2020 Bride/Groom

ilovesmybrick · 19-05-2020 3:32pm

SozBbz wrote: »

Simon Harris was on Pat Kenny this morning and the subject of weddings came up. He indicated small weddings would be allowed after July 20th (phase 4) wiht close friends and family but wouldnt put a number on it (he did say 100, 80 etc is not small), just that they were still working on it.

Might be worth listening back to it.

From about 13 minutes in on Harris interview on the Newstalk website.

Absolutely no information of use from him. They apparently never thought of what they consider small or large etc. Same for how long the 14 day quarantine will be in place.

Shelli2 · 19-05-2020 4:38pm

I heard that, but it's completely useless and vague for most people, and still doesn't let us know when things can be booked.

I know ours would definitely be considered small though, we only want 10 in attendance including Bride, Groom and Registrar.
Then the other guests: 2 mother's, our 2 teen children, my brother and our 2 witnesses.

My future MIL will throw us a mini BBQ celebration afterwards, she has an absolutely huge garden and we'll have 20 guests max in attendance. (Plenty of room for social distancing)

Neyite · 19-05-2020 5:30pm

SozBbz wrote: »

Simon Harris was on Pat Kenny this morning and the subject of weddings came up. He indicated small weddings would be allowed after July 20th (phase 4) wiht close friends and family but wouldnt put a number on it (he did say 100, 80 etc is not small), just that they were still working on it.

Might be worth listening back to it.

This is what's pissing me off most about it - this assumption that we all want a wedding with 100 guests so they are being vague so as not to incur the wrath of someone who's booked and paid for a hotel reception for 150.

We know our wedding plans have gone to sh!t. Duh, Simon. We've all known that since mid March. We aren't a herd of mindless bridzillas determined to have our day at all costs including to the lives of our friends and family.

We just want to know a time-frame. Tell us not to have a wedding of over 5/10/20 guest in 2020, grand, we can work with that or decide what to do from there.
Tell us that we can do the paperwork side of things from a certain date and let us book an appointment slot, or give us an alternative socially distanced way of completing the paperwork so we can legally marry.
Tell us when registrars will be back doing weddings with 2x witnesses so we can decide to do it that way or not.
At the moment we've no options, and no time frame except he's saying that after July 20th small weddings will be allowed. How's that going to happen if the registration offices stay closed until August? Because all I've heard from ours is that they will reopen after the pandemic...whenever that will be.

I'm so sick of them thinking that the only thing we care about is how many people we can cram into a ballroom.

nikpmup · 19-05-2020 10:36pm

Shelli2 wrote: »

Thanks, we have our intent to marry documents already, we were due to get married on 2nd May but it was cancelled. We'd like to do the civil ceremony ASAP but no reply to any emails to the registry offices to find out when we can book, we'd like to book a date in late July.

Try ringing them - I've spoken to them on the phone a couple of times and they've said they're snowed under (maybe why they're not answering emails) but they are answering the phone.

blacklilly · 19-05-2020 11:02pm

Neyite wrote: »

This is what's pissing me off most about it - this assumption that we all want a wedding with 100 guests so they are being vague so as not to incur the wrath of someone who's booked and paid for a hotel reception for 150.

We know our wedding plans have gone to sh!t. Duh, Simon. We've all known that since mid March. We aren't a herd of mindless bridzillas determined to have our day at all costs including to the lives of our friends and family.

We just want to know a time-frame. Tell us not to have a wedding of over 5/10/20 guest in 2020, grand, we can work with that or decide what to do from there.
Tell us that we can do the paperwork side of things from a certain date and let us book an appointment slot, or give us an alternative socially distanced way of completing the paperwork so we can legally marry.
Tell us when registrars will be back doing weddings with 2x witnesses so we can decide to do it that way or not.
At the moment we've no options, and no time frame except he's saying that after July 20th small weddings will be allowed. How's that going to happen if the registration offices stay closed until August? Because all I've heard from ours is that they will reopen after the pandemic...whenever that will be.

I'm so sick of them thinking that the only thing we care about is how many people we can cram into a ballroom.

The absolute mindlessness of them to admit that they never considered the definition of small or large when mapping the phases is beyond belief. Why use those words at all? It’s created more uncertainty for couples.
We postponed from May to the end of August, we have a lot of money tied up with our venue and are very concerned about their viability if weddings can’t go ahead by and large this year.
We have lost a considerable amount in deposits also. I appreciate some suppliers will be under financial pressure but the industry needs regulation. Considering it’s annual turnover it’s shocking that it isn’t already.

Neyite · 20-05-2020 9:28am

It's not even just us that are affected.

Knowing a bit of information about weddings allow venues and vendors to plan and may even be the deciding factor on whether their business is viable or will go bust, whether they can keep staff on or lay them off. All that sort of thing.

Pen Rua · 20-05-2020 10:08am

Shelli2 wrote: »

Thanks, we have our intent to marry documents already, we were due to get married on 2nd May but it was cancelled. We'd like to do the civil ceremony ASAP but no reply to any emails to the registry offices to find out when we can book, we'd like to book a date in late July.

You must call ASAP, Shelli. We were in a similar position (emailed one week, followed up by email the next week, called by the third week) and their initial offer was a date in October. You should call your local office. Keep trying to get through, we kept getting put to an automated voicemail.

zedhead · 20-05-2020 4:28pm

Shelli2 wrote: »

Thanks, we have our intent to marry documents already, we were due to get married on 2nd May but it was cancelled. We'd like to do the civil ceremony ASAP but no reply to any emails to the registry offices to find out when we can book, we'd like to book a date in late July.

Depends on where you are in the country it might be tough to get a date in July. I called back in March to move my May 15th wedding to August and at that point all the earliest they had was a weekday in october. At the tome they said to hold the may date and wait and see if we could go ahead with the legal ceremony then and do the rest in August. We ended up moving everything to next May when the plan for easing restrictions was announced and they had plenty of availability for next year. This was dublin so other counties may not be as busy.

Calling is definitely your best bet, i was on hold for a bit but i got through in the end.

Shelli2 · 23-05-2020 4:03am

We got the date we wanted in Carlow Registry Office, Friday 24th July.

skallywag · 23-05-2020 2:39pm

I do sincerely feel for anyone who had a wedding planned for this year. For many their wedding day is one of the most cherished and important milestones in their lives, and to have it forced into a no-end-in-sight limbo at the moment is terrible, particularly for those who have already put a large amount of financial and emotional invest in.

It can also be difficult to even raise one's frustrations about the same. There is quite a large contingent out there who will immediately play the 'How Dare You / Who Do You Think You Are' card if someone is having a moan about their shafted wedding plans. I find that very unfair. I know that we are living in extraordinary times with some of the population suffering intensely, but that itself should not mean that others who have been put out should not also be entitled to have their voice.

As for Simon Harris, I am not no fan, and he does indeed tend to bungle things. I can understand, to a degree, that weddings may not be towards the hot end of his priority list, but if he is going to mention them then he needs to say something which contains clearly defined content, rather than some wishywashy statement devoid of any commitment. I can fully understand how dates and numbers cannot be committed to at the moment, but in such a situation a statement such as 'we do not know' is actually more useful than saying something vague.

woodchuck · 23-05-2020 3:24pm

skallywag wrote: »

It can also be difficult to even raise one's frustrations about the same. There is quite a large contingent out there who will immediately play the 'How Dare You / Who Do You Think You Are' card if someone is having a moan about their shafted wedding plans. I find that very unfair. I know that we are living in extraordinary times with some of the population suffering intensely, but that itself should not mean that others who have been put out should not also be entitled to have their voice.

This!

The guilt is real. I know there are people with bigger problems atm (the death of loved ones, losing their job etc). I know that. But it doesn't make it any easier to deal with the hand 2020 couples have been dealt. I think some people think we're just bridezillas jonesing to have a massive piss up, want the perfectly staged photos for instagram likes and we should just get over ourselves.

It's not about that at all though. I'm keen to start the next chapter of my life with my OH and not knowing when we can do that is very difficult. It's not just the wedding, we also want to buy a house. We're just stick in limbo now on both accounts.

We never wanted something huge anyway (80 people max, but I'd be happy with half that). But because of that, people are like "ah sure you didn't want anything big anyway, so just go ahead, you'll be fine". But it's not about the numbers. I don't want a socially distant wedding where I can't freely mingle and chat to my guests. I don't want a wedding where my own brother isn't in a position to fly home for it because of the travel restrictions. I don't want a wedding where both my father and sister are extremely reluctant to attend due to underlying medical conditions. People don't get that though, they just seem obsessed with the numbers.

In theory we could go ahead just the two of us in September, but I actually do want my closest family and friends there. I feel like a bridezilla for wanting to postpone though...

sweetie · 23-05-2020 5:49pm

Came across this podcast today, seems very good.

https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-10-minute-wedding-podcast/id1512985870

zedhead · 03-06-2020 12:15pm

Looking for a bit of advice.

My wedding was due in May and has now been pushed out to May 2021. My dress had arrived in the bridal shop and i was due to go in for alterations at the end of March. This obviously got pushed out.

My mum has been hassling me about my dress and asking me about collecting it in case the shop goes out of business and my dress goes missing. They have been very active on social media and have planned to reppen. I contacted them to see what to do about how is best to store it for the next year and they said they could keep it in store. My mum is a bit nervous about this but id rather not have it in my house for risk of damaging it etc.

What are other brides doing with dresses who are in similar situations?

Neyite · 03-06-2020 2:31pm

I picked up mine and it's stored at home. It's in the bedroom above the fireplace so is probably the least likely to become damp. I check it from time to time but I bought it some years ago and it's still perfect. I take mine out of the wardrobe it's in and hang it outside for a few weeks from time to time

I think your mother might have a point. If a business does go bust then the customers are usually at the back of the queue when it comes to getting redress. Revenue, creditors and then customers I think. I'm not sure how that would relate to stock that's already sold but I wouldn't like to leave it to chance.

If you don't have a damp house or condensation issues the I don't think there's a risk - keep it in it's bag as it's breathable and out of direct sunlight.

blacklilly · 03-06-2020 11:20pm

Hi, I was due to get married in May and had to postpone to August (have everything crossed).

I had my first dress fitting at the end of March and decided to keep my dress with the lady doing my alterations. She called me this week to tell me she is closing the business and I’ve arranged to collect my dress this weekend.
My advice is pick up your dress, I’m sure not everyone is as conscientious as the lady that was doing my alterations.
You can buy storage boxes for it and there is plenty of advice online about ways to keep it safe and stain free

Shelli2 · 04-06-2020 7:01am

blacklilly wrote: »

. She called me this week to tell me she is closing the business and I’ve arranged to collect my dress this weekend.

We must be using the same alterations lady, such a pity as she was brilliant, and made the experience so special.

blacklilly · 04-06-2020 8:24am

Shelli2 wrote: »

We must be using the same alterations lady, such a pity as she was brilliant, and made the experience so special.

I know, I really trusted her with dress, she’s so talented.
Hope you’ve found someone else that do your alterations

blacklilly · 04-06-2020 8:25am

blacklilly wrote: »

I know, I really trusted her with dress, she’s so talented.
Hope you’ve found someone else that do your alterations

I know, I really trusted her with dress, she’s so talented.
Hope you’ve found someone else that do your alterations

Shelli2 · 04-06-2020 9:26am

I'm actually pregnant and we're having a micro wedding in July instead.
I'm hoping to have a bigger celebration down the line so will store the dress until then.
I picked up a maternity dress online that I'm in love with and needs zero alterations.ðŸ˜

blacklilly · 04-06-2020 1:59pm

Shelli2 wrote: »

I'm actually pregnant and we're having a micro wedding in July instead.
I'm hoping to have a bigger celebration down the line so will store the dress until then.
I picked up a maternity dress online that I'm in love with and needs zero alterations.ðŸ˜

Ah congratulations:)
Great to have your dress sorted and no need for alterations. Hope your micro wedding goes well

nikpmup · 04-06-2020 3:50pm

Anyone else ordered from the Wedding Band shop? A Well Known Wedding Forum has about five or six 5* reviews but not sure whether to trust them! We're getting married in September so want to get the big things organised

Pen Rua · 05-06-2020 11:33am

We've resolved to send out invites over the next few weeks as planned. We have also done up an insert card for the invite basically saying: we know you may not be able to come, nor feel comfertable to come so were are working on arranging livestream. Please let us know of an up to date email etc etc etc.

As an aside, has anyone dealt with Zazzle? We ordered the invites last night but noticed a typo this morning and it's too late to cancel (already manufacturing). We might order a fresh batch, corrected, and return the mistaken batch and ask for refund / credit.

Scarinae · 05-06-2020 6:18pm

I'm thinking of picking up my dress too, it arrived in the shop before the lockdown and has been there ever since. We don't have a new wedding date yet (the original date was 8th August) but I'd say we'll be at least another year so it'd probably better to have the dress and just do the alterations closer to the time.

woodchuck · 09-06-2020 3:01pm

Guidance on the re-opening of hotels and guesthouses was published this morning. This includes one page about weddings (no numbers):
https://failtecdn.azureedge.net/failteireland/Guidelines-for-Re-opening-Hotels-and-Guesthouses.pdf

Simon Harris had said last week that they were working on specific guidance on weddings and it would be available within about 10 days... so hopefully we might have more information by the end of next week.

woodchuck · 22-06-2020 3:50pm

Are any couples still going ahead with their weddings from July - Sept this year?

I don't think we're going to get any further guidance from the government at this stage, after the announcement on numbers for indoor social gatherings on Friday. My venue is considering how weddings will function under the current restrictions and they said they'd get back to me later this week with further information. My venue is very small though - when I asked them before, they said they could only fit about 50 guests under the 2 metre rule. Maybe they'll come up with some clever ideas to make the most of the space, but it's very hard to picture a day where guests will be able to freely move around and mingle with each other.

We really do need to make a decision at this point though. I'm leaning towards postponing, but are many others feeling hopeful and still going ahead? What are your thoughts on having a socially distant wedding?

blacklilly · 22-06-2020 3:56pm

woodchuck wrote: »

Are any couples still going ahead with their weddings from July - Sept this year?

I don't think we're going to get any further guidance from the government at this stage, after the announcement on numbers for indoor social gatherings on Friday. My venue is considering how weddings will function under the current restrictions and they said they'd get back to me later this week with further information. My venue is very small though - when I asked them before, they said they could only fit about 50 guests under the 2 metre rule. Maybe they'll come up with some clever ideas to make the most of the space, but it's very hard to picture a day where guests will be able to freely move around and mingle with each other.

We really do need to make a decision at this point though. I'm leaning towards postponing, but are many others feeling hopeful and still going ahead? What are your thoughts on having a socially distant wedding?

We are going ahead, we have had to reduce our guest list from 200 to 90. We just cannot stand the thought of postponing again.
Our date is late August, there’s always a slim chance that increased numbers could be allowed by then but even if they aren’t we are happy to push ahead.
Our venue said they are most concerned about social distancing measures for the dinners, before and after that they won’t be enforcing it as they’ve acknowledged it’ll be impossible for them to do this.
It’s a really difficult decision to make, do what you are most comfortable with. There’s no right or wrong choice given the current situation we are in

woodchuck · 22-06-2020 4:02pm

Thanks blacklilly.

While we'd have to cut our guest list by half, I'm afraid that the people I actually want to be there won't be able to make it. My sister is in a vulnerable group and definitely won't come. My brother is Canada, so with all the travel restrictions atm it's very unlikely that he'll be able to come. My partners brother is in the UK, so similar issues there. I only have a very small group of close friends, most who live locally, but there are definitely at least a few who would be unlikely to come due to safety concerns.

The ceremony and dinner should be workable as everyone is sitting down. I have no idea how the afternoon drinks reception and evening dancing will work though. To date they've both been held in the very small bar area, so it's hard to picture how anyone will be able to relax and have a good time with social distancing.

How do you feel about the social distancing aspect? 2 metres apart from your guests for the whole day, including during the meal, dancing, having a drink, taking photos etc?

blacklilly · 22-06-2020 4:21pm

woodchuck wrote: »

Thanks blacklilly.

While we'd have to cut our guest list by half, I'm afraid that the people I actually want to be there won't be able to make it. My sister is in a vulnerable group and definitely won't come. My brother is Canada, so with all the travel restrictions atm it's very unlikely that he'll be able to come. My partners brother is in the UK, so similar issues there. I only have a very small group of close friends, most who live locally, but there are definitely at least a few who would be unlikely to come due to safety concerns.

The ceremony and dinner should be workable as everyone is sitting down. I have no idea how the afternoon drinks reception and evening dancing will work though. To date they've both been held in the very small bar area, so it's hard to picture how anyone will be able to relax and have a good time with social distancing.

How do you feel about the social distancing aspect? 2 metres apart from your guests for the whole day, including during the meal, dancing, having a drink, taking photos etc?

Sorry to hear that, we are fortunate in that we have no family/friends in a vulnerable group. Of course that is going to be a huge consideration for you when planning your day. If close family can’t attend I’m sure it’s near impossible to imagine having your wedding without them.

If cases remain low, social distancing will be at 1 meter.
We certainly won’t be enforcing it, the way we see it is that everyone coming is an adult and if they are uncomfortable socialising in a group then we will absolutely understand if they aren’t comfortable attending our wedding. I hope that doesn’t come across as arrogant but I guess we feel a lot of these “restrictions” have been so contradictory and there’s at some point we just have to try and get on with things.
Covid is going to be around for some time yet and possibly forever unless a vaccine is found.

The venue have made it clear that it will not be possible for them to ensure social distancing other than at the meal itself. There will be some changes in terms of the drinks reception itself but nothing major. Our Venue is quite large and to accommodate 90 people our tables can now hold a max of 6 people instead of 12.

We have spoken to our photographer and again, they are not concerned by it either, their view is that they are there to take pictures, not to ensure ppl keep a certain distance apart.

Neyite · 22-06-2020 4:32pm

I've rescheduled until next year, mainly because we've lots of overseas guests and quarintine isn't workable for them. As well as that we've a lot of older guests who would have reason to be very scared of catching the virus so they would more than likely decline anyway.

woodchuck · 22-06-2020 4:36pm

Thanks blacklilly. I'm in the HIGM facebook group and I think most people are looking at it the same way as you. I.e. they're not concerned about social distancing and see it proceeding as a "normal" wedding for the most part.

I agree that it won't really be feasible for the staff to enforce social distancing before/after the meal, especially as they won't be aware of who are in the same household groups (you'd have egg on your face if you tried to separate a married couple!).

I'm afraid that different guests will have different attitudes though. There will be some that will have complete disregard for the 2 metre rule and others who swear by it. So I'm afraid of ending up with a situation where certain guests are very uncomfortable if they're expecting a 2 metre rule and it gets completely thrown out the window. Personally I wouldn't want to encroach on anyone's 2 metre space, as I wouldn't want to make them feel unsafe, but that's just me.

Maybe I'm overthinking the whole thing though

2020 Bride/Groom

Comments