What difference does it make to you?

sbsquarepants · 20-11-2019 10:10am

Was just thinking the same thing. You should change your user name to Ray Donovan OP, no one fúcks with Ray Donovan :cool:
Ray Palmer however, might as well be Ray Darcy!

Do you think it could possibly be the punching that people are taking umbrage with, rather than the mustache or the peaky blinders suit?

I can only speak for myself, but i'm fairly sure it would be the punching i'd have the real issue with:D:D

magic_murph · 20-11-2019 11:06am

Ray Palmer wrote: »

And if that was true why would it bother you?

The other thing is I am not seeking attention but I am guessing that is what people think and want to ridicule people so they don't feel comfortable and toe the line.

Need a bigger hug?

Cee-Jay-Cee · 20-11-2019 11:51am

Ray Palmer wrote: »

Over the years I have worn some questionable fashion and styled my hair or beard as suited. Never been particularly bothered by others views and have a general live and let live view.
Of course others don't have the same view and think they should let people know what their view is. From just simple comments to violent attacks. What difference does it make to people that they do this? If I dye my hair and have a handle bar moustache what does it do to you?

From your post I'm assuming your a hipster (the most copied un-unique style ever) so you can rest easy in the knowledge that you are not alone and look just like everyone else. Your strive to be different has only served to make you completely anonymous as you look and dress just like everyone else.

Effects · 20-11-2019 11:55am

Cee-Jay-Cee wrote: »

From your post I'm assuming your you're a hipster.

That term doesn't really work anymore. It seems to be applied to anyone that doesn't wear boot cut jeans.

Cee-Jay-Cee · 20-11-2019 12:00pm

Effects wrote: »

That term doesn't really work anymore. It seems to be applied to anyone that doesn't wear boot cut jeans.

No, it still applies, beard, check shirt, trousers above the ankles, brown shoes...you know the type.

Effects · 20-11-2019 12:05pm

Cee-Jay-Cee wrote: »

No, it still applies, beard, check shirt, trousers above the ankles, brown shoes...you know the type.

Nah, that's the 2010 definition. You need to get with the times.

Ray Palmer · 20-11-2019 1:21pm

Cee-Jay-Cee wrote: »

From your post I'm assuming your a hipster (the most copied un-unique style ever) so you can rest easy in the knowledge that you are not alone and look just like everyone else. Your strive to be different has only served to make you completely anonymous as you look and dress just like everyone else.

Assume away. If I looked like everybody else why would anyone comment? If you paid attention you would have seen that was one mention of one particular look I have worn. Depending on how I feel my clothes vary. I am not what people call a hipster which in itself is just a very wide scope. I used to wear a lot of 70s clothing then 50s and after that a mix.

The fact you assume I am a hipster is part of the same limited mentality.

It is not about me getting attention or striving to be different. Your above statement just stinks of a belief you have a superior view on how others dress. Do you ever comment on what others wear because you certainly have a dim view of what you consider hipsters. Hard to believe you keep that to yourself

Effects · 20-11-2019 1:25pm

Ray Palmer wrote: »

Depending on how I feel my clothes vary. I am not what people call a hipster which in itself is just a very wide scope. I used to wear a lot of 70s clothing then 50s and after that a mix.

Have you got a look book?

Raconteuse · 20-11-2019 1:28pm

OP, no more apologies. No more, no more apologies.

sbsquarepants · 20-11-2019 1:50pm

Ray Palmer wrote: »

It is not about me getting attention or striving to be different.

I think you're trying to hard Ray.

Seems to me like you want to stand out for the attention (no harm in that, if that's what floats your boat) but then when you get that attention you throw a hissy fit - which is more than a little bit fúcked up!

I pass this bloke sometimes on my way home from work who dresses like Jack the Ripper - he had a fúcking top hat, a cane and a cape on the other day, doesn't bother me, he looked quite well (if more than a little out of place) in all honesty, but only a total gobshíte would expect people not to look or occasionally comment when they're wearing a top hat, walking cane and cape in clondalkin!

You have an wardrobe organised by decade and a died handlebar mustache ffs - of course you're striving to be different. That shít takes time, money and effort. I have a few pairs of jeans and about 50 t shirts in various degrees of tatters. If you asked me to dress 50's style i wouldn't have the faintest clue what that entailed.

Effects · 20-11-2019 1:55pm

sbsquarepants wrote: »

I have a few pairs of jeans

But what style are those jeans? That's the important question.

Ray Palmer · 20-11-2019 1:55pm

Effects wrote: »

Have you got a look book?

I have lots of books on fashion and style. You not being aware of a style doesn't mean anything.

Antares35 · 20-11-2019 1:59pm

Well, you've come on here and started the conversation by telling us all how different you are and asking why we wouldn't be ok with it. Maybe you do the same in real life and that is why you get people's backs up? I couldn't care less what kind of manky facial hair someone decides to sport, once I'm not going home with them, but if someone was all, "what are you looking at?" or expecting a reaction then that would irk me somewhat. You see it all the time with lads going around with bully breeds - looking around to see if people are looking at them. Who'd be bothered?

Effects · 20-11-2019 2:01pm

Ray Palmer wrote: »

I have lots of books on fashion and style. You not being aware of a style doesn't mean anything.

You not being aware of what a look book is says a lot about you though.

Ray Palmer · 20-11-2019 2:01pm

sbsquarepants wrote: »

I think you're trying to hard Ray.

Seems to me like you want to stand out for the attention (no harm in that, if that's what floats your boat) but then when you get that attention you throw a hissy fit - which is more than a little bit fúcked up!

I pass this bloke sometimes on my way home from work who dresses like Jack the Ripper - he had a fúcking top hat, a cane and a cape on the other day, doesn't bother me, he looked quite well (if more than a little out of place) in all honesty, but only a total gobshíte would expect people not to look or occasionally comment when they're wearing a top hat, walking cane and cape in clondalkin!

You have an wardrobe organised by decade and a died handlebar mustache ffs - of course you're striving to be different. That shít takes time, money and effort. I have a few pairs of jeans and about 50 t shirts in various degrees of tatters. If you asked me to dress 50's style i wouldn't have the faintest clue what that entailed.

You have no idea what I currently look like so wind you neck back there.Never said I had a wardrobe divided by decades. The fact you are ignorant about styles doesn't mean anything.

For somebody not bothered what people wear you are going out of your way to assume things about me.

If you really are clueless then you couldn't spot the difference between the Fonz and Ron Burgundy.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5 · 20-11-2019 2:09pm

Wow that live and let live attitude is really shining through there Ray!

Cee-Jay-Cee · 20-11-2019 2:25pm

Ray Palmer wrote: »

Assume away. If I looked like everybody else why would anyone comment? If you paid attention you would have seen that was one mention of one particular look I have worn. Depending on how I feel my clothes vary. I am not what people call a hipster which in itself is just a very wide scope. I used to wear a lot of 70s clothing then 50s and after that a mix.

The fact you assume I am a hipster is part of the same limited mentality.

It is not about me getting attention or striving to be different. Your above statement just stinks of a belief you have a superior view on how others dress. Do you ever comment on what others wear because you certainly have a dim view of what you consider hipsters. Hard to believe you keep that to yourself

Ray Palmer wrote: »

The point being I am not mixing in these circles they intrude on me as I go about my life. Part of it is certainly homophobic as certain people will assume sexuality based on clothing.

It isn't just some little scrotes but adults passing comment. If you don't like their joke they often become threatening or violent. I have come off worse for wear and other times it is them. After a few times I tend to sense the situation and am quite prepared to defend myself and others I just hit them straight away. Don't insult somebody if you don't want a punch

I think from reading the above, you are the actual problem. You appear to court trouble, I know and see plenty of people who dress differently to others and have never seen them getting abuse or into fights, yet you appear to experience it regularly. The common denominator here is you. I think you need to get on with your life and quit looking around to see who is looking at you as it very obviously bothers you or at least learn to walk away or just ignore idiots who feel the need to make stupid comments.

Effects · 20-11-2019 2:33pm

Ray Palmer wrote: »

I used to wear a lot of 70s clothing then 50s and after that a mix.

Ray Palmer wrote: »

If you really are clueless then you couldn't spot the difference between the Fonz and Ron Burgundy.

So you sport a mix of 70s and 50s, between Ron Burgandy and the Fonz, have a handlebar moustache and dyed hair, and like to start fights with people who look at you, which is what you want in the first place?

sbsquarepants · 20-11-2019 2:39pm

Ray Palmer wrote: »

You have no idea what I currently look like so wind you neck back there.Never said I had a wardrobe divided by decades. The fact you are ignorant about styles doesn't mean anything.

For somebody not bothered what people wear you are going out of your way to assume things about me.

If you really are clueless then you couldn't spot the difference between the Fonz and Ron Burgundy.

I know fonzy wore a leather jacket, but that's about it, i couldn't tell you what Ron wore.

I'm not assuming anything. You said sometimes you dress in 20's style, sometimes 50's, sometimes 70's....those are decades are they not? I also couldn't care less if you're wearing a top hat and tails, a baby grow or a nice flowery frock - why would i? Why difference does it make?

What have you got against the 30's, 40's and 60's by the way, you know what you are Ray? You're a fúcking decadist. Shame on you:mad:

Effects · 20-11-2019 2:42pm

sbsquarepants wrote: »

I know fonzy wore a leather jacket, but that's about it, i couldn't tell you what Ron wore.

The clue is in his name, Ron Burgundy.

sbsquarepants · 20-11-2019 2:58pm

Effects wrote: »

The clue is in his name, Ron Burgundy.

I wasn't sure cos i messed up previously with jack black:)

Ray Palmer · 20-11-2019 4:15pm

Cee-Jay-Cee wrote: »

I think from reading the above, you are the actual problem. You appear to court trouble, I know and see plenty of people who dress differently to others and have never seen them getting abuse or into fights, yet you appear to experience it regularly. The common denominator here is you. I think you need to get on with your life and quit looking around to see who is looking at you as it very obviously bothers you or at least learn to walk away or just ignore idiots who feel the need to make stupid comments.

Let's apply your logic to others.

You see a women walking down the street and she isn't being sexual harassed. So women aren't sexually harassed according to you.

You are assuming I look for trouble but I never once said I go looking at people's reactions. I said they comment and approach me. You are effectively victim blaming. Are you one of these people who asks what a women was wearing when sexually assaulted?

Give you an example
Scum "Stupid beard"
Me "Mostly your ma's pubes"
Scrum " what did you just say"
Me "anything I damn well please"
Scum "I'll f**k you up"
Me " Go for it "
Scum walks away after staring at me to see if it is worth it. Other occasions people threw punches for what I said.

Yes I gave an aggressive response to an insult but I didn't start anything. Do you think I should just accept it? If somebody insults you do you say nothing?

20-11-2019 4:26pm

Ray Palmer wrote: »

Yes I gave an aggressive response to an insult but I didn't start anything. Do you think I should just accept it? If somebody insults you do you say nothing?

As far as I'm concerned, if I see someone dressed very differently, or ostentatiously, my first reaction is not to give them the attention they crave.

The only reason it's called ostentatious or different is precisely because it gets attention - and the people who dress in this way know full well, in advance, of this fact, yet they continue to go down that path.

I can only conclude, then, that they a) know about the attention and relish it or b) they lack self-awareness that they are attention seekers.

That's the fundamental reality.

So whilst I personally don't care what you wear, what you are wearing says a lot about your personality - and the attention needs it has. It's those attention needs that would have me stay well, well away from you.

In other words, the ostentatious look/garb is a symptom of an underlying issue I would have with you. There's probably an element of narcissism in there too.

Boom_Bap · 20-11-2019 4:30pm

Ray Palmer wrote: »

Let's apply your logic to others.

You see a women walking down the street and she isn't being sexual harassed. So women aren't sexually harassed according to you.

You are assuming I look for trouble but I never once said I go looking at people's reactions. I said they comment and approach me. You are effectively victim blaming. Are you one of these people who asks what a women was wearing when sexually assaulted?

Give you an example
Scum "Stupid beard"
Me "Mostly your ma's pubes"
Scrum " what did you just say"
Me "anything I damn well please"
Scum "I'll f**k you up"
Me " Go for it "
Scum walks away after staring at me to see if it is worth it. Other occasions people threw punches for what I said.

Yes I gave an aggressive response to an insult but I didn't start anything. Do you think I should just accept it? If somebody insults you do you say nothing?

Pretty much yeah, why resort to their level or even lower? Walk away from the encounter. Easy.

freshpopcorn · 20-11-2019 4:40pm

I've seen people into various styles and fashions over the years and the main people who attract negative attention generally draw it on themselves by opening their mouth!

Ray Palmer · 20-11-2019 5:02pm

[Deleted User] wrote: »

As far as I'm concerned, if I see someone dressed very differently, or ostentatiously, my first reaction is not to give them the attention they crave.

This pathetic BS again and again. Why you think people dress for others attention is how you feel about it. It is not how I feel about it and you are projecting.

It would be the same as me saying the reason you wear your clothes is because you are cowardly and want to blend into the crowd as much as possible. You are afraid to be an individual in any shape or form and go along with the crowd. Is that how you feel about what you wear?

I don't feel the way you are saying I do.

Effects · 20-11-2019 5:09pm

Ray Palmer wrote: »

You are assuming I look for trouble but I never once said I go looking at people's reactions.
Give you an example
Scum "Stupid beard"

What does the beard look like? Must be pretty wacky for people to comment on it.
Got any pictures of your styles so we can get a better understanding of what you're on about?

20-11-2019 5:10pm

Ray Palmer wrote: »

This pathetic BS again and again. Why you think people dress for others attention is how you feel about it. It is not how I feel about it and you are projecting.

It would be the same as me saying the reason you wear your clothes is because you are cowardly and want to blend into the crowd as much as possible. You are afraid to be an individual in any shape or form and go along with the crowd. Is that how you feel about what you wear?

I don't feel the way you are saying I do.

Then you subscribe to the (b) option in my above post, namely, in denial about the total lack of self-awareness of your attention needs.

Let me put it another way: if there were no people in the world, you wouldn't be doing the same things, because there would be nobody around for you to show your personality/identity/fashion etc. Same goes for fashion generally; items are purchased from the perspective of how it will make the owner look in the eyes of other people.

Not all, of course, but a lot of fashion is based on this - otherwise, everyone would be wearing white, bland t-shirts and jeans. Same with the fools who pay 400 pounds for a handbag just because it has a name on it; it's purchased for how it's perceived by other people in the mind of the person purchasing it. If there were no people around, they'd choose a very different bag.

It's almost all attention-based and centres around narcissism.

You take it to the obvious extreme, you just can't see it.

sbsquarepants · 20-11-2019 5:14pm

Ray Palmer wrote: »

Give you an example
Scum "Stupid beard"
Me "Mostly your ma's pubes"

I love it Ray!

I haven't shaved in about a week - i might leave it another couple just so i can use this line on someone

Wibbs · 20-11-2019 5:18pm

Ray Palmer wrote: »

Let's apply your logic to others.

You see a women walking down the street and she isn't being sexual harassed. So women aren't sexually harassed according to you.

Wut??

You are assuming I look for trouble but I never once said I go looking at people's reactions. I said they comment and approach me. You are effectively victim blaming. Are you one of these people who asks what a women was wearing when sexually assaulted?

"Victim blaming". Oh FFS. If a woman walked down O'Connell street in Dublin in a bikini and high heels and then was surprised that people were staring at her, or some men were gazing at her tits, or even catcalling after her, I'd assume she's a moron for not realising why some might react that way and/or getting a wide on for the attention she was getting.

Give you an example
Scum "Stupid beard"
Me "Mostly your ma's pubes"
Scrum " what did you just say"
Me "anything I damn well please"
Scum "I'll f**k you up"
Me " Go for it "
Scum walks away after staring at me to see if it is worth it. Other occasions people threw punches for what I said.

More and more you're telegraphing that you like the attention and seek it out and seek out the "scum" to react to you, so you can get some buzz out of the interaction and prove what your worldview already believes. The fact you then purposely escalate the potential for violence says it all.

Yes I gave an aggressive response to an insult but I didn't start anything. Do you think I should just accept it? If somebody insults you do you say nothing?

My ego isn't so easily bruised. I have found that the insults that really land with people are those that hit a nerve or they already believe to be true to some degree, or get some masochistic kick out of it, or - and often seems to be more the case - are looking for any insult as their ego is so damned fragile, or some or all of the above. Mostly ego though.

Deebles McBeebles · 20-11-2019 5:21pm

Scum "Stupid beard"
Me "I will have frantic sex with your face"
Scrum " what did you just say"
Me "I will have frantic sex with your face"
Scum "I'll f**k you up"
Me "Thats sounds like a truly lovely way to spend an evening, shall we have a meal first?"

Boom_Bap · 20-11-2019 5:23pm

Deebles McBeebles wrote: »

Scum "Stupid beard"
Me "I will have frantic sex with your face"
Scrum " what did you just say"
Me "I will have frantic sex with your face"
Scum "I'll f**k you up"
Me "Thats sounds like a truly lovely way to spend an evening, shall we have a meal first?"

BOOM: *sets up tripod for face banging scene*

sbsquarepants · 20-11-2019 5:24pm

Deebles McBeebles wrote: »

Scum "I'll f**k you up"

Up what?

A laneway, a lampost, the arse, what, WHAAAAT????? Come on scum don't leave me hanging?

Ray Palmer · 20-11-2019 5:25pm

Boom_Bap wrote: »

Pretty much yeah, why resort to their level or even lower? Walk away from the encounter. Easy.

If you are with your mother, daughter,sister or girlfriend and they said something to them you would say and do nothing?

Yeah I believe that.

Boom_Bap · 20-11-2019 5:30pm

Ray Palmer wrote: »

If you are with your mother, daughter,sister or girlfriend and they said something to them you would say and do nothing?

Yeah I believe that.

Pretty much yeah.

Ray Palmer · 20-11-2019 5:37pm

[Deleted User] wrote: »

Then you subscribe to the (b) option in my above post, namely, in denial about the total lack of self-awareness of your attention needs.

You can put your amateur psychology skills to rest. You don't have a clue what you are talking about. This is an issue in Ireland because I don't get hassle of any kind in other countries. The UK is similar to here but it is actually have laws in place to an extent that cover this.

Bobblehats · 20-11-2019 5:43pm

Ray Palmer wrote: »

From just simple comments to violent attacks. What difference does it make to people that they do this? If I dye my hair and have a handle bar moustache what does it do to you?

You’re still wanted by the fashion police for that peacoat

The%20Viper%20Foley%20stand-off.jpg

Ray Palmer · 20-11-2019 5:51pm

Boom_Bap wrote: »

Pretty much yeah.

I said I believe you.

Those with you will of course be proud of you. Your crying daughter wouldn't bother you. Your angry girlfriend will say nothing herself or to you. Your mother will commend you for being a great son.

One eyed Jack · 20-11-2019 5:51pm

Ray Palmer wrote: »

Over the years I have worn some questionable fashion and styled my hair or beard as suited. Never been particularly bothered by others views and have a general live and let live view.
Of course others don't have the same view and think they should let people know what their view is. From just simple comments to violent attacks. What difference does it make to people that they do this? If I dye my hair and have a handle bar moustache what does it do to you?

It basically has the dual effect of leaving you in no doubt as to the fact that I think you look ridiculous, and would want to discourage you from thinking I liked the cut of your jib. Men wearing skinny suits are a good example of people who incur my disgust.

Proximity is also a relevant factor of course - if you’re a complete stranger it doesn’t bother me enough to be motivated to express my disapproval, if you’re someone I have to work with... I won’t hold back :pac:

Antares35 · 20-11-2019 5:53pm

Ray Palmer wrote: »

You can put your amateur psychology skills to rest. You don't have a clue what you are talking about. This is an issue in Ireland because I don't get hassle of any kind in other countries. The UK is similar to here but it is actually have laws in place to an extent that cover this.

I'm rather thankful to be living in a country that doesn't waste police resources protecting the soft ego of men who sport moustaches and imagine that everyone is being mean to them because of it. We have far greater problems!

Bobblehats · 20-11-2019 6:00pm

We are down to two suspects

lorraine-tv-show-london-uk-shutterstock-editorial-10163656al.jpg

I believe I can narrow it down further.

Boom_Bap · 20-11-2019 6:01pm

Ray Palmer wrote: »

I said I believe you.

Those with you will of course be proud of you. Your crying daughter wouldn't bother you. Your angry girlfriend will say nothing herself or to you. Your mother will commend you for being a great son.

Well see, the people around me know that it's best to walk away from confrontation rather than aggravate a situation which could potentially lead to violence.
My daughter would trust my judgement, my girlfriend would trust my judgement, my mother would trust my judgement. That's just the type of support system that is built around me.

ArrBee · 20-11-2019 6:14pm

Boom_Bap wrote: »

Well see, the people around me know that it's best to walk away from confrontation rather than aggravate a situation which could potentially lead to violence.
My daughter would trust my judgement, my girlfriend would trust my judgement, my mother would trust my judgement. That's just the type of support system that is built around me.

What about your wife tho?

Effects · 20-11-2019 6:23pm

I think Ray Palmer is just a complete troll. He's probably just the bog standard Irish man he pretends he's railing against.

Boom_Bap · 20-11-2019 6:23pm

ArrBee wrote: »

What about your wife tho?

Never have your wife and girlfriend together when walking through areas of pepped up scum looking for confrontation.

Boom_Bap · 20-11-2019 6:28pm

Boom_Bap wrote: »

Well see, the people around me know that it's best to walk away from confrontation rather than aggravate a situation which could potentially lead to violence.
My daughter would trust my judgement, my girlfriend would trust my judgement, my mother would trust my judgement. That's just the type of support system that is built around me.

I'd also add to this Ray, if by chance I was walking down the street with you and someone started gesturing towards you or being vocal or uncivil towards you about something, I would also tell you to ignore it and keep moving as it's not worth it.

Bobblehats · 20-11-2019 6:35pm

[QUOTE=R
ay Palmer;111817428]Those with you will of course be proud of you[/QUOTE]

Sir answer the question

Ray Palmer wrote: »

Your angry girlfriend will say nothing herself or to you..

Sir, please sir

Ray Palmer wrote: »

Your mother will commend you for being a great son.

My mother is irrelevant to this case. Sir are you, or are you not the owner of one canister of professor smith’s vintage goose-grease moustache pomade discovered at your residence.

20-11-2019 7:10pm

Ray Palmer wrote: »

You can put your amateur psychology skills to rest. You don't have a clue what you are talking about. This is an issue in Ireland because I don't get hassle of any kind in other countries. The UK is similar to here but it is actually have laws in place to an extent that cover this.

It's not amateur psychology, it's called common sense.

Make yourself stand out, and expect to attract attention, including from less savoury people.

It comes with the territory, you can't start blaming other people.

The choice you make to wear those clothes, or moustache or whatever, is a purely self-indulgent, attention-based one. You're just not happy that you're not getting the type of attention you probably want to get.

beejee · 20-11-2019 7:16pm

Pretty much what's said above, you want to be different, expect differences that won't always be positive.

Hardly mind shattering.

beejee · 20-11-2019 7:18pm

Or consider the valid flipside of the question, "why do you want to have a handlebar moustache? What difference does it make to you? Just go with the flow"

What difference does it make to you?

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