Most embarrassing moment of your life?

Bigbagofcans · 14-11-2019 3:28pm

dartboardio wrote: »

nobody seen so I didn't say anything, I just took it out quickly and dried it on my apron saying **** **** ****

next morning I was in with another lady. I was staying well away from that rice cooker with the wet plug (really shouldve said something)

If nobody saw I wouldn't call it an embarrassing story.

You were staying well away but didn't think to warn her? :rolleyes:

S.L.F · 14-11-2019 4:11pm

When I used to live in London with my then girlfriend we were getting a bus somewhere.

We'd just been to the shop and I bought a can of coke and forgot all about it, my jacket was off and I'd put it into my jacket into my right pocket.

Anyway a can dropped on the floor ad rolled all the way up to where the driver sits and I turned and said loudly enough for everyone to hear something like, "what sort of eegit would let his can drop on the fllor and not bother to pick it up".

I was convinced it could not be mine because it was on the right hand side, but to my dismay it was actually the left hand pocket.

Then thought, bugger maybe it's the one in my pocket and felt a growing invasion of a glorious red blush start from my toes and ended up going over my head and into the sky.

With heavy heart I walked the ten long miles (about ten feet) to retrieve my can and all the while looking as red as a beetroot.

branie2 · 14-11-2019 4:23pm

Every time my father cracks a terrible pun

sbsquarepants · 14-11-2019 4:33pm

Away at a stags, though i was going for a pee and walked out the wrong door bollok naked. Ended up locked out of my room just as the lift doors opened and about 10 drunken women from a hen do spilled out. There was a lot of grabbing and pinching before a very pissed off security man let me back into my room!

To make matters worse, about 2 weeks later i'm in my mates house and some random girl calls to the door (his missus was a hairdresser). In she comes, takes one look at me and says "i know you, you were running around the hotel in Killkenny with your balls out last week"

Johnny Sausage · 14-11-2019 4:36pm

Biodegradable wrote: »

Perhaps more of a clumsy moment than an embarrassing moment. Once when I worked as a cashier we used to do a safe drop at the end of the day and leave €250 in the till for the next person. The remaining money would go into a capsule thing and get sucked up a chute that would go to the office.

Often the parts for some of these capsules didn't quite fit into place with each other. One week, for whatever reason, the managers decided to change the amount that should be left in the till to €150. Therefore this meant that an extra €100 needed to go into the capsule. One night when I was closing, I forgot about this. I remembered after I'd it finished that I needed to put an extra €100 into the capsule. It was very awkward as I had to make sure that there would be a mixture of every type of coin and note left in the till. As I didn't want to start again, this meant that I needed to put a lot of coins into the capsule and it ended up being quite heavy.

I kind of knew what would happen when I put it up the chute. It came apart in the chute and I could hear all the coins rattling around inside! Then it fell back down, and before I tried to send it up again I shoved a note into it explaining about how some of the coins might have got lost in the chute due to the capsule not staying together due to the heavy weight, and that therefore the balance of the till might be lower than what it should be! As if things weren't bad enough I spelled chute as 'shoot'! When I later realised I had to cringe at what they would think when they read it in the office.

perhaps retail work isn't for you judging by all your stories

Minime2.5 · 14-11-2019 4:42pm

One Christmas about 20 years ago got picked up from the bus traveling from Waterford to Carlow to go on the piss with my college buddies . I was on the sauce the night before and wasn't well at all . I sat beside this ol lad . Within 10 minutes of getting on the bus I puked all over him . We both had to get out and clean ourselves and he was threatening to kick the **** out of me fist punching the air. Since the bus wasn't far from Waterford. The driver turned back unloaded everyone off the bus onto a new one . The dirty looks and whispers were unbearable

AllForIt · 14-11-2019 4:54pm

Speaking of London, I was working there as a waiter in a hectic brasserie type place when one day a very clean cut tank topped muscly handsome man came in the restaurant and had a glass of red by, by himself. I hadn't seen him there before, figured he was American on vacation or something like that, and my gaydar told me well, quite possibly, and we exchanged glances now and again while I was going about my work.

Over the next few days more or less the same thing happened again, by himself , glass of red, all the while I was getting more and more smitten by him. It seemed to be if I ever looked in his direction to take a surreptitious glance he seemed to be looking in mine.

Say by his 5th visit once again he sat down, ordered his usual glass of red, where later I noticed he'd finished it. Then in a act highly unusual for me, I ordered from the bar his wine (which I had to pay for) and I brought it over to him. He said 'oh I didn't order that', naturally enough...and I said oh well have it on me, all smiley. He gladly accepted it I though I'd successfully made first contact.

Literally moments later a tall woman walked in and sat opposite him and they spent the rest of their visit looking into each other eyes with hands clasped together. My face was the color of his glass of valpolicella for the rest of the day. Never seen him again after than, but the embarrassment will stay with me forever.

ongarboy · 14-11-2019 4:58pm

A few years ago we had a black tie company do to celebrate a merger of our company with another so about 300 people were attending. Those of us who didn't have a tux like me had to rent one for the night. Anyway the evening came and I was rushing to put on the suit before the do and realized the trousers were at least one or two sizes too small for me so were very tight around my waist/back side etc. There was obviously a mix up with the suit that I collected that day as it was not the one I had tried on a few evenings before. There was nothing I could do as it was too late to get them replaced. The jacket fit fine but I had to practically lie down on the bed to get the zip and buttons tied on the trousers. I felt like they were painted onto my legs and arse but I just hoped they didn't look too ridiculous.

Anyway, a few hours later at the do, dinner finished and a few drinks on me, it seemed like no one noticed my trousers looking "too tight" so I started to relax a bit. I had mentioned at my dinner table earlier that it was my birthday that day and word obviously got around. Near the end of the evening when the CEO was making speeches and giving recognition awards from the stage, he finished off by saying he heard it was my 40th birthday and wouldn't it be a nice way to mark it by giving me the bumps?!!

Before I could react, a cheer went up and about 20 worryingly drunk lads grabbed me, carried me into the centre of the dance floor and started tossing me into the air over and over while everyone counted my age. Unknownst to me, as I was too in shock from being bounced like a beach ball, the seat of my trousers split across my arse while my legs were in mid air showing off the bright red underpants that I was wearing underneath!! I heard everyone laughing but I thought they were just laughing at me being given the bumps.

Even after the lads let finally me down after the 40 bumps, I still saw everyone crying with laughter. Again I assumed they were just laughing at me being tossed up in the air until someone pointed out what actually happened. Only then, did I feel the rip on the back of my trousers. . My face went beetroot and I tried to make a run for the gents but the lads kept grabbing and ribbing me and wouldn't let me off the dance floor. Eventually, I got my jacket from the back of my seat and tied it around my waist and stayed sitting for the rest of the night. Everyone said it was the funniest thing ever...except for me - definitely my most embarrassing moment. I still get slagged about it even now a few years later.

S.L.F · 14-11-2019 5:00pm

AllForIt wrote: »

Say by his 5th visit once again he sat down, ordered his usual glass of red, where later I noticed he'd finished it. Then in a act highly unusual for me, I ordered from the bar his wine (which I had to pay for) and I brought it over to him. He said 'oh I didn't order that', naturally enough...and I said oh well have it on me, all smiley. He gladly accepted it I though I'd successfully made first contact.

You probably turned him straight.

:eek:

S.L.F · 14-11-2019 5:04pm

ongarboy wrote: »

showing off the bright red underpants that I was wearing underneath!!

So long as things are matching people shouldn't laugh.....except maybe it being your underpants and face

AnnieOakes · 14-11-2019 5:30pm

Late in the evening and i was alone in the office (or so I thought).

I was walking towards the exit when I abruptly farted. A colleague's head popped up from his cubicle. I picked up the pace and ran out the door.

I avoided him as much I could for the remainder of my time there (a long 2 months).

ongarboy · 14-11-2019 10:11pm

S.L.F wrote: »

So long as things are matching people shouldn't laugh.....except maybe it being your underpants and face

Supposed it could have been worse if I wasn't wearing any!!!

armaghlad · 14-11-2019 11:56pm

I’m in a Snapchat group with ones from work. One night I was snapping some young thing while at the same time there was activity going on in the work group chat. I accidentally sent my reply that was meant for the young thing to the work Snapchat. Let’s just say the group chat was renamed and now features the aubergine emoji...

branie2 · 14-11-2019 11:58pm

I broke wind in class one day, and the teacher gave out to me.

pq0n1ct4ve8zf5 · 15-11-2019 12:13am

armaghlad wrote: »

I’m in a Snapchat group with ones from work. One night I was snapping some young thing while at the same time there was activity going on in the work group chat. I accidentally sent my reply that was meant for the young thing to the work Snapchat. Let’s just say the group chat was renamed and now features the aubergine emoji...

My boyfriend has a friend living in the UK who he atm primarily communicates with about Football Manager (from what I understand and have observed, basically Fifa but really admin focused as far as gameplay goes, but lookit, in this version of his world Newcastle are killing it so you know, it's nice that he's happy). This friend was messaging him about this new girl he was knocking around with, banging tits this, she's gagging for it that, we don't put labels on it t'other she just loves MUH COCK.

Then messaged him about heyyyy hope work isn't too sh1t, will I pick you up and we'll go to Tesco? Or if you think you'll be too knackered I can go now and get us stuff for dinner xxx?

Biodegradable · 15-11-2019 12:17am

dartboardio wrote: »

To my absolute horror I tried to put the plug onto the shelf and of course, it fell and dunked fully into the full mop bucket nobody seen so I didn't say anything, I just took it out quickly and dried it on my apron saying **** **** ****

Nobody 'saw'

Biodegradable · 15-11-2019 12:19am

dartboardio wrote: »

One night I was finishing up cleaning the kitchen after an 8 hour shift and was the only one there, I went to put this rice cooker thing away and those big industrial rolling mop buckets, were just under the counter (a very stupid place to have a mop bucket with water in it anyway, under electrical) says alot about the idiot that owned it but..

To my absolute horror I tried to put the plug onto the shelf and of course, it fell and dunked fully into the full mop bucket nobody seen so I didn't say anything, I just took it out quickly and dried it on my apron saying **** **** ****

next morning I was in with another lady. I was staying well away from that rice cooker with the wet plug (really shouldve said something)

She went to plug in the rice cooker and got a huuge shock all I heard was 'AGGHH!!' and of course I had to pretend I hadn't a clue, and I walked over with a big fake raised eyebrow face like 'Oh my god, what happened you? The plug? It was wet?! What the hell?!'

Lucky she didn't die but sure look.. Lol!

Was ****ting myself incase they'd looked at the cameras.
Left not too long after that.

Interesting and all as that is, there's actually nothing embarrassing about it as such.

dartboardio · 15-11-2019 12:25am

Biodegradable wrote: »

Nobody 'saw'

Actually, seen, or saw, can be used since the time wasn't really defined!

Biodegradable · 15-11-2019 12:37am

dartboardio wrote: »

Actually, seen, or saw, can be used since the time wasn't really defined!

Incorrect! Your choices are:

"Nobody had seen" or "Nobody saw"

Hellrazer · 15-11-2019 1:02am

Ive posted these 2 before but even now almost 6 years later theyre still the most embarrassing moments ever.

Anyway I ended up at the wrong funeral removal once.

My grandfather died about a few years back and I was told that the funeral removal was on at say 6.00pm and was told to sit at the front with the family as you do.

Got stuck in traffic and arrived at the church about 5.50.Parked the car a fair bit away,ran the distance into the church and sat down right at the front with the family.Looked around and realised that I didnt know anyone that was at the funeral.

Id arrived at the end of 5.30 removal and not the start of the 6.00pm one.

Worst part was I just stood there shaking peoples hands that I didnt even know and people consoling me that obviously didn't know me either.

And then had to do the same half an hour later at the right funeral.

Im still slagged over that one to this day at family gatherings.

Then there was this time I ran over a dog on the way to work on this back road from my home to work.Anyway this dog flies out from a garden and I couldn't stop so I hit the dog.
Dog stops in the middle of the road and I jump out only to see the local vets jeep driving towards me.So I flag down the Vet and ask him to bring the dog to the surgery. I hand him my business card and say Ill pay all the bills etc.
Never heard anything again until a few weeks later a bill arrives to my job for €2500 euros for the dogs treatment and disposal of the body.
So Im there fuming over a 2500 euro bill.I ring the vets number on the invoice and lift the poor girl at reception out it. I was that much of an asshole that she starts crying and goes in the back to the vet and brings him out to take the call.He eventually calms me down and says that they never sent a bill and didn't have a clue what dog I was talking about.
Turned out that 2 of the lads in work photoshopped an invoice from a random vets name and address in the general area that they got off the web and posted the bill to me in work knowing how Id react.
Talk about wanting the ground to swallow you up. I had to send the poor girl a letter of apology and a bunch of flowers to apologise.

BDI · 15-11-2019 1:02am

branie2 wrote: »

Every time my father cracks a terrible pun

Yeah, embarrassed that that man gets up every morning to feed and water ye. How mortifying.

Dads eh, with their managing to meet a girl that likes them, make a family, cloth and feed it and then one day one of the spoilt little family members is embarrassed because he made a joke.

He won’t feel bad probably remembers doing the same to his dad when he was young. Realised he was actually the dcikhed that thought he knew it all back then too.

Anyhow

bear1 · 15-11-2019 12:44pm

I just remembered one!

Flying back from Dublin to Warsaw last Christmas and I had take a few packs of crisps with me onto the plane.
They were in my back pack which I had put between my legs.
Early morning flight so I fell asleep while the plane was taking off.
I must have been asleep 5/10mins when there's an almighty explosion and I wake up shouting "What the fcuk was that?!?!"
People next to me white as ghosts.
I looked down and noticed all the bag of crisps had exploded in tandem.
Said nothing, peered out of the window and kicked the back pack under the seat of the person in front.
Jesus...

LineOfBeauty · 15-11-2019 1:54pm

Earlier this year, went to the Woolshed for the Man City/Spurs 2nd leg Champions League game. Accepted an invite from a "friend" that I'd play football with every week (football friend!). I knew he was a Spurs fan, I didn't know that nobody else from our football group would be there, or that the rest of the table was all Spurs fans that I didn't know. I'm trying to play it cool, sipping on my pint but it's all too much and from under my breath I let out a "Ah Sterling, what are you doing mate!" One of the table turns to me and goes "You're hardly supporting City are you?" I've been exposed as a blue Manc in hostile territory. These are angry guys, full of passion, and I look around and it seems the rest of the Woolshed reflects my table, full of Spurs fans.

So anyone that knows that game, epic back and forth thriller, City go and score a goal in the last minute to take them through the tie. Sterling is on the screen and he's sprinting away, Man City's coach Pep Guardiola is sprinting down the touchline, my beer has flown up into the air, I've turned on my heels, I'm about to sprint through the Woolshed, secrecy be damned, this is the best feeling in the world! And then VAR gets involved. The beer, the sprinting, the euphoria all gone, all that's left is a pub full of Spurs fans jeering me and the lads at the table in hysterics.

razorblunt · 15-11-2019 2:05pm

Alondra Little Drivel wrote: »

My boyfriend has a friend living in the UK who he atm primarily communicates with about Football Manager (from what I understand and have observed, basically Fifa but really admin focused as far as gameplay goes, but lookit, in this version of his world Newcastle are killing it so you know, it's nice that he's happy). This friend was messaging him about this new girl he was knocking around with, banging tits this, she's gagging for it that, we don't put labels on it t'other she just loves MUH COCK.

Then messaged him about heyyyy hope work isn't too sh1t, will I pick you up and we'll go to Tesco? Or if you think you'll be too knackered I can go now and get us stuff for dinner xxx?

Nothing for it now. He'll just have to ghost her. His family. Your fella. The life he knew.

armaghlad · 16-11-2019 8:09am

Just remembering back on my first lads holiday in Santa Ponsa (where else)... the young armaghlad was weary from the previous nights frollicks but needs must and there was an important match to be watched on the big screen in one of the Irish bars.

About ten of us parked ourselves in front of the projector screen but yours truly was struggling to keep his eyes open. Fast forward twenty minutes or so and I wake up to find a pile of people I don’t know sitting at the table, my friends no where to be seen. Whole bar laughing at me as I take myself off in search of my Judas friends, confused and hungover

facehugger99 · 16-11-2019 8:19am

i posted this in the terrible interviews thread a while ago, but it works here too I think......

When I graduated from college, I went to London with friends for 6 months. Spent most of the time there doing casual work, but we had a great time.

So we were coming back to Ireland and I was looking for a 'proper' job in my industry. Spotted an advertisement, sent in my CV and got called for interview.

The only problem was they wanted to do the interview on the morning I was flying back from London. They were based out near the airport so I was thinking that it would work out perfect to go straight there when I got back into Dublin.

Of course, on our last night in London we hit the town. My earlier promises to myself to take it easy went out the window after a couple of pints. 6 hours later I'm E'd off my head in a club with my GF saying that we need to get going if we're going to make our flight. To this day I still wonder why we hadn't organised our packing before heading out - I'm putting it down to being young and stupid.

We dash back to our apartment and frantically pack our stuff. I realise I have nothing remotely appropriate to wear to the interview.

We head out to the airport, on route I stop in a cheap menswear store and, in a very flustered state, buy, what I later realise are, an incredibly ill matched shirt and trousers. They also don't match the shoes I have. Not only that, they're about 2 sizes too big and I've no belt. I should mention, that the extent of this only hits me when I get changed for the interview in the toilets of Dublin airport. My GF bursts out laughing when I emerge.

I'm also at this stage, in the jaws of the comedown from hell. I can't remember when I've last eaten, I haven't slept for 36 hours.

My sister meets me at the airport to drive me over to the interview. She bursts out laughing when she sees me too.

I walk into reception feeling like a complete spa. I kinda have to hold my trousers up by hand to stop them falling down. The secretary looks at me initially as if I'm some escaped lunatic but I explain I'm here for the interview.
There's two guys interviewing me and the first question they ask is the kind of simple question a first year on my college course would know. Obviously designed to put me at my ease.

My mind goes, quite literally, blank. I know I know the answer but I can't bring it to mind. After 30 seconds I have to say 'sorry I just can't recall that'. I can see the two of them exchanging a glance wondering 'WTF?' as one of them explains the answer to me, like you would to a dimwit.
My already fragile confidence nosedives completely.

I try not to remember the rest of the interview. They keep it mercifully short. I can barely string 2words together and I just want to stand up and say 'listen, this has been a terrible mistake, can we just finish up'.

I leave, still holding up my trousers, desperately trying to preserve what little dignity remains.
'How'd it go?' my sister asks brightly when I get in the car.
'Just drive' I say.

Obviously I don't get the job, and despite working in a small industry, never bumped into the 2 guys again thank Christ.

Most embarrassing moment of your life?

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