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Dumb/Great Facebook Status {merge} [No Names] - Part II

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Comments

  • #602
    brandnewaward
    Registered Users Posts: 438 ✭✭brandnewaward


    skirtgirl wrote: »
    "ive to get of tis and do sum work now tha ive the house to myself kiddies in school and angel just gone to wounder land nurshy. bless her shes startin junior infants in septeber . shes brains like like her dad. which is gooid. i no she,ll b brill in school. so im of peps for awhile house to clean. man to plez and ill catch up wit the weather. have a good day all. and stay away from drama. its beneath me now thats wha i want so for those who still live a breed for it keep it well away from me. unless it includes ky fanily getin hurt now thas a diffo story. i wish ye all the best and a good day. xxx for ny fanily and tru friends"

    glad the child is off getting educated , the muvva obv neva went 2 skool......**** , i'm reading this thread too long, I'm starting to talk like one of them now


  • #603
    Zymurgist
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 541 ✭✭✭Zymurgist


    Such crck hear wit the mother and maggie (smile emoticon) tanks for a great night (grin emoticon) 2mad c-nts a night ill never 4get tanks mum love ya loads (heart emoticon) (kiss emoticon) Xxxxxxxxxxx


  • #604
    brandnewaward
    Registered Users Posts: 438 ✭✭brandnewaward


    so sad to hear about christopher lee....at least he is with his brother bruce in heaven now


  • #605
    KKkitty
    Registered Users Posts: 7,537 ✭✭✭KKkitty


    brandnewaward wrote: »
    so sad to hear about christopher lee....at least he is with his brother bruce in heaven now

    Please tell me that's a wind up. Telpis if it is.


  • #606
    brandnewaward
    Registered Users Posts: 438 ✭✭brandnewaward


    KKkitty wrote: »
    Please tell me that's a wind up. Telpis if it is.

    saw it last night and first thing i thought of was this thread


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  • #607
    sligojoek
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,420 ✭✭✭✭sligojoek


    Samsgirl wrote: »
    loven da new air max i got meself ,soo onwords a upwords frm now on ,nite in wit d family an me sis went n bought loads of ice creams an jam tarts d whole lot, ah shur y not ,dnt leve me breatless lol dnt leve me bald haha no mean sis ,haters guna hate stalkers guna stalk da page so lets giv em reason haha dnt hate us cuz u aint us ,fool of a fein

    TL;DR

    Got new shoes.
    Girls night in.
    F**k the begrudgers


  • #608
    Detached Retina
    Registered Users Posts: 140 ✭✭Detached Retina


    brandnewaward wrote: »
    so sad to hear about christopher lee....at least he is with his brother bruce in heaven now

    Reminds me of a status update on my feed when James Gandolfini died back in 2013

    "Goodnight Gandalf the grey, how I'll miss your wizardy ways"

    I hoped at the time my friend in question was being ironic in some way:(


  • #609
    Niemoj
    Banned (with Prison Access) Posts: 1,104 ✭✭✭Niemoj


    "was ih d dole offce 2day nd hu did i c onli (Person's name) nd she wudnt evn say hello 2me r notn,her ownn cuzint nd nt a wrd ,sum ppl tnk ther shi dnt stnk dats 4shore .abso wrek ur head so ih wud"

    That gem was posted by a local young mother obviously upset at the Department Of Social Welfare or something...


  • #610
    lizzyman
    Closed Accounts Posts: 704 ✭✭✭lizzyman


    brandnewaward wrote: »
    so sad to hear about christopher lee....at least he is with his brother bruce in heaven now

    This thread should come with a warning about installing a keyboard cover before viewing. Second time now that I've sprayed my laptop with tea.


  • #611
    De Bhál
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,939 ✭✭✭De Bhál


    brandnewaward wrote: »
    so sad to hear about christopher lee....at least he is with his brother bruce in heaven now

    that's a joke


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  • #612
    kunst nugget
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,375 ✭✭✭✭kunst nugget


    De Bhál wrote: »
    that's a joke

    Never…


  • #613
    De Bhál
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,939 ✭✭✭De Bhál


    kunst nugget wrote: »
    Never…


    ah, I see the title of this thread is also Great Facebook statuses. I'm just so used to reading the dumb ones I forgot people actually put some funny stuff up also.


  • #614
    griffin100
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,992 ✭✭✭griffin100


    skirtgirl wrote: »
    "ive to get of tis and do sum work now tha ive the house to myself kiddies in school and angel just gone to wounder land nurshy. bless her shes startin junior infants in septeber . shes brains like like her dad. which is gooid. i no she,ll b brill in school. so im of peps for awhile house to clean. man to plez and ill catch up wit the weather. have a good day all. and stay away from drama. its beneath me now thats wha i want so for those who still live a breed for it keep it well away from me. unless it includes ky fanily getin hurt now thas a diffo story. i wish ye all the best and a good day. xxx for ny fanily and tru friends"

    Am I reading this correctly? So she has a free house as the kids are in school, and her priorities are to please her man and get some cleaning done? Think I'll be showing this post to my Mrs.


  • #615
    kunst nugget
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,375 ✭✭✭✭kunst nugget


    De Bhál wrote: »
    ah, I see the title of this thread is also Great Facebook statuses. I'm just so used to reading the dumb ones I forgot people actually put some funny stuff up also.

    Tbf, they've been thin on the ground...


  • #616
    Hoop66
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,446 ✭✭✭Hoop66


    brandnewaward wrote: »
    so sad to hear about christopher lee....at least he is with his brother bruce in heaven now

    Rusty must be devastated


  • #617
    XxMCRxBabyxX
    Moderators, Education Moderators Posts: 7,439 Mod ✭✭✭✭XxMCRxBabyxX


    When u meet an old work colleague that stood on top of u to get ahead n u treat them with respect - feeling proud

    Some nice subtle bitching there. Isn't she so amazing.


  • #618
    Chris_Bradley
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,818 ✭✭✭Chris_Bradley


    "Ebola has reached Dallas I'm packing my bags and moving to Texas! I can't stay in this diseased country any longer!"

    :rolleyes::rolleyes::rolleyes:


  • #619
    Axel Lamp
    Closed Accounts Posts: 748 ✭✭✭Axel Lamp


    RIP XXX XXX, u wil b mised by al of us. U nevr di no harm to noone, all u did was luk out fir ure famile

    Ironically the use of the double negative is quite accurate for this recently deceased fine upstanding member of Irish society.


  • #620
    sligojoek
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,420 ✭✭✭✭sligojoek


    Axel Lamp wrote: »
    Ironically the use of the double negative is quite accurate for this recently deceased fine upstanding member of Irish society.
    At least Noone came out of the thing unscathed


  • #621
    sligojoek
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,420 ✭✭✭✭sligojoek


    Or din he?


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  • #622
    skirtgirl
    Closed Accounts Posts: 244 ✭✭skirtgirl


    "See the one with the heavy hole blocked me over putting up pics off ur beautiful daughter sham jealousy is awful thing childlessness bitch.
    .."
    I think the insult she used to describe her behind is the worst one I have ever heard.


  • #623
    marcbrophy
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,511 ✭✭✭marcbrophy


    Heavy hole is a brilliant insult and a classic too. :pac:

    Haven't heard it in years though!


  • #624
    Tetra
    Registered Users Posts: 301 ✭✭Tetra


    "I need to get laid... Any takers? Lol (and no, I don't care who sees this. I'm a grown ass single adult.)"

    Friend 1: "You might want to say laid by a women".
    OP: "Meh. All the same with the lights off".
    Friend 2: "One word, tinder".
    OP: "No one ever swipes right on me".
    OP: "Ever".
    Friend 3: "Try some new pics with you dressed up. Your a good looking guy buddy".


  • #625
    MonkstownHoop
    Registered Users Posts: 3,196 ✭✭✭MonkstownHoop


    Tetra wrote: »
    "I need to get laid... Any takers? Lol (and no, I don't care who sees this. I'm a grown ass single adult.)"

    Friend 1: "You might want to say laid by a women".
    OP: "Meh. All the same with the lights off".
    Friend 2: "One word, tinder".
    OP: "No one ever swipes right on me".
    OP: "Ever".
    Friend 3: "Try some new pics with you dressed up. Your a good looking guy buddy".

    He should dress up as a pirate


  • #626
    Potential Underachiever
    Registered Users Posts: 4,989 ✭✭✭Potential Underachiever


    A frape surely? I have thought about putting up a status like that before or else sending PM's to lots of women and then claim I was fraped if no offers were forthcoming!


  • #627
    the_monkey
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,556 ✭✭✭the_monkey


    Originally Posted by skirtgirl viewpost.gif
    "ive to get of tis and do sum work now tha ive the house to myself kiddies in school and angel just gone to wounder land nurshy. bless her shes startin junior infants in septeber . shes brains like like her dad. which is gooid. i no she,ll b brill in school. so im of peps for awhile house to clean. man to plez and ill catch up wit the weather. have a good day all. and stay away from drama. its beneath me now thats wha i want so for those who still live a breed for it keep it well away from me. unless it includes ky fanily getin hurt now thas a diffo story. i wish ye all the best and a good day. xxx for ny fanily and tru friends"

    Frightening ... truly frightening


  • #628
    the_monkey
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,556 ✭✭✭the_monkey


    what the hell is telpis anyway ??


  • #629
    kitten_k
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,186 ✭✭✭kitten_k


    the_monkey wrote: »
    what the hell is telpis anyway ??

    It means God Help Us.


  • #630
    the_monkey
    Closed Accounts Posts: 6,556 ✭✭✭the_monkey


    kitten_k wrote: »
    It means God Help Us.
    :confused:


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  • #631
    Michael D Not Higgins
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,223 ✭✭✭Michael D Not Higgins


    the_monkey wrote: »
    :confused:

    God help us -> Gaw-telpus -> Telpis


  • #632
    SMJSF
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 600 ✭✭✭SMJSF


    skirtgirl wrote:
    "ive to get of tis and do sum work now tha ive the house to myself kiddies in school and angel just gone to wounder land nurshy. bless her shes startin junior infants in septeber . shes brains like like her dad. which is gooid. i no she,ll b brill in school. so im of peps for awhile house to clean. man to plez and ill catch up wit the weather. have a good day all. and stay away from drama. its beneath me now thats wha i want so for those who still live a breed for it keep it well away from me. unless it includes ky fanily getin hurt now thas a diffo story. i wish ye all the best and a good day. xxx for ny fanily and tru friends"

    Oh God my poor head hurts after 4 lines reading that!


  • #633
    lizzyman
    Closed Accounts Posts: 704 ✭✭✭lizzyman


    kitten_k wrote: »
    It means God Help Us.
    the_monkey wrote: »
    :confused:
    Michael D Not Higgins wrote: »
    God help us -> Gaw-telpus -> Telpis

    Needs to be stickied.


  • #634
    Generic Dreadhead
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,870 ✭✭✭✭Generic Dreadhead


    If you're Ice Cream is too hard to scoop out, put a metal spoon in the microwave for 30 seconds

    Darwinism


  • #635
    SuperGrover
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 991 ✭✭✭SuperGrover


    It's not necessarily dangerous to put metal into a microwave. It's the shape of the metal that can cause issues, apparently.

    A fork is bad news, but a spoon is possibly grand.


  • #636
    kunst nugget
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,375 ✭✭✭✭kunst nugget


    SuperGrover wrote: »
    It's not necessarily dangerous to put metal into a microwave. It's the shape of the metal that can cause issues, apparently.

    A fork is bad news, but a spoon is probably grand.

    Ah, now I'm going to have to stick cutlery in the microwave this evening to see if that's true…


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  • #637
    Generic Dreadhead
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 10,870 ✭✭✭✭Generic Dreadhead


    SuperGrover wrote: »
    It's not necessarily dangerous to put metal into a microwave. It's the shape of the metal that can cause issues, apparently.

    A fork is bad news, but a spoon is probably grand.

    Yeah I know this. But I still wouldn't throw up on Facebook that people should put metal spoons in Microwaves regardless cause people are idiots and will take liberties with such ideas.
    Changed 'probably' to possibly' as I don't really know what constitutes a safe shape but a clever bloke explained it to me

    I too did my research before I posted it :pac:


  • #638
    SuperGrover
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 991 ✭✭✭SuperGrover


    Please read edited version of post.

    But, yeah, go ahead.

    Heh.


  • #639
    dirkmeister
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,664 ✭✭✭dirkmeister


    Swapped my wife's tampons with party poppers. Absolutely no sense of humour that girl.


  • #640
    Samaris
    Registered Users Posts: 6,544 ✭✭✭Samaris


    SuperGrover wrote: »
    It's not necessarily dangerous to put metal into a microwave. It's the shape of the metal that can cause issues, apparently.

    A fork is bad news, but a spoon is possibly grand.

    My first reaction to that was "bull****!" but then I read up a bit on it and - huh, you're quite right. Mental apologies for mental accusation ensued :P.

    It seems it's to do with the thinness (as it will heat up very fast - a staple, a foil covering, etc) and as you said, the shape - sharp edges will cause an aureolis effect, "St Elmo's Fire" and can cause things to set alight. So a spoon might well be alright in a microwave. Two metal things touching each other, or one touching the side of the oven could cause sparks and an electrical charge that could do your microwave damage.

    I still wouldn't risk it though!


  • #641
    dirtyden
    Registered Users Posts: 1,735 ✭✭✭dirtyden


    SuperGrover wrote: »
    It's not necessarily dangerous to put metal into a microwave. It's the shape of the metal that can cause issues, apparently.

    A fork is bad news, but a spoon is possibly grand.

    You are an evil genius. How many metal spoons have fried microwaves since you posted this!


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  • #642
    Not a NSA agent
    Closed Accounts Posts: 781 ✭✭✭Not a NSA agent


    Samaris wrote: »
    My first reaction to that was "bull****!" but then I read up a bit on it and - huh, you're quite right. Mental apologies for mental accusation ensued :P.

    It seems it's to do with the thinness (as it will heat up very fast - a staple, a foil covering, etc) and as you said, the shape - sharp edges will cause an aureolis effect, "St Elmo's Fire" and can cause things to set alight. So a spoon might well be alright in a microwave. Two metal things touching each other, or one touching the side of the oven could cause sparks and an electrical charge that could do your microwave damage.

    I still wouldn't risk it though!

    I think I've seen strips of tin foil being used to shield parts of the food from cooking or something but if the 2 ends are too close it can cause problems.

    Physics happens anyway and most people would screw it up so no metal as a standard rule is safer.


  • #643
    MonkstownHoop
    Registered Users Posts: 3,196 ✭✭✭MonkstownHoop


    Not a NSA agent wrote: »
    I think I've seen strips of tin foil being used to shield parts of the food from cooking or something but if the 2 ends are too close it can cause problems.

    Physics happens anyway and most people would screw it up so no metal as a standard rule is safer.

    Shouldn't that be Not an NSA agent?


  • #644
    fussyonion
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,821 ✭✭✭fussyonion


    "so proud of my little gracie today. last nite she said she wanted the potty in her room an didnt want ta wear nappies anymore and fair play to her she used the potty! Got a nice suprise wen we went to wake her up dis morning your'e a big girl now gracie #feckoffpampers".


  • #645
    Guy:Incognito
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 38,247 ✭✭✭✭Guy:Incognito


    Does a whole facebook account count?

    Surely posting this is allowed seeing as its a public figure? (in his own mind anyway) People before profit guy.

    https://www.facebook.com/chris.hopper.37604?fref=ufi

    Many many rants about chemtrails. It's the flights to america apparently.Always the damn Americans. They **** you with the cellphones.

    Am I the only one that pictures myself saying what I type? As in , if its a long string of sentences running in to each other, you'd basically just be standing there ranting in someones face for ages. People need to calm down when they type.


  • #646
    PizzamanIRL
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 5,147 ✭✭✭PizzamanIRL


    Everyone publicly posting messages to fathers when most of them are in the same room as them as they post it. Why does everything have to be so public?


  • #647
    Owryan
    Closed Accounts Posts: 4,024 ✭✭✭Owryan


    PizzamanIRL wrote: »
    Everyone publicly posting messages to fathers when most of them are in the same room as them as they post it. Why does everything have to be so public?

    Or:

    "Happy Fathers Day Dad x x. I kno your watching us from heaven"

    Wonder if they get a decent speed up there but at least there are no "angles/angels" mentioned.

    My dad is dead, should i have posted on fb rather than visiting his grave ?? :confused::confused:Confused:confused::confused:


  • #648
    spud82
    Registered Users Posts: 654 ✭✭✭spud82


    A picture of a girl I was in college with and her friend captioned with the title "Yummy mummys don't need ugly daddys"


  • #649
    sligojoek
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 25,420 ✭✭✭✭sligojoek


    http://i.imgur.com/5jn3Zxw.png


  • #650
    Pherekydes
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 16,190 ✭✭✭✭Pherekydes


    Owryan wrote: »
    My dad is dead, should i have posted on fb rather than visiting his grave ?? :confused::confused:Confused:confused::confused:

    I'd say posting on FB has about the same effect as visiting the grave: both public displays meant for onlookers rather than the departed.

    My son posted on my FB yesterday: Gone but not forgotten. You were the best dad ever.

    What did he mean?

    Sent from my iPhone 6 from Heaven over a 8kbits/sec dial-up landline.


  • #651
    kunst nugget
    Closed Accounts Posts: 10,375 ✭✭✭✭kunst nugget


    Owryan wrote: »
    "Happy Fathers Day Dad x x. I kno your watching us from heaven"

    It's always tempting to post 'I don't know, your da was a bit of a geebag… if he's not in hell, he's at least still in limbo and he's going to be there for a good while yet.'


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