Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names] - Part II

Birneybau · 10-03-2019 1:45am

yerwanthere123 wrote: »

Found this from a few weeks back

Happt Valentines to me. Or as its know this year Thursday. Never had a valentine ever so just me on a day ive never liked ðŸ€— #single #selfie #aloneforever✌ #thursday #notvalentines #lonely #fugly

Any takers?

There's nothing sexier than self loathing saddos

Birneybau · 10-03-2019 1:46am

corner of hells wrote: »

"Practically bran new ,
Cintidion is mint were sad on 5 times since new".

English is his first language too.

"Practically brand new. Condition is mint... incomprehensible garbage'

corner of hells · 10-03-2019 1:48am

Birneybau wrote: »

"Practically brand new. Condition is mint... incomprehensible garbage'

Excellent attempt.

Was sat on five times since new.

It's an add for a suite of furniture.

secondrowgal · 10-03-2019 11:55am

TheChevron wrote: »

Does anyone else not think this is actually incredibly sad? The poor woman is actually desperate for €20

Dammo · 10-03-2019 3:15pm

secondrowgal wrote: »

Does anyone else not think this is actually incredibly sad? The poor woman is actually desperate for €20

Very sad but she could offer to do a bit of housework or something which would probably get her more than €20?

emeldc · 10-03-2019 4:58pm

Dammo wrote: »

Very sad but she could offer to do a bit of housework or something which would probably get her more than €20?

Or she could be hoping to get 20 pm’s @ €20 each.

coolhull · 10-03-2019 11:29pm

"First commiumion dress for salad including tutu,boots,handbag,umbrella,vale to all to match pm me"

Hotblack Desiato · 11-03-2019 2:12am

Dammo wrote: »

Very sad but she could offer to do a bit of housework or something which would probably get her more than €20?

A decent blowie has to be worth at least €20

heretothere · 11-03-2019 3:59pm

corner of hells wrote: »

"were sad on 5 times since new".

What does this part mean?

kunst nugget · 11-03-2019 4:02pm

heretothere wrote: »

What does this part mean?

Were sat on 5 times since new - it's a suite of furniture.

razorblunt · 11-03-2019 4:03pm

heretothere wrote: »

What does this part mean?

It's been sat on 5 times since it was bought new?

somesoldiers · 11-03-2019 7:08pm

kunst nugget wrote: »

Were sat on 5 times since new - it's a suite of furniture.

The statistic itself is meaningless without knowing how long each sit was and how big the ar$es were

Dammo · 11-03-2019 7:58pm

Hotblack Desiato wrote: »

A decent blowie has to be worth at least €20

That took longer than expected.

anewme · 11-03-2019 10:16pm

Attention all girls if you get this do not click the link it’s a sex trafficking site that puts a tracker on your phone girls are going missing this is not a joke

Accompanied by a photo of an iPhone with a message on it. This was posted by a 63 year old woman

Spleerbun · 11-03-2019 11:07pm

Dammo wrote: »

That took longer than expected.

That's actually what she said after the blowie

Mena Mitty · 11-03-2019 11:34pm

'U dont no what ur talking about, keep it up n i will eneyelate u wid facts'

The above popped up in relation to International women's day.

sligojoek · 11-03-2019 11:36pm

Was it by a man or a woman?

corner of hells · 11-03-2019 11:40pm

Mena Mitty wrote: »

'U dont no what ur talking about, keep it up n i will eneyelate u wid facts'

The above popped up in relation to International women's day.

Annihilate you with facts ?

fineso.mom · 12-03-2019 12:16am

corner of hells wrote: »

Annihilate you with facts ?

That's when you beat someone to death with an encyclopedia.

knucklehead6 · 12-03-2019 9:18am

Just wondering if there is any fittings classes for kids and adults at the same time in (two town names, both spelt incorrectly)

RhubarbCrumble · 12-03-2019 12:30pm

Friend's daughter (19 and complete know-all) got a little kitten and posted a picture on Facebook of the kitten's 'drinking fountain' (mine gets her water in a bowl, I'm obviously a negligent cat Mammy, but what can you do!), a friend of hers commented with "Aww, she's so cute. Give her a little drop of milk"

Know all replied with "Oh my God, are you like totally stupid or something? Cats don't drink milk. Do you not realise that they're lack toast intolerent?"

Ipso · 12-03-2019 12:31pm

The poor cat is probably on a gluten free diet.

RhubarbCrumble · 12-03-2019 12:36pm

Ipso wrote: »

The poor cat is probably on a gluten free diet.

Probably a vegan, and for what it's worth, my cat drinks milk (not a lot, but she likes a drop for her breakfast) and so do most of the cats I know. I asked the vet about it and he said a small drop is fine. He told me that if it wasn't agreeing with them, they'd soon let you know in the litter tray!

robarmstrong · 12-03-2019 4:05pm

Wen Ur all chilled out hair up no make up on watching a bit off Jeremy and Ur sister knocks in and says cum on wer going 2 start cyclen 2 tone up never mind the fact i haven't cycled a bike in yrs Megan's great idea 2 robe 1 off Carl's bikes 4 me so up i go on2 the canal tinking im doing great wit me waist trainer anall on and i see a little hill so i pressed d breaks not known dey wer d front breaks so d front wheel locks and over the handle bars Audrey goes head 1st nearly in2 the canal literally had 2 scrap meself back up while she's in a heap laughing and im like a gerryatric on the ground &#55357;&#56904; and wen she's heading home she says see you in the morning same time &#55357;&#56834;&#55357;&#56834; ye Megan just let me get a plaster 4 me grazed knee

B_ecke_r · 12-03-2019 4:07pm

selfies with relatives on their death beds

Peter T · 12-03-2019 4:12pm

B_ecke_r wrote: »

selfies with relatives on their death beds

Photographic evidence for a cut of the inheritance

Bigbagofcans · 12-03-2019 5:05pm

Peter T wrote: »

Photographic evidence for a cut of the inheritance

Cut off d inheritents

DEFTLEFTHAND · 12-03-2019 5:20pm

RhubarbCrumble wrote: »

Friend's daughter (19 and complete know-all) got a little kitten and posted a picture on Facebook of the kitten's 'drinking fountain' (mine gets her water in a bowl, I'm obviously a negligent cat Mammy, but what can you do!), a friend of hers commented with "Aww, she's so cute. Give her a little drop of milk"

Know all replied with "Oh my God, are you like totally stupid or something? Cats don't drink milk. Do you not realise that they're lack toast intolerent?"

God help that cat.

Grayson · 12-03-2019 5:40pm

fineso.mom wrote: »

That's when you beat someone to death with an encyclopedia.

what else are they going to do with a big book full of knowledge.

Mena Mitty · 12-03-2019 10:25pm

sligojoek wrote: »

Was it by a man or a woman?

A woman to a man.

Foweva Awone · 19-03-2019 5:57pm

"Have 308 friends on this the cheek of the nosebags && screenshot bandits yer getting #REMOVED #Smellbags hate ppl who think there better than everyone else ... tramps working in clothes shops #hawkeyes **** off my page bubyeeeee

god bless"

The funny thing is she's looking down at people working in clothes shops, this girl has never worked a day in her life!

Schwanz · 19-03-2019 9:06pm

"I'll just get me tramps outfit on and head inte town to pick up a younger modell ya cnut ya, the state of yer knew bird !!!!!!!"

rawn · 20-03-2019 2:28pm

"Noway, Sittin In Ciaras Gaf Smokin Ouh The Window And Two Pidgion's Start Pure Goin At I
It, **** A Pidgion With A Condom :L"

coolhull · 20-03-2019 4:28pm

rawn wrote: »

"Noway, Sittin In Ciaras Gaf Smokin Ouh The Window And Two Pidgion's Start Pure Goin At I
It, **** A Pidgion With A Condom :L"

Dem bluddy pidgions eh? Don't dey know dere's a time an a plaice 4 dat kind of ting?
Dats dis gustin so ti's!

valoren · 20-03-2019 4:50pm

Community group with random photos posted. Someone posts a behind the scenes picture from Back to the Future 3.

First comment: Terrible movie dough.

Bigbagofcans · 20-03-2019 4:54pm

rawn wrote: »

"Noway, Sittin In Ciaras Gaf Smokin Ouh The Window And Two Pidgion's Start Pure Goin At I
It, **** A Pidgion With A Condom :L"

Why do these types Capitalise Every Word

Deebles McBeebles · 20-03-2019 4:58pm

Bigbagofcans wrote: »

Why do these types Capitalise Every Word

Cuz Its Impartant Hun XOXO
#Blessed

Bigbagofcans · 20-03-2019 5:06pm

Deebles McBeebles wrote: »

Cuz Its Impartant Hun XOXO
#Blessed

Ah thx hun ur an angle xx

Big Nasty · 23-03-2019 8:25am

'2016 passat engine code CRLB any one tell me t-belt replacement intterville please'

Intterville :pac:

von Smallhausen · 25-03-2019 3:01pm

So after our landlord getting someone out to do work to the house to stop mice getting in, we have been terrorised by one for the past 2 days. Constantly on edge. Anyway tonight me and [NAME] walked into the livingroom and [NAME] started going buck daft saying the mouse was up his trouser leg, pure freakin out. Im screamin, hes screamin, kids are crying. All we can see is the wee bulge of the mouse at the bottom his leg.. hes holding his leg so it cant crawl up any further.. he wants me to open the bottom of his trouser cuff to get it out and im like 'nah mate, im out'. I then get the great idea to get him outside so we can let it run free. So he hobbles outside and hes trying to get me to open the cuff, im crying saying 'nooo i cant, i really cant'.. then it dawns on us that theres building work going on next door.. i know, ill ask a builder... [NAME] is standing there like 'hurrry upppp&#55357;&#56877;&#55357;&#56877;'.. so i sprint in next door.. builder man opens the door and i start panic shouting in his face to open my boyfriend trouser leg to get the mouse out.. hes in stitches.. walks into our garden to help.. i flee the scene cos yano, phobia of mice n all... im standing in the hall listening, heart going a dinger. [NAME] screams and the builder starts laughing.. then [NAME] laughs. It was his car key.. hes got a hole in his pocket. Im fu*king traumatised.. kids have ptsd.. [NAME] needs new tracksuit bottoms.. and i need a fu*king drink! Jesus christ &#55357;&#56834;&#55357;&#56834;

Edited to protect the innoc.....idiot

Pherekydes · 25-03-2019 3:07pm

Danny_B wrote: »

Edited to protect the innoc.....idiot

Terrorised by a mouse?

The builder should have hit your man's leg with a shovel. :pac:

von Smallhausen · 25-03-2019 3:27pm

Pherekydes wrote: »

Terrorised by a mouse?

The builder should have hit your man's leg with a shovel. :pac:

Or over the head with a hammer.

Gerianam · 25-03-2019 11:00pm

Telpis

Hector Savage · 26-03-2019 8:58am

Danny_B wrote: »

Or over the head with a hammer.

Repeatedly..

seagull · 27-03-2019 6:22pm

That would just break the hammer.

Gwen Cooper · 28-03-2019 12:24pm

So is little Madeleine McCann dead?
If Gerry and Kate killed her how did they dispose of the body in a foreign country? How come the body has never being found?
Wats your viue? Is This little angle dead or missing??

Comments:
Yes I agree with you no 1 in der rite mind wud leave small baby's on there own!!! Wat I don't understand is how in the name of God did she just vanish without trace? If the mommy and daddy did it wer did they get the time 2 dispose the body? In a place they didn't know dat well?

I wrecken some paedo dosed her up in kiddies club came back and abducted her while sleeping

I dunno bout the whole abduction thing is real. 4 starters the world's best traind dogs senced death and blood outta there 2 apartments, on Kate's cloths, on madeleines teddy, and in the booth of there rental car. Madeleines DNA was found all over a car she was never even in.

says why I'm asking. The Netflix documentary was very 1 sided leaving out a lota facts dat no1 can diney. My opinion is Gerry found her and he thought omg wat we gonna do so he panicked 4 a bit dem he thought we have dosed them all with sleeping meds he's a doc so obvo he new dat was gonna come up in the otopsy, he also new he would lose his job and so would Kate if madeleine had been found. I don't think they deliberately killed her I think it was an accident. Either way it's there fault. Those kids should never been left on there own. Now I no about the fella hanging around the complex but this teroy makes more sense, coz all the evidence the DNA the dogs the blood splatters and the way Kate and Gerry behaved.

Deebles McBeebles · 28-03-2019 12:57pm

Great stuff, "no1 can diney". Think I may have seen that on a very popular persons FB....

Bless the angles.

Hector Savage · 28-03-2019 1:51pm

Jaysus Christ!

diney...
teroy
angles

Gwen Cooper · 28-03-2019 1:57pm

Hector Savage wrote: »

Jaysus Christ!

diney...
teroy
angles

My personal favourite is "I wrecken".

kildare lad · 28-03-2019 5:08pm

A fella I know , posted a pic of himself making his confirmation from years ago , his cousin wrote this in the comments

Awwww u lukd so ina cent bk den