Ipso wrote: » The poor cat is probably on a gluten free diet.
Wen Ur all chilled out hair up no make up on watching a bit off Jeremy and Ur sister knocks in and says cum on wer going 2 start cyclen 2 tone up never mind the fact i haven't cycled a bike in yrs Megan's great idea 2 robe 1 off Carl's bikes 4 me so up i go on2 the canal tinking im doing great wit me waist trainer anall on and i see a little hill so i pressed d breaks not known dey wer d front breaks so d front wheel locks and over the handle bars Audrey goes head 1st nearly in2 the canal literally had 2 scrap meself back up while she's in a heap laughing and im like a gerryatric on the ground �� and wen she's heading home she says see you in the morning same time ���� ye Megan just let me get a plaster 4 me grazed knee
B_ecke_r wrote: » selfies with relatives on their death beds
Peter T wrote: » Photographic evidence for a cut of the inheritance
RhubarbCrumble wrote: » Friend's daughter (19 and complete know-all) got a little kitten and posted a picture on Facebook of the kitten's 'drinking fountain' (mine gets her water in a bowl, I'm obviously a negligent cat Mammy, but what can you do!), a friend of hers commented with "Aww, she's so cute. Give her a little drop of milk" Know all replied with "Oh my God, are you like totally stupid or something? Cats don't drink milk. Do you not realise that they're lack toast intolerent?"
fineso.mom wrote: » That's when you beat someone to death with an encyclopedia.
sligojoek wrote: » Was it by a man or a woman?
rawn wrote: » "Noway, Sittin In Ciaras Gaf Smokin Ouh The Window And Two Pidgion's Start Pure Goin At I It, **** A Pidgion With A Condom :L"
Bigbagofcans wrote: » Why do these types Capitalise Every Word
Deebles McBeebles wrote: » Cuz Its Impartant Hun XOXO #Blessed
So after our landlord getting someone out to do work to the house to stop mice getting in, we have been terrorised by one for the past 2 days. Constantly on edge. Anyway tonight me and [NAME] walked into the livingroom and [NAME] started going buck daft saying the mouse was up his trouser leg, pure freakin out. Im screamin, hes screamin, kids are crying. All we can see is the wee bulge of the mouse at the bottom his leg.. hes holding his leg so it cant crawl up any further.. he wants me to open the bottom of his trouser cuff to get it out and im like 'nah mate, im out'. I then get the great idea to get him outside so we can let it run free. So he hobbles outside and hes trying to get me to open the cuff, im crying saying 'nooo i cant, i really cant'.. then it dawns on us that theres building work going on next door.. i know, ill ask a builder... [NAME] is standing there like 'hurrry upppp����'.. so i sprint in next door.. builder man opens the door and i start panic shouting in his face to open my boyfriend trouser leg to get the mouse out.. hes in stitches.. walks into our garden to help.. i flee the scene cos yano, phobia of mice n all... im standing in the hall listening, heart going a dinger. [NAME] screams and the builder starts laughing.. then [NAME] laughs. It was his car key.. hes got a hole in his pocket. Im fu*king traumatised.. kids have ptsd.. [NAME] needs new tracksuit bottoms.. and i need a fu*king drink! Jesus christ ����
Danny_B wrote: » Edited to protect the innoc.....idiot
Pherekydes wrote: » Terrorised by a mouse? The builder should have hit your man's leg with a shovel. :pac:
Danny_B wrote: » Or over the head with a hammer.
Hector Savage wrote: » Jaysus Christ! diney... teroy angles
