and started the ball rolling, about a year later i was called back into the regional adoption committe and was given a letter of backround information on my parents. I only got their first names, their age when i was born, their jobs, hobbies and interests and a general idea of what they looked like, where i was born, where i was christened, it even said what date i got my BCG on.
So last week i decided to take it a step further and start a trace on them both, my mother more so that my father. Having a child of my own made me want to start this off.
SO i was wondering what happens with a trace, will they give me more info on them..etc.
Or could i do it myself? Iwouldn know where to start, like finding my orginal birth cert and things like that.

I would be very thankful for help/advice on this. thanks

kathy finn · 08-10-2009 11:41am

hi,
first of all have a look on the adoption ireland tracing guides on this forum.
you can ask your agency to start a trace for u, sometimes you are put on a waiting list and it can be a very long wait.
while your waiting you can start your own search, firstly you will have to make a trip to the records office in the irish life mall in dublin and get a copy of your original birth cert since u have so much info it sould be easy enough, your birhmothers surname will be on your birthcert.
if i was you i would print out the tracing guides and take them with u.
good luck and if your unable to get to dublin please pm me and i would be happy to help....kathy

Tenderloins1 · 20-10-2009 4:55pm

I'm 40 and adopted, the only member of my family to be adopted. Yet it was that difference that made me what I am, my parents and siblings all looked out and after me.
I couldn't have had a happier upbringing and am a long time married with a couple of beautiful children.
I got very sick 15 years ago and intended tracing my birth mother at the time but around the same time my Father passed on, so i'd enough on my plate. That said my mother was very encouraging for me to look.
Between one thing and another I have never bothered.
I'm happy and having my own wife and young family it would be a lot to put on them, especially if it were not to work out well.
I'm there on the register should someone wish to contact me.

The closest I've come was when I was getting married and I found myself in the same room as my proper Bamptismal(or Birth) Cert which had my natural mothers name on it. It was the strangest feeling...

maryjmul · 29-10-2009 1:35am

Kolodny wrote: »

Hi

my brother had 2 kids with the same girl when he was 16,the second child a girl went for adoption,at the time we were told the baby had died but now we know she was adopted the hardest thing for that young girl that her parents are still together today so cu;d someone please help me out as i love l my family and want to help neice when she wants answers and im really looking forward to her first visit she will soon be 18 and i hope she wants to know her bio family ,and a great big ty to her adoptive famly who made her the person she is today hi baby louise

Johner · 25-01-2010 12:32am

Hi,

I turned 21 last week and am adopted since birth. I have 2 sisters that are also adopted, one from the same birth mother as me. I recently found out that my birth mother does not want to be contacted, mixed feeling really but to be honest it doesn't bother me to much really. She was 16 when she had me. I love the family I'm with now so much and coudn't have a better family. The last few years have been tough for me but I'm doing ok now.

MaryMagdalene · 25-01-2010 10:39am

Hi Johner

Sorry about your birth mother - sounds like its her loss but delighted you are so happy with your family and at peace within yourself now.

Congrats on turning 21 - wish I was that young again

.

"My interest is in the future because I am going to spend the rest of my life there." by Charles F. Kettering, US electrical engineer & inventor (1876 - 1958)

Johner · 27-01-2010 3:18pm

Thank you Mary.

lorraine72 · 30-01-2010 2:15am

Hi i am 37 and was adopted from St Patricks mother and Baby home Navan road Dublin in early 1973. My birth mothers name was Geraldine and as far as i know she was from Meath or Westmeath. She was 16 or 17 when sshe had me in st J ames's Hospital Dublin. If anyone could help me find some more information i would be very gratefull thanks..

kathy finn · 30-01-2010 10:25am

hi lorraine,
have u got ur original birthcert, that would be the first place to start.
have a look at the tracing guides in the thread, another option is to contact the hse im not sure which area has the navan road records but the adoption board website will be able to help with that, ring them and ask them to do a search on ur behalf....good luck kathy
p.s ar u on the contact register, if not u can download a form on the adoption board website..

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