Maths jokes!

Aoi · 10-09-2011 10:09pm

KnifeWRENCH wrote: »

Since the physics forum doesn't have a jokes thread, it'll have to do here instead.

I saw that earlier today on my FB feed I think, weird =/

15-09-2011 9:29am

shamelessly stolen from ylyl

LeixlipRed · 15-09-2011 9:46am

Seen that just there, was about to repost, hilarious

Capt'n Midnight · 05-10-2011 7:07pm

from YLYL

Reillyman · 03-11-2011 2:21am

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

A mathematician organizes a raffle in which the prize is an infinite amount of money paid over an infinite amount of time. Of course, with the promise of such a prize, his tickets sell like hot cake.
When the winning ticket is drawn, and the jubilant winner comes to claim his prize, the mathematician explains the mode of payment: "1 dollar now, 1/2 dollar next week, 1/3 dollar the week after that..."

The prize is in the form of the harmonic series, which is of course divergent and therefore the sum of the prizes would go towards infinity, therefore your joke makes no sense.

LeixlipRed · 03-11-2011 11:06am

Yes but assuming the person lives to receive the prize for 80 years they'll have collected about 9 dollars by my calculations. How fast it's diverging is the joke.

Fremen · 03-11-2011 7:42pm

Coincedentally, it grows about as fast as the integral in your sig (if the limits are 1 and x).

Reillyman · 03-11-2011 10:10pm

Should have just used a P-series with p=2.

LeixlipRed · 03-11-2011 10:13pm

Reillyman wrote: »

Should have just used a P-series with p=2.

Or you could have just said: "oops, silly me".

Reillyman · 03-11-2011 10:26pm

Haha, whenever that joke is told it's used with a p=2. How fast it grows isn't the joke, the joke should be that you'll only ever recieve $2. For eg.

"An infinite crowd of mathematicians enters a bar.
The first one orders a pint, the second one a half pint, the third one a quarter pint...
The bartender pours two pints."

That joke would be crap if the punchline read, "The barman pours an infinite amount of pints very, very slowly..."

LeixlipRed · 03-11-2011 10:29pm

But the original joke says, infinite amount of money, 1/n as n goes to infinity diverges. 1/(n^2) doesn't, it converges. I don't see why the original joke isn't funny...

LeixlipRed · 03-11-2011 10:32pm

You're getting confused with the series 1/2^n.

Colours · 06-11-2011 1:15pm

Capt'n Midnight · 07-11-2011 9:36am

One day, Jesus said to his disciples: "The Kingdom of Heaven is like 3x squared plus 8x minus 9."
A man who had just joined the disciples looked very confused and asked Peter: "What, on Earth, does he mean by that?"
Peter replied: "Don't worry - it's just another one of his parabolas."

44leto · 14-11-2011 10:35pm

The barman said I am sorry we don't serve neutrinos

A neutrino walks into the bar.

BlueBaron · 15-11-2011 1:56am

there was a explosion at the pie factory.

3.14159265 found dead.

Capt'n Midnight · 16-11-2011 9:06pm

My local pie shop is doing a special 3.1 for 2

Turtwig · 17-11-2011 12:10pm

Stolen from YLYL2:pac:

reap-a-rat · 20-11-2011 6:49pm

Learning the Fibonacci Series is as easy as 1 1 2 3!

Capt'n Midnight · 22-11-2011 10:31pm

I'll stop at nothing to avoid using negative numbers.

24-11-2011 10:56pm

ciano6 wrote: »

Why was six afraid of seven?
Because seven eight nine.

Why are jokes in Z_8 not funny?

Because 7 0 1.

im invisible · 24-11-2011 11:09pm

there are 10 types of people in the world...

those that understand trinary,

those that dont,

and those that confuse it with binary

Capt'n Midnight · 24-11-2011 11:38pm

I prefer the term ternary.

The Russians actually build such a computer http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Setun

bnt · 04-12-2011 3:46pm

(from Saturday Morning Breakfast Cereal)

steddyeddy · 06-12-2011 12:29am

I failed so many maths tests that I cant even count.

Capt'n Midnight · 10-12-2011 11:04am

(sqrt(cos(x))*cos(400*x)+sqrt(abs(x))-0.4)-(4-x*x)^0.1

Richard Cranium · 14-12-2011 2:08pm

Let ε < 0.

Captain Graphite · 14-12-2011 5:06pm

Richard Cranium wrote: »

Let ε < 0.

World's shortest maths joke!

Reillyman · 21-12-2011 8:59pm

Richard Cranium wrote: »

Let ε < 0.

Hahaha I just imagined myself trying to explain that joke to someone that doesn't study maths, it would be impossible!

Richard Cranium · 07-01-2012 11:02pm

What do mermaid maths teachers wear?

Algebras.

Capt'n Midnight · 08-01-2012 2:19am

"This is a one line proof...if we start sufficiently far to the left."

If I have seen farther than others, it is because I was standing on the shoulders of giants.
-- Isaac Newton

In the sciences, we are now uniquely privileged to sit side by side with the giants on whose shoulders we stand.
-- Gerald Holton

If I have not seen as far as others, it is because giants were standing on my shoulders.
-- Hal Abelson

Mathematicians stand on each other's shoulders.
-- Gauss

Mathematicians stand on each other's shoulders while computer scientists stand on each other's toes.
-- Richard Hamming

It has been said that physicists stand on one another's shoulders. If this is the case, then programmers stand on one another's toes, and software engineers dig each other's graves.
-- Unknown

Capt'n Midnight · 31-01-2012 3:47pm

bnt · 13-03-2012 4:02pm

According to some news reports, a teacher in the USA was fired after he gave his students some Maths problems that he had downloaded from a home schooling website. The plagiarism wasn't the why he was fired: no, he was fired after some of the parents saw the questions. Sample:

John's father gave him 1359 marbles on his birthday. John swallowed 585 marbles and died. 9 of John's friends came for his funeral the next day. John's grieving father gave the remaining marbles to John's friends in equal numbers. How many marbles did each friend get?

The owner of the site has since taken the problems down and posted an apology/explanation/not-my-fault message, but one sheet can still be downloaded (PDF) that includes this:

Brian loves deformed chickens. Last weekend he bought 770 mutant chickens from a mad scientist. When he brought them home, he noticed that he had twice as many hairy chickens as bald chickens, and twice as many wooly chickens as hairy chickens. How many more wooly chickens than bald chickens did he have?

Maybe the parents were appalled, but kids these days might actually be in to that sort of thing ... :pac:

Turtwig · 14-03-2012 12:10pm

bnt · 17-03-2012 10:12pm

krafty · 20-04-2012 12:53pm

TheAlmightyZeus wrote: »

I don't get it. How come 8 can see him but neither 2 nor 3 can? Am I missing something? How sleep-deprived can I be?

Turtwig · 20-04-2012 12:57pm

krafty wrote: »

I don't get it. How come 8 can see him but neither 2 nor 3 can? Am I missing something? How sleep-deprived can I be?

"i" is imaginary so it can't be sleep deprived.

krafty · 20-04-2012 1:23pm

Jernal wrote: »

"i" is imaginary so it can't be sleep deprived.

hah

Seriously though, what's so special about 8?

Capt'n Midnight · 20-04-2012 5:22pm

krafty wrote: »

hah

Seriously though, what's so special about 8?

It's not 8 it's nought

wearing a belt

krafty · 20-04-2012 5:30pm

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

It's not 8 it's nought
wearing a belt

Ah now I get it - thanks.

Fatscally · 08-05-2012 9:59am

Capt'n Midnight wrote: »

Q: What does the little mermaid wear?
A: An algae-bra.

I get it! I sooo get it!! It's because she's a mermaid and lives in the sea. She can't just go to Pennies and get her clothes there so she has to make one from algae. Totally!

Turtwig · 08-05-2012 8:16pm

Capt'n Midnight · 19-05-2012 3:06pm

TheBody · 20-05-2012 5:00pm

What's purple and commutes? An abelian grape!!

TheBody · 07-06-2012 3:04pm

Stolen from you laugh you lose:

Capt'n Midnight · 19-06-2012 5:55pm

ylyl

cbirt531 · 20-06-2012 9:12pm

these jokes are good!

IloveConverse · 26-06-2012 12:54am

Great thread!

MacGyver007 · 01-07-2012 1:58pm

Never argue with a 90-degree angle; it's always right!

Capt'n Midnight · 04-07-2012 11:56pm

Maths jokes!

Comments