Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names] - Part II

inforfun · 03-04-2017 8:36am

Yeah... i read that as trying to get fu(ked up for school

PARlance · 03-04-2017 9:18am

inforfun wrote: »

Yeah... i read that as trying to get fu(ked up for school

Well, you could argue the point.

kunst nugget · 03-04-2017 10:46am

...And Justice wrote: »

Yeah this bitch is definitely a gee bag, so in other words, "I'll be taking wavin pipe, there'll be baby gravy splashing around the place and I won't be protected...but I'll kill it afterwards".

She could just use a rubber ffs...

milehip wrote: »

'Wavin pipe' gets called out but 'lil ho' with the bangs stating she favours abortion over contraception doesn't raise an eyebrow.

Fúcking hell, she only made an off-colour joke, she hadn't actually done anything…

alwaysadub · 03-04-2017 10:49am

Someone put up a post thanking everyone for wishing her a happy birthday and added 16 selfies, all taken one after the other, with it. WTF!. She wasn't even out celebrating or anything, she's sitting on the couch in a sweatshirt.

clairewithani · 03-04-2017 2:12pm

milehip wrote: »

'Wavin pipe' gets called out but 'lil ho' with the bangs stating she favours abortion over contraception doesn't raise an eyebrow.

Wavin pipe, baby gravy. Trying too hard.

milehip · 03-04-2017 7:27pm

kunst nugget wrote: »

Fúcking hell, she only made an off-colour joke, she hadn't actually done anything…

Sorry,didn't realise the baby daddy was on here.

clairewithani · 03-04-2017 7:41pm

milehip wrote: »

Sorry,didn't realise the baby daddy was on here.

Widdershins · 03-04-2017 11:17pm

''going to fill my holes tomorrow, got the stuff.

where the stair rail used to go for all you dirty minded ones) I am clearly not cut out for this job, I had to use my fingers to get it in deep enough''

coolhull · 03-04-2017 11:24pm

Widdershins wrote: »

''going to fill my holes tomorrow, got the stuff.

where the stair rail used to go for all you dirty minded ones) I am clearly not cut out for this job, I had to use my fingers to get it in deep enough''

Class always shows through, doesn't it?

Widdershins · 03-04-2017 11:53pm

coolhull wrote: »

Class always shows through, doesn't it?

You can't buy it. You either have it, or you don't.

Since I found it unbearably funny, I clearly don't!

kitten_k · 04-04-2017 9:55am

While you scream at your woman, there's a man wishing he could whisper in her ear. While you humiliate, offend and insult her, there's a man flirting with her and reminding her how beautiful she is. While you hurt her, there's a man wishing he could take her pain away. While you make her cry, there's a man stealing smiles from her. Don't make her feel like she's in the wrong every day. That sort of torture kills a person's soul.. &#55357;&#56877;&#55357;&#56468; Copy & paste this to your wall if you are against Domestic Violence & Mental Abuse. xxx

optogirl · 04-04-2017 10:21am

kitten_k wrote: »

While you scream at your woman, there's a man wishing he could whisper in her ear. While you humiliate, offend and insult her, there's a man flirting with her and reminding her how beautiful she is. While you hurt her, there's a man wishing he could take her pain away. While you make her cry, there's a man stealing smiles from her. Don't make her feel like she's in the wrong every day. That sort of torture kills a person's soul.. �� Copy & paste this to your wall if you are against Domestic Violence & Mental Abuse. xxx

awh ****e - was going to share but I am very much FOR domestic violence & mental abuse;)

kunst nugget · 04-04-2017 10:29am

kitten_k wrote: »

While you scream at your woman, there's a man wishing he could whisper in her ear. While you humiliate, offend and insult her, there's a man flirting with her and reminding her how beautiful she is. While you hurt her, there's a man wishing he could take her pain away. While you make her cry, there's a man stealing smiles from her. Don't make her feel like she's in the wrong every day. That sort of torture kills a person's soul.. &#55357;&#56877;&#55357;&#56468; Copy & paste this to your wall if you are against Domestic Violence & Mental Abuse. xxx

Ah, I was just starting to unwind but that status has gotten me all jealous so now I'm going to have to beat up the missus again!!!

milehip · 04-04-2017 11:13am

kunst nugget wrote: »

Ah, I was just starting to unwind but that status has gotten me all jealous so now I'm going to have to beat up the missus again!!!

You'd best not mess up lil ho's bangs or you'll answer to me!!!!

kunst nugget · 04-04-2017 11:17am

Ah, no. I can't go there…

milehip · 04-04-2017 11:29am

kunst nugget wrote: »

Ah, no. I can't go there…

She finally stopped smoking crack for long enough to file that restraining order eh?
not to worry plenty more rats in the hood!

Lisha · 04-04-2017 1:47pm

One of the comments after a news paper article reporting that a teenage runaway has been found safe:

'Glad she was found but it's getting a bit much now twice daily to see missing teenagers a good funt up the hole and charged with wasting time should be applied to the timewasters'

That expression 'funt up the hole'

drake70 · 04-04-2017 1:53pm

Lisha wrote: »

One of the comments after a news paper article reporting that a teenage runaway has been found safe:

'Glad she was found but it's getting a bit much now twice daily to see missing teenagers a good funt up the hole and charged with wasting time should be applied to the timewasters'

That expression 'funt up the hole'

funt
NOUN

historical
A Russian unit of weight, equal to approx. 409.5 grams (approx. 14.4 oz); the Russian pound.

Origin
Mid 19th century. From Russian funt pound (now hist.; Old Russian funt) from Middle High German phunt or early modern German pfund.

Pronunciation
funt/fʌnt/

Source: https://en.oxforddictionaries.com/definition/funt

Lady Haywire · 04-04-2017 4:55pm

If your boyfriend has facebook, set this as your status!! If he doesn't comment within 10 minutes he owes you â‚¬100 to go shopping 🏬 🏬 🏬😊😂 not allowed to tag!!!

Jesus....

Widdershins · 04-04-2017 4:58pm

And if he doesn't pass you the notes within 24 hours, he dies, and there's a curse on your line for ten generations.

BattleCorp · 05-04-2017 8:20am

If your boyfriend has facebook, set this as your status!! If he doesn't comment within 10 minutes he owes you â‚¬100 to go shopping &#55356;&#57324; &#55356;&#57324; &#55356;&#57324;&#55357;&#56842;&#55357;&#56834; not allowed to tag!!!

Fcukin sad if people are expected to check their FB page every 10 minutes. Do people not have a life? And also having to look at stupid crap like that.

Liam McPoyle · 05-04-2017 1:40pm

"Tag a mate and don't say anything"

/twitch

optogirl · 06-04-2017 8:24am

'Once you bring kids into the world, it's not about you anymore. Share if you agree. Lots of people I know need to see this'

Huh? Funnily enough it was never 'about me'.

sligojoek · 08-04-2017 10:25pm

Paddy power once again robed the punter using punters money making up racing roules as thy go the grand national is the biggest. Handicap in the world the biggest money spinner to shame on you paddy power only in Ireland

>

The White Feather · 08-04-2017 11:32pm

"What is a table quiz? Is it a trivia game?"

kitten_k · 10-04-2017 9:46am

Hi hun, can you put a ❤ on your FB wall, without comment, only a heart, then send this message to your women contacts. This is for women to remember its the week of breast cancer prevention! ❤ Check your boobies!!&#55357;&#56471;&#55357;&#56471;&#55357;&#56471;&#55357;&#56471;
Hold your finger down on the message and hit forward. X

inforfun · 10-04-2017 10:08am

Might as well double post. There is 2 boobies to check after all.... Right?

anewme · 10-04-2017 7:58pm

clairewithani wrote: »

Does anyone in real life talk like this?

...And Justice wrote: »

Yeah this bitch is definitely a gee bag, so in other words, "I'll be taking wavin pipe, there'll be baby gravy splashing around the place and I won't be protected...but I'll kill it afterwards".

When I read it first, I thought it was another skangery post from Facebook.

clairewithani · 10-04-2017 10:06pm

anewme wrote: »

When I read it first, I thought it was another skangery post from Facebook.

?????

anewme · 10-04-2017 10:37pm

...And Justice wrote: »

Yeah this bitch is definitely a gee bag, so in other words, "I'll be taking wavin pipe, there'll be baby gravy splashing around the place and I won't be protected...but I'll kill it afterwards".

She could just use a rubber ffs..

Is that what she means?

Is that a post from Facebook?

Or a post (here) about a post on Facebook?

I'm not sure.

The language is vile, whatever way it is.

clairewithani · 10-04-2017 10:42pm

anewme wrote: »

Is that a post from Facebook?

Or a post (here) about a post on Facebook?

I'm not sure.

The language is vile, whatever way it is.

A post here about a post on Facebook. Don't question the language. I did that and had people whinge.

...And Justice · 10-04-2017 10:46pm

anewme wrote: »

Is that a post from Facebook?

Or a post (here) about a post on Facebook?

I'm not sure.

The language is vile, whatever way it is.

Vile it maybe, but you need to respond with what the post is "probably?" About, I don't talk like this in real life, yes it's disgusting, but people make a happy blase way of doing really unbelievable stuff, it needs a fairly disgusting response.

fussyonion · 11-04-2017 10:06am

"rip to my uncle who past. Away gentle giant he was much loved missed anal we have our memorys noone can takeaway. Luv u mick."

Comment: "ah jaysus was he sick?"
OP: "pm ya"
Comment: "rip mick wat happened hun"
OP: "pm ya"

inforfun · 11-04-2017 10:12am

I feel a Nathan Fillion gif is the only suitable reply to that one.

So here we go....

clairewithani · 11-04-2017 11:35am

fussyonion wrote: »

"rip to my uncle who past. Away gentle giant he was much loved missed anal we have our memorys noone can takeaway. Luv u mick."

Comment: "ah jaysus was he sick?"
OP: "pm ya"
Comment: "rip mick wat happened hun"
OP: "pm ya"

Much loved missed ANAL

kunst nugget · 11-04-2017 11:40am

clairewithani wrote: »

Much loved missed ANAL

Missed anal so much, he couldn't bear to carry on living. Presumably no one is allowed to eat takeaway anymore either.

Pherekydes · 11-04-2017 11:42am

fussyonion wrote: »

"rip to my uncle who past. Away gentle giant he was much loved missed anal we have our memorys noone can takeaway. Luv u mick."

Comment: "ah jaysus was he sick?"
OP: "pm ya"
Comment: "rip mick wat happened hun"
OP: "pm ya"

Obviously he was [accidentally] killed by some guy called Noone during anal sex.

clairewithani · 11-04-2017 11:50am

Pherekydes wrote: »

Obviously he was [accidentally] killed by some guy called Noone during anal sex.

And to save embarrassment they PM.

Widdershins · 11-04-2017 1:13pm

''At the weekend i took 28 healers to our local Nine Ladies Stone Circle. We tuned in to the energy of the land and the stones and then meditated amongst the stones. The energy we collectively generated was extraordinary..... a deep silence and peace descended and was so powerful that all other visitors fell silent as they arrived..... It seemed to me that the stones had amplified the energy of the healers...... and this got me thinking.....

what if we gathered in numbers at the stone circles and used them with focused intention.... we can amplify our intention to heal and unite, open hearts and make a difference...... They were built for energy work and we are so lucky to have so many remaining that we can work with.... lets not waste the opportunity they offer......

I would have loved to have taken a picture of the stones full of people meditating, but was too caught in the energy to even think about it.....so here's a picture from another visit.... they feel like they are waiting for us to arrive and work with them..... let's do it!''

I wonder if the other visitors fell silent from confusion when they saw 28 mad looking middle aged ladies slumped at the base of the standing stones..

Pherekydes · 11-04-2017 1:41pm

Why didn't they go to the nearest children's hospital and heal all the injured kids?

sligojoek · 11-04-2017 4:04pm

Pherekydes wrote: »

Why didn't they go to the nearest children's hospital and heal all the injured kids?

That's what "Amens" on Facebook are for.

sligojoek · 11-04-2017 10:40pm

rawn · 12-04-2017 7:46am

With a broken heart and tears in my eyes. I can honestly say this is by far the most difficult time ever. I know what cancer and treatment can do to a body and I sometimes wonder if the treatment is worth it in the long haul. It seems to do more harm than good.
Nothing is more painful than trying to smile and remain positive, but after chemo and radiation, you know the person is physically changed and they suffer with this sadness. I know many of you do not give a hoot about this message because, of course, the cancer has not touched you. You do not know what it's like to have fought the fight or had a loved one who leads a battle against cancer. For all the men and women I know, I ask you a small favor and only some of you will do it. If you know someone who has led a battle against cancer, still struggling or who passed, please add this to your status for one hour as a mark of support, respect and remembrance.
Copy and paste to support those affected by cancer. From your phone or tablet, hold your finger on the message to copy and paste on your page.

So patronizing!

Surreptitious · 15-04-2017 7:13am

So wed I went into freshly chopped you know because for some weird reason we are all on these health buzzes.went in had a look at the menu **** me ripped of assholes 8 euro for a salad you taking the piss ya can buy a head of lettuce for a euro buy your own sauce and add chicken.how are they aloud to charge that much for rabbit food getting ridiculous now.

anewme · 15-04-2017 8:48am

Surreptitious wrote: »

So wed I went into freshly chopped you know because for some weird reason we are all on these health buzzes.went in had a look at the menu **** me ripped of assholes 8 euro for a salad you taking the piss ya can buy a head of lettuce for a euro buy your own sauce and add chicken.how are they aloud to charge that much for rabbit food getting ridiculous now.

They have a point!!!

rawn · 15-04-2017 10:09am

anewme wrote:

They have a point!!!

No they don't!

clairewithani · 15-04-2017 10:24am

anewme wrote: »

They have a point!!!

â‚¬1 for a head of lettuce, add your own chicken

The White Feather · 15-04-2017 12:46pm

"bought a dvd off ebay and I basically paid for a dvd with 4 trailers no movie on it F*ck rught off I'm in a foul mood whata waste of money"

:D :pac::pac:

anewme · 15-04-2017 1:27pm

rawn wrote: »

No they don't!

They do actually.

Whatever about "a head of lettuce us a Euro and add your own chicken"
8 Euro is expensive for the quality of the ingredients in a chopped salad.

Any deviations are add on's e.g. spinich or rocket rack up additional charges.

My friend asked about the seafood, to be told they come in frozen, they were not able to tell me the providence of the chicken.

It's sold as healthy and low fat but after you add the dressings they are not healthy at all unless you pick lemon juice only as a dressing.

It's ok as a stop gap if there was nothing else available, but irs marketing ploy.

whoopsadoodles · 15-04-2017 1:34pm

anewme wrote: »

They do actually.

Whatever about "a head of lettuce us a Euro and add your own chicken"
8 Euro is expensive for the quality of the ingredients in a chopped salad.

Any deviations are add on's e.g. spinich or rocket rack up additional charges.

My friend asked about the seafood, to be told they come in frozen, they were not able to tell me the providence of the chicken.

It's sold as healthy and low fat but after you add the dressings they are not healthy at all unless you pick lemon juice only as a dressing.

It's ok as a stop gap if there was nothing else available, but irs marketing ploy.

So don't buy it!

Saying they shouldn't be "allowed" (aloud :rolleyes:) to sell it is moronic.

Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names] - Part II

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