Now Ye're Talking - to a recovered heroin user

N.96

One more question...

Judging by your replies you appear to be educated.

Did you study beyond Leaving Cert, go to college etc?

I'm a recovered heroin user, AMA

I'm a recovered heroin user, AMA wrote: »

It can't do any bad, and it would certainly help the surrounding community. Properly regulated, I can't see any harm.

I'm sorry, don't want to edit my posts...

It seems to have worked well in Canada and in parts of Europe. Besides providing a safe and controlled place for people to use, keeping it off the streets. I guess it would be a good point of contact for people to reach addiction/rehabilitation/health services. Homeless initiatives etc.

Just like anything, I'm afraid that it could be open abuse and people dealing etc, hypothetically if it was done right yes, but it could be a catastrophe otherwise.

I'm a recovered heroin user, AMA

N.96 wrote: »

One more question...

Judging by your replies you appear to be educated.

Did you study beyond Leaving Cert, go to college etc?

I did my first year in college (computer related, won't say more) and was offered a job offer I couldn't refuse. Worked out well until the IT world melted 3 years later!

cosanostra

Fair play to you and all the best for the future!

Do you feel anger towards anyone or society as a whole for causing/leading you to use or do you feel that it was a personal choice?

How much per day would you have spent at the height of your addiction?

What could have been done to prevent you going down the road of addiction

I'm a recovered heroin user, AMA

cosanostra wrote: »

Fair play to you and all the best for the future!

Do you feel anger towards anyone or society as a whole for causing/leading you to use or do you feel that it was a personal choice?

How much per day would you have spent at the height of your addiction?

What could have been done to prevent you going down the road of addiction

I feel angry at myself mostly and no one else, I made some ****ty decisions.

I do feel a little resentment towards people who ripped me off back then, or maybe have judged me since. I've seen a couple of these people in the meantime. I guess just let bygones be bygones.But I figure I deserved it, what goes around comes around, no point in being bitter.

About €200/250 per day at the peak...

Alpha_zero

During this time how many criminal convictions did you have? Did you ever violently assault anyone?

I'm a recovered heroin user, AMA

Alpha_zero wrote: »

During this time how many criminal convictions did you have? Did you ever violently assault anyone?

8 or 9 all petty theft (shoplifting) or public order act etc.

I did violently assault someone once, I'd hate to say that he 'deserved it' but let's just say it wasn't reported by anybody. I still regret what happened, but that's the way it is, I would have been a victim if I didn't stick up for myself.

John_D80

How much does heroin cost per “hit”??

How long did you sustain the 200/250 euro per day usage for??

Is there any one single prized possession of yours that you kept and would never have sold and or swapped for heroin even at your worst?

Did you ever commit a violent crime on an innocent vulnerable person like a pensioner in order to steal money?

gordongekko

Describe your first hit

I'm a recovered heroin user, AMA

John_D80 wrote: »

How much does heroin cost per “hit”??

How long did you sustain the 200/250 euro per day usage for??

Is there any one single prized possession of yours that you kept and would never have sold and or swapped for heroin even at your worst?

Did you ever commit a violent crime on an innocent vulnerable person like a pensioner in order to steal money?

€15 for one or 2 for €25, then you get more etc with bulk

Not always, €200/250 that's at max street price, so only only on the really low days would I be paying that much.

If I/we were buying stuff in bulk it would work out cheaper, sell half get yours for free, rinse and repeat.

I lost/sold every possession that mattered to me at one stage or another other than a watch my granddad gave me.

By vulnerable yes, I guess that's what you're looking for

I ripped off younger/newbie guys and sold them nothings drugs. Did confidence scams on people and got a fair bit of money at a time.

By elderly specifically, no. Not intentionally, I might have taken something from a car, but I wasn't specifically looking for that.

Most people I tapped off or hustled where young people in town, out on a night out out shopping during the day.

Spun a story about missing a taxi or money for a hostel, and could make about €100 per hour. The right people will give you average €20/30 you just have to find them.

DrPhilG

Don't have any questions for you at the minute, but just wanted to say well done. Sounds like you were enjoying pretty deep so congrats on coming out the other side.

Actually I do have a question, have you seen Trainspotting and how does it compare to your experience.

I'm a recovered heroin user, AMA

DrPhilG wrote: »

Don't have any questions for you at the minute, but just wanted to say well done. Sounds like you were enjoying pretty deep so congrats on coming out the other side.

Actually I do have a question, have you seen Trainspotting and how does it compare to your experience.

I liked the movie (and the book), doesn't really compare, at least to a Dublin experience. I'ts like saying "I see you like cars, you must know The fast and the furious™"

JaMarcus

Just wanted to say thanks for coming on here, OP. I can relate to what you have went through.

I've battled addiction myself.

Specifically Toblerone.

I would wake up in the middle of the night and eat an entire Toblerone.

And I don’t mean a small one. I mean a medium-sized one.

In fact, in the best chapter in my book I talk about when I gorged on Toblerone and drove to Dundee in my bare feet.

I'm a recovered heroin user, AMA

JaMarcus wrote: »

Just wanted to say thanks for coming on here, OP. I can relate to what you have went through.

I've battled addiction myself.

Specifically Toblerone.

I would wake up in the middle of the night and eat an entire Toblerone.

And I don’t mean a small one. I mean a medium-sized one.

In fact, in the best chapter in my book I talk about when I gorged on Toblerone and drove to Dundee in my bare feet.

Well take it easy pal, one step at a time?

I'm a recovered heroin user, AMA

I'm a recovered heroin user, AMA wrote: »

Well take it easy pal, one step at a time?

Or do you eat 'em whole?

Eire Go Brach

Well done.

Just wondering. What is a confidence scan?

I'm a recovered heroin user, AMA

Eire Go Brach wrote: »

Well done.

Just wondering. What is a confidence scan?

It's like a confidence scam but it ends in a 'n'?

I'm a recovered heroin user, AMA

Eire Go Brach wrote: »

Well done.

Just wondering. What is a confidence scan?

In case you are lacking google or common sense. It is an endeavour to get to know somebody and gain their confidence, then exploit it.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock

I'm a recovered heroin user, AMA wrote: »

1. No, I've had lots of addiction problems in the past. Booze, cannabis, coke... Everything basically at one point or another.

Sorry for going back to your first quote on the thread, but one follow-up question to this:

I've done a few drugs myself (never heroin though) over the years and have one on moderation during usage. So far no problems, but I've heard a theory that people tend to have addictive personalities rather than the drugs themselves being addictive. Would you agree with this, or not?

I'm a recovered heroin user, AMA

Princess Consuela Bananahammock wrote: »

Sorry for going back to your first quote on the thread, but one follow-up question to this:

I've done a few drugs myself (never heroin though) over the years and have one on moderation during usage. So far no problems, but I've heard a theory that people tend to have addictive personalities rather than the drugs themselves being addictive. Would you agree with this, or not?

I'd agree 100% if you are talking about mental addiction. Some people are more prone than others, me more so.

I had friends who didn't turn into complete potheads or cokeheads, or destroy ecstasy like I tried to do. Then again I knew people who did and I was the only one to turn out long-term addicted to something.

It's all mental with everything else I guess, and during the beginning with heroin.

But then when you are physically hooked it doesn't really matter about your personality or disposition.

alanceltic

Congrats on getting clean and changing my opinion on what a typical junkie (apologies if offended) is in my narrow mindset. You should be held up as a beacon of light to others and I'm sure your family appreciate you for your recent endeavours.

Now you have a second coming what are your short term and long term goals and do you feel you will have enough support to enable you to get there?

Finally do you live in fear that one day you could find yourself vulnerable to going back on h?

Sinister Kid

An old friend of mine's brother was an addict, living on the streets & in hostels in dublin for years. Sadly his addiction got the better of him & he OD'ed over in London about two years ago.
I know he used to take something else along with herion that he said was far worse (I cant remember what it was called)
Were you hooked on anything else while using?

After what you have been through & knowing what the money is used for would you give your spare change to someone begging in the street?

y0ssar1an22

I'm a recovered heroin user, AMA wrote: »

I'd agree 100% if you are talking about mental addiction. Some people are more prone than others, me more so.

I had friends who didn't turn into complete potheads or cokeheads, or destroy ecstasy like I tried to do. Then again I knew people who did and I was the only one to turn out long-term addicted to something.

It's all mental with everything else I guess, and during the beginning with heroin.

But then when you are physically hooked it doesn't really matter about your personality or disposition.

awesome AMA! and fair play for cleaning up. cant imagine, but must be hard.

1 question i could never solve, or got a satisfactory answer to - in relation to alochol and tobacco anyway....

is there a physical dependence on the drug, like the way you need water, or is it a mental one, if that makes sense?

alcohol for example, are you addicted to it as a drug (physical dependence), or just love being drunk (mental dependence).

i dunno, maybe they're one and the the same

I'm a recovered heroin user, AMA

alanceltic wrote: »

Congrats on getting clean and changing my opinion on what a typical junkie (apologies if offended) is in my narrow mindset. You should be held up as a beacon of light to others and I'm sure your family appreciate you for your recent endeavours.

Now you have a second coming what are your short term and long term goals and do you feel you will have enough support to enable you to get there?

Finally do you live in fear that one day you could find yourself vulnerable to going back on h?

Thanks, no offence taken....

Would be prefer to be called an addict, or former addict if anything though!! Calling somebody a junkie kinda feels like the n' word or something. That's why I used the word 'druggie' in my intro post that Niamh entered for me.

But I don't really care, just maybe in future that info could help you talk to or relate to someone that you meet in future! Is only reason I mentioned it.

I don't know about that, I have a lot to prove to family and love ones. I'm sure lots are proud, but it's more on me than them if ya get me....

Things are getting a lot better for me year by year, but seeing my brothers, cousins some of whom are much younger than me getting along with rewarding careers. I'm basically back at the bottom of the ladder, but with a handicap (big CV gap) It's hard to think anybody is 'proud'.

But it is what it is, I have to just do my course, hopefully get a work placement from it and take it from there.

I think I answered your second question as best I could a few posts ago, sry don't want to rehash or retype things.

I'm a recovered heroin user, AMA

Sinister Kid wrote: »

An old friend of mine's brother was an addict, living on the streets & in hostels in dublin for years. Sadly his addiction got the better of him & he OD'ed over in London about two years ago.
I know he used to take something else along with herion that he said was far worse (I cant remember what it was called)
Were you hooked on anything else while using?

After what you have been through & knowing what the money is used for would you give your spare change to someone begging in the street?

I'm sorry to hear that.

I know a few good people who went, one was an amazing musician. Had something special, that's not to say every life isn't precious.

I used crack a lot, but mainly when I could afford it. It wasn't my staple.

I'm a recovered heroin user, AMA

Sinister Kid wrote: »

After what you have been through & knowing what the money is used for would you give your spare change to someone begging in the street?

No,

If you are in Dublin, Unless it looks like a real emergency you are really better to give your money to Brother Luke's (Capuchin Day center, Smithfield) or the Merchant's Quay project. They are amazing people and do amazing things.

That said, if I had the money to spare and I saw someone genuinely sick, yep I'd give it. But probably because I know how it feels and how much it would mean.

The money is better off going towards those projects and others though..

neonsofa

Thanks for this. You have given me a bit of hope for someone I know that's back on it again. He knows he needs to get off it but isn't ready yet. I hope he will get there soon.

Well done for turning things round. Look after yourself.

JCX BXC

Really interesting thank you. There's surprisingly little information on hard drugs online, after cannibus (and I don't need online to tell me what that's like) it becomes very scarce, and I'm always interested when these come up.

Most questions I'm interested in have already been asked, however I have 3.

1). Are there many triggers for you and how often do you encounter them? Would seeing someone off their heads in the city center make you want to feel like you did during the time you used, do you feel sad or pity for them or is it a mixture of both?

2). What's the going rate for a gram?

3). Would you ever consider getting involved in drug rehabilitation services to help others, or would the temptation be too much?

Thanks again for the interesting insight, it is hard to come by often, especially such a personalised experience.

I'm a recovered heroin user, AMA

neonsofa wrote: »

Thanks for this. You have given me a bit of hope for someone I know that's back on it again. He knows he needs to get off it but isn't ready yet. I hope he will get there soon.

Well done for turning things round. Look after yourself.

I hope he can too. Just give him whatever love and encouragement you can, not financial help. I hope he can turn it around.

I'm more than aware now of the toll this takes on family's, it's not that you don't care at the time, but you don't notice. Hate myself for what people have gone though on my behalf.

There's hope for everyone, best wishes.

I'm a recovered heroin user, AMA

JCX BXC wrote: »

Really interesting thank you. There's surprisingly little information on hard drugs online, after cannibus (and I don't need online to tell me what that's like) it becomes very scarce, and I'm always interested when these come up.

Most questions I'm interested in have already been asked, however I have 3.

1). Are there many triggers for you and how often do you encounter them? Would seeing someone off their heads in the city center make you want to feel like you did during the time you used, do you feel sad or pity for them or is it a mixture of both?

2). What's the going rate for a gram?

3). Would you ever consider getting involved in drug rehabilitation services to help others, or would the temptation be too much?

Thanks again for the interesting insight, it is hard to come by often, especially such a personalised experience.

1. Yep both. Usually the former. I'm glad I'm not there now

2. €80

3. Yes, I'd like to.

But I need to solidify my own situation a bit first. I've been doing well enough, I'm clean 4 years, 1 off methadone but I'm still trying to put things back together. I don't think that I can really be a help to others until I get things back.

I doubt temptation would be much of an issue now, as described before it was everywhere, it's literally everywhere anytime you go into Dublin city center