Louis Theroux

07-11-2018 4:51pm

Babooshka wrote: »

That woman married to Gerry (I can't remember her name) just wanted her cake and eat it, you could quite clearly see that she didn't have any attraction for her husband any more and you can dress it up in whatever BS you want to (her I'm referring to...) but if it walks like a duck. She also had them all playing along in this "we all have a great life tra la la" fantasy where the daughter hugs the other concubine as though they're all great friends, and it was so fake and forced looking, as soon as she got questioned by Louis her front fizzled away and her true controlling personality shone through. She wants her husband to roll over and play along rather than divorce him fine, but she was using her issues and dressing them up in a poly relationship to disguise it. He was completely down in his boots, no self esteem, you could tell a million miles off the man was utterly broken, if you didn't see that, that's ok, I did. How that is healthy for any child as parental role models, I have no idea. The issue wasn't with polygamy for me, it was with a farcical pretence set up in that womans head with the two poor fools playing along.

Joe's wife told Louis that Gerry's wife asked for 4 more days of Joe's company and she refused - she refused, not Joe, they were speaking about him as if he was a posession, both of them here...if that was 2 men discussing a woman there would be uproar. But because it's all dressed up as free loving liberalism we're all meant to act hey, it's all good, everyone's happy. The only person happy was the woman married to Gerry, the other woman was just happy her husband wasn't jumping on her for sex any more, and the whole thing was pretty dysfunctional.

Regarding the gender issue, they didn't say that they weren't raising the child with gender constraints, they refused to refer to the child as any particular gender, which again just smacks of juvenile BS but if you disagree you disagree I won't get into an argument with you, I thought it was f*7ing ridiculous. A micky means male, a fanny is female, nature has spoken. If you refuse to start calling a duck a duck because it may want to be a goose, that's grand, you can all just refer to everything as it from now on. Not me though. I'm old school like that.

With regards to damaging the children, I think breaking up a stable home with multiple carers would be more damaging than their current situation.

Regarding the gender issue, again I don't think juvenile would the best word to use if you trying to criticise it. I don't understand what is juvenile about trying a radically different method to raising a child. While I wouldn't be raising my children to be gender neutral, I can understand where the idea comes from. These people think nurture has a far greater role in developing a person than nature, and I would agree to a degree. Raising a "theyby" is an extension of avoiding the gender constraints that our society has created. I'd imagine if you asked them what sex their child was, they'd tell you male or female. But its the gender that is ambiguous. If you don't think pushing gender roles on children and people is a bad idea, I'll refer you the suicide rates in men vs women in ireland. I think this is direct result of telling our boys to be stoic and "man up". I have no evidence for that correlation but that's my opinion. As someone who has been directly affected by suicide, I'm all for breaking down these gender norms.

But calling a boy a girl and visa-versa, nah that's not the right way to go about it.

Babooshka · 07-11-2018 8:05pm

But I think it is juvenile. The word male describes a male child. If the boy or man decides to trans later in life I'll describe him as a woman when he does but until he does he is a he/boy/man in my dictionary not an "it" and obviously the same for a girl/woman. Labelling a child "it" or "gender fluid" is just another label, like boy, like girl. There's nothing radically difderent in doing so imo and you're not going to change my mind on that.

I have a daughter I don't dress her in pink all the time and she plays with lego, trucks and soldiers as well as princess and dress up girly stuff and we teach her that it's ok to be her no matter what way that "her" comes out. There's no need to go about raising your children in an in your face "don't you dare call my son a boy" manner, I think it's silly, rather ridiculous & it isn't radical or different, it's rather immature and attention seeking. I think I've explained my viewpoint and why I think it's juvenile. You're free to disagree but I'm finished explaining now.

Edit: I see you just said you imagine they'd say whether the child was male or female. But they didn't. It was announced at the end of the programme that they didn't want to push a gender onto their child so we didn't find out if they had a boy or a girl because they weren't comfortable saying... (juvenile) That was the whole point of my rant. Gender constraints is a completely different issue. But being so pedantic about describing your childs anatomy by refusing to say "he" or "she" is a tad too far for me . I think you're confusing two issues. I wholehertedly agree it's bad to make boys feel they can't cry and should man up and other such gender stereotypes but that is not the issue I was ranting over so ive no idea why you're bringing it up with me.

Babooshka · 07-11-2018 8:26pm

[Deleted User] wrote: »

With regards to damaging the children, I think breaking up a stable home with multiple carers would be more damaging than their current situation.

.

I think many seperated and divorced couples would take huge issue with you on this. Enough mature couples are capable of separation and introducing new stable loving partners to their kids (or raising them and sharing custody or going it alone or whatever) and they're not all damaged in the crossfire. Only happens when there's a serious power struggle going on or the couples are very immature and selfish. Kind of like poor Gerry and his wife who acts like a lovesick teenager around Joe.

Basq · 13-11-2018 5:48pm

Heads-up.. the next episode of Altered States - Choosing Death - is on next Sunday at 9pm on BBC2.

TJ Mackie · 18-11-2018 11:29pm

That was a very tough watch at the end.

RocketRaccoon · 18-11-2018 11:41pm

That was rough!

krustydoyle · 22-11-2018 1:18am

Jaysus just caught the repeat..

That ending was very hard to watch

cloudatlas · 24-11-2018 1:00pm

Babooshka wrote: »

That woman married to Gerry (I can't remember her name) just wanted her cake and eat it, you could quite clearly see that she didn't have any attraction for her husband any more and you can dress it up in whatever BS you want to (her I'm referring to...) but if it walks like a duck. She also had them all playing along in this "we all have a great life tra la la" fantasy where the daughter hugs the other concubine as though they're all great friends, and it was so fake and forced looking, as soon as she got questioned by Louis her front fizzled away and her true controlling personality shone through. She wants her husband to roll over and play along rather than divorce him fine, but she was using her issues and dressing them up in a poly relationship to disguise it. He was completely down in his boots, no self esteem, you could tell a million miles off the man was utterly broken, if you didn't see that, that's ok, I did. How that is healthy for any child as parental role models, I have no idea. The issue wasn't with polygamy for me, it was with a farcical pretence set up in that womans head with the two poor fools playing along.

Joe's wife told Louis that Gerry's wife asked for 4 more days of Joe's company and she refused - she refused, not Joe, they were speaking about him as if he was a posession, both of them here...if that was 2 men discussing a woman there would be uproar. But because it's all dressed up as free loving liberalism we're all meant to act hey, it's all good, everyone's happy. The only person happy was the woman married to Gerry, the other woman was just happy her husband wasn't jumping on her for sex any more, and the whole thing was pretty dysfunctional.

Regarding the gender issue, they didn't say that they weren't raising the child with gender constraints, they refused to refer to the child as any particular gender, which again just smacks of juvenile BS but if you disagree you disagree I won't get into an argument with you, I thought it was f*7ing ridiculous. A micky means male, a fanny is female, nature has spoken. If you refuse to start calling a duck a duck because it may want to be a goose, that's grand, you can all just refer to everything as it from now on. Not me though. I'm old school like that.

Jerry knows the deal, you are acting like he is a poor helpless victim who doesn't have a choice. He can call quits. Jerry has agency in this situation to suggest otherwise is naive.

Furthermore: the fact that you describe one of the women as a concubine and don't remember their names betrays misogyny.

Regarding the gender issue people like you who act with hostility against non-binary is really strange, how exactly does it effect you? not one bit in reality, I can understand laughing a little bit about the linguistic awkwardness from not knowing the correct pronouns but the anger really is sad. I have non binary friends and they are happy it's not an issue for me I don't need to put sticky labels on people to feel secure in myself.

PressRun · 28-11-2018 6:03pm

Watched the polygamy one. The whole thing just seems like a lot of emotional labour with very little reward in return. To each their own and all that, but the constantly changing relationship dynamics just seems emotionally exhausting and it didn't seem like any of them wanted to be honest about that. I couldn't be arsed with it myself.

BaZmO* · 04-03-2019 10:10pm

There’s a new one on now! It’s a look at how college campuses deal with accusations of sexual assault.

Don’t why it didn’t come up my radar until now. I’m sure it’ll be repeated.

ERG89 · 04-03-2019 10:40pm

Fascinating twist if a little expected

krustydoyle · 04-03-2019 10:42pm

This is really interesting.. Great twist

Edit :look at his neck...

E mac · 04-03-2019 10:47pm

Saifs shady.

ERG89 · 04-03-2019 11:02pm

Ugh Saifs lawyer is like one of those seen in a TV show, almost as convincing an shyster as he is.
The whole American dream thing seemed out of left field, tbh if your family can afford Yale your not exactly struggling.

Basq · 04-03-2019 11:08pm

One of the best of Louis's recent docs IMO!

The questioning of Saif with regards to Jon's comments was strange yet very compelling.. constantly speaking in the third person while appearing disconnected and almost unwilling to engage.

Mam of 4 · 04-03-2019 11:10pm

BaZmO* wrote: »

There’s a new one on now! It’s a look at how college campuses deal with accusations of sexual assault.

Don’t why it didn’t come up my radar until now. I’m sure it’ll be repeated.

What channel was it on ?

Basq · 04-03-2019 11:14pm

Mam of 4 wrote: »

What channel was it on ?

BBC2.. it has been advertised but considerably less than his previous three.

batistuta9 · 05-03-2019 12:10am

I never knew about this either.

Up on iplayer now anyway & shown again on Sunday night bbc2, except the northern Ireland channels

Mam of 4 · 05-03-2019 12:11am

^^^^^^
Thank you both

bobsman · 05-03-2019 12:43am

Anyone have a VPN I can use to access IPlayer ?

batistuta9 · 11-05-2019 7:20pm

on again tomorrow @ 9, bbc 2

Mothers on the Edge

Louis Theroux returns to the UK to spend time in specialist psychiatric units which treat mothers experiencing serious mental illness whilst allowing them to live alongside their babies. Immersing himself on the wards, he meets women who have been admitted with a range of serious conditions - including depression, anxiety and psychosis - often triggered by birth or the strains of motherhood. As he follows the patients and their families both in hospital and recovering back at home, Louis explores what lies behind their recent crisis and discovers the immense challenge in caring for two people in the most vulnerable state of their lives.

never watched the last one, is it any good?

Still Ill · 11-05-2019 8:42pm

batistuta9 wrote: »

on again tomorrow @ 9, bbc 2

Mothers on the Edge

never watched the last one, is it any good?

Hasn't been on yet!

cannotlogin · 11-05-2019 9:06pm

Would anyone know where I can watch The Night In Question online?

The only place I can find it is on BBC iPlayer but can't view it as not in the UK

Jewelers · 11-05-2019 9:31pm

cannotlogin wrote: »

Would anyone know where I can watch The Night In Question online?

The only place I can find it is on BBC iPlayer but can't view it as not in the UK

loads of torrents for it

cannotlogin · 11-05-2019 9:48pm

Jewelers wrote: »

loads of torrents for it

Can't find anything that will play other than trailers

Jewelers · 12-05-2019 9:55am

cannotlogin wrote: »

Can't find anything that will play other than trailers

do you know what torrents are ?

OmegaGene · 12-05-2019 10:46am

cannotlogin wrote: »

Would anyone know where I can watch The Night In Question online?

The only place I can find it is on BBC iPlayer but can't view it as not in the UK

Smart dns will solve your problem

The Black Oil · 12-05-2019 11:31am

Mod - As per the charter, let's not go further into talk of torrents, or circumventing regional restrictions, thanks.

c.p.w.g.w · 12-05-2019 10:13pm

Just watching the "Mother's on the edge"

Desperate stuff altogether, fair play to the women for doing the show.

One thing that really surprised me, was the girl(Catherine) still on Instagram. A lot of her issues are linked to unrealistic expectations, which social media feed.

12-05-2019 10:16pm

Therous is on the most recent Desert Island Discs

Louis Theroux

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