Now Ye're Talking - to a recovered heroin user

shivermetimber wrote: »

Can you expand a little on how the methadone program works? Do you receive any counseling or the likes while the weaning off process begins and is there any aftercare / mentor set up etc while you transition back into society or are you on your own?

You can opt in for that if you want, for me I've always found counseling and 12 steps etc really patronising and condescending. Talking about and rehashing issues, or talking about drug use constantly just makes me want to use.

I'm sure it works for some, but I didn't like it. But yeah, those services are there.

miamee wrote: »

Did you ever bump into people from your 'home' life while you were on the streets? Would you avoid talking to them or would you even notice them? I suppose we all have this idea of drug addicts being out of it all the time but I suppose you're not high the whole time, you have to have some sober moments as well. Or did you?

I know you said you lost your job and your relationship also ended, is this what led to you becoming homeless, had you nowhere else to go? Or did the drugs come first nad then put out of wherever you were living?

Sry answered your questions out of order

Yeah, I lost my job and broke up with my ex at the same time. Couldn't pay the rent, tried to find someone to let the spare room but couldn't make it work in time.

Spent a little while staying on various friends couches and stuff, looking for work etc, they were all in relationships/had jobs/sided with my ex. So eventually it was clear I was overstaying my welcome so I'd stay in shelters or get the night bus etc.

Occasionally would made side-eye contact with someone I knew before, but don't know how recognisable I was. Only time I was out of it was when I was goofing, rest of the time I was almost hyper-aware

I'm a recovered heroin user, AMA wrote: »

You can opt in for that if you want, for me I've always found counseling and 12 steps etc really patronising and condescending. Talking about and rehashing issues, or talking about drug use constantly just makes me want to use.

I'm sure it works for some, but I didn't like it. But yeah, those services are there.

95% of the people on methadone programs just go in and get their daily/weekly dose. I'd say about 60%+ abuse the system, are still using. Sell the methadone etc.

It's like running a gauntlet to get through that program too, whilst still being subjected to all the same vices as before. Like I said, those services do exist, but its mainly an in-out attitude

super_furry wrote: »

As someone who’s been there, do you think that the proposed injecting rooms I. Dublin would be a beneficial thing to help addicts?

It can't do any bad, and it would certainly help the surrounding community. Properly regulated, I can't see any harm.

I'm a recovered heroin user, AMA wrote: »

It can't do any bad, and it would certainly help the surrounding community. Properly regulated, I can't see any harm.

I'm sorry, don't want to edit my posts...

It seems to have worked well in Canada and in parts of Europe. Besides providing a safe and controlled place for people to use, keeping it off the streets. I guess it would be a good point of contact for people to reach addiction/rehabilitation/health services. Homeless initiatives etc.

Just like anything, I'm afraid that it could be open abuse and people dealing etc, hypothetically if it was done right yes, but it could be a catastrophe otherwise.

John_D80 wrote: »

How much does heroin cost per “hit”??

How long did you sustain the 200/250 euro per day usage for??

Is there any one single prized possession of yours that you kept and would never have sold and or swapped for heroin even at your worst?

Did you ever commit a violent crime on an innocent vulnerable person like a pensioner in order to steal money?

€15 for one or 2 for €25, then you get more etc with bulk

Not always, €200/250 that's at max street price, so only only on the really low days would I be paying that much.

If I/we were buying stuff in bulk it would work out cheaper, sell half get yours for free, rinse and repeat.

I lost/sold every possession that mattered to me at one stage or another other than a watch my granddad gave me.

By vulnerable yes, I guess that's what you're looking for

I ripped off younger/newbie guys and sold them nothings drugs. Did confidence scams on people and got a fair bit of money at a time.

By elderly specifically, no. Not intentionally, I might have taken something from a car, but I wasn't specifically looking for that.

Most people I tapped off or hustled where young people in town, out on a night out out shopping during the day.

Spun a story about missing a taxi or money for a hostel, and could make about €100 per hour. The right people will give you average €20/30 you just have to find them.

DrPhilG wrote: »

Don't have any questions for you at the minute, but just wanted to say well done. Sounds like you were enjoying pretty deep so congrats on coming out the other side.

Actually I do have a question, have you seen Trainspotting and how does it compare to your experience.

I liked the movie (and the book), doesn't really compare, at least to a Dublin experience. I'ts like saying "I see you like cars, you must know The fast and the furious™"

JaMarcus wrote: »

Just wanted to say thanks for coming on here, OP. I can relate to what you have went through.

I've battled addiction myself.

Specifically Toblerone.

I would wake up in the middle of the night and eat an entire Toblerone.

And I don’t mean a small one. I mean a medium-sized one.

In fact, in the best chapter in my book I talk about when I gorged on Toblerone and drove to Dundee in my bare feet.

Well take it easy pal, one step at a time?

Eire Go Brach wrote: »

Well done.

Just wondering. What is a confidence scan?

In case you are lacking google or common sense. It is an endeavour to get to know somebody and gain their confidence, then exploit it.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock wrote: »

Sorry for going back to your first quote on the thread, but one follow-up question to this:

I've done a few drugs myself (never heroin though) over the years and have one on moderation during usage. So far no problems, but I've heard a theory that people tend to have addictive personalities rather than the drugs themselves being addictive. Would you agree with this, or not?

I'd agree 100% if you are talking about mental addiction. Some people are more prone than others, me more so.

I had friends who didn't turn into complete potheads or cokeheads, or destroy ecstasy like I tried to do. Then again I knew people who did and I was the only one to turn out long-term addicted to something.

It's all mental with everything else I guess, and during the beginning with heroin.

But then when you are physically hooked it doesn't really matter about your personality or disposition.

alanceltic wrote: »

Congrats on getting clean and changing my opinion on what a typical junkie (apologies if offended) is in my narrow mindset. You should be held up as a beacon of light to others and I'm sure your family appreciate you for your recent endeavours.

Now you have a second coming what are your short term and long term goals and do you feel you will have enough support to enable you to get there?

Finally do you live in fear that one day you could find yourself vulnerable to going back on h?

Thanks, no offence taken....

Would be prefer to be called an addict, or former addict if anything though!! Calling somebody a junkie kinda feels like the n' word or something. That's why I used the word 'druggie' in my intro post that Niamh entered for me.

But I don't really care, just maybe in future that info could help you talk to or relate to someone that you meet in future! Is only reason I mentioned it.

I don't know about that, I have a lot to prove to family and love ones. I'm sure lots are proud, but it's more on me than them if ya get me....

Things are getting a lot better for me year by year, but seeing my brothers, cousins some of whom are much younger than me getting along with rewarding careers. I'm basically back at the bottom of the ladder, but with a handicap (big CV gap) It's hard to think anybody is 'proud'.

But it is what it is, I have to just do my course, hopefully get a work placement from it and take it from there.

I think I answered your second question as best I could a few posts ago, sry don't want to rehash or retype things.

Sinister Kid wrote: »

After what you have been through & knowing what the money is used for would you give your spare change to someone begging in the street?

No,

If you are in Dublin, Unless it looks like a real emergency you are really better to give your money to Brother Luke's (Capuchin Day center, Smithfield) or the Merchant's Quay project. They are amazing people and do amazing things.

That said, if I had the money to spare and I saw someone genuinely sick, yep I'd give it. But probably because I know how it feels and how much it would mean.

The money is better off going towards those projects and others though..

JCX BXC wrote: »

Really interesting thank you. There's surprisingly little information on hard drugs online, after cannibus (and I don't need online to tell me what that's like) it becomes very scarce, and I'm always interested when these come up.

Most questions I'm interested in have already been asked, however I have 3.

1). Are there many triggers for you and how often do you encounter them? Would seeing someone off their heads in the city center make you want to feel like you did during the time you used, do you feel sad or pity for them or is it a mixture of both?

2). What's the going rate for a gram?

3). Would you ever consider getting involved in drug rehabilitation services to help others, or would the temptation be too much?

Thanks again for the interesting insight, it is hard to come by often, especially such a personalised experience.

1. Yep both. Usually the former. I'm glad I'm not there now

2. €80

3. Yes, I'd like to.

But I need to solidify my own situation a bit first. I've been doing well enough, I'm clean 4 years, 1 off methadone but I'm still trying to put things back together. I don't think that I can really be a help to others until I get things back.

I doubt temptation would be much of an issue now, as described before it was everywhere, it's literally everywhere anytime you go into Dublin city center

MrMac84 wrote: »

You mentioned in a previous post that Heroin is everywhere in the city Centre. Apart from the guys wandering the streets like zombies what other things would you see to indicate it? After been on that side for a number of years are there things you’d see that would tell you that a regular innocent joe so wouldn’t?

As allways thanks

I notice the citric sachets everywhere, they are like a lime green/yellow. If you see one it means someone just cooked up.



I see them absolutely everywhere.