Now Ye're Talking - to a recovered heroin user

I'm a recovered heroin user, AMA · 03-05-2018 12:19pm

John_D80 wrote: »

This could be a legendary AMA.

Best of luck in your continued recovery and new life.

How fussy are addicts these days about sharing needles?? Is there unwritten rules about needle sharing among addicts or do they just not care??

How do you feel about the legalization of cannibis and do you see it as a gateway drug?

Did you ever lie/cheat/steal or something similarly underhand in order to get drugs money. If so what’s the thing you regret most??

When you were a kid, what did you wanna be when you grew up?

Do you have children, and if so how did your past life affect you as a parent?

Thanks,

I don't know. I never really encountered it outside of prison. Closest I ever saw anybody outside come was buying sombody's 'spare'. There's a lot of needle 'exchange' programs who will hand them out on the street to combat this.

Yes, yes and yes. It's hard to say what I feel most guilty about, there's a lot. I suppose it's when someone was genuinely trying to help me out and I ripped them off (there's been a few)

Dunno really, maybe train driver

No, not yet

I'm a recovered heroin user, AMA · 03-05-2018 12:27pm

loyatemu wrote: »

Firstly, well done on getting clean. I watched the recent documentary on Mountjoy - it was profoundly depressing and made it clear that repeatedly locking addicts up is a waste of time and money.

I've read some addicts saying methadone is even worse than heroin - how did you find it as a method of getting clean, and do you think it might be better to provide addicts with heroin at least as a way of reducing drug-related crime and keeping them within the system?

Methadone is horrible, it's almost worse. I'm so glad that's gone from my life.

Everything about it is horrible, but the worst is that to get it you are surrounded by addicts. If you ever wanted to score heroin, just go to a methadone clinic...

Makes it hard to stay on track.

For your second point, I'd say yes and no. It a perfect world it would reduce drug-related crime, but it would be open to abuse. And it was essentially be the state enabling people. From my perspective now the money would be better spend on rehabilitation services.

Another poster asked me how this might work and I said I wasn't sure, but that realising potential and gaining a sense of self worth is the key.

Perhaps a rehab/detox center with a methadone/subutex program that also teaches trades. Then gives homeless addicts a chance to work or bulid things in the community, or perhaps even build their own homes.

I dunno, but achieving a sense of self worth is the key

I'm a recovered heroin user, AMA · 03-05-2018 12:31pm

....... wrote: »

This post has been deleted.

1. I just couldn't hack it anymore.

2. A friend I knew from when I was a teenager bumped into me in town, I had totally lost touch. She helped me with money from time to time, and let me stay on her couch once I started getting sorted. She reminded me of who I used to be and the potential I had inside, reminded me it wasn't gone. Like I said before, a sense of self worth and self respect, some goals...

John_D80 · 03-05-2018 12:38pm

Great answers so far.

Has your past been an obstacle to starting new romantic relationships since you gotten clean??

In your past life if you had a choice to steal a bag of heroin from your friend (also an addict) without any chance of him being able to get back at you, would you have done it?

You’ve mentioned methadone causes constipation. Does heroin do the same? ie: like in the bookies scene in train spotting!!

Did you ever get involved in selling/trafficking? I understand if this may not be a question you can answer.

I'm a recovered heroin user, AMA · 03-05-2018 12:42pm

goat2 wrote: »

It took a very strong person to get off that stuff, you went from doing well to rick bottom, had nothing to lose then, saw how others lived, and now understand more than any of us , how they live, Congratulations to you

“I don't measure a man's success by how high he climbs but how high he bounces when he hits bottom”

― George S. Patton Jr.

This quote made me feel better about things, I'm not really one for the whole 12 steps getting right with god and sitting in a circle telling addiction storys

I'm a recovered heroin user, AMA · 03-05-2018 12:47pm

John_D80 wrote: »

Great answers so far.

Has your past been an obstacle to starting new romantic relationships since you gotten clean??

In your past life if you had a choice to steal a bag of heroin from your friend (also an addict) without any chance of him being able to get back at you, would you have done it?

You’ve mentioned methadone causes constipation. Does heroin do the same? ie: like in the bookies scene in train spotting!!

Did you ever get involved in selling/trafficking? I understand if this may not be a question you can answer.

Yes it has on some occasions.

Usually not from a friend, it would usually be a one for all all for one attitude, we'd share and sort each other out. Mainly because you'd need the favor returned. But if it was a "friend" or someone else....

Yep, exact same. You'd pass pebbles every 2/3 weeks.

Yes, just minor street stuff. Once moved a big load from once place to another for someone and got rewarded handsomely for it.

John_D80 · 03-05-2018 12:59pm

I'm a recovered heroin user, AMA wrote: »

Yep, exact same. You'd pass pebbles every 2/3 weeks.

2 or 3 weeks?? Jesus!!!

I don’t want to come across like I’m obsessed with bowel movements or anything but surely addicts must suffer serious long term problems as a result.

Are there other long term purely physical effects commonly suffered by heroin addicts?

During your time as an addict would you have tried to discourage first-time users from getting involved in the heroin scene?

In general I would consider dealers at all levels to be subhuman scum for the way they target and exploit vulnerable people. Would you agree??

helimachoptor · 03-05-2018 1:14pm

John_D80 wrote: »

2 or 3 weeks?? Jesus!!!

I don’t want to come across like I’m obsessed with bowel movements or anything but surely addicts must suffer serious long term problems as a result.

Are there other long term purely physical effects commonly suffered by heroin addicts?

During your time as an addict would you have tried to discourage first-time users from getting involved in the heroin scene?

In general I would consider dealers at all levels to be subhuman scum for the way they target and exploit vulnerable people. Would you agree??

I'll be honest, from my experience addicts tend not to eat all that much, but even pebbles 2/3 weeks is pretty long and agree that along must have some impact

I'm a recovered heroin user, AMA · 03-05-2018 1:15pm

John_D80 wrote: »

2 or 3 weeks?? Jesus!!!

I don’t want to come across like I’m obsessed with bowel movements or anything but surely addicts must suffer serious long term problems as a result.

Are there other long term purely physical effects commonly suffered by heroin addicts?

During your time as an addict would you have tried to discourage first-time users from getting involved in the heroin scene?

In general I would consider dealers at all levels to be subhuman scum for the way they target and exploit vulnerable people. Would you agree??

Yep, seen as you are obsessed, sometimes it would require "manual removal". Nuff said about that.

Long term as in medical issues or just addiction/withdrawal issues?

Besides the obvious contagious diseases, abscesses/lesions. I had a friend lose his foot.

I doubt it does your kidneys liver or heart any good, but apparently I'm healthy enough.

If you want to know about withdrawal it's like a cold fever, nose and eyes running. It feels like maggots in your bone marrow, can't stop wriggling to stop them. Everything that touches your skin you can feel 1000x. No sleep for days, can't hold down food or liquid. Emotions start coming back amplified 1000x, I remember tearing up at some cheesy ESB (or something) ad, with the family and dog or whatever. Felt the right muppet

I'm a recovered heroin user, AMA · 03-05-2018 1:16pm

helimachoptor wrote: »

I'll be honest, from my experience addicts tend not to eat all that much, but even pebbles 2/3 weeks is pretty long and agree that along must have some impact

Yep at times I'd eat about twice a week max, lots of lucozade and 7up etc

I'm a recovered heroin user, AMA · 03-05-2018 1:38pm

I'm a recovered heroin user, AMA wrote: »

Methadone is horrible, it's almost worse. I'm so glad that's gone from my life.

Everything about it is horrible, but the worst is that to get it you are surrounded by addicts. If you ever wanted to score heroin, just go to a methadone clinic...

Makes it hard to stay on track.

For your second point, I'd say yes and no. It a perfect world it would reduce drug-related crime, but it would be open to abuse. And it was essentially be the state enabling people. From my perspective now the money would be better spend on rehabilitation services.

Another poster asked me how this might work and I said I wasn't sure, but that realising potential and gaining a sense of self worth is the key.

Perhaps a rehab/detox center with a methadone/subutex program that also teaches trades. Then gives homeless addicts a chance to work or bulid things in the community, or perhaps even build their own homes.

I dunno, but achieving a sense of self worth is the key

Just to add, I don't want to go and re-edit posts;

But the period when you are on methadone (for me) was like being in a no-man's land. Both mentally and physically, you are not an addict anymore, but you are still addicted. Trying to get your life in order, so you can't talk to or associate with people at the clinics. Also you can't mention it to any 'normal' people you meet. Also makes it really hard to find work or a course with the dispensary hours, or submission times for urine tests.

After a while I was able to get a prescription where my GP would do weekly urine analysis and I could collect in a pharmacy, but the first bit was really hard.

John_D80 · 03-05-2018 1:58pm

Fascinating reading so far.

Judging purely by your posts (spelling, punctuation, grammar etc) you appear to be at least pretty intelligent and/or reasonably well educated.

What age bracket do you fall into and what level of education have you completed?

Have you considered further education as an option for your future?

Were you employed prior to your addiction taking hold and if so in what area?

weemcd · 03-05-2018 2:07pm

Congratulations on getting clean. Also thank you for being so honest.

Is there "rock bottom moment?" where you were at your lowest point?

Now you are up and moving have you any longer term goals?

Homelessness and the problems that go with it seem to be on the rise, are there more people now in that situation?

I'm a recovered heroin user, AMA · 03-05-2018 2:08pm

John_D80 wrote: »

Fascinating reading so far.

Judging purely by your posts (spelling, punctuation, grammar etc) you appear to be at least pretty intelligent and/or reasonably well educated.

What age bracket do you fall into and what level of education have you completed?

Have you considered further education as an option for your future?

Were you employed prior to your addiction taking hold and if so in what area?

Ha, my spelling and grammar hasn't been great! I'm phone posting though, so forgive me.

I'm no intellectual, but I've always tried to be self educated. I'm really interested in science/engineering and history.

So, for most of that period I had to kinda dumb myself down. Even adopt more of an accent to avoid becoming a victim. I basically had to pretend to not be myself for several years.

I'm in my early 30's now

I'm currently doing a course, it's not in the field I'd like to work in. But it's a start.

I had a pretty good job in an IT/Security role before all this

thebull85 · 03-05-2018 2:09pm

Is Clover Hill really "Sober Hill"

I'm a recovered heroin user, AMA · 03-05-2018 2:14pm

weemcd wrote: »

Congratulations on getting clean. Also thank you for being so honest.

Is there "rock bottom moment?" where you were at your lowest point?

Now you are up and moving have you any longer term goals?

Homelessness and the problems that go with it seem to be on the rise, are there more people now in that situation?

Thanks...

Yep, there were many rock bottom moments. I know there's only supposed to be one!!

Just to try get a life back, I want to feel like I am contributing something. I've always liked making things/doing things. I just want someone to tell me I've done a good days work if you know what I mean. Just feel worthwhile and like I'm earning my keep.

I don't know how many more or less people there are now, but from my experience its like 40% people with mental health issues, 40% addicts and the other 20% are people stuck with nowhere to go, then those fields intersect and people cross over.

I'm a recovered heroin user, AMA · 03-05-2018 2:15pm

thebull85 wrote: »

Is Clover Hill really "Sober Hill"

Compared to the Joy? Yeah, a lot less stuff gets in. But it's still there.

begbysback · 03-05-2018 2:59pm

What's the closest you've come to using (any drug in any form) in the last 4 years?

shivermetimber · 03-05-2018 2:59pm

I'm a recovered heroin user, AMA wrote: »

Methadone is horrible, it's almost worse. I'm so glad that's gone from my life.

Everything about it is horrible, but the worst is that to get it you are surrounded by addicts. If you ever wanted to score heroin, just go to a methadone clinic...

Makes it hard to stay on track.

For your second point, I'd say yes and no. It a perfect world it would reduce drug-related crime, but it would be open to abuse. And it was essentially be the state enabling people. From my perspective now the money would be better spend on rehabilitation services.

Another poster asked me how this might work and I said I wasn't sure, but that realising potential and gaining a sense of self worth is the key.

Perhaps a rehab/detox center with a methadone/subutex program that also teaches trades. Then gives homeless addicts a chance to work or bulid things in the community, or perhaps even build their own homes.

I dunno, but achieving a sense of self worth is the key

Can you expand a little on how the methadone program works? Do you receive any counseling or the likes while the weaning off process begins and is there any aftercare / mentor set up etc while you transition back into society or are you on your own?

miamee · 03-05-2018 3:01pm

Did you ever bump into people from your 'home' life while you were on the streets? Would you avoid talking to them or would you even notice them? I suppose we all have this idea of drug addicts being out of it all the time but I suppose you're not high the whole time, you have to have some sober moments as well. Or did you?

I know you said you lost your job and your relationship also ended, is this what led to you becoming homeless, had you nowhere else to go? Or did the drugs come first nad then put out of wherever you were living?

I'm a recovered heroin user, AMA · 03-05-2018 3:04pm

begbysback wrote: »

What's the closest you've come to using (any drug in any form) in the last 4 years?

Drinking, it let me to make late night phone calls. I avoid that now!!!

I'm a recovered heroin user, AMA · 03-05-2018 3:07pm

shivermetimber wrote: »

Can you expand a little on how the methadone program works? Do you receive any counseling or the likes while the weaning off process begins and is there any aftercare / mentor set up etc while you transition back into society or are you on your own?

You can opt in for that if you want, for me I've always found counseling and 12 steps etc really patronising and condescending. Talking about and rehashing issues, or talking about drug use constantly just makes me want to use.

I'm sure it works for some, but I didn't like it. But yeah, those services are there.

beans · 03-05-2018 3:08pm

Just noticing the title of this thread; do you consider yourself 'recovered', or would you say it's an on-going process?

I'm a recovered heroin user, AMA · 03-05-2018 3:14pm

miamee wrote: »

Did you ever bump into people from your 'home' life while you were on the streets? Would you avoid talking to them or would you even notice them? I suppose we all have this idea of drug addicts being out of it all the time but I suppose you're not high the whole time, you have to have some sober moments as well. Or did you?

I know you said you lost your job and your relationship also ended, is this what led to you becoming homeless, had you nowhere else to go? Or did the drugs come first nad then put out of wherever you were living?

Sry answered your questions out of order

Yeah, I lost my job and broke up with my ex at the same time. Couldn't pay the rent, tried to find someone to let the spare room but couldn't make it work in time.

Spent a little while staying on various friends couches and stuff, looking for work etc, they were all in relationships/had jobs/sided with my ex. So eventually it was clear I was overstaying my welcome so I'd stay in shelters or get the night bus etc.

Occasionally would made side-eye contact with someone I knew before, but don't know how recognisable I was. Only time I was out of it was when I was goofing, rest of the time I was almost hyper-aware

I'm a recovered heroin user, AMA · 03-05-2018 3:18pm

beans wrote: »

Just noticing the title of this thread; do you consider yourself 'recovered', or would you say it's an on-going process?

People say you're never not an addict and it's a lifelong process, I dunno I feel like it's something I've put behind me.

But like I said, there are certain triggers that I have to avoid now, so in that sense I have to be on-guard and I guess I will be for the rest of my life.

In the same sense, all I have to do is remember the mantra "don't take drugs, it messes your life up" just like everyone else!!

I'm a recovered heroin user, AMA · 03-05-2018 3:24pm

I'm a recovered heroin user, AMA wrote: »

You can opt in for that if you want, for me I've always found counseling and 12 steps etc really patronising and condescending. Talking about and rehashing issues, or talking about drug use constantly just makes me want to use.

I'm sure it works for some, but I didn't like it. But yeah, those services are there.

95% of the people on methadone programs just go in and get their daily/weekly dose. I'd say about 60%+ abuse the system, are still using. Sell the methadone etc.

It's like running a gauntlet to get through that program too, whilst still being subjected to all the same vices as before. Like I said, those services do exist, but its mainly an in-out attitude

N.96 · 03-05-2018 3:57pm

Fairplay for coming through the other side!

How old are you now?

Where do you see yourself in 5 years time?

super_furry · 03-05-2018 4:00pm

As someone who’s been there, do you think that the proposed injecting rooms I. Dublin would be a beneficial thing to help addicts?

I'm a recovered heroin user, AMA · 03-05-2018 4:01pm

N.96 wrote: »

Fairplay for coming through the other side!

How old are you now?

Where do you see yourself in 5 years time?

Thanks!

I'm early 30's

Would like to have a stable job, maybe own a home, have a family....

I even never learnt to drive (legally) so I guess it's a lot to do in 5 years!!

I'm a recovered heroin user, AMA · 03-05-2018 4:02pm

super_furry wrote: »

As someone who’s been there, do you think that the proposed injecting rooms I. Dublin would be a beneficial thing to help addicts?

It can't do any bad, and it would certainly help the surrounding community. Properly regulated, I can't see any harm.

Now Ye're Talking - to a recovered heroin user

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