"Man Up" campaign by SafeIreland

hots · 04-02-2020 1:12pm

com1 wrote: »

Interesting article with sources...

https://www.rte.ie/brainstorm/2020/0123/1110351-7-myths-about-domestic-violence/

That is actually very well sourced, really unusual to see RTE or similar going to that extent, would love to see that approach taken more.

hots · 04-02-2020 1:15pm

iptba wrote: »

https://www.bbc.com/news/uk-england-tees-51362733

I'm uncomfortable with the idea that people can stab someone to death when such force didn't seem required at that moment in time and receive no penalty.

I'd say the fact that he had beaten them that day and then threatened to kill them makes it enough for self-defense, not the most obvious case though as he was walking away at that moment in time. Either way he's very little loss anyway.

py2006 · 05-02-2020 1:39am

Die Hard 2019 · 05-02-2020 1:44am

hots wrote: »

I'd say the fact that he had beaten them that day and then threatened to kill them makes it enough for self-defense, not the most obvious case though as he was walking away at that moment in time. Either way he's very little loss anyway.

Self defence is about the moment, if a person is leaving they are not a threat but as was said **** him he deserved it.

silverharp · 05-02-2020 10:52pm

py2006 wrote: »

if someone had to deal with that level of crazy they would be advised to video everything and have a proper exit plan involving friends etc for corroboration. how many suicides will something like that have led to over the years?

iptba · 27-02-2020 2:12am

https://twitter.com/womens_aid/status/1232651736629874688?s=11

This showed up on my Twitter feed today. The website address is not gender neutral: only male abusers, it seems (so even excludes female victims in lesbian relationships). I suppose somewhat not surprising as it is Women's Aid, but this approach can reinforce stereotypes.

iptba · 07-03-2020 6:21pm

https://www.rte.ie/news/2020/0306/1120758-nevada-murder-suicide-irishwoman/

US police investigating a murder-suicide in Reno, Nevada have said they believe 53-year-old Irish woman Joan Huber had shot her husband and their two teenage children, before taking her own life.

Sad case but it does show that campaigns which only highlight femicide don't highlight all such crimes.

iptba · 12-03-2020 3:11am

iptba wrote: »

On the point of more males killing their partners or ex-partners, I just came across the following comment on the journal.ie

US Criminologists have been saying for decades not enough research is being done on women who kill their partners, they make the point that women hire people to do their bidding or coerce new partners to kill in sim,ilar numbers.

I must keep an eye out for data on that.

Bitter mother, 39, is guilty of asking three different men to murder her ex-husband after he won custody of their teenage daughter

Victoria Breeden tried to have Rob Parkes murdered three times in five years

The 39-year-old mother from Littleport, Cambridgeshire offered to pay £5,00

Breeden found guilty of three counts of soliciting to murder her ex husband

A bitter mum has been found guilty of trying to have her ex husband killed so she could win back custody of their daughter.

'The defendant was in a relationship with some of the men who she sought to help her with this deadly plan, others were just friends.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8100953/Cambridgeshire-woman-guilty-asking-three-different-men-murder-ex-husband.html

iptba · 13-03-2020 11:15pm

I was just looking at events cancelled due to the coronavirus. This one-sided event is one of them.

https://galway2020.ie/en/event/home-truths-exhibition/

Galway 2020 European Capital of Culture, Galway Domestic Violence Response and Engage Art Studios are delighted to present Home Truths.

Home Truths, as part of Galway 2020’s Small Towns Big Ideas programme, looks at women’s experience of and engagement with the Irish courts and legal system in dealing with domestic violence and abuse.

Artists Blaise Drummond, Evelyn Glynn, Alison Lowry, Áine Philips and Ruby Wallis have been commissioned to respond to women’s testimonies of their court experiences.

iptba · 17-03-2020 2:25pm

(Not important)
This very short video showed up in my Facebook feed today:
https://www.facebook.com/themetropolita4/videos/504188156964529

I suppose some people consider the behaviour of the woman okay because she had a reason to be annoyed, but I think if the man behaved in the same way, it would be considered much less acceptable.

greenspurs · 18-03-2020 5:14pm

Jeez man chill.

20-03-2020 12:15pm

greenspurs wrote: »

Jeez man chill.

What has he said or done with would suggest he's not chill?

It seems like any resistance or highlighting of these issues means the guy has emotional management issues.

I, for one, admire his consistency, and I've never seen any female bashing from him. Just highlighting issues which should be considered.

iptba · 20-03-2020 7:33pm

Women's Aid says it cannot be underestimated how difficult this time is going to be for women who are living with domestic violence in their homes.

Chief Executive Sarah Benson told RTÉ's Drivetime that an increase is expected in the number of incidents of domestic abuse as a result of the coronavirus crisis.

She said women self-isolating and working from home are at a greater risk from an abusive partner by being more exposed to their controlling behaviour, verbal abuse and violence.

Ms Benson said: "Many of the opportunities that women use to try and access safe spaces or to gain some distance have effectively been reduced."

True for men also

iptba · 06-04-2020 3:34am

Rising numbers of men are reporting domestic abuse to police in Suffolk.

https://www.ipswichstar.co.uk/news/male-domestic-abuse-services-suffolk-refuge-centre-charity-concerns-1-6583649?

mr_fegelien · 06-04-2020 4:13am

Does anyone have statistics or anecdotal stories of how common domestic abuse is in Ireland?

iptba · 06-04-2020 1:37pm

UN chief warns domestic violence rising amid pandemic

UN Secretary General Antonio Guterres has urged governments to include the protection of women in their response to the Covid-19 pandemic.

https://www.rte.ie/news/2020/0406/1128780-un-chief-warns-domestic-violence-on-rise-in-pandemic/

No mention of men and RTE only gives domestic violence helpline number for women

iptba · 06-04-2020 9:42pm

mr_fegelien wrote: »

Does anyone have statistics or anecdotal stories of how common domestic abuse is in Ireland?

Statistics on Domestic Violence:
The findings of the National Crime Council’s National Study of Domestic Abuse by Watson and Parsons, (2005) show that:

15 per cent of women and 6 per cent of men have experienced severely abusive behaviour from a partner.

29 per cent of women and 26 per cent of men suffer domestic abuse when severe abuse and minor incidents are combined.

In the region of 213,000 women and 88,000 men in Ireland have been severely abused by a partner at some point in their lives.

http://www.justice.ie/en/JELR/Pages/PR16000347

Silentcorner · 06-04-2020 10:17pm

iptba wrote: »

UN chief warns domestic violence rising amid pandemic

UN Secretary General Antonio Guterres has urged governments to include the protection of women in their response to the Covid-19 pandemic.

https://www.rte.ie/news/2020/0406/1128780-un-chief-warns-domestic-violence-on-rise-in-pandemic/

No mention of men and RTE only gives domestic violence helpline number for women

The Domestic Abuse industry should be ashamed of themselves, never forget how these feminists deliberately misrepresent this important issue and how utterly immoral they are, never forget how complicit media is in this charade...people wonder why less and less people have any trust in modern day media.

Hippo · 10-04-2020 3:51pm

Silentcorner wrote: »

The Domestic Abuse industry should be ashamed of themselves, never forget how these feminists deliberately misrepresent this important issue and how utterly immoral they are, never forget how complicit media is in this charade...people wonder why less and less people have any trust in modern day media.

Is this a serious post?

Silentcorner · 10-04-2020 5:44pm

Hippo wrote: »

Is this a serious post?

Is this a serious post?

Silentcorner · 12-04-2020 11:39pm

Hippo wrote: »

Is this a serious post?

Just so you know I am not the only one who believes that the feminist movement has disgraced itself when it comes to Domestic Violence...

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MwB4iJs__Bo

"How Feminists Lie about Domestic Violence"

Just a quick reminder, this state funds services to female sufferers of Domestic Abuse to the tune of over €21 million a year, mens services gets circa €750,000....despite repeated studies demonstrating that Domestic Violence is not a gendered issue, it is a human issue.

iptba · 13-04-2020 2:16pm

iptba wrote: »

UN chief warns domestic violence rising amid pandemic

UN Secretary General Antonio Guterres has urged governments to include the protection of women in their response to the Covid-19 pandemic.

https://www.rte.ie/news/2020/0406/1128780-un-chief-warns-domestic-violence-on-rise-in-pandemic/

No mention of men and RTE only gives domestic violence helpline number for women

Now the pope:

Pope Francis said society had to stand behind women victims of domestic violence, as abuse increased around the world during coronavirus lockdowns.

The Pope praised women in frontline roles in helping society weather the crisis, mentioning doctors, nurses, police officers ,prison guards and sales staff in stores selling essential goods.

The pope also praised the many women at home helping children, the elderly and the disabled.

But, he said: "Sometimes they (women) risk being victims of violence in a cohabitation that they bear like a weight that is far too heavy."

https://www.rte.ie/news/coronavirus/2020/0413/1130198-spain-eases-lockdown-measures-china-cases-rise/

Silentcorner · 13-04-2020 3:47pm

Back in January our leader Varadkar was warning us about the "epidemic of domestic abuse" now we are being warned again about the "epidemic of domestic abuse".... they love the old emotive rhetoric....like Rape Culture, Gender Pay Gaps....I've actually heard about the orgasm gap....it's like dealing with teenagers!

13-04-2020 9:55pm

Silentcorner wrote: »

Back in January our leader Varadkar was warning us about the "epidemic of domestic abuse" now we are being warned again about the "epidemic of domestic abuse".... they love the old emotive rhetoric....like Rape Culture, Gender Pay Gaps....I've actually heard about the orgasm gap....it's like dealing with teenagers!

Orgasm gap? seriously?

Silentcorner · 14-04-2020 8:44am

Deleted User wrote: »

Orgasm gap? seriously?

I'm afraid not...

https://www.independent.ie/style/sex-relationships/niamh-horan-the-orgasm-gapand-why-its-a-more-pressing-issue-than-the-gender-pay-gap-37585825.html

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/feb/09/female-orgasm-gap-sexual-iq

And don't forget about "Patriarchy Chicken"....apparently, according to headbanger feminists, we men stroll around the city streets in the belief that all women will get out of our way.....

https://www.newstatesman.com/politics/feminism/2019/02/how-play-patriarchy-chicken-why-i-refuse-move-out-way-men

Pawwed Rig · 14-04-2020 11:08am

And they wonder why print media is dying

14-04-2020 1:27pm

Silentcorner wrote: »

I'm afraid not...

https://www.independent.ie/style/sex-relationships/niamh-horan-the-orgasm-gapand-why-its-a-more-pressing-issue-than-the-gender-pay-gap-37585825.html

https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/feb/09/female-orgasm-gap-sexual-iq

And don't forget about "Patriarchy Chicken"....apparently, according to headbanger feminists, we men stroll around the city streets in the belief that all women will get out of our way.....

https://www.newstatesman.com/politics/feminism/2019/02/how-play-patriarchy-chicken-why-i-refuse-move-out-way-men

Good lord. The internet just breeds morons who, in turn, become "journalists". The amount of double standards and twisting of info is incredible. Surely they, themselves, can't believe this rubbish? Although, I guess it doesn't matter... they're still promoting this idea as being reality.

Silentcorner · 14-04-2020 1:34pm

Deleted User wrote: »

Good lord. The internet just breeds morons who, in turn, become "journalists". The amount of double standards and twisting of info is incredible. Surely they, themselves, can't believe this rubbish? Although, I guess it doesn't matter... they're still promoting this idea as being reality.

Well if you empower an entire gender you will end up with empowered morons, as both genders are capable of producing idiots.

Empowered morons are likely to believe anything that is presented as fact...they have abandoned reason!

14-04-2020 1:51pm

Silentcorner wrote: »

Well if you empower an entire gender you will end up with empowered morons, as both genders are capable of producing idiots.

Empowered morons are likely to believe anything that is presented as fact...they have abandoned reason!

The whole idea of needing to empower women makes me want to puke.

All the women throughout my family are confident and successful women in their own roles. My mother a principal of a school, my sister has a successful home business, my aunt the head nurse, etc. All of them also managed to have families at the same time.

I look around and I rarely see any signs that women need to be empowered... unless they're just looking for a handout. A boost so that they don't have to work quite as hard as the other women or other men.

Are there exceptions? Sure... but for the most part, women, as a gender, haven't needed to be empowered since the 70s.

Silentcorner · 14-04-2020 2:09pm

It's why I cannot relate to this wave of feminism..I simply don't know women who you could consider weak, I'm attracted to confident women (not to be confused with "empowered" women), we are all surrounded by smart women ...You'll find that while media and politics and social media are rife with this nonsense, that we should treat women like they are infants....most women aren't that dumb...the ballot box suggests I am not wrong....the state of media would suggest I am not wrong...

newport2 · 14-04-2020 4:13pm

Silentcorner wrote: »

Back in January our leader Varadkar was warning us about the "epidemic of domestic abuse" now we are being warned again about the "epidemic of domestic abuse".... they love the old emotive rhetoric....like Rape Culture, Gender Pay Gaps....I've actually heard about the orgasm gap....it's like dealing with teenagers!

I wonder why they never mention the education gap?

Silentcorner · 14-04-2020 4:17pm

newport2 wrote: »

I wonder why they never mention the education gap?

Or the health gap.
Or the spend gap.
Or the justice gap...

They are deluded, that is why.

iptba · 16-04-2020 1:52am

New domestic violence ad campaign tells victims support is 'still here' despite the pandemic
https://www.thejournal.ie/domestic-violence-support-ad-campaign-ireland-5074546-Apr2020/

Good to see that there is a specific audio ad for male victims as well as an audio ad for female victims.
However, there only seems to be a TV ad for female victims.

I also checked here https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCwAHbBLygV4TH_qdzh1JqSA/videos and here https://www.stillhere.ie/awareness-campaign/

iptba · 20-04-2020 1:05pm

"I feel constantly suffocated": The domestic violence epidemic raging behind closed doors of Covid-19

The first part of Noteworthy’s in-depth investigation into domestic abuse finds that services are dangerously underfunded during the coronavirus crisis.

https://www.thejournal.ie/domestic-violence-investigation-coronavirus-crisis-part-one-5076812-Apr2020/

It includes abuse on males, though I haven't read it so far, to see whether it is balanced.

iptba · 27-04-2020 4:39pm

iptba wrote: »

https://www.thejournal.ie/domestic-violence-investigation-coronavirus-crisis-part-one-5076812-Apr2020/

It includes abuse on males, though I haven't read it so far, to see whether it is balanced.

Interesting to see that people still believe things like the following and are willing to post them publicly:

they do mention men but the vast vast vast amount of domestic abuse is perpetrated by men. Fact

iptba · 27-04-2020 4:42pm

Domestic violence reports up 30% in some areas since lockdown, says Garda
Women’s Aid urges people to report suspected abuse as calls to its service increase

https://www.irishtimes.com/news/crime-and-law/domestic-violence-reports-up-30-in-some-areas-since-lockdown-says-garda-1.4238362

I think all the comments in this from the gardai are gender neutral, but then the comments from Women's Aid are not. While we are used to that, the fact that those charities for female victims only are so big in comparison to any that support male victims means that media reporting is very often unbalanced.

And of course, even the charities for female victims generally do not mention female perpetrators i.e. in same-sex relationships.

iptba · 20-05-2020 7:20pm

Meitheal na mBan – A fundraiser by TG4 to raise money for Women’s Aid.
https://journalofmusic.com/listing/19-05-20/meitheal-na-mban-sharon-shannon-nell-ni-chroinin-and-wyvern-lingo

I'm not holding my breath for TG4 to also do a fundraiser for a charity for male victims.

iptba · 29-05-2020 5:14pm

Man will avoid jail if he drinks beer, not spirits

Alcohol misuse organisation Alcohol Action Ireland said the court was misguided in attempting to protect the victim.

A spokesman said: “Alcohol, regardless of what product is consumed, will always be a mind altering, psychoactive drug that contributes to a range of harms to others.

However, no matter what level of alcohol was deemed to have been a contributing factor here, it can never be an excuse for exonerating male violence towards women.”

https://www.irishexaminer.com/breakingnews/ireland/man-will-avoid-jail-if-he-drinks-beer-not-spirits-1002351.html

Mildly interesting that they couldn't bring themselves to use gender-neutral language in the bolded bit.

Pawwed Rig · 29-05-2020 6:12pm

iptba wrote: »

Mildly interesting that they couldn't bring themselves to use gender-neutral language in the bolded bit.

They were referring to this specific case tbf.

iptba · 29-05-2020 6:38pm

Pawwed Rig wrote: »

They were referring to this specific case tbf.

I’m not sure I’ve heard a similar body say something like:

However, no matter what level of alcohol was deemed to have been a contributing factor here, it can never be an excuse for exonerating female violence towards men.”

Indeed, you rarely hear official bodies use the term “female violence against men”, particularly in the context of individual cases.

iptba · 03-06-2020 4:26pm

Three cases reported in the Irish Times:
---

In a sworn statement to the court, the man said there was an incident at their home last week, where the woman “ran at me with a blade” and that he was “up against the wall”.

The man, who was only present in court, said the woman was “rubbing the blade against my chin and didn’t stop until I was crying”.

The man said, “This is the third time she has pulled a knife on me.” He said his partner was now living elsewhere with their children.

---

Separately, a woman secured an interim barring order against her husband after she told the court he punched her in the face and threatened to kill her on Bank Holiday Monday.

---

Separately, a woman secured a protection order on an ex-parte basis against her grandson.

https://www.irishtimes.com/news/crime-and-law/man-gets-protection-order-after-partner-ran-at-him-with-a-blade-1.4268904

greenspurs · 12-06-2020 11:36am

Do you hate women?
Or hate their portrayal in life ?

At IPTBA ….

12-06-2020 11:44am

greenspurs wrote: »

Do you hate women?
Or hate their portrayal in life ?

huh? Who is it directed towards? What's that supposed to mean?

iptba · 12-06-2020 12:48pm

I hate the fact that there is a form of gender discrimination in how victims of domestic violence are supported and how the issue is discussed in society and the media.

I hate the way so relatively few people highlight this, particularly those in positions of power, but I can understand why it can happen as some people are prone to make ad hominem attacks on people who speak up for men in society. So I tend to dislike people who try to silence people who speak up to highlight issues that affect men. In some ways, they are the core problem that make change difficult.

Silentcorner · 12-06-2020 1:31pm

greenspurs wrote: »

Do you hate women?
Or hate their portrayal in life ?

At IPTBA ….

Classic shaming tactic.

It's like if you ever hear "who hurt you"....it is manipulation 1.1, school girl bully tactics.

12-06-2020 4:05pm

Silentcorner wrote: »

Classic shaming tactic.

It's like if you ever hear "who hurt you"....it is manipulation 1.1, school girl bully tactics.

Actually, it's the ignorance that annoys me the most about it. iptba's posts are very clear and easy to read. It's not as if someone has to put in any real effort to see a trend in the type of posts he submits.

I've never seen him post anything nasty about women. Never. But some yob comes along, sees that he's not playing up to the party line, and so, it must mean he hates women or some other rubbish. It's this kind of ignorance that annoys me because it just shows how shallow some people are becoming.

iptba · 22-06-2020 4:42pm

Some touching words from a very young girl who has presumably seen some distressing domestic strife
https://www.facebook.com/NTDTelevision/videos/2808170575891701/?vh=e&d=n

Frustrating that this is one of the top comments, a phenomenon I and others have mentioned before:

Wow so smart she just wants peace in her home and in the world and for everybody to smile and be happy god bless you.. keep calming your mom down. I wonder what the dad did to get the mom so upset..

iptba · 05-07-2020 10:09pm

Why don’t you ever listen to me? How many times do I have to tell you not to do that?

No one likes to be nagged. And yet it’s one of the most common ways that people can sour their relationships.

We’ve all come across couples in which one constantly appears to be nagging the other, with a seemingly unending stream of sniping, griping and nit-picking.

It may sound innocuous, but according to new research, it can actually kill. Professor Jamila Bookwala and a team from Lafayette College in Pennsylvania interviewed 1,734 men and women for the U.S.’s National Social Life, Health and Ageing project.

They found that people who reported high levels of criticism from their partner were more than twice as likely to die prematurely.

The effect was the same for both men and women and was independent of other factors, such as having friends or family who might be expected to protect them from the effects of nagging.

It’s clear there is something about an unending drip-drip of negativity that can cause serious damage to people’s health.

Those who were nagged frequently had a 44 per cent higher risk of dying within five years than those who were criticised only occasionally. From the least criticised to the most, there was a 107 per cent increase in mortality.

https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-8488677/DR-MAX-PEMBERTON-drip-drip-nagging-damages-health.html

iptba · 25-07-2020 2:18pm

Organisations working to combat domestic violence are “deeply concerned” at moves they say will “downgrade” the issue by moving it out of the Department of Justice and into the newly-expanded Department of Children, Disability, Equality and Integration.

https://www.irishtimes.com/news/social-affairs/moving-domestic-violence-brief-from-justice-a-downgrade-1.4312961

The programme for government describes domestic violence as an “epidemic” and commits the Government to: “Conduct an immediate audit, to be concluded within nine months of the formation of the government, of how responsibility for domestic sexual and gender-based violence is segmented across different government agencies, and develop proposals on what infrastructure is needed to ensure the issue is dealt with in the most effective manner possible”.

I wonder what effect this might have. Sometimes initiatives can go too far, e.g. initiatives at increasing conviction rates for sexual assault has led to problems for defendants in the US and UK.

c.p.w.g.w · 29-07-2020 5:08pm

mr_fegelien wrote: »

Does anyone have statistics or anecdotal stories of how common domestic abuse is in Ireland?

A friend works in social care/child development who normally does home visits and domestic abuse has sky rocketed in one praticular part of society, can't say it as I'll get banned...

"Man Up" campaign by SafeIreland

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