What practice/beliefs make you instantly lose respect for someone?

anyone who doesn't wash their hands after using a toilet, scumbags.

People who beep at me when I’m driving a tractor on a main road - yes I know I’m slowing you down but I’m traffic also, I pay road motor tax, I’m working and I’ll pull in when there’s a chance to, you driving by me giving me the finger and blowing your horn makes me laugh, you’ll always get a wave from me to annoy you more
Particular mention for those that have their son in the front seat giving it loads too - super parenting job

Green&Red wrote: »

People who talk about their kids nonstop, in particular co-workers - I can barely tolerate you never mind your kids

God yeah. My wife's friends are like that.

Nobody gives a **** about your kids. We have 2 little darlings but we have enough cop on to appreciate that nobody wants to hear about them.

I find it worse in England (wife is English) and that is all they can talk about.

In fact a few years ago we were back in Ireland in my local at Christmas with a few of my Irish buddies. There were 4 couples- we are all married and a truckload of kids between us.

No exaggeration there was not one single minute taken up discussing our kids.

I pointed it out to the wife afterwards and she agreed- "Can you imagine being out with X,Y and Z back in England on a night out and NOT discussing kids?

She acknowledged it would be unthinkable. Even her childless friends have turned into sad cat/dog lovers- that's all they can talk about. They even give us animal themed tat as presents. We do not have pets.

Green&Red wrote: »

People who talk about their kids nonstop, in particular co-workers - I can barely tolerate you never mind your kids

Oh god yes! Had one years ago while a very nice lady and great colleague would never stfu about every minute detail of her kids lives and goings on. I mean it was endless. Their names are all forever ingrained in my memory.

partyguinness wrote: »

God yeah. My wife's friends are like that.

Nobody gives a **** about your kids. We have 2 little darlings but we have enough cop on to appreciate that nobody wants to hear about them.

I find it worse in England (wife is English) and that is all they can talk about.

In fact a few years ago we were back in Ireland in my local at Christmas with a few of my Irish buddies. There were 4 couples- we are all married and a truckload of kids between us.

No exaggeration there was not one single minute taken up discussing our kids.

I pointed it out to the wife afterwards and she agreed- "Can you imagine being out with X,Y and Z back in England on a night out and NOT discussing kids?

She acknowledged it would be unthinkable. Even her childless friends have turned into sad cat/dog lovers- that's all they can talk about. They even give us animal themed tat as presents. We do not have pets.

Yes very true about the English thing- especially on social media where I’m friends with a few colleagues that have kids- all they ever post are pics of their kids plus their latest going’s on or events. Posts about what they said or funny anecdotes. Some Irish colleagues you’d barely even know they had kids.
Working with English people is the exact opposite of what I expected- they are far more nosey generally than Irish colleagues I’ve had with few work/personal life boundaries.

road_high wrote: »

Yes very true about the English thing- especially on social media where I’m friends with a few colleagues that have kids- all they ever post are pics of their kids plus their latest going’s on or events. Posts about what they said or funny anecdotes. Some Irish colleagues you’d barely even know they had kids.
Working with English people is the exact opposite of what I expected- they are far more nosey generally than Irish colleagues I’ve had with few work/personal life boundaries.

Yes I have been working her nearly 10 years and they are very nosey.

I remember one night visiting a couple in England and their only child was in bed. What did they do? They actually got her out of bed and planked (toddler at the time) her in the middle of the living room so we could all just well basically look at her. It is like they could not handle not having their pride and joy to look at. We had gone over late so the child would be in bed...FFS.

I've had a few runs in with my own wife about it- I am a private person but she will discuss all things about us to friends etc. she complained one day that I don't tell her anything and I snapped back: "If I want half the effing town to know I'll tell you.' She is not a gossip but fcuk me.

She just accuses me of being repressed Irish.

I also found something you might say to a colleague will be repeated no matter what. Things that kinda goes without saying that are sensitive but here...well just don't say it is the lesson.

But at the same time they won't tell you something major like a few years back I was working in a small business with 17 people in total. One day one of the secretaries came into my office (nice lady late 40s just knew her to say hello and exchange pleasantries) and ask me to process a matter relating to a death. She left it with me.

Fcuk me...it was her husband's death certificate- he had only died from cancer a few weeks earlier and nobody bothered to mention this little fact to me.

There was two office juniors in the adjoining room...and they fcuking knew but yet I chatted with them everyday and all the usual office banter and not one of them thought about mentioning to me that X's husband had died after a long battle with cancer. They just looked at each other in silence.

I've read about local murders and all sorts weeks after the events from the internet. Nobody local would even know about it.

Yes all in all I do find the English very self absorbed. Anything outside there own little circle they don't want to know about. Good luck having a chat about current affairs or politics. I only get to chat about Brexit when I am back in Ireland.

I haven’t worked in England per say but had frequent trips over to their office and there for days- the level of gossip and scrutiny on other colleagues was something to behold. Half the day seemed to be taken up with what somebody had said, did or not did. Or if someone was late or leaving early.
Much more personal than you’d get here for sure. Irish people tend to mind their own business in work which is great and proper work personal life boundaries.

partyguinness wrote: »

God yeah. My wife's friends are like that.

Nobody gives a **** about your kids. We have 2 little darlings but we have enough cop on to appreciate that nobody wants to hear about them.

I find it worse in England (wife is English) and that is all they can talk about.

In fact a few years ago we were back in Ireland in my local at Christmas with a few of my Irish buddies. There were 4 couples- we are all married and a truckload of kids between us.

No exaggeration there was not one single minute taken up discussing our kids.

I pointed it out to the wife afterwards and she agreed- "Can you imagine being out with X,Y and Z back in England on a night out and NOT discussing kids?

She acknowledged it would be unthinkable. Even her childless friends have turned into sad cat/dog lovers- that's all they can talk about. They even give us animal themed tat as presents. We do not have pets.

Never a truer word said. I grew up with aunts and uncles in England. We always felt inferior to our cousins over there. Each trip to Ireland by them, we were told of the fantastic achievements, their brilliance, their unimaginable work levels. In reality, now, they are a bunch of loosers and their mother is now talking the same ****e about their kids. Between running the local medical facilities (she is a secretary in a doctors office) to organising Glastonbury (she bought a ticket) to being in charge of the London Under ground (a train driver) we all felt we were much less talented than all of the kids over there.

As it turns out, us Irish kids have achieved far more in our lives than their kids, we don't have chips on our shoulders about them (they seem to think they are better than us), we also (all of my irish cousins) act like brothers and sisters. We are involved in each others lives, we are there for one another and look after each others parents by visiting and also making sure they are all ok.

This English thing of making your kids out to be Einstein is something that we now joke about.

People who talk during films at the cinema

You were well rid of him

NSAman wrote: »

Never a truer word said. I grew up with aunts and uncles in England. We always felt inferior to our cousins over there. Each trip to Ireland by them, we were told of the fantastic achievements, their brilliance, their unimaginable work levels. In reality, now, they are a bunch of loosers and their mother is now talking the same ****e about their kids. Between running the local medical facilities (she is a secretary in a doctors office) to organising Glastonbury (she bought a ticket) to being in charge of the London Under ground (a train driver) we all felt we were much less talented than all of the kids over there.

As it turns out, us Irish kids have achieved far more in our lives than their kids, we don't have chips on our shoulders about them (they seem to think they are better than us), we also (all of my irish cousins) act like brothers and sisters. We are involved in each others lives, we are there for one another and look after each others parents by visiting and also making sure they are all ok.

This English thing of making your kids out to be Einstein is something that we now joke about.

That's gas. I remember my wife had a flat mate renting off her when I met her first. Background- I work in the professional services industry, I have multiple degrees, masters and a few other professional qualifications. I now run the firm I am working in- in fact I was head hunted for the role so compared to all my English wife's friends and family I am head and shoulders above any of them when it comes to career and education etc.

Now sorry to ****e on like that but when the flat mate's parents asked my wife what I did for a living the mother goes: "Oh we have one those in our family too."

Really. It is true she works in the same industry generally but 'Gemma' is a part time typist (nothing wrong with that at all) but the mother was trying to equate that we did the same thing. Like the hospital porter claiming to run the A&E ward.

In fact, we have heard through the grapevine that my secretary likes to big herself up to her friends (has got back to us). She keeps the place running and I am basically her bitch rather than her actual employer...as long as she keeps wearing those skirts she can say what she wants...:D

Is it the more defined class system in England whereby people must talk themselves up to feel important?
Have an Indian friend also that works in a call Centre basically but you’d swear he was running the financial operation to listen to him. I try change the subject when it comes to work

Edit: Thought I was in the TA thread!

road_high wrote: »

Is it the more defined class system in England whereby people must talk themselves up to feel important?
Have an Indian friend also that works in a call Centre basically but you’d swear he was running the financial operation to listen to him. I try change the subject when it comes to work

I personally think, it has more to do with being "seen" to be successful and then the stories escalate. Self aggrandisement is something that is in the English physche. They have to be better than they actually are, that is evident in the way they react to people in work situations at home and also to foreign partners and colleagues even. The amount of times I have literally torn someone apart to show them their mistake and they STILL will not admit it because they are English and know it all (due to their "title" in a company).

The industries I work in currently, are dominated by famous English people. Unfortunately, the snooty attitudes from Secretaries leave a lot to be desired. "No you may not speak to Lord XXXXXXXXX, who are you?"... the fact that Lord XXXXXXXX is a personal friend, who when I put the phone down with the secretary I call on his mobile... does not seem to register with these people. They seem to think that they are protecting their boss when in actual fact they are harming business contacts.

As mentioned before, most of my cousins are high achievers and are so grounded that it's a pleasure to be part of family with them. They all have that sense of humour that Irish people are known for. Their children are all highly educated and either doing wonderful things abroad or getting on with their lives and enjoying themselves. They leave their English cousins in the shade both personality wise and education wise. Irish kids are much more "streetwise" when it comes to personal interactions with people.. IMHO!

NSAman wrote: »

I personally think, it has more to do with being "seen" to be successful and then the stories escalate. Self aggrandisement is something that is in the English physche. They have to be better than they actually are, that is evident in the way they react to people in work situations at home and also to foreign partners and colleagues even. The amount of times I have literally torn someone apart to show them their mistake and they STILL will not admit it because they are English and know it all (due to their "title" in a company).

The industries I work in currently, are dominated by famous English people. Unfortunately, the snooty attitudes from Secretaries leave a lot to be desired. "No you may not speak to Lord XXXXXXXXX, who are you?"... the fact that Lord XXXXXXXX is a personal friend, who when I put the phone down with the secretary I call on his mobile... does not seem to register with these people. They seem to think that they are protecting their boss when in actual fact they are harming business contacts.

As mentioned before, most of my cousins are high achievers and are so grounded that it's a pleasure to be part of family with them. They all have that sense of humour that Irish people are known for. Their children are all highly educated and either doing wonderful things abroad or getting on with their lives and enjoying themselves. They leave their English cousins in the shade both personality wise and education wise. Irish kids are much more "streetwise" when it comes to personal interactions with people.. IMHO!

That is why the 'white' native English are falling behind and left in the shade by more ambitious 'foreigners' i.e. second generation South Asian.

I have clients that pull up in Porsches, Bentleys Audi R8s but they live at home with their parents! TBH all Asian.

For example how many Asian sports people do you see? Very very few...they are shoehorned into university and medicine etc.

I pass two Grammar Schools on my way to work every morning- 90-95% are Asian. I also pass the local 'college' i.e. where you go at 16 if you are not academic- 90-95% white.

I have had comments about how well I get on with clients and they like me...being Irish I have zero hangups about class, schools etc like the native white population. The Asians like me for the same reason..I am not looking down on them and they also remember the discrimination the Irish suffered in the past like them so they feel this strange kinship. Happy to milk it for new business contacts.

Sweeping wild generalisations are fun.

Apple (The company, not the fruit) fanatics
Scientologists
Moon-landing & 9/11 conspiracy theorists
Born-again christians (Especially when they refer to themselves as Christians, implying that Catholics and other Protestant churches aren't true Christians).
Vegans

Now don't get me wrong: I have no problem with any of these beliefs per say. The issue is that each of these belief-systems are VERY evangelical and can be quite aggressive in their beliefs and attempts to convert:

"You don't have iPhoneX-23? But it's whiter. Why don't you have one?" "No, I have iPhone 6 for work and a personal Android phone" "Oh will you shut up about Android!!!"
Scientologists... Nothing to say
Moon-Landing (and especially 9/11 theorists). Suddenly aa 1 hour youtube video made by a "scientist" makes everyone a metallurgist who is able to prove the melting point of any metal under every circumstance.
Born Again Christians. "I'm a christian. Look at my fish. No there is no evolution but all creatures fit on the arc because they came from similar source animals. You are Catholic? OK. Well, I'm Christian"
"I don't eat meat" "Hi, how are you, my name is grover" "I don't eat meat" "I wasn't offering" "I don't eat meat"

I don't have a problem with hipsters. I do find myself thinking snide comments about their identical "non-conformity". For someone who tries so hard to be different it is remarkable how similar they are. But then I berate myself for this snide comment. Who are they hurting? No, I don't have a problem with them. They are not hurting anybody and just 'cos I'm a grumpy old man, it doesn't mean they should change.

There is a shallowness to millenials that I find a bit sad: I had a conversation with my niece who is a millenial and asked her about what her generation looks for when they go out and she genuinely responded that they would rather go to a flying-bottle bar with no chance of meeting someone if there was a chance of a good instagram photo.

But again, that's a generational thing. I just find it a bit sad and lonely.

partyguinness wrote: »

Sweeping wild generalisations are fun.

I hate ALL sweeping generalisations and everyone who makes them.

Widdershins wrote: »

Taking photos of strangers without consent. Creepy .

FB friend posted one of her 19 year old lodger's bum, sneakily taken while he was preparing food . I did lose what respect I had for her.

What a strange thing to do!