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11-01-2019, 11:52   #61
Larbre34
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Oh man, this thread is starting my weekend off so well, im coughing with the laughter here. 'Box of shoes out of an attic' may have broken me altogether!

I feel quite fortunate that im not squeamish about such things. Obviously i dont endanger my own health, but ive been able to relieve myself in some horrifying surroundings at times. I remember being at a concert long ago in the old Croke Park. The facilities were dire at the best of times, but this day when the Guinness and undercooked chip van food made its presence felt, i was able to (had to) top off a toilet whose contents was already above the rim without causing a landslide. Ah, memories.

Ive very seldom been in a women's bog and certainly never at a busy time, but the way my wife describes them they sound much worse than the Gents when they get out of hand.
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11-01-2019, 11:56   #62
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Might be speaking for myself here, but there are few pleasures in life greater than heading into the jacks in someplace like a Truck Stop, and absolutely laying King Kong's finger down into the bowl.

The sense of pride one gets from knowing you've blocked a toilet intended for a big trucker's arse is immense
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11-01-2019, 11:58   #63
Bam Bam Mickey
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I love my toilet, because we’ve been through so much **** together.
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11-01-2019, 12:01   #64
tigerboon
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As a child after learning to finally do a "stand-up pee" I quickly discovered the joys of what I called "the wee wee race". Got years of great entertainment out of it as a young lad.

Basically when you're standing over the bowl taking a whizz, mid-flow so to speak you then flush the toilet. The "race" is to see whether you can complete your pee before the toilet stops flushing. Ah, simpler times! Doesn't work anymore with modern jacks bowls being so fast, thus robbing an entire generation of this wonderful experience.

Playstations now!!
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11-01-2019, 12:39   #65
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Might be speaking for myself here, but there are few pleasures in life greater than heading into the jacks in someplace like a Truck Stop, and absolutely laying King Kong's finger down into the bowl.

The sense of pride one gets from knowing you've blocked a toilet intended for a big trucker's arse is immense
Do you leave it just there without flushing? Maybe put a wizard’s hat on the top of it? Exorcising the demon of dinner past is all well and good, but surely some standards apply??
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11-01-2019, 12:41   #66
TheIrishGrover
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1:30 in


Last edited by TheIrishGrover; 11-01-2019 at 12:46.
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11-01-2019, 12:44   #67
Deebles McBeebles
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Might be speaking for myself here, but there are few pleasures in life greater than heading into the jacks in someplace like a Truck Stop, and absolutely laying King Kong's finger down into the bowl.

The sense of pride one gets from knowing you've blocked a toilet intended for a big trucker's arse is immense
My mate once brought a few of us into the jacks at a house party to see what he called "The Brown Anaconda". F*cking thing was standing up in the toilet, almost looking at us.
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11-01-2019, 12:48   #68
whisky_galore
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My mate once brought a few of us into the jacks at a house party to see what he called "The Brown Anaconda". F*cking thing was standing up in the toilet, almost looking at us.
Stay classy.
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11-01-2019, 12:48   #69
Ush1
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Do you leave it just there without flushing? Maybe put a wizard’s hat on the top of it? Exorcising the demon of dinner past is all well and good, but surely some standards apply??
If you work in an office with women and men with small single cubicle toilets, wait till late on Friday evening when everyone is gone home, head into the ladies toilet. Lay an ungodly length of pipe and then close the lid, no flush. Let it fester there and stew nicely for the weekend and whichever lady comes in first on Monday gets a lovely greeting.

Works best in summer.
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11-01-2019, 12:52   #70
gerrybbadd
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Do you leave it just there without flushing? Maybe put a wizard’s hat on the top of it? Exorcising the demon of dinner past is all well and good, but surely some standards apply??
Ah ya would of course flush. Sure how would you know you'd suitably blocked the toilet without having flushed first?
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11-01-2019, 12:54   #71
gerrybbadd
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If you work in an office with women and men with small single cubicle toilets, wait till late on Friday evening when everyone is gone home, head into the ladies toilet. Lay an ungodly length of pipe and then close the lid, no flush. Let it fester there and stew nicely for the weekend and whichever lady comes in first on Monday gets a lovely greeting.

Works best in summer.
Stick 2 of those Googly eye stickers on top, for comedic effect. Laughs all round
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11-01-2019, 13:08   #72
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My mate once brought a few of us into the jacks at a house party to see what he called "The Brown Anaconda". F*cking thing was standing up in the toilet, almost looking at us.
Sh!t happens


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11-01-2019, 13:13   #73
blanch152
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Ah, OP - I can tell you have never travelled on Indian railways?

Or used a public loo in Vietnam or China?

I've seen some rough ones in France, too.

So lay off the knocking "Irishmen" -

No man can aim a willy accurately down the loo (as far as I can tell, having cleaned many)

Its funny, they'll boast of being a sharpshooter with snooker cues or guns or video games, but a plain excretory organ and a bowl eighteen inches across, from a distance of a few inches, they still can't hit the bullseye.

One of those Life Mysteries.

I remember being in Asia and being told to follow my nose if I wanted to find a public toilet. Cubicle with a hole in the ground and nothing else, no urinal, no bowl to sit on, no toilet paper and no facility to wash hands. You learned fairly quickly to hold on until back in the hotel.
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11-01-2019, 13:34   #74
JohnnyFlash
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Originally Posted by Ush1 View Post
If you work in an office with women and men with small single cubicle toilets, wait till late on Friday evening when everyone is gone home, head into the ladies toilet. Lay an ungodly length of pipe and then close the lid, no flush. Let it fester there and stew nicely for the weekend and whichever lady comes in first on Monday gets a lovely greeting.

Works best in summer.

So you just ‘pinch off some spine’ and leave it floating in its watery grave for the weekend? Disgraceful behaviour.
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11-01-2019, 13:37   #75
Ush1
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So you just ‘pinch off some spine’ and leave it floating in its watery grave for the weekend? Disgraceful behaviour.
This bad boy won't float. You're talking a high-fibre, dense, telescopic baton of a turd. Thing will be halfway up the U bend.
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