Asking work colleague for money for giving lift to work

Tork · 12-06-2020 1:25pm

I don't mind giving colleagues an occasional lift if they're stuck but there's no way I'd ever want it to turn into a regular thing. What'd really tee me off is having to change my routine to facilitate someone else. Part of the enjoyment of having a car is the flexibility it brings. There's many a time I've left work and gone somewhere other than straight home. Having to ferry this colleague around takes that away and it's something I know I'd start to resent pretty quickly. I wouldn't ask him for money because that simply cements the arrangement and makes it harder to back out of. I'd be inventing a gym to go to straight after work or something else that entails going in a different direction.

The insurance angle is something else to think about. If you had an accident, don't rule out your colleague putting in a claim. And maybe if you're accepting money for carrying them to work, it's invalidating your policy.

Doctors room ghost · 12-06-2020 1:36pm

I fcukin detest stinges

12-06-2020 1:38pm

Augeo wrote: »

Was any offered?

I did. They declined.

Alf Veedersane · 12-06-2020 1:40pm

Kylta wrote: »

I'm curious to know the passenger who gets a lift of the OP, has the passenger done him any favours over the last four months. Its the passenger repaying him for his generosity in kind. Maybe buying him his lunch, a few pints if his in the local etc?

Has evidently done none of the above.

blackbox · 12-06-2020 1:46pm

Your passenger is a miserable leech with a sense of entitlement.

I would not ask for money as he will then expect to treat you like a paid service and complain any time you are late or need to go somewhere else.

End the arrangement rather than ask for money.

wonski · 12-06-2020 1:56pm

Tork wrote: »

I don't mind giving colleagues an occasional lift if they're stuck but there's no way I'd ever want it to turn into a regular thing. What'd really drive me cracked is having to change my routine to facilitate someone else. Part of the enjoyment of having a car is the flexibility it brings. There's many a time I've left work and gone somewhere other than straight home. Having to ferry this colleague around takes that away and it's something I know I'd start to resent pretty quickly. I wouldn't ask him for money because that simply cements the arrangement. I'd be inventing a gym to go to straight after work or something else that entails going in a different direction.

The insurance angle is something else to think about. If you had an accident, don't rule out your colleague putting in a claim. And maybe if you're accepting money for carrying them to work, it's invalidating your policy.

It has to be repeated re insurance that you are allowed to take a payment to cover the cost of travel from passengers and it will not invalidate insurance.

All policies have it listed if you ever take your time to read. And it's not hidden away

Tork · 12-06-2020 2:03pm

I never worry about such things because I don't give lifts

80j2lc5y7u6qs9 · 12-06-2020 2:15pm

Never travelled in any car share without paying. Just invent a fear of covid OP.

I did a once off job for someone once who did not pay the amount I asked and she was very weathy. I didn't agree a price at the start. Next time she asked I told her that a price would have to be set at the start. she lost interest

Now anyone who asks i tell them they will have to pay and we will have to agree the price before i start.Its amazin the fok want you to work free because the 'know' you

So OP learn by this and if anyone asks you again set your rules before hand

Tork · 12-06-2020 2:26pm

I've always offered to pay for the petrol too. Or if that's refused (as is usually the case for these one-offs), I do the driving next time there's a reason to go somewhere. Nobody likes a stinge and they're the sort of people I do as little as possible for.

wonski · 12-06-2020 2:36pm

Jacoby Uninterested Scabby wrote: »

Never travelled in any car share without paying. Just invent a fear of covid OP.

I did a once off job for someone once who did not pay the amount I asked and she was very weathy. I didn't agree a price at the start. Next time she asked I told her that a price would have to be set at the start. she lost interest

Now anyone who asks i tell them they will have to pay and we will have to agree the price before i start.Its amazin the fok want you to work free because the 'know' you

So OP learn by this and if anyone asks you again set your rules before hand

That's a bit extreme, but I guess it works as you don't have to give anyone a lift I guess

py2006 · 12-06-2020 2:40pm

I always found this one really odd. I would NEVER ask for fuel money if I offer somebody a lift. Especially if I am going there myself anyway.

Even if I was offered I would most likely refuse it anyway.

80j2lc5y7u6qs9 · 12-06-2020 2:42pm

Signore Fancy Pants wrote: »

Been in this situation before and didnt request money as I knew him really well, guy didnt live en route either so required detours.

It was saving him a substantial amount of money and time plus extra time in bed whereas Id have to be up 30 or so minutes earlier just to take account of the detours.

Eventually he got a car and started splitting the driving....all grand....although I did throw him a few quid or get coffee/lunch on those days.

A few years later he got rid of the car....apparently "there was no point both of us paying for one if we were going to the same place" :pac: He now lived 500m away from me.

Kept collecting him everyday, no money offered. I got a pain in my bollox and said it to him. Thought all was good, stopped in the garage and stuck €20 in the car and he went into the garage. He came out and got back in and I hopped into the car and started to drive off. He says "are you not going to pay for the diesel?". So after our talk, he went into the garage and bought a sandwich and a tea and walked back out. I assumed he was paying for the fuel!

That was the end of it and I started going into work 2 hours early or leaving late or saying I had to go somewhere after work etc. Used to drive by him at the bus stop then.

Its you that ends up paying OP. It all good if they live en route....except.....you are the one paying for tax, insurance, fuel, the car, maintenance, NCT, etc. They are just leeching.

what a mean bastard.I know someone like that. I dropped him as he is too depressing to be around. This person would want you to buy things so he could borrow them. He's too mean to cloth himself properly "i don't have time to buy cloths "It is a sad life they have

mistersifter · 12-06-2020 2:44pm

I had an experience with a lift stinge myself back in college.

We were all struggling for cash as is generally the case with students.

A bloke in my class lived near enough and starts asking for lifts to and from college most days. No prob.

He was then saving 30-40 quid per week on public transport. Also worth mentioning that the college was promoting car pooling to split costs and reduce traffic in the area.

After a few weeks I started to think it was a bit scabby not to offer a cent for petrol. He was in the boozer half the time in college and chain smoked!

Then one day he asked me to collect him from a nearby pub when he wasnt in class. I stupidly did this. The next morning he sparked up a joint in me car without asking was it ok to smoke.

I found this both hilarious and infuriating. What a c*nt! It was at the point I told him I wanted petrol money.

He started paying me til it eventually fizzled out somehow.

Doctors room ghost · 12-06-2020 2:47pm

py2006 wrote: »

I always found this one really odd. I would NEVER ask for fuel money if I offer somebody a lift. Especially if I am going there myself anyway.

Even if I was offered I would most likely refuse it anyway.

In this case the leech never offered any money and it’s been going on 4 months,not a once off lift.

80j2lc5y7u6qs9 · 12-06-2020 2:48pm

wonski wrote: »

That's a bit extreme, but I guess it works as you don't have to give anyone a lift I guess

what is extreme? That some big business person did not want to pay.If i went to buy in her business i would have to pay top dollar. I hate scabby mean penny pinchers. i know someone who goes around the car park looking and picking up one cent coins. Also he had to go to a funeral and bought a black trousers in Dunnes. Went to funeral and then brought it back for refund

80j2lc5y7u6qs9 · 12-06-2020 2:49pm

py2006 wrote: »

I always found this one really odd. I would NEVER ask for fuel money if I offer somebody a lift. Especially if I am going there myself anyway.

Even if I was offered I would most likely refuse it anyway.

Did the op offer or was he asked? It does not say

Agricola · 12-06-2020 2:53pm

Had a similar thing with a friend many years ago. I certainly wasn't expecting money for all the lifts, but a bit of recognition by way of buying a feckin' bottle of coke once in a blue moon for the designated driver wouldn't have been too much to ask. But some people are just tone deaf to that stuff or just tight as a cat's arse. He was both. Unsurprisingly we're no longer friends!

80j2lc5y7u6qs9 · 12-06-2020 2:58pm

Agricola wrote: »

Had a similar thing with a friend many years ago. I certainly wasn't expecting money for all the lifts, but a bit of recognition by way of buying a feckin' bottle of coke once in a blue moon for the designated driver wouldn't have been too much to ask. But some people are just tone deaf to that stuff or just tight as a cat's arse. He was both. Unsurprisingly we're no longer friends!

It's kinda the principle. Some are dirt mean. peel an orange in their pocket as they say

80j2lc5y7u6qs9 · 12-06-2020 3:07pm

wonski wrote: »

There is no insurance issue for starters, even if you do get money back for petrol etc, unless your insurance does not allow you to commute.

There are however people out there who will never get you even a bottle of wine once a year after you give them a lift for a year.

One of those I guess since the op brought the issue up.

COVID 19 is your friend this year. Perfect excuse

It's nice to be nice. Some will take advantage for years if they can, though.

Does some insurance not allow you to commute?

Cupatae · 12-06-2020 3:13pm

nails1 wrote: »

Is it acceptable to ask a colleague for cash for picking him up and giving lift to work. His house is on my direct route to work so I’m not going out of way or spending extra cash to give him a lift in and dropping him home.

look ur going that way anyway, bit of a dickhead move not to give money atleast occasionally for fuel, to me it wouldnt be worth the hassle.

But if it is say it straight out ur paying half for fuel, it ll be cheaper than ull be payin for the bus and ya get picked up at ur door. win win for both.

Cupatae · 12-06-2020 3:14pm

Jacoby Uninterested Scabby wrote: »

It's kinda the principle. Some are dirt mean. peel an orange in their pocket as they say

They d check the bed to see if they lost any sleep

80j2lc5y7u6qs9 · 12-06-2020 3:19pm

Cupatae wrote: »

look ur going that way anyway, bit of a dickhead move not to give money atleast occasionally for fuel, to me it wouldnt be worth the hassle.

But if it is say it straight out ur paying half for fuel, it ll be cheaper than ull be payin for the bus and ya get picked up at ur door. win win for both.

I would drop him. as others said you do not want an "arrangement" with someone like that

Treppen · 12-06-2020 3:24pm

Cupatae wrote: »

They d check the bed to see if they lost any sleep

They take the wallpaper with them when they move house....
Hmmmm....
Are they from Cavan or Kerry OP?

Treppen · 12-06-2020 3:26pm

Slightly mist some water on the passenger seat each time.

endacl · 12-06-2020 3:26pm

nails1 wrote: »

Is it acceptable to ask a colleague for cash for picking him up and giving lift to work. His house is on my direct route to work so I’m not going out of way or spending extra cash to give him a lift in and dropping him home.

Mister Vain · 12-06-2020 3:34pm

I used to give a woman a lift into work. It wasn't out of my way but she used to throw a 20 at me once a month. Either that or she'd pull my handbrake.

wonski · 12-06-2020 3:47pm

Jacoby Uninterested Scabby wrote: »

Does some insurance not allow you to commute?

If it doesn't allow you to commute then you should take a bus to work, too.

Edit. Just reread your question. Some insurers do specifically ask if you commute to work

JayRoc · 12-06-2020 3:55pm

road_high wrote: »

Added weight burns more fuel and wear and tear on a car. Fairly obvious I would have thought

Jacoby Uninterested Scabby wrote: »

I did a once off job for someone once who did not pay the amount I asked and she was very weathy. I didn't agree a price at the start. Next time she asked I told her that a price would have to be set at the start

I genuinely can't tell if some of these replies are joking or not

McGrath5 · 12-06-2020 3:56pm

I'd hate to be in an arrangement like this, is your man some type of overgrown man child who can't get himself to and from work?

OP just tell the guy your routine has changed and you're going to knock the lift thing on it's head, come on you're a grown up, sort it out.

fits · 12-06-2020 4:13pm

McGrath5 wrote: »

I'd hate to be in an arrangement like this, is your man some type of overgrown man child who can't get himself to and from work?

OP just tell the guy your routine has changed and you're going to knock the lift thing on it's head, come on you're a grown up, sort it out.

No point two cars going if one will do. Saves pollution, traffic congestion etc. But everyone should pay their own way.

retro:electro · 12-06-2020 4:21pm

I did it once for a few months and never get myself into such an arrangement again. There’s nothing like finishing a shift and getting into the car by yourself, listening to shlte on the radio, talking to yourself, fart if you need to, whatever! Bringing someone home from work just prolongs the social charade of the day when you want to switch off and have peace.

OP if I were you I’d just say it’s not something you can commit to anymore. Don’t get tangled up in excuses or lies, you don’t even owe him a reason. You were very good to do what you did for four months and if you don’t want to do it anymore then that’s okay.

wonski · 12-06-2020 4:28pm

fits wrote: »

No point two cars going if one will do. Saves pollution, traffic congestion etc. But everyone should pay their own way.

It's often one pays all. Another one gets all.

I know of a few that would not even consider moving closer to work because of the price. While not having a car at the same time. They just stick to their team commuter belt and expect to be driven in. Be sure to be on time and make sure to let them know if you go for holidays etc. You definitely need to ring them if you call in sick or anything like that. They actually know when you are on holidays, but good to let them know in case they forget.

_Kaiser_ · 12-06-2020 4:45pm

retro:electro wrote: »

I did it once for a few months and never get myself into such an arrangement again. There’s nothing like finishing a shift and getting into the car by yourself, listening to shlte on the radio, talking to yourself, fart if you need to, whatever! Bringing someone home from work just prolongs the social charade of the day when you want to switch off and have peace.

OP if I were you I’d just say it’s not something you can commit to anymore. Don’t get tangled up in excuses or lies, you don’t even owe him a reason. You were very good to do what you did for four months and if you don’t want to do it anymore then that’s okay.

This - all of this. No chance I'd be having to hang around waiting on someone, or alternatively feeling under pressure to get out to meet them - ESPECIALLY if they weren't paying a cent towards the costs.

But on that last point.. I think it might impact on insurance in the event of an accident if you were taking money too as technically it's no longer "social domestic and pleasure" but more like a cab for hire.

I could be wrong of course, but the downsides seem not worth the hassle on several fronts.

wonski · 12-06-2020 4:51pm

_Kaiser_ wrote: »

This - all of this. No chance I'd be having to hang around waiting on someone, or alternatively feeling under pressure to get out to meet them - ESPECIALLY if they weren't paying a cent towards the costs.

But on that last point.. I think it might impact on insurance in the event of an accident if you were taking money too as technically it's no longer "social domestic and pleasure" but more like a cab for hire.

I could be wrong of course, but the downsides seem not worth the hassle on several fronts.

Just pointing it out that you are allowed to take a payment, as long as it is just to cover the expenses, so you don't make it for profit, or God forbid, living

In the event of the accident I would be more worried about a chance of personal injury claim if you were at fault, but that's really outside the scope of the thread anyway.

frozenfrozen · 12-06-2020 5:13pm

wonski wrote: »

Just pointing it out that you are allowed to take a payment, as long as it is just to cover the expenses, so you don't make it for profit, or God forbid, living

In the event of the accident I would be more worried about a chance of personal injury claim if you were at fault, but that's really outside the scope of the thread anyway.

might be outside the scope of the thread but it would certainly turn an outside of insurance - 500 euro prang (regardless of fault) into something a lot more out of your own hands

12-06-2020 6:31pm

fits wrote: »

No point two cars going if one will do. Saves pollution, traffic congestion etc. But everyone should pay their own way.

I’d rather sit in traffic longer than have to have someone in the car with me and all the hassle it also brings.

JayRoc · 12-06-2020 6:38pm

frozenfrozen wrote: »

might be outside the scope of the thread but it would certainly turn an outside of insurance - 500 euro prang (regardless of fault) into something a lot more out of your own hands

I know very little about car insurance, are you saying the driver would have a liability issue as a result of carrying his colleague as a passenger (and potentially taking payment)? Other posters seem sure it isn't an issue

frozenfrozen · 12-06-2020 6:55pm

JayRoc wrote: »

I know very little about car insurance, are you saying the driver would have a liability issue as a result of carrying his colleague as a passenger (and potentially taking payment)? Other posters seem sure it isn't an issue

I'm just saying that if he got rear ended or did the rear ending etc, a lot of the time a small little thing like that could be sorted without going through insurance, but if you have a passenger who isn't a friend or family, they might be inclined to put in a claim for whiplash etc and all of a sudden you're exchanging legal letters with the leech who wouldn't even offer to pay for your petrol.

All it is, is another angle for these tried and true one sided bad arrangements - to not be worth it

andekwarhola · 12-06-2020 8:23pm

tedpan wrote: »

The additional weight of the person will add up over a year and the costs are pretty significant when calculated.

Must add thousands to the annual costs alright.

Purple Mountain · 12-06-2020 9:31pm

OP. If you're not going to say anything to him you need to change tack next week.
You'll need to spend a few bob but it sounds like you won't mind.
Order a takeaway every night next week. Alternate the food but get the gassy stuff. Garlic chip, vindaloo curry, taco fries.
Make sure you put the child lock on the car windows on Sunday night.
He'll never survive a week of hot boxing.

Tork · 12-06-2020 10:14pm

These sort of situations never get resolved by dropping hints or passive aggressiveness or making the car wet/stinky/uncomfortable. You have three options here.
1. Continue as you are, getting more and more annoyed at the tight fcker who's enjoying the convenience of being ferried to and from work free of charge
2. Ask for money towards the petrol (How much exactly are we talking about here?)
3. Tell them you're not going to pick them up any more. Don't be apologetic about it but state it as a fact.

Naos · 12-06-2020 10:46pm

4 months and hasn't offered anything?

Joke - not a hope I'd have given them a lift past the seond week because if I was them (I don't know the distance), I'd be throwing a courteous 20e a week at the least. They're getting taxi service 10 times a week.

Also, I'd be very reluctant to get into any arrangement like this. Having to explain to someone that you need to go somewhere else after work or feeling guilty because you're late in the morning for whatever reason... no chance.

road_high · 12-06-2020 11:39pm

Naos wrote: »

4 months and hasn't offered anything?

Joke - not a hope I'd have given them a lift past the seond week because if I was them (I don't know the distance), I'd be throwing a courteous 20e a week at the least. They're getting taxi service 10 times a week.

Also, I'd be very reluctant to get into any arrangement like this. Having to explain to someone that you need to go somewhere else after work or feeling guilty because you're late in the morning for whatever reason... no chance.

I just can’t understand how people get into these arrangements and can’t seem to get out of them. Users like the lift spongers have a homing instinct for soft touches like the OP and know they’ll be get away with it.
As they say if you want to be treated like a doormat you will be treated like a doormat

Strumms · 12-06-2020 11:41pm

“Dude, look, our arrangement getting you to work and back has to end. I’m going to be hitting the gym after work some evenings and before shift other days so won’t be passing your place anymore, from Monday the 22nd you need to make alternative arrangements to get there and back, sorry, but it’s been fun,”

Might not be the truth but ... “ I think you are the worst most ungrateful, freeloading cûnt I’ve encountered in my xx years of existence on this planet and sick of looking at your entitled mush “ might lead to some ill feeling.

g6fdyotp5nj2l7 · 12-06-2020 11:52pm

Knew of a lad once well my sister was good friends with a cousin of his , he used charge his mother petrol money to take her to hospital appointments and to the shops.
When his father ended up in hospital he used take petrol money off him for going to visit him.
Apparently this tulip fancied himself as a bit of a writer and when his mother passed away he advertised his services on the memory cards.
My sister saw the cards.

aslanroars · 13-06-2020 12:02am

I sometimes use to give lifts home from work to work colluges.then he said he would meet me at certain time in the morning.i said no i wasnt getting in routine for nobody in the morning.plus i hate talking to anyone in the morning.point is just say no it no longer suits you to give lifts .use to give another mate a lift.i had to get him out of bed.so one morning i arrived he was still in bed.i drove off never picked him up again.

Naos · 13-06-2020 12:06am

road_high wrote: »

I just can’t understand how people get into these arrangements and can’t seem to get out of them. Users like the lift spongers have a homing instinct for soft touches like the OP and know they’ll be get away with it.
As they say if you want to be treated like a doormat you will be treated like a doormat

Agreed but then, maybe some people are just nicer than us

I'm looking at this from the otherside though, I cannot understand how someone can get into this arrangment as the lift taker and not want to pay.

Two examples :

I've taken a lift from Dublin - Galway for a stag/weekend away from a matesand have either contributed for petrol or bought the first couple of pints for them.

I've had a work colleague give me a lift and I arranged to meet them at a garage closest to me and met them with a coffee in hand.

Junkyard Tom · 13-06-2020 12:31am

I wonder how many times you'd have to 'accidentally' shit yourself before he'd stop taking a lift.

florawest · 13-06-2020 12:56am

road_high wrote: »

Just because it wasn’t asked for doesn’t mean you shouldn’t offer. It’s common decency to pay your way especially if a regular thing

Exactly, the driver of the car doesn't get these things for free and €20 a week would still be cheaper according to the driver than getting public transport, why are people so greedy and inconsiderate, pay your way in life.

LawBoy2018 · 13-06-2020 1:06am

I am forever getting myself into situations like this lol. If I were you, I'd just stop giving him lifts altogether unless you're friends. Life's too short to be annoyed by something every day, when it's completely avoidable. Tell him to shag off. He's either taking you for a mug or has 0 social skills. Either way, it's time to give him the boot. Asking for cash would make you look scabby, even though you've been giving him lifts for months. People have short memories

Asking work colleague for money for giving lift to work

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