Trying to conceive/Planned parenthood/Assisted Reproduction Chat thread.

teddy12 · 18-12-2010 12:26pm

Hi ladies, mind if i join yas?

I have been following your thread recently and just decided to post today.

Caprilicious - I am in the same position as you, I am about 5 days late, one negative cb pregnancy test and no sign of af! I am really confused becuase this has never happened to me before and my cycles are usually grand and regular. I was convinced a few days ago that I was preg because I was feeling nauseous and lightheaded and heightened sense of smell but they seemed to have eased slightly and I am now more confused than ever.

Best of luck to the rest of yas ttc!!

Neyite · 18-12-2010 3:33pm

Hi Teddy12, Welcome

some tests -even the good ones, can show up a negative result when you are in fact pregnant, hasnt happened to me, since I've never got prengant or felt pregnant yet but there are plenty on this thread that have had many negative tests only to find that a week or so later what they were feeling was right.

But I'm guilty of feeling every twinge, or every time I stand up suddenly and feel lightheaded as a Sign. I have to remind myself that before I started monitoring my body in TTC mode, probably these symptoms were came and went without me batting an eyelid.

test again in another few days, maybe?

dublinlady · 18-12-2010 8:35pm

Welcome teddy - best of luck with this month, i hopw u get a positive soon, its ver frustrating when ur cycle starts to act up!

I am p*ssed off....brown cm back today..which means two things, first that my af will be here in next day or 2 , and second that my cycle is STILL not back to normal after m/c. This is my 4th af since m/c and my 9th month trying (not alot by everyones standards i know, but it feels like forever to me). theres nothing to say, i feel like such a failure. it gets me down so bad at this time of the month, i stll just miss my baby and dread the thought of spending this christmas not pregnant. i also hate having to tell my husband the bad news every month, i can tell its getting him down too. i know ill be fine again and completely positive in a few days, but for now a few tears and lots of self pity are all im able for,
will be back when have something more positive to contribute, but as always, thanks for listening, x

caprilicious · 19-12-2010 9:42pm

Welcome on board Teddy12

Well ladies I won't be taking the maternity jeans out of retirement just yet, Aunt Flo paid a visit 3 days ago.

Dublinlady, its frustrating the way the cycle takes so long to settle down, isn't it?
Please don't beat yourself up over it, you're not a failure at all, your baby just isn't ready yet but hopefully soon x

I was using the opk sticks to test for ovulation last month; is there another effective method? Or are those ovulation monitors worthwhile/effective?
I'm on a mission this month!

CathyMoran · 19-12-2010 9:47pm

caprilicious wrote: »

Welcome on board Teddy12

Well ladies I won't be taking the maternity jeans out of retirement just yet, Aunt Flo paid a visit 3 days ago.

Dublinlady, its frustrating the way the cycle takes so long to settle down, isn't it?
Please don't beat yourself up over it, you're not a failure at all, your baby just isn't ready yet but hopefully soon x

I was using the opk sticks to test for ovulation last month; is there another effective method? Or are those ovulation monitors worthwhile/effective?
I'm on a mission this month!

Best wishes for this month!

Jinxi · 27-12-2010 3:36pm

So its been a bit of a mental christmas. Been weeping at all the xmas movies, fighting with my OH over the most mundane things, sore boobs. But my period is due 29th so I out it all down to being pre- menstral. Esp since our "not NOT trying to concieve" was particularly lax this month as OH has had very bad tooth ache(and not in the mood as a result).
So imagine my shock and horror and DELIGHT to get a nice pair of pink lines for xmas.

:D:D:D:D:D
I wouldn't have even done the test if I didn't have a spare one and I hadn't felt queasy after a shockingly small amount of wine.(if i had known it would be the last for a while I would have savoured it a bit more)
When I showed other half he congratulated me like a flippin work collegue and we couldn't stop giggling like kids.

So what the hell is the protocal now?

Neyite · 27-12-2010 4:51pm

Jinxi wrote: »

So its been a bit of a mental christmas. Been weeping at all the xmas movies, fighting with my OH over the most mundane things, sore boobs. But my period is due 29th so I out it all down to being pre- menstral. Esp since our "not NOT trying to concieve" was particularly lax this month as OH has had very bad tooth ache(and not in the mood as a result).
So imagine my shock and horror and DELIGHT to get a nice pair of pink lines for xmas. :D:D:D:D:D
I wouldn't have even done the test if I didn't have a spare one and I hadn't felt queasy after a shockingly small amount of wine.(if i had known it would be the last for a while I would have savoured it a bit more)
When I showed other half he congratulated me like a flippin work collegue and we couldn't stop giggling like kids.

So what the hell is the protocal now?

YAY!!!!!

Big Congrats to you Jinxi. What a great Chrsitmas Present for you both.
Wishing you a happy and safe pregnancy.

dublinlady · 28-12-2010 11:00pm

Huge congrats jinx!!!

you must be so delighted and excited! It's the perfect start to the new year!! Health and happiness to u and ur little one!! X

caprilicious · 28-12-2010 11:39pm

COngratulations Jinxi!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I'm absolutely delighted for you!!!

What a fantastic Christmas present to get for you and your partner.
I hope you have a happy & healthy pregnancy!

I felt the same when I got my positive result for my little lady last year. After the 'OMG I'm pregnant, Yay' was the 'Now what?'!

I went straight to my gp to have it confirmed, after that it was a bit of an anti climax, it was too soon to tell anyone, and I didn't feel/look pregnant, it all felt a little surreal.
Make the most of this time where its just you and your partner that know (and us

)
Once the rest of the family/friends know I think it made the time pass so slowly!

Jinxi · 29-12-2010 12:25am

Caprilicious, thats exactly how I feel. I love having it a secret that only my partner and I know, but I want to shout it from the roof tops.
I took another test today just to make sure and it was a bit of a let down. The first was a first response, this one was a tescos own brand(gota start watching the pennies now). The second line was was a no show(a tiny residue of a line is about all)
Will wait till the mrning and try again. Will see gp in the new year. Its so great to have the boards gals to share stuff with.

THANKS EVERYONE FOR YOUR STORIES. kEEP UP THE FAITH

caprilicious · 29-12-2010 12:47am

As far as I understand it, there's no such thing as a false positive, so the original positive still stands

I think the cheaper the tests, the less accurate they are unfortunately.

I kept expecting to feel different, to feel pregnant but didn't feel anything different...roll on a few weeks when the morning sickness kicked in

felt very pregnant then!

Hopefully, with a bit of luck a few more of us will be joining you in the near future in the pregnancy forum

Neyite · 29-12-2010 1:56am

caprilicious wrote: »

Hopefully, with a bit of luck a few more of us will be joining you in the near future in the pregnancy forum

Amen to that

I'm on the Parlodel (strictly speaking not a fertility med, but in a roundabout way it is) for a few weeks now, thankfully no side effects. I got a positive OPK on 23rd and Ovulation twinges on both sides too, so I'm hoping its the kick-start from the meds.

dublinlady · 01-01-2011 11:14pm

Best of luck neyite! Fingers crossed for everyone! New year... New starts all round!

DetectivFoxtrot · 02-01-2011 9:47pm

Hi All

new year, new start, new outlook! Have been majorly depressed over the last month, but that's to be expected what with dad's passing.

I am now on to my 5th cycle with Clomid. I am not happy, I really though I'd be pg by now, we are 19 months trying (15 cycles). Christmas eve was my test date and I really wanted a postive test to wrap under the tree for my partner....
The Clomid has totally dried up my mucous (sorry tmi) and has also made my Luteal Phase a bit longer (15/16 days). My last cycle ran over by 5 days but I'm putting that down to stress. Clomid works for many people but not for me it seems. I have one more Clomid cycle to go after this (the script is for 6 cycles), and then I presume it's onto 'Plan B'. I think that will involve getting my tubes checked for blockages and then maybe triggers and/or injects... ?yipee...

Have any of you gotten your tubes checked before? Does it hurt?

Anyway, babydust to all, may 2011 be our year!

caprilicious · 02-01-2011 10:42pm

DetectivFoxtrot, this must have been a very difficult Christmas for you and your family, I hope you're ok x

I can't answer about the future tests you will have I'm afraid, but I want to say that I hope all works well and that 2011 will be your year to get your positive test result

Neyite · 03-01-2011 4:26pm

DetectivFoxtrot wrote: »

Hi All

new year, new start, new outlook! Have been majorly depressed over the last month, but that's to be expected what with dad's passing.

I am now on to my 5th cycle with Clomid. I am not happy, I really though I'd be pg by now, we are 19 months trying (15 cycles). Christmas eve was my test date and I really wanted a postive test to wrap under the tree for my partner....
The Clomid has totally dried up my mucous (sorry tmi) and has also made my Luteal Phase a bit longer (15/16 days). My last cycle ran over by 5 days but I'm putting that down to stress. Clomid works for many people but not for me it seems. I have one more Clomid cycle to go after this (the script is for 6 cycles), and then I presume it's onto 'Plan B'. I think that will involve getting my tubes checked for blockages and then maybe triggers and/or injects... ?yipee...

Have any of you gotten your tubes checked before? Does it hurt?

Anyway, babydust to all, may 2011 be our year!

Ive had my tubes checked - its a Hysterosalpingography, (HSG) Xray.
It takes place in the xray dept, with a female doc and female radiographer. You ring them on CD1, as you have to have it before CD7. You must absolutly not be pregnant, as they inject a dye- I had mine on CD7, and i took a good preg test on the morning of it.

You put on a gown - I kept my sweater on under it, but took off the bra. you are naked from the waist down. Keep the socks on if you like.

You lie on the table, Knees to the ceiling and let legs fall to the side. They dialiate you, and insert a catheter, (just like a smear to this point) The dye is then pushed in. You have to remember not to cover your tum with your hands for the xray, as its instinctive.

I'm not gonna lie, it can hurt, some women think it was grand, others say that it was the worst pain in the world. I'm kind of in the middle - I took 2 neurofen plus beforehand- when the dye is forced in, its like a very bad period cramp, just a bit more intense - but its over in seconds. After mine, I felt a bit shaky, and was very pale after it but had a cup of tea in the coffee shop before driving home. Bring a sanitary towel in with you to your xray - the ones they give you are the massive Dr. White type, and the minute you sit up the dye will run out so have it ready with your ST and undies to put on again.

they were able to tell me on the day that it looked good, and there does seem to be suggestions that fertility is increased for a couple of months after getting one as very small blockages that would not show get swept away by the dye.

Give me a shout if you have any questions.

DetectivFoxtrot · 03-01-2011 7:32pm

you're a star Neyite, thanks for the comprehensive answer.

Will be seeking a HSG if I'm not pregnant by Clomid cycle 6

barbiegirl · 04-01-2011 11:51am

Huge congratulations Jinxi absolutely delighted for you.

DetectivFoxtrot all I can do is wish that 2011 brings you all you desire.
As to me I'm just going to stay positive, still not fully sorted after last miscarriage, hCG levels still sticking at 60 which is thankfully too low to be a major issue like a molar pregnancy, but until it returns to 0 I can't start again. There is some talk of another op where the surgeon will go in with a camera to see if it is either some stubborn tissue or a fibroid causing all the trouble, hopefully I'll hear more this week and know what the plan is.
Lets just put a huge positive vibe out to the universe for our much wanted babies.

DetectivFoxtrot · 04-01-2011 8:20pm

barbiegirl wrote: »

Lets just put a huge positive vibe out to the universe for our much wanted babies.

+1

dublinlady · 04-01-2011 10:40pm

DetectivFoxtrot wrote: »

+1

+ 2!!

caprilicious · 05-01-2011 12:19am

Hi all,

Can I ask has anyone here used the Clearblue Digital Ovulation Testing Kit - 7 Pack. Are they any good?
I have been using the cheapo dip sticks for ovulation testing, but in 3 months using them have not got more than a very feint line.
I want something a little more accurate.

Any here's for the silly question

I can't make out, is there only enough of these tests included for one months use(ie, use one a day for 7 days til you pinpoint when you're ovulating?), or do you use one of these tests a month, & each month it pinpoints when you're ovulating?

I had a very feint positive line on an ovulation test a week ago, but I'm convinced I'm ovulating today, even though I'm on day 18 of my cycle. I would've thought that was a bit late in the cycle to ovulate?

Here's the tmi bit..I have egg white consistency discharge & earlier had mild cramps in my ovaries.
Time to take advantage of the other half maybe??

crazy cat lady · 05-01-2011 9:22am

If all the signs suggest you might be ovulating, go get jiggy!

Don't forget your cycle has been a little longer recently so maybe you are ovulating a bit later,

Fingers crossed you you

Quins5 · 05-01-2011 9:32pm

Hi everybody,
I came on to boards when I found out I was pregnant in November

and it was great to chat to people and ask loads of questions but unfortunately we had a natural miscarriage at 7.5wks on Nov 30th and we are absolutely devastated. (very little cramping and only bled for 2/3 days)

Diagnosed with PCOS in September and so had an appointment with fertility Dr in november but cancelled when we found out our great news...

After the miscarriage I contacted them again and have new appointment in 2 weeks time.

Anyway my point is, Im still waiting for AF (day35 since mc

) so that I can get bloods taken for CD 2,3 or 4, and I obviously wont get CD21 at this stage...

I HATE WAITING. What will I do if it doesnt come in time? should I still go to the appointment? the receptionist said I should push back the apt if AF hasnt come but to me thats the whole reason Im going to him! I have been completely irregular for over a year now so I culd be waiting for months for AF!

Also My DH had SA done yesterday and we found out today that he has a count of approx 10milion instead of 20million... but the doc said everything else was good just the count was low. Has anyone else had similar results and if so what did ye do? Poor hubby a bit deflated I think

Sorry for going on a bit but sooo many questions!

If anyone has any advice or success stories please let me kno

Thanks for listening

crazy cat lady · 05-01-2011 10:05pm

It took 8 weeks to get my period after both of my mc's. Your af won't return until your hcg levels are zero and then your cycle might still take a littlw while to get back to normal (whatever normal may be!)

I'd go to the appt, if nothing else they may do a BHcG blood test to make sure that your levels have dropped. At least you can discuss your history etc.. and maybe make a plan of action. This will hopefully make you feel a bit positive

I'm sorry about your mc, I know how truly devastating it is

Pg 2011 will bring bundles of joy to everyone TTC

dublinlady · 05-01-2011 10:09pm

caprilicious wrote: »

Hi all,

Can I ask has anyone here used the Clearblue Digital Ovulation Testing Kit - 7 Pack. Are they any good?
I have been using the cheapo dip sticks for ovulation testing, but in 3 months using them have not got more than a very feint line.
I want something a little more accurate.

Any here's for the silly question I can't make out, is there only enough of these tests included for one months use(ie, use one a day for 7 days til you pinpoint when you're ovulating?), or do you use one of these tests a month, & each month it pinpoints when you're ovulating?

I had a very feint positive line on an ovulation test a week ago, but I'm convinced I'm ovulating today, even though I'm on day 18 of my cycle. I would've thought that was a bit late in the cycle to ovulate?

Here's the tmi bit..I have egg white consistency discharge & earlier had mild cramps in my ovaries.
Time to take advantage of the other half maybe??

Hey!
no such thing as a stupid qn on here! The clearblue ovulation test box contains 7 single use sticks, one for each day leading up to expected ovulation, i used them a couple of cycles ago and found them good, u basically get a circle if negative and then a smiley face if positive. I have since given up on these kits as i found it put too much pressure on us, it kinda forces u to focus on it, and i need help trying to stop myself to focus on it!! hope that helps.... baby dust! im on day 18 and have def given it my best effort this month;):D;)

QUin, im sorry to hear about ur loss, its very difficult. I had one at almost 7 weeks back in August and it took a while for my period to get back to normal, im sorry im no help as my cycle was v.regular beforehand and only really was back to normal last month..im now 5 months on and still have my fingers and toes crossed! In March ill be almost a yr tryin and so then will go to try and get help. holding out until then. Wish you all the best with your journey...its certainly not always an easy one.

Hows anyone else doin with their cycles this month? im optomistic...very very dangerous.... but....and seriously this is waaaay t.m.i.....the month i conceived last time i had loads of cm and really enjoyed the BD more than normal:D, this is the first month where my drive is fully back, cm is a plenty and really lovin it:D. well if nothing else i suppose at least i have that!:p

Neyite · 05-01-2011 10:58pm

Quins5 wrote: »

Hi everybody,
I came on to boards when I found out I was pregnant in November and it was great to chat to people and ask loads of questions but unfortunately we had a natural miscarriage at 7.5wks on Nov 30th and we are absolutely devastated. (very little cramping and only bled for 2/3 days)

Diagnosed with PCOS in September and so had an appointment with fertility Dr in november but cancelled when we found out our great news...

After the miscarriage I contacted them again and have new appointment in 2 weeks time.

Anyway my point is, Im still waiting for AF (day35 since mc ) so that I can get bloods taken for CD 2,3 or 4, and I obviously wont get CD21 at this stage...

I HATE WAITING. What will I do if it doesnt come in time? should I still go to the appointment? the receptionist said I should push back the apt if AF hasnt come but to me thats the whole reason Im going to him! I have been completely irregular for over a year now so I culd be waiting for months for AF!

Also My DH had SA done yesterday and we found out today that he has a count of approx 10milion instead of 20million... but the doc said everything else was good just the count was low. Has anyone else had similar results and if so what did ye do? Poor hubby a bit deflated I think

Sorry for going on a bit but sooo many questions!

If anyone has any advice or success stories please let me kno

Thanks for listening

Quin, so sorry to hear about your m/c, and I hope you are soon back on the road to recovery.

With regard to the low sperm count, I have read on some forum somewhere, that with adding in proper fruit & veggies,exercise as well as zinc or other supplements, cutting out hot baths, alcohol, and smoking can help increase sperm count. Check out a few pregnancy forums - I think that the list of things are fairly standard. Get him on a sperm boot camp.:p, and hopefully when you are physically ready to try again, his count might have risen a bit.

caprilicious · 05-01-2011 11:38pm

Thanks for the replies ladies

In the end I found one of the cheapo ovulation testing kits & it read negative, so conserved my energy for watching Greys Anatomy instead

:D

Thanks for the info on the clearblue's Dublinlady, they're doing them on special offer in Tesco this week so I may as well get a pack and try them out

You're dead right, may as well enjoy the trying part of conceiving

Quins5, welcome on board. I'm very sorry for your loss.
I know exactly what you mean about the waiting, its the part I hate the most too.
I was convinced I'd be pregnant by now & its frustrating each month when Aunt Flo pays a visit :rolleyes:
Be kind to yourself though & give yourself time to come to terms with your loss.

LegacyUser · 06-01-2011 2:25am

Hi,
I am new to this and I am looking to see if someone can help sorry i dont have the patients to read 29 pages of messages ...

Basically me and my husband have been ttc for a year without any success but I have just recently got my bloods done for 3 and 21 and he got semen test through my GP.

Anyway what i am looking to find out is what to expect on my first visit to the gynecologist as i am terrified ??

Thanks

Habhann35 · 06-01-2011 2:39am

Hi
I am new to this and was just looking for some help

My husband and I have been TTC for a year now with no joy and recently I got my bloods done (day 3 & 21) and he got a semen test by our GP.

What i am looking to find out is does anyone know what happens on your first visit to the gynecologist as i am terrified of doctors.

Thanks

barbiegirl · 06-01-2011 10:19am

Don't be scared it's not bad. You'll have to bring a your results plus they may want to do some more before the visit, then you'll literally just talk through your issues and options. You may get an internal scan, you may not, but with all the doctors I've seen, that's about 8 they've all be lovely.

DetectivFoxtrot · 06-01-2011 10:17pm

Cap it sounds very much like to me that you are ovulating. Day 18 is not too late at all. For a variety of reasons ovulation can be delayed, don't worry

.

Re the Clear Blue digital tests, these are good but are pricey (although I buy mine on eBay, never in the pharmacy) and they can also be too sensitive, i.e. once I got 4 positives 4 days in a row, the cheapies were only positive for one of those days. A surge would not last 4 days. My trick now is I use the internet cheapies everyday, (for me that's from about Day 12 to day 20, as I have long cycles even on the Clomid) and when I feel it is coming up to O day (I'll know by my ovary pain, mucous, sex drive), and when the internet cheapies are getting a bit darker, I then use the digi's, as well, as a back up. That way I only use one or two digi's a month so I get better value out of a 7 pack. Hope this helps.

Quin, welcome, so sorry for your loss (((hugs))). As a pp said there are ways a man can boost his count, I'd also recommned getting him the Pregnacare supplement (for men). I know this is easy for me to say, but you know you can get pregnant naturally, and that is so brilliant, I know it might take a while to get pregnant again, and I know you're worried about the low sperm count, but even with the low count your OH obviously has strong swimmers, so count isn't everything. I know all too well about the wating game and just wanting to be preg 'right now' lol (I'm 19 months at it), so my heart goes out to you. Try and keep the faith, we're here to support you whenever you need it!

Habhann, welcome. I was referred to the HARI clinic (in the Rotunda Dublin), you can see my separate thread on it in this forum. Basically the first meet will be a chat about your history (not just your reproductive history, it's broader than that). If you chart your cycles bring this info along. Whether you can demonstrate to the gynae that your ovulating or not, the first rule of thumb they go by is that you are not ovulating properly, so they may prescribe an ovulation drug, like Clomid. They do this because they believe there's no point in jumping into invasive and pricey testing when all that may bee needed is a jump start of your ovaries. If there is still no progress (like with me) then they'll go on to step 2 like checking your tubes for blockages etc. They'd also want your OH to do a semen analysis, but again that would be scheduled for another day. You'll have to do a couple of blood tests, but you'll be called back for those, they won't be done on the first consult. I was waiting so long for my consultation that I felt it was a bit of an anti climax as we just chatted! I was just dying to start of the fertility drugs! And now they haven't worked (well not yet anyway!).
Again we're all here to support you if you have any questions or just want to rant. Let us know how you get on

Neyite · 06-01-2011 11:17pm

Habhann35 wrote: »

Hi
I am new to this and was just looking for some help

My husband and I have been TTC for a year now with no joy and recently I got my bloods done (day 3 & 21) and he got a semen test by our GP.

What i am looking to find out is does anyone know what happens on your first visit to the gynecologist as i am terrified of doctors.

Thanks

Welcome to the chat thread Habhann35, we are all in the same boat here.

your bloods are a more accurate way of checking you ovulated - the day 21 has some hormone levels that are higher if you are - think its progesterone, but I stand to be corrected on that.

My GP is also a Gynae, and all she has done is ask questions and as I was due a smear test, she did one. the fertility doc I was referred to did a transvaginal scan, which took less than 2 mins - I was so busy examining my innards on the screen when she was pointing them out, i forgot she had the camera thingy you-know-where.

. You are fully draped and almost sitting up, and you can bring your hubby to sit the other side of the curtain if you are nervous. You will be asked about your cycle, so the more information you have to give them the better idea they have of where next to take your treatment, or what they can rule out.

I dont think any of us really relish the thought of the doctors, but them helping us make our dreams come true will make it worth the while. Ive had a few more tests along the way and absolutely everybody along the way that have examined me have been so kind and reassuring to me.

let us know how it goes for you, good luck!

Quins5 · 07-01-2011 1:42am

Thanks u guys its great to get some feedback.

Im hoping il go in there and they'll give me a magic pill and il be pregnant by the end of February!

(how deluded am I?!

)

Fingers, toes, arms and eyes crossed for all of us for some sticky beans... not legs heehee!:D

tks!

CathyMoran · 07-01-2011 8:12am

Just one thing for you - I was using the digital ovulation predictor (was great for our son baby Shane as I got a smiley face), with this one I used it again...it turns out that my ovulation date was a lot later so the tests missed it. Even if the predictors do not work still have fun up until your period would be my experience but also still let it be fun (I know that it can get a chore, scary and upsetting when it does not seem to be working).

dublinlady · 09-01-2011 4:39pm

hey!
Two week wait driving me insane......!!! It really doesn't improve as the months go by no matter what ya do to try and distract urself!!!

On a side - I've steppped up my efforts in keeping with New yrs resolutions and have given up the drink, chocolate and sweeties! I figured it was a good opportunity to do it as alot of people do detox january and so shouldnt wonder about my motivation! Plus ive told everyone I've given up the drink until Paddys day, and the all saw me drinking on christmas day so know i wasnt preggers when i decided to do it.....heres hoping I will be and so it will act as a good cover rather than just an effort to ttc...;)

Anyway, hope ye all doin ok! x

Neyite · 10-01-2011 12:21am

Got my period yesterday, and it was the first time in the last 18 months of trying for a baby that I cried. So far, I've been upbeat and positive and optimistic, but just couldnt do it this time. I held it in because I was staying with my mum for the weekend, (and she has no idea I'm ttc) but all the way home on a 2 hr drive I cried, and I cried some more when I got in the door. I'm still holding back tears.

I feel so angry at my body not working. last night I woke up with menstrual cramps and didnt take anything for them even though I could not sleep with the pain. It was as if I deserved to hurt, as punishment. Stupid I know. I never was exactly a ray of sunshine on my period, but its way worse when the period is more than just a sore inconvenience, when it mean no baby, y'know?

I will be ok tomorrow, and believe that my meds will eventually sort everything out, but right now I just needed to let 18 months of disappointments out.

barbiegirl · 10-01-2011 9:50am

Sometimes Neyite you need the cry so feel free to do it, we all do. It is frustrating and heartbreaking when you feel that you can't do something that everyone else can. Just know you are not alone, we're all there with you. Big hugs

dublinlady · 10-01-2011 4:21pm

Im sorry Neyite, theres nothing anyone can say that will make it feel better, but as barbiegirl says at least know that we're always hear to listen and ur never on your own. I think the bloody baby boom from the recession isnt v. helpful either....theres babies everywhere...maybe thats just me noticing them more now, but every where i go there they are...a constant reminder. However the only thing that keeps me going is hope...but like you, when ur period arrives...it can be very difficult to find the hope. Your entitled to cry on those days...it is sad, and it is tough. After that you will find the strength to pick urself up and dust yourself off and start all over...cos thats what we do.:(;)

DetectivFoxtrot · 10-01-2011 7:56pm

(((big hugs))) Neyite, I know just how you feel. I think a cry makes us feel better so don't feel bad a bout it. I know what you mean about being angry at your body and think the feelings you are having are totally normal for someone in this position. It's such a limbo to be in. Take care of you XXX

Neyite · 10-01-2011 8:30pm

Hi Girls,

Thanks so much for your replies, I feel more positive today. I think part of the reason was that since I was at my mums and there were other family members there too, it was more of an effort to pretend all is grand, rather than just be moody for a bit and get over it after having a cry with the OH.

I have only told one sister, who is very discreet. She is great, only speaks about it if I bring it up first, and just listens, and is so reassuring. I cant tell my mother, because she simply cant keep a secret, bless her. She would be lighting candles, doing novenas, and telling me about articles she read that would 'help' me even though it would be unrelated to my ttc problem, she means well but would drive you nuts. She would also tell my sister who is a nurse, and seems to think that she is the worlds expert on everything medical - she is the kind who would ring up my GP behind my back to try to question my meds etc. A right nosy parker, tbh, but if she doesnt know, she cant interfere.;)

Thats why its so good to chat here - while each of us may have different medical issues, we are all feeling the same way every month. I'd be lost without this forum.

Thanks for all your hugs. Hugs to you all too.

dublinlady · 12-01-2011 10:45pm

cant stand it anymore....going to test tomorrow... for some reason again convinced im pregnant. will be gutted coming back on here again saying it was negative. but part of me is becoming hardened to the disappointment. tomorrow is day 26, period due on day 29. im 11 dpo tomorrow. when i was pregnant last time i got my positive on day 26, so i kinda feel that if i am it will show up tom, and if im not im not. im so nervous tho...cant believe this is still going on, i hate it...my life revolves around disappointment at the mo.

crazy cat lady · 12-01-2011 10:56pm

Fingers and toes crossed for you

Neyite · 12-01-2011 11:12pm

Ditto, Fingers crossed for ya Dublin Lady! Hope it brings the right result.

dublinlady · 13-01-2011 11:09am

Negative.....just have to wait for af to come now. I can't do this anymore, it's breaking my heart. Think will have to go to g.p for help, but what do they do? Any info gladly accepted! I've never felt so hollow and useless. My husband was v. Excited this time. No tears this month for a change, just dark sadness.

Queen of Sheebs · 13-01-2011 11:59am

I'm sorry that it was a negative but I think you're right about going to the doctor. Even if for no other reason than it will help you feel that you are being proactive and that the burden is not all on you. The feeling that someone else is helping really lifted the weight off me. I think I was more relaxed and ended up getting pregnant in the middle of all the blood tests that the doctor was running.
My GP was brilliant and so proactive and understanding. The first test she did was the bloods on day 3 and day 21 (I think). It turned out I hadn't ovulated that month. She repeated the bloods the following month to see if I was ovulating from the other ovary ( which I was!!). I was due to go back in for another round of test the next month to see if the previous month was a once off or if I wasn't ovulating from that ovary at all but I got pregnant!!
I really hadn't expected it and was way more relaxed. I just assummed that I would have to get through the blood tests and start on clomid.
I have to say though that the feeling that someone else was helping me was a huge relief. My husband was brilliant and taking his zinc etc trying to help as best he could but I really felt relieved after speaking to the doctor. I wish you the very best of luck on this journey.

barbiegirl · 13-01-2011 1:24pm

Hi Dublinlady, I'm sorry it was negative for you. Do go to the doctor, do get help. It could prove to be something very simple, or like me you could need more help. Best of luck and we will answer any questions you might have.

dublinlady · 13-01-2011 2:13pm

Thanks a mill for ur replies guys, so much for my not crying....havent stopped since i posted that!! Have to go into work shortly and am a bleedin mess so need to pull myself back together!! I made an appointment with the gp for monday, i really hope she is proactive like urs queen on sheebs! So are the blood tests to check if ur ovulating? And then clomid is to stimulate it if ur not? excuse my ignorance please cos really dont know much about this, need to start googling but afraid of getting wrong info! Also what happens if u are ovulating? where do you go from there with regards to tests, and will the gp refer me for this or do it herself?
Is it likely that the gp will start tests on this next cycle (monday will be day 1 or two)? is it fair for me to push her to?? Just want to know what to expect!
Sorry so many qns! More to come no doubt!
And im sorry that any of u had to go thru this...its horrible. I really wish you every happiness and health in pregnancy when you get there (or already for you queen of sheebs!!:D).

Queen of Sheebs · 13-01-2011 4:19pm

I know in my case, the doctor ran a number of blood tests and everything came back normal except for the one that determines ovulation ( and white blood cell count but that's unrelated!).
What she said to me when I went back for the second set of tests was that she was just rechecking the blood levels to see if they were a one off or if there was a need to stimulate ovulation using clomid. She also explained the plan she would put in place going forward if needed and that was that she would start me on clomid for 3 months if necessary (after second set of blood results came back)and refer me to a fertility clinic at the same time. She said that if I got pregnant in the mean time she would just cancel the fertility clinic appointment.
Thankfully and luckily, I didn't need any intervention and the blood result came back in normal ranges and then I found out I was pregnant.
If I were in your shoes and this is only my opinion I would ask your GP to carry out the blood tests, even if it is only to reassure yourself. As I said in my earlier post, the relief I felt knowing that the whole responsibility of gettting pregnant wasn't solely on my shoulders was brilliant. I'm convinced that I got pregnant because the pressure was off! Treat yourself at the weekend and look forward to Monday. It's a positive step on the road to getting pregnant! Take Care.

crazy cat lady · 13-01-2011 4:37pm

So sorry DL

Still keeping my fingers and toes crossed for you. Its not over til its over and af hasn't arrived yet!

DetectivFoxtrot · 13-01-2011 7:56pm

So sorry DL, it's heartbreaking when neg tests keep coming back. I would agree, go to your GP, it opened a whole new chapter for me, and finding out my progesterone was low (meaning weak / no ovulation) was good in one sense as we finally found out what the problem could be. With the referral to a specialist your OH gets checked out too and it's good to get that done to rule out (or address) any male issues.
I would also recommend charting if you are not doing so already. It's free on this website :http://www.fertilityfriend.com/
it's good to get to know your cycles and keep track of when you ovulated.
If you try it and don't like it then ditch it. Also you don't have to do the temperature taking to keep a chart, ovulation tests will do (I do temping around ovulation time - but it's not for everyone). What I love about it is that I can tell categorically every cycle if I've ovulated or not (using a combination of temping, ovulation tests, and body signs e.g. ovulation pain).
The website offers so much more than charting. There are also fertility 'lessons' that you can take and these will really educate you on the whole ttc business, and it's soooo interesting too.
I find that it helps to busy myself for what I'll do to get pregnant next cycle. If I didn't I know I would just wallow in the sadness of getting a negative test and I'm so sick of doing that.
So, over the next cycle you could:-
- go to your GP, get the ball rolling medically
- start charting
- start learning more about ttc and optimising your chances of conception
- get the book "Taking charge of Your Fertility" - it's truly brilliant (available on Amazon)

(((big hugs for you)))

Trying to conceive/Planned parenthood/Assisted Reproduction Chat thread.

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