Do dating 'leagues' exist?

harrymcgowan · 15-12-2020 8:02pm #1

Some say they do and others don't. Basically can an unattractive, low earning guy score an attractive high earning woman?

GarIT · 15-12-2020 8:03pm

Different people value different things. So people only like attractive people, some people only like funny people.

There are also people who won't date people earning under certain incomes or in a different class to them.

I've certainly had people ghost or end the conversation when I've said I'm from Tallaght (you couldn't tell by talking to me)

Sam Hain · 15-12-2020 8:05pm

GarIT wrote: »

Different people value different things. So people only like attractive people, some people only like funny people.

Bet you think you're funny.

Henryq. · 15-12-2020 8:05pm

harrymcgowan wrote: »

Some say they do and others don't. Basically can an unattractive, low earning guy score an attractive high earning woman?

There's no League as such

Attraction is instinctive

If you're good looking and sexy women are attracted

GarIT · 15-12-2020 8:06pm

Sam Hain wrote: »

Bet you think you're funny.

No, I know I'm not

TuringBot47 · 15-12-2020 8:13pm

Henryq. wrote: »

If you're good looking and sexy women are attracted

Attracted is different to thinking of them as long term partners.

Women may be attracted to the alpha male types, but whether they'd trust them not to cheat/stray, consider that they're be happy with them long term is a different story. I'd say there's a lot of women that wouldn't want to have to keep going to the gym/getting work done to look good for a model man.
Or would slowly go into a control freak breakdown of insecurity as they aged and the guy stayed looking good.

So usually there's a compromise in the long run.
The solid stable types, earners and mature ones can win out for marriage.

hynesie08 · 15-12-2020 8:15pm

Leagues exist, but promotion is possible....

TuringBot47 · 15-12-2020 8:17pm

hynesie08 wrote: »

Leagues exist, but promotion is possible....

Yeah, especially if the women hit early/mid thirties... that ticking biological clock can get you a good second-hand bargain. Like a classic car.

.anon. · 15-12-2020 8:18pm

'Leagues' only exist in people's very narrow minds. But there are sadly a lot of narrow minded people out there. Personally, I wouldn't be attracted to the type of person who felt that my job or my earnings made me 'not good enough' for her anyway.

hynesie08 · 15-12-2020 8:19pm

TuringBot47 wrote: »

Yeah, especially if the women hit early/mid thirties... that ticking biological clock can get you a good second-hand bargain. Like a classic car.

Wrong mentality, never assume they're settling, just realising....

SEPT 23 1989 · 15-12-2020 8:20pm

TuringBot47 wrote: »

Attracted is different to thinking of them as long term partners.

Women may be attracted to the alpha male types, but whether they'd trust them not to cheat/stray, consider that they're be happy with them long term is a different story. I'd say there's a lot of women that wouldn't want to have to keep going to the gym/getting work done to look good for a model man.
Or would slowly go into a control freak breakdown of insecurity as they aged and the guy stayed looking good.

So usually there's a compromise in the long run.
The solid stable types, earners and mature ones can win out for marriage.

Can one not be alpha,solid,stable,mature and and big earner?

Sardonicat · 15-12-2020 8:20pm

GarIT wrote: »

Different people value different things. So people only like attractive people, some people only like funny people.

There are also people who won't date people earning under certain incomes or in a different class to them.

I've certainly had people ghost or end the conversation when I've said I'm from Tallaght (you couldn't tell by talking to me)

Jsysus! At least they didn't waste your time. Who needs that!?

colm_mcm · 15-12-2020 8:21pm

Welcome back Mr. F

Galwayguy35 · 15-12-2020 8:21pm

There will always be outliers but most of the time the tall handsome man will be the one the good looking woman wants to end up with.

PopZiggy · 15-12-2020 8:23pm

harrymcgowan wrote: »

Some say they do and others don't. Basically can an unattractive, low earning guy score an attractive high earning woman?

Unlikely unless you are watching a disney movie

TuringBot47 · 15-12-2020 8:29pm

harrymcgowan wrote: »

Basically can an unattractive, low earning guy score an attractive high earning woman?

Depends on what you mean by "score".
You can hold up cardboard cards with the numbers 0 - 10 as they walk by you making zero eye contact.

Mrs OBumble · 15-12-2020 8:29pm

hynesie08 wrote: »

Leagues exist, but promotion is possible....

So is relegation .

PopZiggy · 15-12-2020 8:40pm

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

So is relegation .

A lot of conference league players in Coppers of if I recall

Hamachi · 15-12-2020 8:48pm

.anon. wrote: »

'Leagues' only exist in people's very narrow minds. But there are sadly a lot of narrow minded people out there. Personally, I wouldn't be attracted to the type of person who felt that my job or my earnings made me 'not good enough' for her anyway.

I take it you’re single?

.anon. · 15-12-2020 9:30pm

Hamachi wrote: »

I take it you’re single?

Right now, yes. But I haven't always been single. And I have enough self-confidence to believe that I probably won't be single forever either, because I have things to offer a potential partner outside of being wealthy and tall, dark and handsome. Past experiences have taught me that women aren't all the same, and that some of them are, for whatever reason, attracted to me.

I take it you're single too, and you blame outside factors for that? Damn those women, only being attracted to tall, good-looking men with deep pockets instead of nice little guys like me.

Church on Tuesday · 15-12-2020 9:41pm

GarIT wrote: »

Different people value different things. So people only like attractive people, some people only like funny people.

There are also people who won't date people earning under certain incomes or in a different class to them.

I've certainly had people ghost or end the conversation when I've said I'm from Tallaght (you couldn't tell by talking to me)

Sounds like you had a lucky escape.

PopZiggy · 15-12-2020 9:42pm

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

Sounds like you had a lucky escape.

Friend from limerick used experience the same BS

hynesie08 · 15-12-2020 9:42pm

Mrs OBumble wrote: »

So is relegation .

Oh absolutely, and as a fat ugly prick with an amazing personality and a fairly hefty member, I've been up and down the table more than West brom.......

completedit · 15-12-2020 9:47pm

Ofc they exist but it's not so simple as purely being about looks. An ugly guy can get hot girls if he has status. The guy won't be a low status man that we would think about when we imagine an average guy. Some men just have something about them that enables them escape the tyranny of a a subpar face. A girl having status will not really change her standing.

Church on Tuesday · 15-12-2020 9:48pm

.anon. wrote: »

'Leagues' only exist in people's very narrow minds. But there are sadly a lot of narrow minded people out there. Personally, I wouldn't be attracted to the type of person who felt that my job or my earnings made me 'not good enough' for her anyway.

Ah yes, the radical idea of self respect, independence and being comfortable in your own skin.

When certain posters prattle on here about "Alpha Males" they miss entirely that the above is the very essence of that fairly redundant terminology by modern standards and not instead having to be a certain height, pay grade level/status or body shape.

frag420 · 15-12-2020 9:50pm

GarIT wrote: »

No, I know I'm not

Joke thread that way>>>>>

Sardonicat · 15-12-2020 9:55pm

Church on Tuesday wrote: »

Ah yes, the radical idea of self respect, independent and being comfortable in your own skin.

When certain posters prattle on here about "Alpha Males" they miss entirely that the above is the very essence of that fairly redundant terminology by modern standards and not instead having to be a certain height, pay grade level/status or body shape.

Without a doubt the most attractive trait in men and women. And the great thing about is, those who have yet to achieve or recognise this and sneer, insult etc, have become deeply unattractive and undesirable to you, regardless of their looks, status, paygrade.

Kia_Kaha · 15-12-2020 9:59pm

"Men are like bank accounts: without any money, they attract no interest"

Church on Tuesday · 15-12-2020 10:09pm

Sardonicat wrote: »

Without a doubt the most attractive trait in men and women. And the great thing about is, those who have yet to achieve or recognise this and sneer, insult etc, have become deeply unattractive and undesirable to you, regardless of their looks, status, paygrade.

There you go. Other posters take note. And yes, it's true of both genders; I more or less expect a gf or future wife to be the same and it has been the case in the past. It's supposed to be fun and it's extremely important to be with happy, fulfilled, secure fun people.

Those people who have a chip on their shoulder or are overbearingly insecure about whatever or just plain rude/bitter are simply massively undesirable and it really doesn't matter how objectively good looking or successful you are.

Surreptitious · 15-12-2020 10:30pm

Not another thread like this please. This tall sh!t will crop up again and overweight women etc. Just not able for it.

Tig98 · 15-12-2020 10:36pm

I think most people who believe in leagues haven't been in love. Leagues do exist but not half to the extent people let on. Once you've been in love and you see someone and all their imperfections and completely accept them its a bit demystifying about apparent successfulness or attractiveness.

Thats why I dont really bother with dating apps anymore. I tend to judge profiles on how interesting they seem and how compatible we'd be. Sure attraction plays a role and you have to be somewhat good looking, but I find most typically "unattractive" people just have really poor self presentation. You can be overweight with acne etc but that doesn't stop you from minding other aspects of your appearance such as hair, nails, posture, dress etc

I dated a guy for two years and they were two fantastic years. We met on a night out and he was really charismatic and got my attention, when to be honest if I had seen his tinder profile I would've swiped left. If you love someone you see past supposed imperfections, and its really eye opening.

Hamachi · 15-12-2020 10:42pm

.anon. wrote: »

Right now, yes. But I haven't always been single. And I have enough self-confidence to believe that I probably won't be single forever either, because I have things to offer a potential partner outside of being wealthy and tall, dark and handsome. Past experiences have taught me that women aren't all the same, and that some of them are, for whatever reason, attracted to me.

I take it you're single too, and you blame outside factors for that? Damn those women, only being attracted to tall, good-looking men with deep pockets instead of nice little guys like me.

Nah, I’m married for a few years now. It might be a little bewildering for my wife if I started ranting about the looks or wealth of other men, but you never know I guess.

Thankfully never had any droughts in that department. However, it’s been my experience that those with lofty, high-minded ideals around the dating preferences of others, are often terminally single.

I’m not saying that some women (and men) prioritizing a fat wallet or model-like looks is a good thing. I’m just not sure why you’re getting so exercised about it.

Never mind fella, you’re flawless, non-materialistic, non-judgemental princess is sure to materialize...

one day.

Tig98 · 15-12-2020 10:42pm

.anon. wrote: »

'Leagues' only exist in people's very narrow minds. But there are sadly a lot of narrow minded people out there. Personally, I wouldn't be attracted to the type of person who felt that my job or my earnings made me 'not good enough' for her anyway.

I dont necessarily agree. The problem is the mindset, not the income. Ive worked in customer service roles and there can be great camaraderie between staff and the days pass quickly but obviously the pay isn't great.

If you're happy in your job and making ends meet then its not an issue, all work is admirable, and life is about more than money. If you have to drag yourself out of bed five days a week to go to a poor paying job you absolutely cant stand? Then thats an issue....

Lynn Door · 15-12-2020 10:46pm

I dont think there is "leagues" just personal preference.
Some like tall/short, fat/skinny, blonde/dark/red whatever. Loads of different variants and I think once that initial preference is ticked if you like, the fact that a tall skinny model falls for a fat ginger because he is her type she is called a gold digger or vice versa? Just my opinion

Mad_maxx · 15-12-2020 10:52pm

harrymcgowan wrote: »

Some say they do and others don't. Basically can an unattractive, low earning guy score an attractive high earning woman?

yes of course , hollywood charge you ten euro in to see it

Blondini · 15-12-2020 10:53pm

Good looking people are treated better.
Good looking people match with other good looking people.

Mad_maxx · 15-12-2020 10:54pm

TuringBot47 wrote: »

Yeah, especially if the women hit early/mid thirties... that ticking biological clock can get you a good second-hand bargain. Like a classic car.

all the classics are taken by mid thirties , only micras left

Hamachi · 15-12-2020 10:55pm

Blondini wrote: »

Good looking people are treated better.
Good looking people match with other good looking people.

We have problems too you know

Lynn Door · 15-12-2020 10:56pm

Mad_maxx wrote: »

all the classics are taken by mid thirties , only micras left

I think you will find cars in their mid thirties have only reached their peak. Its a shame you havent had the experience.

Loafing Oaf · 15-12-2020 11:01pm

More of a knockout competition, the dating game, IMO...

harrymcgowan · 15-12-2020 11:02pm

Lynn Door wrote: »

I dont think there is "leagues" just personal preference.
Some like tall/short, fat/skinny, blonde/dark/red whatever. Loads of different variants and I think once that initial preference is ticked if you like, the fact that a tall skinny model falls for a fat ginger because he is her type she is called a gold digger or vice versa? Just my opinion

I wouldn't say leagues are literally defined but in a vague sense, they exist.

There is a filter theory in psychology

It's very unlikely that a woman from Donnybrook would date and marry a guy from Ballymun. Not impossible just unlikely. People want to date those of similar socioeconomic status/area they live in.

Similarly, despite how forward thinking todays society is in terms of gender, most people still expect sexual dimorphism in relationships i.e. the man is taller, older and the woman is younger, shorter. Being a short man will hamper your dating chances, not completely but still hamper it.

Lynn Door · 15-12-2020 11:08pm

harrymcgowan wrote: »

I wouldn't say leagues are literally defined but in a vague sense, they exist.

There is a filter theory in psychology

It's very unlikely that a woman from Donnybrook would date and marry a guy from Ballymun. Not impossible just unlikely. People want to date those of similar socioeconomic status/area they live in.

Similarly, despite how forward thinking todays society is in terms of gender, most people still expect sexual dimorphism in relationships i.e. the man is taller, older and the woman is younger, shorter. Being a short man will hamper your dating chances, not completely but still hamper it.

Well I would be inclined to agree and disagree.
Different diagraphics...attraction can overcome.
The sexual dimorphism you describe is something that is internalised and may "hamper your dating chances" I agree but only if it is your preference.
I may say I want a 5'1" bald man with bo from Ballymun. Kinda limits my choices so I branch out from there. But I appreciate your comments.

Mad_maxx · 15-12-2020 11:14pm

Lynn Door wrote: »

I think you will find cars in their mid thirties have only reached their peak. Its a shame you havent had the experience.

thats different , those women are largely still unavailable despite being at their sexual peak

anewme · 15-12-2020 11:22pm

Surreptitious wrote: »

Not another thread like this please. This tall sh!t will crop up again and overweight women etc. Just not able for it.

It's getting a bit OTT.

Just aother thread to bash women. There has been a lot of them lately.

bnt · 15-12-2020 11:22pm

For starters, you have to be over six feet tall, if not you should have grown harder.

Hamachi · 15-12-2020 11:22pm

Mad_maxx wrote: »

a lot of people are forced to settle , i adore my fiance but im not really that physically attracted to her

Seriously?

No judgement, but I don’t think I could be with a woman long term if I didn’t want to jump her bones regularly.

Dial Hard · 15-12-2020 11:23pm

Mad_maxx wrote: »

a lot of people are forced to settle , i adore my fiance but im not really that physically attracted to her , love everything else about her and thats enough , not like im the catch of the century either

Jesus.

Threads and posts like this both depress the fcuk out of me and make me very thankful for my single, child free (by choice), financially independent and pretty much entirely happy status.

anewme · 15-12-2020 11:28pm

Dial Hard wrote: »

Jesus.

Threads and posts like this both depress the fcuk out of me and make me very thankful for my single, child free (by choice), financially independent and pretty much entirely happy status.

A lot to be said for it.

Better to live your own like, than "settle".

Imagine living like that, jesus is right, you got in before me.

Not everyone has to confirm, more to life.

Mickey_James · 15-12-2020 11:31pm

Good way to know leagues exist is go somewhere you are exotic and stand out from the regulars.

Like here in Ireland, the argie women go mad for me. I am on tinder and I can't get a match with an irish woman, it's all south americans and many of them are crackers!

Then, you know how goodlooking Irish men feel like when they have goodlooking irish women after them.

Mimon · 15-12-2020 11:31pm

TuringBot47 wrote: »

Attracted is different to thinking of them as long term partners.

Women may be attracted to the alpha male types, but whether they'd trust them not to cheat/stray, consider that they're be happy with them long term is a different story. I'd say there's a lot of women that wouldn't want to have to keep going to the gym/getting work done to look good for a model man.
Or would slowly go into a control freak breakdown of insecurity as they aged and the guy stayed looking good.

So usually there's a compromise in the long run.
The solid stable types, earners and mature ones can win out for marriage.

Have read that women can want the stable type but will want to get knocked up by the alpha male type and hope the stable type will not realise and raise the kid as his own.

Before I'm pounced on by the more sensitive types it is all deeply engrained in us to come up with ways of passing on our genes and this is a great strategy.

Any male offspring will likely inherit the alpha male genes and thus will have a greater chance of being attractive to women and thus pass on the mothers genes to a third generation.

The fact that he would be reared by a stable type means that there is a greater chance he will get to reproductive age in the first place.

.anon. · 15-12-2020 11:39pm

Hamachi wrote: »

However, it’s been my experience that those with lofty, high-minded ideals around the dating preferences of others, are often terminally single.

I think most of us are attracted to people with similar values to our own. And I don't think mine are any more 'lofty' or 'high-minded' than those of someone who prioritises wealth, height, social status, educational attainment or whatever. Based on previous experiences, I don't think I'll be terminally single. I do wonder about those who believe there is a hierarchy that places them out of other people's leagues - I suspect many of them will remain single. Or else, even worse, they'll settle for someone, anyone, because it's better than ending up on their own. It's great that you have a wife, by the way.

Do dating 'leagues' exist?

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