Ruining a wedding

freshpopcorn · 08-04-2021 4:17pm

Not really to be honest.
At a funeral tough when everybody was giving there condolences to the family. My grandmother asked a lady how her mother was and the lady replied she’s just being buried there.

kildare lad · 08-04-2021 4:23pm

I was at a wedding for a bloke I worked with . Him and his family are working class Dubs while the wife's side of the family thought they were a bit well to do. Anyway best man giving the speech says " I'm delighted derek met a beautiful woman like yvonne because he's been with a far few mingers in his day" everyone starts laughing except the mother in law . He then says" I don't know what everyones laughing at , there's a few of those mingers sitting in this room " . The mother in law storms off and the bride and her dad run off to console her. Thankfully she back after a few minutes and everything passed of peacefully .

screamer · 08-04-2021 4:43pm

Was at a wedding once where the best man in his speech, compared the bride to a fat horse at the RDS show, it was a total clanger and destroyed the wedding vibe, as everyone was talking about it. The bride, who would be a curvy lady, tried to smile through, but you could see that she was devastated. We were all sitting there saying did he really say that.....
Anyways, it lead to frosty years between groom and his best man, who were related to make it even worse.

Mister Vain · 08-04-2021 4:46pm

Speeches should be banned from weddings. I've yet to hear one that didn't make me cringe.

08-04-2021 4:50pm

Mister Vain wrote: »

Speeches should be banned from weddings.

Weddings should be banned from weddings.

Toots · 08-04-2021 4:51pm

It wasn't quite "ruined" but I was at a wedding once where the speeches went on for about 2 hours. It was awful. They did that weird set up where they had the meal and then did the speeches in between the main course and the dessert.

The two Dads both did nice brief speeches, and then the groom's was about 15/20 mins, so nothing mad. Then the best man (groom's brother who, it turns out, was a local politician) takes his turn and things go downhill. He just wouldn't shut up - after about 45 mins, he started getting some good natured heckling about wrapping it up. He didn't take the hint and kept going, but he wasn't talking about the bride and groom, he just kept going on and on about the groom's side of the family and how great they were.

Another 45 or so mins later and the heckling is getting decidedly less good natured (someone loudly questioned if this guy "was ever going to shut the f*ck up") and people were just openly starring to chat amongst themselves. We were sitting at a table near the kitchen and could hear some commotion and eventually the banqueting manager just came up and took groom to one side. Groom then took the mic off the best man, said thanks very much etc. Found out later that the manager had to tell the groom that if the speeches went on any longer, then the 250+ desserts, that were plated and ready to serve, would be inedible and would have to be binned.

PhilOssophy · 08-04-2021 4:51pm

Mister Vain wrote: »

Speeches should be banned from weddings. I've yet to hear one that didn't make me cringe.

Banned by who?

I am indifferent to speeches, but it is a good opportunity for a child to thank their parents for all they have done, or for parents to welcome a new family member, in a very public and sometimes funny way.

I've only ever heard 1 wedding speech which made me cringe, and even that wasn't too bad either.

Here's an idea - when the speeches are on, slip out to the bar. Nobody will care for your absence.

PhilOssophy · 08-04-2021 4:53pm

Toots wrote: »

It wasn't quite "ruined" but I was at a wedding once where the speeches went on for about 2 hours. It was awful. They did that weird set up where they had the meal and then did the speeches in between the main course and the dessert.

The two Dads both did nice brief speeches, and then the groom's was about 15/20 mins, so nothing mad. Then the best man (groom's brother who, it turns out, was a local politician) takes his turn and things go downhill. He just wouldn't shut up - after about 45 mins, he started getting some good natured heckling about wrapping it up. He didn't take the hint and kept going, but he wasn't talking about the bride and groom, he just kept going on and on about the groom's side of the family and how great they were.

Another 45 or so mins later and the heckling is getting decidedly less good natured (someone loudly questioned if this guy "was ever going to shut the f*ck up") and people were just openly starring to chat amongst themselves. We were sitting at a table near the kitchen and could hear some commotion and eventually the banqueting manager just came up and took groom to one side. Groom then took the mic off the best man, said thanks very much etc. Found out later that the manager had to tell the groom that if the speeches went on any longer, then the 250+ desserts, that were plated and ready to serve, would be inedible and would have to be binned.

I've experienced that myself. I think everybody sitting there listening to the speeches was cringing as it seemed like everybody had a go on the mic.

The worst was the brides sister, who told 1-2 stories which only she found funny and she cackled with laughter, in the end people were laughing at her laugh.

Capt'n Midnight · 08-04-2021 4:54pm

Woman Discovers Her Son’s Bride is Her Long Lost Daughter the woman noticed a birthmark on the bride’s hand, which looked strikingly similar to that of her long-lost child. And the wedding went ahead :eek:

The groom was adopted.

Sebastian Dangerfield · 08-04-2021 4:57pm

At one wedding I attended about 10 years ago, a person at our table* sank 7 or 8 quick pints between the church and the hotel. Sat down for the starter, and he starts complaining about shooting chest pains, that he might be having a heart attack. The speeches start and he can take no more - just as the groom is speaking he bursts out of the room, knocking over chairs along the way and making a right spectacle.

He stumbled up to his room and lay on the floor thinking he was dying until his girlfriend came running in to check on him, stepped on his belly and tripped over him, resulting in an explosion of burp and fart the likes of which has never been heard before. His recovery was instant, but had to wait a couple of hours before sheepishly returning to the function room where he got not only a slagging from large sections of the crowd for the rest of that night, but again from the waiting staff at a wedding in the same venue the following week.

*okay it was me

08-04-2021 4:57pm

In early 2000, I was on the train back from Waterford to Dublin.

A couple shared the table with me. For some part of the journey they talked about someone's sibling who was not invited to a wedding of theirs.
The sibling turned up at the wedding breakfast. Very very awkward in how to handle the sibling, a fella. The event management had to do the best they could.

Church on Tuesday · 08-04-2021 5:02pm

If I ever get married, it's a small chapel/registry office with one or two witnesses and maybe two or three people extremely close to me. Go all out on a honeymoon after.

The rest just seems like unnecessary convoluted and tedious nonsense.

GLaDOS · 08-04-2021 5:21pm

Not ruined, but the groom in his speech essentially said that if it wasn't for (brides and grooms child) they wouldn't be here today, followed by much backtracking.

JayRoc · 08-04-2021 5:22pm

JustAThought wrote: »

OMG I hope she took him up on that - save a fortune in solicitors fees :0

I was at a very fancy one - black tie, no expense spared - when up rocked a cousin with two children and one screaming from a pram, wedding was strictly a no children affair, cousin plonked herself at ‘our’ (full) table and atarted ordering high chairs and plate settings for herself and the kids - staff didn’t know what to do but obliged her with one high chair and an adult plate setting - the bride stormed down from the top table to call her out on it and insisted neither her nor her children be served and be removed from the reception. Manager was useless, no security on the door - naturally - so cousin just sat and refused to move. Eventually she started feeding her baby a bottle and begged things from other peoples plates and used random spoons and the sideplates for herself and the kids. Everyone was eyes on her and the groom nearly had to wrestle the bride to the floor she was so livid. One child screamed all the way through the speaches which were repeatedly pointedly stopped while they were states at. She travelled - without her husband - from the other end of Ireland to make this holy show of herself. neither groom nor bride were close to her & as a courtesy she and her husband had been invited - without children - like all others but had not rsvp’d. I can still see the rage on the brides face. It will never be forgotten, nor forgiven.

That's not even funny it's just awful tbh.

bewareofthedog · 08-04-2021 5:26pm

jester77 wrote: »

There was a lad that was in a group of friends I hung out with. I was at his first wedding, girl was a stunner. They ended up splitting up shortly after and then later getting divorced. I had left Ireland at that stage and wasn't in contact with him, but he moved on and met someone and was getting married again. Some of my mates were at this wedding and it was time for the speeches. The lad stood up and wanted to toast his new wife and he called her by the ex-wifes name. Didn't go down well.

JimmyVik · 08-04-2021 5:29pm

Just thinking i better delete that, because they will all know who it is

Sebastian Dangerfield · 08-04-2021 5:30pm

At another well-to-do wedding, I was the +1 of a cousin of the bride. Their family is pretty close, so there was great excitement leading up to the big day.

The guy she was marrying is a bit of a gobsh1te (so is she tbh), but my god did his family express their love for him. Endlessly. The priest who had christened him in his home town had travelled to officiate. He spoke more lovingly about this fella than he did about God. His entire sermon was basically how great "Mark" was and jokes / thinly veiled jibes about how "Mary" (not real names) had finally managed to trap him into marriage. Speeches were more of the same, 4 to 5 members of his family, plus a senior person from the local GAA club, rabitting on for 90 mins about how perfect he was. The only references to the bride were repeated jibes about "finally getting your way" and a couple of jokes about her being cheap.

Her uncle wanted to fight the priest by the end, he was so embarrased for her. Even though I don't like her, I felt quite sorry for her. But she seemed just happy to be married, so maybe they were right!

My first ever wedding was my cousins, 20 years ago probably. My grandad (mam's dad) got drunk before dinner and was driving my dad mental. It had been a long day so food was eagerly awaited. It finally arrived, usual tough as old boots carvery beef you get at most country places, but we were starving so it was welcome. Then my grandad decides he wants to take home food for the dog, so pulls out a plastic bag and walks around, takes the meat off every plate at the table and stuffs it into the bag.

He got to my dads first who was too shocked to do anything. An aunt put up a struggle, but he would have fought her to the death Id say. The rest of us gave in and ate veg. He snored the whole way through the meal, gravy dripping from the leaking bag in his jacket as he slept.

Purple Mountain · 08-04-2021 5:32pm

When I was a teenager, I attended the afters of a cousin's wedding with my family.
Late in the night, a few gate crashers came into the wedding, probably because the bar in the hotel was closing.
There was a young staff working in the function room, probably very inexperienced and failed to get the gatecrashers to leave or else they left and returned.
The bride ended up on the door doing "bouncer" and I can still see her draping herself across the door telling the crashers this was a private party.
It was very upsetting to see.

TheBoyConor · 08-04-2021 5:36pm

PhilOssophy wrote: »

Well unless you were on a 3-month bender, you'd have to have given it at least some sober thought in advance!

That may be the case, but over the preceding period someone would be absolutely within their rights to change their mind. However, I would imagine that what actually counts in court would be the person's state of mind at the moment of entering into the contract. If they were so profoundly drunk that they were incapable of standing upright and had to be propped up on a chair for the ceremony and signing of the legal documents, then if I was later on looking for an annullment, I would 110% have my legal eagles exploring whether the annullment was possible on the basis of being non compos mentis at the moment of entering into the marriage contract.

To the man on the street it might not appear to be a big deal, but when there is property, money and the future earnings at stake, people will have their solicitors go down any and every rabbithole to see if they can score a quick handy way out that safegaurds their assets and future earnings and pension.

Stovepipe · 08-04-2021 5:41pm

I was at a wedding in Mayo, one time and the meal was quite late so everyone had plenty of time to drink. The first loud argument was at about 7 pm, the first fight at about 9 and it went downhill from there. It's where I heard the classic line from a drunken wife to an equally drunk husband, who was rolling back his jacket to get stuck in, " Don't hit him,Francie! You'll mark him for life!". The next day, it was declared a great success by many. I thought I was doing well to get out in one piece.

TheBoyConor · 08-04-2021 5:42pm

HildaOgdenx wrote: »

I'm laughing at that, even though I guess it wasn't funny for those concerned.

i wonder would the best man have been secretly gay for the groom?
Definitely sounds more like a funeral speech.

Lesalare · 08-04-2021 5:45pm

Sebastian Dangerfield wrote: »

Then my grandad decides he wants to take home food for the dog, so pulls out a plastic bag and walks around, takes the meat off every plate at the table and stuffs it into the bag.

:D:D:D Am LOLing here...

Sebastian Dangerfield · 08-04-2021 5:45pm

Stovepipe wrote: »

I was at a wedding in Mayo, one time and the meal was quite late so everyone had plenty of time to drink. The first loud argument was at about 7 pm, the first fight at about 9 and it went downhill from there. It's where I heard the classic line from a drunken wife to an equally drunk husband, who was rolling back his jacket to get stuck in, " Don't hit him,Francie! You'll mark him for life!". The next day, it was declared a great success by many. I thought I was doing well to get out in one piece.

It was also in Mayo I heard a drunken groom pick up the microphone to start speaking. The brides father said something to him as he stood, to which the groom replied , too close to the microphone, "hy, half of nothin is ****in nothin ya c*nt"

partyguinness · 08-04-2021 5:48pm

I have been to a few weddings in England and I can safely say they have all been as dry as a camel's belly. Absolutely dreadful. Usually on a weekday with finger food...

I rememebr one on a Wednesday...pizza delivery was the food. Help yourself to the slices in the boxes. The bride and groom were both teachers...too fcuking tight to spend any money. Then they couldnt understand and a bit offended why everyone was gone by 10pm "It's a Wednesdsay night. We work tomorrow." It ain't midterm break for us.

At least weddings in Ireland tend to be "all out" affairs.

screamer · 08-04-2021 6:01pm

partyguinness wrote: »

I have been to a few weddings in England and I can safely say they have all been as dry as a camel's belly. Absolutely dreadful. Usually on a weekday with finger food...

I rememebr one on a Wednesday...pizza delivery was the food. Help yourself to the slices in the boxes. The bride and groom were both teachers...too fcuking tight to spend any money. Then they couldnt understand and a bit offended why everyone was gone by 10pm "It's a Wednesdsay night. We work tomorrow." It ain't midterm break for us.

At least weddings in Ireland tend to be "all out" affairs.

I can better it, wasn’t at this wedding but here goes. A couple got married on a day when there was a 24 hour fast for charity thing, used to be popular a few years back. Anyways guests arrive to the reception, separated into 2 rooms, let’s say 40% given full dinner etc, the other 60% sat down to a bowl of rice and a note on the table to say that as it was fasting for charity day, 60% of people in the world have less than a bowl of rice to eat everyday and the couple had done this in solidarity and instead donated the cost of their food to the appeal, and they’d have rice only.I sh:t you not.

Purple Mountain · 08-04-2021 6:02pm

^ I was at a wedding at a golf club in England a few years ago.
Even though it was a buffet style reception, the food was by far the nicest Ive ever had at a wedding and the presentation was outstanding.
What really stunned me was when I went to pay for my drink at the bar and the barman says it's a free bar all night.
I couldn't understand there was no stampede to get drinks and there was only ever maybe one person being served at a time.

Sebastian Dangerfield · 08-04-2021 6:03pm

screamer wrote: »

I can better it, wasn’t at this wedding but here goes. A couple got married on a day when there was a 24 hour fast for charity thing, used to be popular a few years back. Anyways guests arrive to the reception, separated into 2 rooms, let’s say 40% given full dinner etc, the other 60% sat down to a bowl of rice and a note on the table to say that as it was fasting for charity day, 60% of people in the world have less than a bowl of rice to eat everyday and the couple had done this in solidarity and instead donated the cost of their food to the appeal, and they’d have rice only.I sh:t you not.

Some of the stuff posted in this thread has been nuts, but this is the clear winner.

TheBoyConor · 08-04-2021 6:03pm

Donated it to their honeymoon more like.

What a pair of absolute fúckwits. The neck on them. Imagine, to arbitrarily divide the party like that. It would be so obvious who the liked and who they only felt obliged to invite.

Oafley Jones · 08-04-2021 6:11pm

I was an altar boy at a wedding where the groom was stood up. Thought the bride was running late and then in came the bridesmaid up to yer man. There was no real dramatics, a bit of noise and everyone just awkwardly wandered off.

This was also one those unusual weddings during school time. So being the trust worthy types we were, we just ran to back to class. Normally our teacher had very little patience for weddings that interrupted our education, but when we got back he wanted to talk about nothing else.

TheValeyard · 08-04-2021 6:11pm

Hmmmm

I'm so out of practice with drinking that with all the weddings coming up in 2022 and 2023, I fear I could be the cause of these stories. Best to stick to one or two me thinks.

Ruining a wedding

Comments