How long do you guys expect to wait before sex?

ILoveYourVibes · 07-12-2019 7:48am #1

Ok so i get people have one night stands and sex on a first date that can turn into a relationship.

I get there is no SET time.

But how long is too long??

I would expect to wait like 6 to 8 weeks. Maybe shorter if we are seeing each other a lot or we are just feeling like we are a couple etc.

Is that mental?:(

Yeah if i was really taken with a guy ..it could be shorter ..but on average ..it takes a while for me to get comfortable emotionally with someone

Samuri Suicide · 07-12-2019 8:13am

How long did you and mr_fegelien wait??

Yamanoto · 07-12-2019 8:23am

I'd say he's waiting for you to step away from boards for the three-and-a-half minutes it'll take him to empty the nut purse.

Aint Eazy Being Cheezy · 07-12-2019 8:33am

Creepazoid wrote: »

Any guy wants sex as soon as they meat a women on a first date. While your talking all that is going through a guys head is banging you. He is also thinking what can he say so he can bang you as soon as possible.
While your talking and he's nodding along he's thinking about banging you.

I'm sorry but if a woman wants to wait 6-8 weeks it's a no no for me. It just tells me their is no spark there and would imply to me there will be further issues down the line. If the woman seriously likes the guy she should put out, after three dates I'd expect a blow job at least and stinky fingers

You’ve the right username anyway

listermint · 07-12-2019 8:33am

Is sex not something for both of you to decide and want ?

Mad concept altogether I know...

Speak Now · 07-12-2019 8:34am

Dont expect sex.....respect sex.

myshirt · 07-12-2019 8:35am

Yamanoto wrote: »

I'd say he's waiting for you to step away from boards for the three-and-a-half minutes it'll take him to empty the nut purse.

Brag much?

Shefwedfan · 07-12-2019 8:35am

Creepazoid wrote: »

Any guy wants sex as soon as they meat a women on a first date. While your talking all that is going through a guys head is banging you. He is also thinking what can he say so he can bang you as soon as possible.
While your talking and he's nodding along he's thinking about banging you.

I'm sorry but if a woman wants to wait 6-8 weeks it's a no no for me. It just tells me their is no spark there and would imply to me there will be further issues down the line. If the woman seriously likes the guy she should put out, after three dates I'd expect a blow job at least and stinky fingers

So how long are you planning on been a virgin?

Sky King · 07-12-2019 8:37am

Youd have some case of blueball after 8 weeks

Omackeral · 07-12-2019 8:38am

About a month, or in terms OP would understand, 6,421 posts.

myshirt · 07-12-2019 8:51am

6 to 8 weeks is a long time and wouldn't reflect normalised human sexual behaviour. There's a couple of reasons why it's the case though and top of that list is it probably points to underlying emotional instability or insecurities which you need to sort out. The way to sort that out is not by stringing a guy along. It's quite selfish. A guy is not your tool to fill those voids. He is a person too and deserves respect as much as you do.

And at the other end of the list is simply that you are not a match. If so that's grand, don't flog a dead horse.

The way to sort it out is not by stringing a guy along. And the way to definitely not sort it out is by knocking boots because there is a societal pressure to do so after X amount of time. Take care of yourself first and foremost. Focus on developing friendships and relationships and self esteem. The rest will follow.

s7ryf3925pivug · 07-12-2019 9:00am

myshirt wrote: »

snip

wtf that's sick and not funny.

LirW · 07-12-2019 9:08am

myshirt wrote: »

6 to 8 weeks is a long time and wouldn't reflect normalised human sexual behaviour. There's a couple of reasons why it's the case though and top of that list is it probably points to underlying emotional instability or insecurities which you need to sort out. The way to sort that out is not by stringing a guy along. It's quite selfish. A guy is not your tool to fill those voids. He is a person too and deserves respect as much as you do.

And at the other end of the list is simply that you are not a match. If so that's grand, don't flog a dead horse.

The way to sort it out is not by stringing a guy along. And the way to definitely not sort it out is by knocking boots because there is a societal pressure to do so after X amount of time. Take care of yourself first and foremost. Focus on developing friendships and relationships and self esteem. The rest will follow.

Nobody owes anyone anything sexually and people have different sex drives, there is not one normal. There are people that aren't into casual hook-ups that are perfectly content with who they are.

These threads always follow the same caveman logic: "All men brainless horny stallions, all women dried up, frigid bores."

Yamanoto · 07-12-2019 9:13am

Leia Embarrassed Rum wrote: »

Later I realised you can just take full physical control during sex and not have to tolerate being touched too much at all.

You mean sort yourself out?

Sure your partner was delighted to be relegated to a mere observer.

Holly13 · 07-12-2019 9:18am

myshirt wrote: »

6 to 8 weeks is a long time and wouldn't reflect normalised human sexual behaviour. There's a couple of reasons why it's the case though and top of that list is it probably points to underlying emotional instability or insecurities which you need to sort out. The way to sort that out is not by stringing a guy along. It's quite selfish. A guy is not your tool to fill those voids. He is a person too and deserves respect as much as you do.

And at the other end of the list is simply that you are not a match. If so that's grand, don't flog a dead horse.

The way to sort it out is not by stringing a guy along. And the way to definitely not sort it out is by knocking boots because there is a societal pressure to do so after X amount of time. Take care of yourself first and foremost. Focus on developing friendships and relationships and self esteem. The rest will follow.

6 to 8 weeks is not necessarily a long time. It depends how much time you spend with the person and if you knew them beforehand you started dating. You could be “dating” for 6 weeks and barely see the person

LirW · 07-12-2019 9:58am

anewme wrote: »

Its like winning Euromillions without having to buy a ticket.

At least that's what he wants to believe

banie01 · 07-12-2019 10:01am

Samuri Suicide wrote: »

How long did you and mr_fegelien wait??

Jesus!
That's put thoughts of an ILYV and MF offspring into my head and it has terrified me!

Imagine, the lucidity of ILYV combined with the outright yet strangely compelling stupidity of MF?!?!

That's frankly enough to have me turn into Herod!

DARK-KNIGHT · 07-12-2019 10:07am

ILoveYourVibes wrote: »

Ok so i get people have one night stands and sex on a first date that can turn into a relationship.

I get there is no SET time.

But how long is too long??

I would expect to wait like 6 to 8 weeks. Maybe shorter if we are seeing each other a lot or we are just feeling like we are a couple etc.

Is that mental?:(

Yeah if i was really taken with a guy ..it could be shorter ..but on average ..it takes a while for me to get comfortable emotionally with someone

Considering you have over 7000 posts in 7 months I'm surprised you have time to date someone let alone think about letting him throw the mortar mix into your mixer lol

Jesus have a conversation with the guy your dating and put down the phone things might progress the way you want then

JohnnyFlash · 07-12-2019 10:22am

At least 3 drinks.

Reviews and Books Galore · 07-12-2019 11:00am

myshirt wrote: »

From your son?

Jesus, what type of thread is this?

What are you insinuating?

TheBoyConor · 07-12-2019 11:01am

Don't wait, just lob it in there boss.

the beer revolu · 07-12-2019 11:03am

If she's a virgin, patience is called for.
3 months has been my experience.
But you build up to it. It's not like there's nothing happening for 3 months.

Alecto · 07-12-2019 11:22am

A few dates I suppose. I have a weird relationship with sex due to my past so if I want to be in a relationship with someone I tend to wait, I've found that having sex right away leads to a more casual arrangement. I've had enough of that to last a lifetime.

Vita nova · 07-12-2019 11:35am

If you were to take your cues from American TV and films then it's usually the third date, sometimes know as the third date rule.

Mad_maxx · 07-12-2019 11:48am

six weeks isnt long at all

IAMAMORON · 07-12-2019 11:53am

The word " wait " sticks out like a sore thumb.

As soon as sex gets evaluated it gets destroyed.

All the best sex I have ever had has come without an expectation or a demand or pretension. I have never felt on a " clock" or that I was being evaluated.

Anytime I ever come across any bullshít with a partner I walk, not that dramatically or anything, but if does not feel right I am out. I am a hot blooded male, but I have turned down some hot babes in the past because I simply felt they hadn't a clue what was going on, in hindsight it turns out I have dodged a few bullets.

Keep it natural and fun. No one should be expected to have a " time limit " or set amount of dates before putting out. The whole point of dating is getting to know someone better. Treat it that way. It is great opportunity to find someone you might care about and maybe have a future with.

Sex should be exciting and enjoyable, not some bland requirement you read about in a magazine.

touts · 07-12-2019 12:05pm

My experience varies between 5 hours and 5 weeks. When you both want to sleep together that's when you're ready.

Gynoid · 07-12-2019 12:08pm

If it is going to take more than 3 minutes after I wake him up and wiggle my eyebrows for him to start responding then, sorry, I'm out of there. Come on, like. Breakfast is calling and I'm starving.

Rufeo · 07-12-2019 12:08pm

Seriously, the standard of thread on here these days.....mega yawn.

07-12-2019 12:20pm

Rufeo wrote: »

Seriously, the standard of thread on here these days.....mega yawn.

You do know there's no requirement to read them all.

Church on Tuesday · 07-12-2019 12:31pm

Usually after the third date mr_fegelien Vibes.

cj maxx · 07-12-2019 12:35pm

Vibes, what have you done with Mr F ? I kinda miss him.
Come back MrF xxxxx

Church on Tuesday · 07-12-2019 12:37pm

cjmc wrote: »

Vibes, what have you done with Mr F ? I kinda miss him.
Come back MrF xxxxx

He's back visiting Africa obvs.

bucketybuck · 07-12-2019 12:39pm

Anybody putting a timeline on when they are going to "allow" sex is messed up in my opinion. Either you want to bang each other or you don't, attraction is supposed to be spontaneous, not just one part of a ten step guide.

Frankly, if a girl said she wanted to wait 8 weeks I would probably be gone. Not because I can't wait 8 weeks, but because she obviously has deeper issues there and my days of entertaining that teenage drama bull**** are long, long in the past.

Mister Vain · 07-12-2019 1:24pm

About 5 minutes after the cash has been handed over.

Loafing Oaf · 07-12-2019 1:24pm

OSI wrote: »

a fanny like the cliffs of moher

Yamanoto wrote: »

empty the nut purse.

DARK-KNIGHT wrote: »

throw the mortar mix into your mixer

20Wheel · 07-12-2019 1:34pm

Third date. That's the rule.

And if they're a 'not the on the third date' type then you're not a 'let's wait' type either.

Third date or call me when you're up for it.

No more food excursions.

Raconteuse · 07-12-2019 1:41pm

The "rule"?

Just have sex when ye both want to. Crikey!

Loafing Oaf · 07-12-2019 1:48pm

Raconteuse wrote: »

The "rule"?

Just have sex when ye both want to. Crikey!

OP seems to be afraid hanging on till she 'really wants to' might be putting some guys off...

Widdershins · 07-12-2019 2:08pm

I had one (what I intended to be) one night stand and he wanted a relationship. So if that's what worries you, it doesn't seem to be an issue for men. They'd be a bit hypocritical it was, but sure, double standards are not new.

Alecto · 07-12-2019 2:43pm

I'm surprised so many people see waiting as a control thing. When I've wanted to wait it's because I like someone and don't want them to feck off as soon as we've had sex.

chrissb8 · 07-12-2019 3:01pm

Reviews and Books Galore wrote: »

What are you insinuating?

That your grammar and clarity of language is not all that great leading to your previous post being construed the wrong way.

07-12-2019 3:13pm

Insert Brain Here wrote: »

I always try to get sex on the same night I've met her. I've become pretty adept at beating last minute resistance.

I'd say you're more adept at beating yourself off.

the beer revolu · 07-12-2019 3:16pm

Alecto wrote: »

I'm surprised so many people see waiting as a control thing. When I've wanted to wait it's because I like someone and don't want them to feck off as soon as we've had sex.

Why would they feck off, unless the sex was terrible?

Jenneke87 · 07-12-2019 3:19pm

the beer revolu wrote: »

Why would they feck off, unless the sex was terrible?

Because they got what they want and are moving on to the next conquest..

Loafing Oaf · 07-12-2019 3:22pm

Deleted User wrote: »

I'd say you're more adept at beating yourself off.

I wouldn't be so skeptical, "beating last minute resistance" has got a lot easier since rohypnol became widely available...

the beer revolu · 07-12-2019 3:22pm

Jenneke87 wrote: »

Because they got what they want er and are living in to the next conquest..

And making them wait will make them want you more? I don't get that.

When I was in the game if I was into a woman, the only reason sex on the first night would drive me away was if it was bad sex.
I might move on for other reasons but never because she had sex with me!

07-12-2019 3:25pm

Insert Brain Here wrote: »

I always try to get sex on the same night I've met her. I've become pretty adept at beating last minute resistance.

Proper order. You should get what you paid for.

lawred2 · 07-12-2019 3:28pm

OSI wrote: »

I only date people I’ve had sex with. Imagine waiting 2 months to find out they’ve a fanny like the cliffs of moher or a Donald Trump dick.

Yeah an orange dick would be weird alright

lawred2 · 07-12-2019 3:30pm

Long_Straddle wrote: »

Women tend to put men into two categories, lovers and providers. Women have sex with the lovers without needing anything in return, in fact they tend to break rules for the lover types. For the provider types, women tend to make rules, sex is transactional in nature, he gets sex every now and then if he is a good boy.

What site did you get that off?

Pherekydes · 07-12-2019 3:36pm

It depends on whether the post delivery ward is private or public. And whether she's had many stitches.

How long do you guys expect to wait before sex?

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